Connector of Talent and Success 💼 | Empowering Businesses to Thrive through People | Culture Growth Strategist | Coach | Writer | HR leader | #1 LinkedIn Belgium | Top #150 LinkedIn 🌍

Who I help: Ambitious introverts and people-first companies

Problems: Visibility without burnout, quiet leadership, culture that enables deep work

Outcomes: Promotions, role transitions, retention, high-trust cultures

STRATEGIC HR LEADER AND COACH WITH HANDS-ON APPROACH AIMING FOR THE BEST EMPLOYEE/BUSINESS EXPERIENCE - INTROVERT ADVOCATE

International HR Executive passionate about the link between employee experience and business dynamics. Combining a strong focus on strategic thinking and planning with a structured and factual hands-on approach. A positive well connected team coach with a natural sense of empowering team members in a spirit of challenge, learning and mutual recognition. Sound decision making capabilities based on critical reflections within companies focusing on innovation, change, digital transformation and learning.

A. Group HR Director Alter Pharma (200 FTE - BE/IRL/US) – private equity backed firm defining & implementing HR strategy (from strategy to operations) including definition of mission/vision/strategy & values.
B. Global HR Business Partner BU Kerley international/Tessenderlo Group (+/-300 employees - 11 countries) developing/transforming key HR processes (talent resource planning, talent acquisition, performance management, competency management, learning, reward,..) - HR project lead new factory Rouen, France. 
C. Global HR Executive SWIFT (+/- 3.000 employees in +25 countries) transforming/coaching business and HR into new ways of (digital) working/thinking to improve the employee and business experience 
D. Global Head of Reward Tessenderlo Group (+/- 5.000 employees in +25 countries) - strategic development/transformation reward strategy
E. Development new holistic performance management framework for Tessenderlo Group, including full implementation recognition stream.
F. HR Project Manager : move of the Chiquita EME Headquarters from Belgium to Switzerland (social plan negotiations, c&b setup, recruitment, mobility, new policy/process design,...)

Professional coaching certification Better Minds at Work               2018 - 2019
Centre for Creative Leadership - senior leadership program           Q1-2 2018
Management Development Programme Vlerick (17 days)		  2010 - 2011
Strategic Compensation & Benefits Management, Vlerick 		  2007      
Master degree in Law&Taxation, Katholieke Universiteit Leuven    1997 - 1998

Steven Claes

She had the highest retention in the company.
They passed her over twice.

The feedback? "Needs more presence in leadership meetings."

But when I dug deeper:
→ Her teams stayed longer than anyone else's
→ Her projects delivered early, consistently
→ Her cross-functional relationships were the strongest in the division

She wasn't lacking presence. The organization hadn't learned to recognize her kind of leadership yet.

I've watched this play out for 20 years as a CHRO.

The quiet leader gets labeled "not a team player." The thoughtful contributor gets told to "speak up more." The one who needs processing time gets dinged for lacking executive presence.

Meanwhile, they're the ones noticing what everyone else missed. Thinking three steps ahead while others are still talking through step one. Building relationships that actually matter instead of collecting business cards.

We're not shy. We're not stuck up.
We're listening. Observing. Taking it in before we speak.

And if an introvert opens up to you? Know that trust was carefully given.

Your way of showing up isn't wrong. It's just different, and often exactly what your team needs.

📩 Daily success as an introvert? These are the techniques I swear by: 
https://lnkd.in/eSdKpkMs

🔁 Know an underrated introvert? Repost this to remind them they’re not alone.

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CHRO | Introvert Advocate | Career Growth for Ambitious Introverts | HR Leadership Coach | Writer | Newsletter: The A+ Introvert (60% Open Rate)

Your workplace was not designed for you.

Not if you're an introvert.
And no one wants to talk about it.

You have no idea what storms people are walking through. But for introverts, the workplace often adds to the storm instead of offering shelter.

Every day you're fighting a quiet battle.
Meetings that drain you.
Open plans that scatter your focus.
The constant pressure to "be more visible."

You just want to do good work without exhausting yourself.

The truth is most introverts are walking through storms alone. And no one sees it.
➟ They deliver excellent work, then watch someone louder get the credit
➟ Back-to-back meetings leave zero time to recover
➟ They hear "speak up more" when their strength is thoughtful contribution

Ping pong tables and pizza Fridays?
Nice. But they do not fix what's actually draining you.

