💡What if your next promotion didn’t come from working harder; but from being seen differently?

I help Tech professionals go from being “too technical to lead” to trusted, influential, fulfilled leaders. 

🧠 Backed by neuroscience, psychology, and real-world experience, I blend inner clarity with high-performance strategies

What I Help You Do:
→ Build visibility, influence & strategic presence
→ Reframe imposter syndrome into intentional confidence
→ Communicate like a leader, not just an expert
→ Break through the performance trap & lead on your terms

Why Work With Me?
• 15+ years in Tech (Salesforce, HP, Pre-Sales & Leadership)
• MSc in Psychology & Neuroscience (King’s College London)
• Certified Executive Coach (ICF ACC + Barefoot Coaching + NLP Practitioner)
• Search Inside Yourself (Google-born Mindfulness Leadership)
• Trained to 'Teach' meditation directly by Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach
• 10x Marathoner — I coach what I’ve lived

🎯 Currently accepting coaching partnerships for high-performing tech professionals
📩 DM me or visit www.stephenbaines.coach

Your leadership isn’t about doing more
It’s about becoming more of who you already are

Companies want you back in the office for one reason
... And it's not collaboration

Look at the data:

Stanford: Remote workers 13% more productive
Gallup: 38% remote workers engaged vs 19% office
78% of managers say remote teams exceed goals

Yet reports suggest 73% of companies are forcing RTO

Why?

Connection, innovation and performance is often cited. But the real reason?

Control

When you're remote, they can't:
• See you "working"
• Warrant middle management
• Justify the expensive office lease

When you're remote, you can:
• Deliver actual results
• Interview without taking PTO (and make up the hours)
• Realise you don't need them

That terrifies them

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗗𝗔𝗧𝗔 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧𝗦 𝗜𝗚𝗡𝗢𝗥𝗘𝗗:

Office workers spend 32% of time on "performative work"
Basically looking busy instead of being productive

Remote workers get in ~5 hours of deep work
Office workers get 2 (if lucky)

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗨𝗠𝗔𝗡 𝗖𝗢𝗦𝗧:

Office = ~400 hours/year commuting
Remote = ~400 hours back in your life

Office = Kids asleep when you leave AND return
Remote = Actually present for your family

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗡𝗘𝗨𝗥𝗢𝗦𝗖𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘:

Open offices trigger cortisol all day
Your brain treats interruptions as threats

Home triggers focus
Performance increases ~31%

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗬𝗣𝗢𝗖𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗬:

CEOs work remotely all the time and label it: "Strategic thinking"
You work from home: "Not committed"

Meanwhile:
• 76% of people would quit if flexibility removed
• 22% see a productivity boost when given choice

The reality is that companies forcing RTO are really say:
"We don't trust you"
"We can't manage by results"

The best talent is leaving
Building the future elsewhere

I've watched this hundreds of times:

Forced RTO → Performance drops → They find remote role → Thriving in 6 months

Every. Single. Time

𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗠𝗢𝗩𝗘:

32.6 million US workers will be remote by 2025
That's a >200% increase from pre-pandemic

You're not asking for a perk
You're asking to do your best work

Companies that don't get this?
Tomorrow's Blockbuster

💬 Is your company forcing RTO? What's your plan?

♻️ Share with someone fighting for flexibility

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for data-driven truth about modern work

Stephen Baines

Building Influential Tech Leaders | Coaching Psychologist | Favikon #1 UK Meditation & Mindfulness | Salesforce Leader

Everyone thinks burnout is about work-life balance
... They're solving the wrong problem

THE BURNOUT ICEBERG:

What people see:
• Long hours
• Looking exhausted  
• Missing lunch breaks

What actually prevents burnout:
• A great leader who trusts you
• Mindful awareness of your thoughts and emotions
• Having actual fun at work
• Strong wellness habits as foundation
• Growth prospects that excite you
• Constructive feedback that helps
• Continual learning opportunities
• Passion and purpose in your work
• Flexibility to work your way

The list goes on...

