I write Drunk Business Advice, lead Stealth Mastermind, and shitpost on LinkedIn.

My last Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Pararade as a Manhattan resident! 🥹

It’s so damn joyful. Impossible not to smile.

And happy eat-too-much-food-and-drink-too-much-wine day to all my friends.🍗🍷

Kristin Kenzy

I miss the days when I didn't have to come up with a catchy one-liner for LinkedIn.

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Here's your Friday "f*ck around and find out"...

(Maybe I should make this a regular segment?)

I've spent well over $25k over the years at Raymour & Flanigan Furniture and Mattresses. Why? Because their products and service were always reliable. They're my go-to.

Last week, I was browsing Raymour & Flanigan Furniture and Mattresses's website, and stumbled upon the perfect couch for our new apartment. I bought it without hesitation.

Shortly after, I received a no-reply email giving me a delivery window for Saturday, and a number to call if I needed assistance. No worries. Saturday was perfect.

On Saturday, I received a call at the end of the delivery window from a warehouse worker saying they didn't have the couch in the warehouse, and wouldn't be able to deliver it until Thursday. No apologies. No idea what time on Thursday. And frankly, almost no English.

Whatevs. One blip in 15 years of reliability wasn't going to ruffle my feathers. I made a joke about it, and moved on.

On Monday, I called the number on my original confirmation email to get the Thursday delivery sorted. I navigated through a labyrinth of prompts, then heard relentless ringing followed by "please call back during business hours or leave a message." 

Um. It was definitely business hours. But I left a message.

No call back.

So I called again on Tuesday, and went through the same ordeal. No call back.

Right as I was about to call again on Wednesday, I received the same no-reply email with a delivery window for Thursday. I was peeved, but I could make that window work, so whatever.

Finally, that delivery window rolls around, and I get a call from the same warehouse worker saying they don't have the couch... AT ALL. So they were cancelling our order. No apologies.

Y'all -- I gave my old couch away LAST FRIDAY so I would be able to receive this delivery. I've now been couch-less for a week, and I'm having guests over tonight. I hope they like sitting on the floor.

Raymour & Flanigan Furniture and Mattresses f*cked around, and found out. 

They've lost one of their most loyal customers. And I'm a loud one. 🤦‍♀️

Couchless: A Poem

When you don't have a couch
You sit on your bed and drink coffee
While talking to your mom on the phone

And miss
Your mouth
Coffee
Everywhere

When you spill coffee in your bed
Your husband rushes to help
While (oh no) bleeding from his thumb

He doesn't
Realize it
Blood 
Everywhere

When you don't have a couch
You get coffee and blood in your bed
I hope I get a couch soon

I can't take any more of this shit

The brilliant John R. Nolan entered my life 13 years ago when we were working our tushies off to build the largest ice sports center in the world.

(Yep. For those who've only met me recently, I used to build ice rinks for a living. Cool job. 😎 )

The project (sadly) died, but I can't complain. I got a fierce mentor, advocate, and drinking buddy out of the deal.

Just an all-around-good-egg.

My ex-husband, and a bunch of other shit-posters.

Those are the beautiful souls in my "also viewed" group, and frankly, I couldn't be prouder. This is evidence of a perfectly curated community for my wtf personality here on LinkedIn. 

Thank you, all. 🥹

Alright Joybird. You're up next. 🤞 

For those who haven't been following -- my ass is permanently bruised from sitting on the floor for weeks.

We gave away our beloved 15-year-old sofa to make space for a new couch that was supposed to be delivered from Raymour & Flanigan Furniture and Mattresses the following day.

Long story short -- it WASN'T delivered, and after a week of their customer service line not even bothering to pick up or return a damn phone call, their warehouse cancelled our order. (And they STILL haven't refunded us).

So we walked over to West Elm, picked out the most expensive couch on their showroom floor, and couldn't get an employee to sell it to us. Seriously. We said "we want to buy this couch", and they just left us waiting. 