"Be more visible" and "network more"?
That advice ignores how introverts actually build influence.

What introverts need to do their best work:
✅ Leaders who value depth over volume
✅ Recognition for written work, not just who speaks loudest in meetings
✅ Meeting-free blocks for actual focus time
✅ Permission to recharge without feeling guilty about it
✅ Career paths that do not require constant performance
✅ Time for thoughtful processing before decisions
✅ Cultures where reflection counts as much as quick reaction

This is what makes introverts want to stay.
A workplace that honours different strengths.
That recognises quiet confidence.
Where people succeed without burning out by Tuesday.

What is ONE thing your workplace does (or does not do) that makes the biggest difference for you?

🔁 Repost this if you want to support introverts in your network.
📩 My weekly A+Introvert Newsletter → see profile 👆 or featured section

They said I was too much.
Turns out they were too limited.

A brilliant CHRO told me recently: "Steven, I've spent 15 years toning down my opinions, holding back, pretending shallow conversations were enough when depth is all I've ever craved."

I understood immediately.

I've lived it too.

Softened my directness to seem "diplomatic."
Smoothed my edges to appear "approachable."
Pretended small talk satisfied me when I was hungry for real connection.

And I ended up feeling like an outsider.

Because I WAS an outsider in places where I'd shrunk myself just to belong.

The pond people have labeled me:

→ Too quiet (meaning: you're hard to read, and that unsettles me)
→ Too direct (meaning: you skip the performance, and I can't handle that)
→ Too intense (meaning: you make me think, and I'd rather not)
→ Too ambitious the "wrong way" (meaning: you chase impact, not just visibility)

But two decades as a CHRO taught me this: Every time you shrink yourself, you train people to expect less from you.

When you're constantly making yourself smaller:
→ You attract relationships that require you to stay small
→ You master the art of being less than you are
→ You construct a career that fits everyone but you

I once believed the introvert advantage meant networking like an extrovert. Speaking louder. Being more visible.

I was wrong.

The true advantage? Recognizing that your need for substance IS your value.

When I stopped apologizing for choosing depth over surface, everything shifted.

1️⃣ You stop dimming your light so others feel comfortable in their mediocrity.

2️⃣ You surround yourself with people who see your intensity as integrity.

3️⃣ You discover your tribe. The ones who view thoughtfulness as strength, not a flaw to fix.

The teams needing someone to navigate complexity? They relied on me.
The cultures hungry for authentic leadership? They found me.

But only because I showed up fully. Not the diluted version.

Not everyone can handle you at full strength.
That's not yours to fix.

The people meant for you? They'll swim out to meet you in deep water, even if it scares them.

The rest will stay on shore, insisting the ocean is "too much."

Let them.

If you're an ocean, stop shrinking yourself into a pond.

If you're built for depth, you don't have a career problem.
You have a boundary problem.

The moment you address that, everything transforms.

As 2026 starts: Which boundary will you finally protect in the year ahead?

💾 Save this & ♻️ share if you're an ocean refusing to become a pond

📩 Join Weekly depth in The A+Introvert Newsletter: https://lnkd.in/e7xQPNtn

Years ago, I watched HR let someone go for being "too quiet."
I was once that quiet person too.

The official reasoning?
"Lacks energy."
"Not aligned with our culture."

But after twenty years leading teams, I've learned what genuine enthusiasm actually looks like:

Arrives prepared.
Delivers excellent work.
Communicates with clarity.
Elevates others.

That's what deserves recognition.

Yet too many organizations still reward:
• Volume over substance
• Reaction over reflection
• Perception over results

I've been in those performance conversations.
I've read the carefully worded feedback.
I've watched exceptional people walk away because they weren't loud enough.

Excellence doesn't require a spotlight.
Impact doesn't demand a stage.
Results outweigh small talk every time.

We get it wrong when we:
• Label quiet as a weakness
• Treat extroversion as the culture standard
• Mistake personality for capability

Genuine enthusiasm shows up as:
✓ Reliability
✓ Craftsmanship
✓ Steady presence
✓ Measurable impact

The strongest teams don't pick between energy and depth.
They embrace both.