The reality is:
⛔ You can't yoga your way out of a toxic boss
⛔ You can't meditate away micromanagement
⛔ You can't vacation from a dead-end role

Burnout isn't about YOU being weak
It's about CONDITIONS being wrong

THE 30-DAY FIX:

⚡ Week 1: Find one thing that gives you energy. Do more of it
⛔ Week 2: Set one boundary. Hold it
📈 Week 3: Start one conversation about growth
🚀 Week 4: Make one change. Track the difference

Small shifts compound

If you feel alive on Sunday but dead by Tuesday, the math is clear:

Stop fixing yourself
Start changing conditions

💬 What actually prevents YOUR burnout?

♻️ Share with someone who needs this permission

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for truth about thriving at work

70% of resignations have nothing to do with money
The real reason?

Leaders who don't say "thank you"
... AND mean it!

Properly. Specifically. Publicly

Appreciation isn't a nice-to-have
It's how humans are wired to perform

The neuroscience is clear:
Recognition triggers the same brain regions as financial reward

But here's what most leaders do instead:
⛔ 1:1s focused on operations
⛔ Generic praise
⛔ Pizza Fridays

Meanwhile the top performers hasn't heard their name in 6 months

💬 When did someone last appreciate YOUR specific contribution?

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for leadership psychology that works
Also grab my newsletter for weekly strategies to grow as leaders https://lnkd.in/ejtfPG9J

"Remote workers are lazy"

Really?

Office workers THINK we're:
☕ Sipping coffee all day
📺 Netflix between emails
🛋️ Taking afternoon naps
📵 Ghosting our teams

Remote workers ACTUALLY:
🌍 Lead global teams at 8AM
⚡ Get 5 hours deep work (office gets 2)
📊 Own outcomes, not face-time
🎯 Deliver without supervision
🧩 Problem Solve without adhoc chats
🧭 Lead without visibility

For me, its quite obvious with the research also backing it up:
• 76% report higher productivity (Gallup)
• 90% maintain or improve quality
• 45% fewer wasted meetings

IMO, the pushback on remote is twofold:
🏢 Real-estate utilisation (back-scratching)
😱 Leaders who don't know how to lead remote teams

The fact is, remote work doesn't create lazy workers
It reveals who's been carrying the team all along

The office HIDES mediocrity
Remote EXPOSES excellence

No wonder managers want you back
Your performance makes them look bad

💬 Office or remote... where do you actually deliver?

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for truth about modern work

Working harder won't get you promoted
Working smarter will

Look at these 15 "lazy" habits

Top performers do all of them

Because success isn't about hours
It's about impact

All because...
You can't create impact exhausted
You can't think when wiped out
You can't operate to your best in toxic environments

💬 Which "lazy" habit actually makes you brilliant?

♻️ Share with someone killing themselves for a promotion

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for truth about getting ahead

15 Signs You’re Already A Great Leader
(even without the title)

The signs are obvious when pointed out to us. See below:

1. People seek your input (when you're not even their boss)
2. You steady yourself first (before helping others panic)
3. You create clarity (when everyone else is confused)
4. You give credit, take blame (without being asked)
5. You protect focus (by saying "no" for the team)
6. You coach, not control (people grow around you)
7. You translate chaos (into simple next steps)
8. You fix unowned problems (because someone has to)
9. You set standards silently (others just follow)
10. You're copied (your habits become team habits)
11. You decide the unspoken (when no one else will)
12. You decide with context (not just data)
13. You keep promises (even tiny ones)
14. You learn in public (admitting what you don't know)
15. You speak for the silent (giving voice to the quiet)

You might think you need:
⛔ A title
⛔ Direct reports  
⛔ Authority

But you're already:
✅ Setting standards
✅ Building trust
✅ Creating clarity
✅ Influencing outcomes

You're not preparing to lead
You're already leading

The only question:
Will you own it?

QUICK TEST:
5+ signs = Leading informally
10+ signs = Ready for the title
13+ signs = Probably underpaid

💬 How many signs? (Be honest)

♻️ Tag someone who doesn't know they're already leading

➕ And drop me a follow for more psychology of leadership gems

Learn these phrases now...