So we eventually walked out. 🤷‍♀️ 

A few months ago, before we were quite ready to buy, we peeked into a Joybird store in Philadelphia. The service was attentive, and every couch we sat on was super comfy.

So we just ordered a custom-designed sofa from their website (similar to the one pictured). The only problem is, since it's custom, it's not scheduled for delivery until the second week of January.

That's a totally reasonable timeline for a custom piece of furniture. 

But if Joybird wants to make a very stressed-out customer swoon with JOY, an expedited delivery that gets it here before Christmas would just make my heart sing. ❤️ 

And my sore bum will be soooooo relieved.

These absolute BADASSES just wrapped up the final 10-week Stealth Mastermind sprint of the year.

✔️ Books written
✔️ Podcasts published
✔️ New products launched
✔️ Business development nailed
✔️ And most importantly -- failures clarified

Now we're gonna relax and eat turkey and gear up for the first sprint of 2026 (holy shit where has this year gone??).

Love you, killers!

Alexandria Seydel, J.D., Amanda Black, Angela M., Blamah Sarnor, Jacob Stone, Jacqui Myslinski, Jason D., Katie Lukashow, Kellie Larsen, Logan Z., Maxim Cramer, Michael Jacobs, Megan Janel Zimmer, CED, Pranav Ghatraju, Tyler Cook

For those who are spending this chilly Monday obsessing over the impact of AI on humanity, I just had this conversation with Alexa:

Kristin: "Alexa, connect to Spotify."

Alexa: "Connected to Spotify." (no music plays)

Kristin: "Alexa, connect to Spotify."

Alexa "Connected to Spotify." (still no music)

Kristin: "Ugh, Alexa what's wrong?!"

Alexa: "Wrong. Adjective. First definition: not correct or true; incorrect. Second definition..." 🙄 🤣

F*ck yes, Tyler Cook.

Yesterday, a Stealth Mastermind member (not Gabe) dropped a Black Friday question in our Slack. And Tyler leapt in to provide a detailed, data-backed, step-by-step solution.

Not only is he brilliant, he's the world's nicest guy.

Go get yourself a Tyler for Christmas.

Here's your weekly "f*ck around and find out" Friday story!

(Back by popular demand.)

Have you ever had a founder outright LIE to your face? 

I'm going through this right now. Like... in this very moment. I currently have a stomach ache over this shit.

And since we're in the thick of it, I can't use names quite yet, but trust me, they have F*CKED AROUND AND WILL BE FINDING OUT in due time.

But here's the general situation...

I invested in a company a few years ago with an absolutely killer product, and even better founding team. I've been a huge fan of the founding product designer for -I kid you not- 30 years. 

It all went downhill almost immediately because the founding team just couldn't get along. (That's a whole 'nother story, and not what I'm here to talk about today.)

So I recently got on a call with one of the founders who wanted to "reassure" me that everything is still moving forward, and the company isn't dead. As part of that pep talk he excitedly told me about a new partnership they had in the bag.

He had no idea that I am very close to the company he was claiming they were partnering with. They're a former client of mine, and it's far from a secret that we worked together extensively.

And that company has never heard of him. 🤦‍♀️ 

If you're gonna spout lies, you should probably know who you're lying to.
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And if you want more chaotic stories about the absurd world of work, subscribe (for free) to my newsletter, Drunk Business Advice. Hit "view my newsletter" under my name, and join the party. 👊

Writing a newsletter is the best f*cking habit I've ever adopted.

When you have a newsletter habit, you have a:

-Writing habit
-Reflection habit
-Research habit
-Publishing habit
-Creative habit
-Curiosity habit

But most importantly, you have a habit that attracts BADASS OPPORTUNITIES (and people) into your life.

So let this be the kick-in-the-butt you need. (Butt-kicking is one of my greatest strengths btw, so it's a good one.)

And if you're not subscribed to MY newsletter, Drunk Business Advice, why the hell not? It's free. Click "view my newsletter" under my name.

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