They need you. Whether quiet or loud.

Stop penalizing quiet excellence.
Start tracking what actually matters.

As we step into 2026: What will you measure differently this year?

💾 Save this & ♻️ share if you believe quiet work deserves loud recognition

📩 Weekly insights for ambitious introverts in The A+Introvert Newsletter: https://lnkd.in/e7xQPNtn

"Don't fall in love with success. Fall in love with the habits that bring success."

That would've saved me years.

Twenty years ago, I was the ambitious introvert.
Crushing tasks. Exceeding targets. Getting nowhere.

Then my mentor pulled me aside.
"You're winning battles. But you're losing the war."

I was working harder than anyone else in the room.
But I was still invisible.

Success is borrowed. Habits are owned.

The project you deliver? That's success.
The deep work that made it brilliant? That's a habit.

The recognition you earn? Success.
The daily rituals that keep you going? Habit.

Chase success without habits, and you're building a career on sand.
Build the right habits, and success has no choice but to follow.

Quiet leaders who last do not fall in love with the spotlight.
They fall in love with:

⏰ Morning routines that protect their energy
🚫 Calendar blocks that make space for focused work
🤔 Time for reflection that sharpens judgment
📚 Reading habits that widen perspective
🛡️Boundaries that preserve their sanity

Promotions can be delayed.
Bonuses can be cut.
Recognition can be missed.

But habits?
They compound.
They decide who you become.

The introvert's edge isn't volume.
It's systems that keep working when the noise fades.
__________
Repost if you're done proving yourself and ready to build yourself

I built some tools for Introverts around exactly this. https://lnkd.in/eSdKpkMs

Mohit Valecha 🧢

They told me to fix my introversion.
I redesigned my environment instead.

As one year ends and another begins, this feels worth repeating:

We're introverts. Not broken. Just wired differently.

I spent two decades as a CHRO watching the same cycle repeat.
The loudest voices got attention while the deepest thinkers got overlooked.

Quick reactions earned praise. Thoughtful strategies got buried in the noise.

That's when it clicked.

We don't compete on volume. We compete on depth.

We form fewer bonds but stronger ones.
Not because we struggle to connect widely, but because we choose connection intentionally.

We restore in stillness.
We discover power in pause.

This isn't weakness. It's strategy.

We're not hiding or hesitant.
We're preserving our energy for what truly matters.

The data confirms what we've always sensed:

• Introverted leaders achieve significantly higher team retention because we listen more than we speak
• We excel in complex problem-solving because we reflect before we act
• Our deep work generates far more innovation because we prioritize substance over speed

Depth outperforms width. Always.

What I want you to understand:

➡️ Your need for constant stimulation isn't our burden.
➡️ Your discomfort with silence isn't our crisis.
➡️ And your definition of success isn't our roadmap.

If we let you in, you've earned it.

Not through persistence or pressure,
but through respect.
Through substance.
Through recognizing that our boundaries aren't walls. They're filters.

➡️ We're not antisocial. We're selectively social.
➡️ We're not slow. We're thorough.
➡️ We're not cold. We're intentional.

In a world drowning in noise, that's not a limitation.

That's an edge.

Stop trying to fix us. We were never broken.

As you step into 2026: What boundary will you protect to honor your energy this year?

💾 Save this & ♻️ share it if you're proudly wired differently

📩 Start the new year with one insight per week in The A+Introvert Newsletter: https://lnkd.in/e7xQPNtn

Networking like an extrovert nearly cost me everything.

More events.
More coffee chats.
More small talk with people I'd never see again.

I thought more connections meant more opportunities.

I was wrong.

What I actually built was exhaustion.
And a contact list full of people I barely remembered.

When I finally dropped that belief, everything changed.

I stopped chasing quantity.
Started protecting my energy.
Invested in fewer people, went way deeper with each one.

The networking events I skipped?
Cost me nothing.

The shallow connections I let go?
Made room for the ones I actually need.

After 20 years as a CHRO, I've watched too many introverts burn out trying to play the extrovert game.

The ones who thrive?

They stop forcing what drains them.
They build their network around how they actually work best.