Never tolerate them again
Your future self will thank you

Look at this image

After coaching 200+ professionals, I found the pattern:

One sentence under pressure reveals everything about a leader

THE PHRASES THAT DESTROY VS BUILD:

"𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘅, 𝗻𝗼𝘄"
Translation: Your feelings are inconvenient

"𝗟𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗽𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗽 𝘀𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿"
Translation: Your humanity matters more than this deadline

See the difference?
One dismisses. One connects

"𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝘂𝗻𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲"
Creates fear, kills innovation

"𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿"
Creates safety, sparks solutions

Your team doesn't need your panic
They need your confidence

"𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲?"
Everyone goes into survival mode

"𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗴𝗼 𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗱, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗶𝘁"
Everyone goes into growth mode

Accountability without assassination
That's leadership

"𝗜'𝗺 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀"
Shows exactly who you are

"𝗜 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗜 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘂𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱?"
Shows exactly who they can trust

THE NEUROSCIENCE:

Blame language triggers amygdala hijack
Team IQ drops 20-30% instantly

Growth language activates prefrontal cortex
Team performance increases 31%

Your words literally change their brains

"𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸"
That person updates their resume tonight

"𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂?"
That person becomes your strongest ally

Here's what I learned the hard way:

Every crisis reveals character
Not through the problem
Through the language

I've watched brilliant strategies fail because of one toxic sentence
I've watched average teams excel because of one supportive phrase

The pattern is undeniable:

Weak leaders make it about them
Strong leaders make it about the team

Weak leaders protect their ego
Strong leaders protect their people

Your team will forget your successes
They'll never forget how you treated them at their lowest

THE BRUTAL TRUTH:

In 10 years, nobody remembers the crisis
Everyone remembers how you handled it

Your words under pressure become their stories about you

Choose them wisely

💬 Which phrase has stuck with you for years?

♻️ Share with a leader who needs this mirror

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for leadership psychology that transforms cultures

"Just practice self-care!"
"Set better boundaries!"
"Try meditation!"

Hmm... This is victim-blaming

Most people think burnout is about working too much
They're solving the wrong problem

THE BURNOUT ICEBERG:

What people see:
• Long hours
• Looking exhausted
• Poor wellness habits

What's actually killing you:
• Micromanagement crushing your soul
• Bias keeping you invisible
• Zero growth for 3 years
• Toxic culture you can't escape
• No psychological safety to speak up
• 24/7 demands with no flexibility
• Poor feedback that destroys confidence
• Lack of purpose in meaningless work

The reality is...
⛔ That meditation app won't fix your toxic leader
⛔ That vacation won't cure being excluded
⛔ That gym membership won't solve micromanagement

You're not burned out because you're weak
You're burned out because the conditions are broken

THE REALITY CHECK:

If you feel alive on Sunday but dead by Tuesday?
That's not a YOU problem
That's a THEM problem

Stop trying to fix yourself
Start recognising what's actually broken

Your exhaustion isn't personal failure
It's the environmental you find yourself in

💬 Which have you noticed might be sapping your energy?

♻️ Share for others who may be struggling with burnout

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for truth about the psychology of the workplace

The most undervalued thing you can do to grow your career?


Kindness!

People might forget your code
They will forget your presentations
They certainly will forget your metrics

But they will NEVER forget how you made them feel

Here's 10 simple acts of kindness that cost nothing but change everything:

✅ Be the mentor you needed at their stage
✅ Open source your knowledge
✅ Protect their cherished time - that Slack can wait till Monday
✅ So the awkward thing that will make someones life easier
✅ Give verbal constructive feedback, often
✅ "Emma's role in the demo was instrumental" - share the credit
✅ Share your f*ck-ups - it normalises theirs
✅ Notice the wins, not just the misses
✅ Defend the 'human deadlines' (e.g. their child's nativity)
✅ Jump in when they're drowning, not when it's convenient

There is science behind this too...

Acts of kindness release oxytocin
Creates trust at a chemical level
Makes teams significantly more effective

Kindness isn't soft
It's strategic

Because everyone's fighting something you can't see

💬 What act of kindness changed your career trajectory?

♻️ Share with someone who makes work more human

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for leadership psychology that works

Every burnout story I've heard starts the same way...
"My manager..."

Look at this image

This isn't coincidence. It's causation

I've coached 200+ leaders and see the same pattern

A toxic manager triggers the same stress response as physical danger
Your body can't tell the difference

Cortisol flooding. Sleep destroyed. Immune system crashing

All from someone's "leadership style"

Here's what 16 years in tech taught me:

🔴 𝗕𝗮𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀
Anxiety, depression, chronic stress
Medical bills they'll never pay

🟢 𝗚𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿𝘀
Engaged, energised, effective
Results where the credit is given where its due

⚡ 𝗚𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀
Transformed careers, changed lives
Legacy that lasts decades

THE NEUROSCIENCE IS BRUTAL:

Psychological safety isn't soft skills
It's brain chemistry

When your manager dismisses you:
• Amygdala hijack (fight or flight)
• Prefrontal cortex shuts down
• Creative thinking stops
• Learning becomes impossible

You're not weak. You're human
Your brain is doing exactly what it evolved to do

THE TRUTH NOBODY ADMITS:

We spend 2,000+ hours a year under someone's leadership

That's more time than with:
• Your partner
• Your therapist  
• Your doctor
• Your friends

Yet we treat manager selection like it doesn't matter

"They're good at the technical stuff"
"They've been here longest"
"They wanted the promotion"

Then wonder why burnout is an epidemic?

YOUR REALITY CHECK:

If Sunday feels free but Monday feels like prison
If you dread that weekly 1:1
If you've stopped sharing ideas

That's not imposter syndrome
That's environmental toxicity

One great manager changed my entire trajectory at 30
One terrible one nearly ended it at 34

The difference? 
One saw potential. The other was scared

💬 Has a manager ever changed your life? For better or worse?

♻️ Share with someone who needs to hear this truth

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for psychology that challenges leadership norms.
Grab my newsletter too for weekly growth drops https://lnkd.in/ejtfPG9J

The most dangerous employee isn't the underperformer

It's the high performer who's given up

Still hitting targets
Still showing up
Soul already gone

Look at this image

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗠𝗘𝗥 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗢𝗫:

High performers don't quit by doing less
They quit by caring less

Work stays excellent
Metrics stay green
Reviews stay glowing

But mentally? They're interviewing elsewhere

𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗘𝗧 𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗦 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘:

Not the surface signs:
• Working to rule (that's boundaries)
• Saying no to extra work (that's wisdom)
• Not volunteering (that's self-preservation)

The real signs:
• Best ideas stay in their head
• Innovation goes to side projects
• Used to challenge → now just nods
• Camera on → camera off

They become ghosts in high performers' bodies

𝗧𝗛𝗘 5 𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗡𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗞𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗘𝗫𝗖𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘:

After coaching 200+ professionals, here's what I've noticed breaks them:

🔴 𝗕𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘀
"Next year will be your year" (2 years running)

🟡 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝘁
Their ideas. Someone else's promotion

🟢 𝗡𝗼 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵
Same role, new title, lateral "promotion"

🔵 𝗪𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘀𝗲
Another pivot ignoring everything they built

🟣 𝗧𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗰 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽
Managed by someone they'd never choose

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗡𝗘𝗨𝗥𝗢𝗦𝗖𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗚𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗨𝗣:

When excellence isn't recognised:
• Dopamine drops 40%
• Motivation becomes mechanical
• Brain redirects passion elsewhere

It's not attitude
It's biology protecting itself

𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗛𝗜𝗚𝗛 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗡𝗘𝗘𝗗:

Not:
❌ Unambitious projects
❌ Limited progression
❌ "Great job!" feedback

Just:
✅ Growth that's real
✅ Recognition that's fair
✅ Leaders worth following
✅ Work that matters

They're not asking for the moon
They're asking for meaning
Purpose

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗡 𝗜 𝗦𝗘𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗗𝗟𝗬:

Year 1: Enthusiasm and Excellence despite frustration
Year 2: Performance despite disengagement
Year 3: Gone

The tragedy?

These weren't burnouts
They were opt-outs

Opt-outs that see companies lose their best people not in dramatic exits
But in quiet surrenders

While planning their next project,
That high performer is planning their exit

𝗜𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗥𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗚𝗡𝗜𝗭𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙:

You're not broken
Your standards aren't too high
Your ambition isn't the problem

You're in the wrong environment

Excellence needs a home, not a cage

Build your bridge quietly
Network strategically
Exit gracefully

High performers don't burn bridges
They build better ones

💬 What's the moment high performers realise it's over?

♻️ Share with someone who needs to recognise the signs

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for psychology of workplace excellence
... and be sure to grab my newsletter here for weekly action drops https://lnkd.in/ejtfPG9J

People think remote work = 🍺 🐕 🧘‍♀️ 📺 🏝️
They're wrong!

... It's killing OFFICE Culture!

Reality is, REMOTE is not...
📺 Netflix on in the background
🧺 A laundry cycle between meetings
☕ Fancy lattes in the kitchen
🐕 A dog in every Zoom call
🛀 Hot tubs whilst wiggling the mouse

For high performers, here's what it looks like:
✅ Fewer distractions
✅ More focused mornings
✅ Deep work without side chats
✅ Results over office optics
✅ Outside work balance

The research supports it too:
📊 McKinsey found remote teams waste 45% less time in meetings
📈 Gallup found remote workers are 31% more engaged than office workers
🎯 Owl Labs saw 90% of remote workers report higher productivity

Personally... I find the office distracting

Whilst side-conversations do promote innovation, the cost is deep-work

The reality for me is the following:
🏢 Office = meetings, distractions, commute, repeat
🏡 Remote = intention, autonomy, impact

Let's be clear though:
💡 The location doesn't make you productive
🧠 YOUR HABITS DO!

Location should be irrelevant

And the data supports this:
📈 McKinsey research shows hybrid workers report better focus, productivity, and work-life balance than office or remote workers

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💪 Your best work environment
⏰ Daily focused hours
🏆 Biggest remote work win

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Your IQ got you hired. Your EQ will get you promoted

Look at this image

After coaching 200+ high performers, here's the pattern:

The brilliant ones who stay stuck?
Less focus on emotional intelligence

Here's what I believe to be 8 EQ skills that will shape your career:

1. 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗘𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘀𝘁
Stop waiting for others to prove themselves
Start extending trust first

People mirror what you give them
Give suspicion, get politics
Give trust, get loyalty

2. 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝗕𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴
Stop thinking you know what they want
Start asking what they actually need

Mind reading isn't a skill
It's arrogance disguised as intuition

3. 𝗦𝗮𝘆 "𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝗬𝗼𝘂"
Not just to your boss
To the security guard. The intern. The cleaner

How you treat people who can't help you
Reveals who you really are

4. 𝗞𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘀
That "quick sync" you promised
That intro you said you'd make
That feedback you committed to

Your reputation is built on small promises
Not big achievements

5. 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗢𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗨𝗽
Share credit loudly
Take blame quietly

The fastest way up?
Bring others with you

6. 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀
"I was wrong"
"I don't know"
"I need help"

Three phrases that accelerate careers
Most are too proud to use them

7. 𝗣𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗕𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴
That defensive response? Swallow it
That angry Slack? Delete it
That emotional decision? Sleep on it

Your reactions reveal your maturity
Choose them wisely

8. 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆
Your colleague is struggling? Notice
Your boss is stressed? Acknowledge
Your report is growing? Celebrate

EQ isn't about being nice
It's about being aware

THE NEUROSCIENCE:

High EQ professionals:
• Earn an average of $29k more annually
• Get promoted faster
• Build stronger networks

Low EQ professionals:
• Plateau regardless of talent
• Burn bridges they'll need later
• Wonder why they're overlooked

Here's what nobody tells you:

Technical skills get you in the room
Emotional intelligence keeps you there

Your code might be perfect
Your analysis might be brilliant
Your strategy might be flawless

But if people don't trust you?
None of it matters

The brutal truth:

Every job is a people job
Every role requires influence
Every promotion needs advocates

And nobody advocates for assholes

💬 Which EQ skill will unlock your next level?

♻️ Share with someone brilliant but stuck

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for psychology that accelerates careers

7 corporate contradictions that make my coaching psychologist brain SCREAM

I've coached 200+ high performers...
The ones who quit?

It wasn't the workload
It was the LIES...

1️⃣ "We want your ideas!"
... but shoots down every suggestion in meetings

Your reality:
→ Spent weeks perfecting that proposal
→ "Let's stick with what works"
→ Watch CEO's nephew's half-baked idea get green lit

The Psychology: Learned helplessness. The best people stop trying

2️⃣ "Performance matters!"
... but they promote the golf buddy

Your reality:
→ Top performer 3 years running
→ That mediocre guy who drinks with VP? 
→ He's your new boss

The Truth: It's 20% performance, 80% politics

3️⃣ "Take ownership!"
... but they micromanage your font choice

Your reality:
→ "Own this end-to-end!"
→ 47 check-ins later...
→ Can't order a $20 cable without approval

The Joke: Accountability without authority

4️⃣ "Grow your skills!"
... but they keep you in same role for 5 years

Your reality:
→ "You're too valuable here"
→ 10th lateral "stretch opportunity"
→ New hire gets the promotion

The Trap: Excellence becomes your prison

5️⃣ "Speak up!"
... but then get pulled aside by your skip-level

Your reality:
→ Point out broken process
→ "That's not very collaborative"
→ Branded "not a team player"

The Lesson: They want agreement, not input

6️⃣ "Leadership potential!"
... but there is no path to get there

Your reality:
→ "Need leadership experience first"
→ "Can't get you a team without experience"
→ Infinite loop activated

The Scam: Catch-22 by design

7️⃣ "Work-life balance!"
... but you carry 3 people's workload

Your reality:
→ You cover for under-performers
→ "You're so capable!"
→ 70-hour weeks = "normal"

The reward for good work? More work

The reality is that these aren't accidents
They're features

Your options:
⚠️  Play the game (soul-crushing)
⚠️  Lower your standards (career suicide)  
✅ Find real leaders (unicorn hunting)
✅ Leave (scary but liberating)
✅ Become the leader you needed (power move)

After 15 years seeing these cycles in my career and clients...

The high performers who survive don't fight the system

They build their own

💬 Which lie have you been told in your career?

♻️ Share this with that high performer who's about to burn out

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for more psychology truths leaders don't want you to know

7 Things that Make My Coaching Psychologist Brain SCREAM!

The promotion you're killing yourself for?
It comes with a 30% salary increase

And a 300% misery multiplier you don't initially see!

Look at this image

Salary bumps = temporary dopamine
Toxic culture = permanent cortisol

After coaching people who have worked through both sides of this, the math is brutal:

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝗖𝗢𝗦𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 "𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗝𝗢𝗕":

Your Sunday nights are gone
52 weeks of dread = 1/7 of your life in anxiety

Your confidence is eroding
Every toxic meeting chips away at who you are
Year 3: You don't recognise yourself

Your skills are dying
While you play politics, your peers are building the future
Your LinkedIn looks impressive. Your abilities? Obsolete

Your network is worthless
Surrounded by equally miserable people
Nobody's opening doors. Everyone's protecting their spot

Your family gets your worst
They get what's left after your boss takes the best
"Daddy's always tired" becomes your legacy

Meanwhile, in a healthy culture?

You're learning from people who want you to win
Building skills that compound
Creating relationships that become opportunities
Actually enjoying Mondays (revolutionary concept)

THE NEUROSCIENCE:

Toxic culture = chronic stress = literal stunted brain growth
Your hippocampus shrinks. Memory suffers
Your prefrontal cortex weakens. Decision-making deteriorates

That salary increase? 
You're paying with your neurons

I took voluntary redundancy at 30
Hardest decision. Best decision

Within 2 years:
• Income far exceeded old role
• Leading transformative projects
• Home for dinner

The brutal truth:

High salary in toxic culture = slow death with nice things
Lower salary in growth culture = building something unstoppable

One makes you rich on paper
One makes you wealthy in life

Most people choose the paycheck
Then wonder why they're empty

Your call:
Another year of golden handcuffs?
Or finally choosing growth?

💬 What's the real cost of your current role?

♻️ Share with someone who needs to see this math

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for truth about workplace success

Most people think they're great listeners
But they're stuck at level 2.

They nod
They wait their turn
They think they're engaged

But they're missing 80% of the conversation

The difference between good and great leaders?

They great ones master the art of real listening

THE 5 LEVELS OF LISTENING:

𝗟𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 1: 𝗪𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗔𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸
Listening for gaps to insert your point
Planning rebuttals while they speak
Missing everything that matters

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 40% 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘩 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘴

𝗟𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 2: 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴
Catching keywords
Nodding appropriately
Zero emotional connection

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 35%

𝗟𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 3: 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴
Understanding context
Asking clarifying questions
Actually remembering what was said

𝘖𝘯𝘭𝘺 20% 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦

𝗟𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 4: 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗼𝗼𝗺
Noticing body language shifts
Sensing emotional undercurrents
Hearing the hesitation before the "yes"

𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 4% 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴

𝗟𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 5: 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴
Hearing what they're afraid to say
Understanding their real problem (not the presented one)
Knowing their next concern before they voice it

𝘛𝘩𝘦 1% 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴

Here's what changes at Level 5:

• You solve problems others don't see
• People trust you with real issues
• You prevent fires instead of fighting them
• Your 1:1s become transformational

THE NEUROSCIENCE:

Level 1-2: Activates YOUR speech centers
Level 3-4: Activates mirror neurons
Level 5: Full prefrontal cortex engagement

You're literally using different parts of your brain

Most leaders think listening is passive
It's the most active thing you can do

Want to test your level?

After your next conversation, write down:
- What they said
- What they meant
- What they didn't say

If you can't do all three, you're below Level 3

💬 What level are you honestly at?

♻️ Share with someone who needs to hear better

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Every burnout I've coached took the higher salary

Every success story took the growth

Look at this image...

In all the people I've coached, I've seen both sides:

The ones chasing money are miserable
The ones who chose growth are thriving

THE BRUTAL MATH OF A TOXIC JOB:

£150K salary sounds life-changing
Until you calculate the real cost:

• Sunday anxiety that steals your weekend
• A boss who makes you question your competence daily
• Zero mentorship = stuck at the same level for years
• Skills becoming obsolete while you do busywork
• Your confidence eroding with every meeting
• Missing your kids' bedtime... again

Meanwhile, the £100K role with actual growth?

You're learning from leaders who invest in you
Building skills that compound
Creating a network that opens doors
Actually excited about Monday mornings

In 3 years:
Toxic job person: Same title, shrinking confidence, outdated skills
Growth job person: Leading teams, doubled income, industry recognition

THE HIDDEN COSTS NOBODY CALCULATES:

𝗟𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗙𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗘𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀:
No mentorship = no promotions = same salary for 5 years
While peers who chose growth are 2 levels above you

𝗥𝗲𝗽𝘂𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗗𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗲:
Associated with a toxic culture becomes YOUR brand
"Oh, you worked THERE?" follows you for years

𝗦𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗔𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗵𝘆:
Doing meaningless work while technology passes you by
Your market value decreasing every quarter

𝗡𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗣𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘁𝘆:
Toxic environments repel top talent
You're networking with people going nowhere

𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗘𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻:
From "rising star" to "just trying to survive"
You don't recognize who you've become

THE NEUROSCIENCE IS BRUTAL:

Toxic environments trigger cortisol continuously
Your brain literally shrinks
IQ drops 13 points
Creativity dies

Growth environments release dopamine
Your brain forms new connections
Performance increases 31%
You become who you could be

At 30, I took a redundancy from HP to escape a somewhat toxic environment
Best financial decision I ever made

Within 18 months:
• Promoted twice
• Income exceeded old role
• Actually enjoyed Mondays
• My family got me back

Here's what nobody tells you:

A great salary in a toxic culture is a prison with golden bars

You can't buy your way out of:
- Years of stunted growth
- A reputation tied to a failing company
- The confidence you lost
- The opportunities you missed

But in the right environment?

Your potential has no ceiling
Your growth becomes exponential
Your work becomes meaningful

The question isn't "What does it pay?"
It's "Who will I become?"

One makes you rich for a year
One makes you valuable for life

💬 Have you ever chosen growth over money? What happened?

♻️ Share with someone weighing this decision

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for psychology that builds careers

Well, that 9 years has flown by!

Crazy to think when I joined Salesforce we were at ~15,000 people and $6bn in revenue and now we're quadruple on both fronts. Innovations just keep coming too

Truly grateful for those who brought me in here and also those of you who gave me a shot in the various roles I've had. I've had some amazing mentors and coaches in my time here... It's been a hell of a ride

90% of feedback is toxic. Even when it's "positive"

Look at this image

Most tech professionals are stuck at Level 1. Silent Killers

Watching problems. Saying nothing
Not always out of intent though
Sometimes out of fear!

After coaching 200+ tech high performers, here's the patterns I see:

🤯 Bad feedback destroys careers
🪴 Good feedback changes them
🚀 Great feedback builds empires

But 90% of tech professionals give feedback that:
• Protects feelings over growth
• Focuses solely on the positive
• Is not constructive

In all those I've coached around feedback, its become a core pillar of not only their growth, but of those around them

Even if they aren't a formal leader themselves

This is 'leading without a title'

So the Five Levels... lets explore:

🔴 The Silent Killer: Has ideas. Chooses silence. Teams rot
🟡 The Sugar Coater: "Good job"... "Needs work". Useless
🟢 The Cheerleader: All praise, no growth. Feel-good poison
🔵 The Coach: Specific. Actionable. Actually useful
⚡ The Catalyst: Future-focused. Transforms thinking

Here's a flip on your likely perception of these...

Level 3 feels kind. It's actually cruel
Level 4 feels harsh. It's actually caring
Level 5 feels impossible. It's just rare

There is some neuroscience findings that supports this too:

😰 Vague feedback activates anxiety centers
🙋‍♂️ Specific feedback activates learning centers

By giving great feedback, you're literally rewiring their brain
... Or breaking it by not!

Most tech professionals THINK they're at Level 4
They're ACTUALLY at Level 2
Everyone else knows it

Want proof? 

Ask people in your team: "What's the most useful feedback you've gotten from me?"

Their silence will tell you everything

Or maybe they will give you Level 2 feedback too!

💬 What level is YOUR manager at? (Be honest)

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for leadership truths that promotes growth

That person you treat like sh1t because they "can't help you"?

They're documenting everything
Building something bigger
And they'll remember you

Look at this image

We all see it. We all talk about it

The most successful people treat everyone like they're the CEO
The least successful only respect those who can help them

One builds empires. One builds nothing

Showing respect to others regardless of their role, qualifications or experiences influences our outcomes in more ways than you might think

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗡𝗘𝗨𝗥𝗢𝗦𝗖𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘:

Show respect = Oxytocin release = Trust up 87%
Show dismissal = Cortisol spike = They remember forever

Your reputation spreads faster than you think

𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗥-𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗛𝗜𝗙𝗧𝗦:

1. Ask "What excites you?" not "What do you do?"
2. Thank the invisible people (they see everything)
3. Listen for wisdom, not titles

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗜𝗗𝗗𝗘𝗡 𝗧𝗥𝗨𝗧𝗛:

That receptionist knows every decision before you
That junior is building the next unicorn at night
That "nobody" might be the CEO's daughter

But even if they weren't... respect isn't about future value

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗕𝗥𝗨𝗧𝗔𝗟 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬:

Companies winning? CEOs know the cleaner's name
Companies losing? Lunch tables divided by title

Character isn't revealed in boardrooms
It's revealed in hallways

💬 Who did you dismiss that later surprised you?

♻️ Share if respect matters more than hierarchy

➕ Follow Stephen Baines for uncomfortable workplace truths

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