This weekend, try this:

→ Text one person who genuinely energises you. No agenda. Just checking in.
→ Say no to one thing you were going to push yourself through.
→ Spend 10 minutes in stillness. Introverts don't recharge in crowds. They recharge in quiet.

Letting go of the wrong approach is not giving up.
It's making space for the right one.

What's one thing you're letting go of this weekend?

💚 Happy Friday, friends.

♻️ Repost if you believe success should never require self-erasure.

💌 I write the A+ Introvert Newsletter. Weekly insights for introverts who lead quietly and build deeply. No fluff, ever.→https://lnkd.in/e2Yn259g

The fastest way to lose your best people?
Oversee every decision they make.

You didn't bring in talented minds to monitor them.
You brought them in to lead, solve, and deliver.

But the moment trust disappears:
→ Motivation drops
→ Creativity freezes
→ They quietly start exploring options

🚨 Micromanagement damages more than output.

It corrodes culture from the inside.

What it actually does to your team:

• Drives your strongest performers toward the exit
• Creates resentment simmering under the surface
• Shuts down creativity before it starts
• Produces stress, then exhaustion
• Delays every single decision
• Swaps clarity for anxiety
• Fractures trust
• Kills loyalty
• Breeds fear

Now flip the approach.

When you choose trust over control:

✅ Energy rises
✅ Ideas start flowing
✅ Teams gain momentum
✅ Ownership begins to multiply
✅ Your culture becomes a magnet for talent
✅ Collaboration happens naturally and consistently

Great leadership isn't about oversight.
It's about belief.

Hire well.
Point the direction.
Then get out of the way.

As we head into 2026, a reflection worth carrying into the new year.

💾 Save this & ♻️ share it with a leader who could use the reminder

📩 Weekly leadership insights in The A+Introvert Newsletter: see link in my profile

Stop trying to fix introverts.

In 20 years as an HR leader, I’ve seen companies burn millions trying to turn quiet leaders into loud ones.

It doesn’t work. It pushes your best people out the door.

What introverts need is not what most managers think.

⬇️ Swipe through to see the difference.

💾 Save/Share this before your next 1:1.

📩 Join the Free A+Introvert Newsletter for weekly bite-sized career tips → https://lnkd.in/e7xQPNtn

What Workplaces Think Introverts Need (vs What We Need)

Kind leaders aren't weak.
They're strategic.

After 20+ years in HR, here's what the data actually shows about leading with kindness. And where most leaders miss the mark.

1. Balanced Care
✅ Caring for yourself to better care for others
❌ Self-sacrificing until you're drained
→ Well-rested leaders build teams with far less burnout.

2. Presence
✅ Creating safety through focused attention
❌ Avoiding hard conversations to stay "nice"
→ When people feel seen, oxytocin rises. Trust rewires.

3. Smart Support
✅ Challenging people to grow
❌ Solving their problems for them
→ Support without stretch weakens resilience on both sides.

4. Real Understanding
✅ Leading through shared experience
❌ Preaching from a pedestal
→ Empathy builds trust at a neurological level.

5. True Giving
✅ Acting from genuine generosity
❌ Helping out of guilt or pressure
→ Authentic kindness creates far deeper engagement than obligation.

6. Energy Boundaries
✅ Saying no to protect your yes
❌ Burning out through constant availability
→ Clear limits amplify leadership effectiveness.

7. Simple Truths
✅ Building trust through small, daily actions
❌ Relying on big gestures to fix gaps
→ Consistency compounds into culture.

8. Brain Chemistry
✅ Driving positive reactions through follow-through
❌ Using "kind" words without action
→ Kindness reshapes stress, performance, and trust.

The bottom line:
Kindness isn't softness.
It's a performance multiplier.

Which one made you rethink how you lead?

💾 Save this & ♻️ share it with a leader who needs to see this

Introverts don't need fixing.
Your workplace culture does.

For 20 years, I watched companies try to "improve" their introverted employees.

They sent them to presentation skills workshops.
They placed them in open office layouts.
They nudged them toward noisy networking events.

But they missed what really needed changing.

Meeting norms that reward the loudest voice.
Brainstorms that drown out deep thinkers.
"Collaboration" that looks more like constant interruption.

When I was 32, a VP pulled me aside.
"You're too quiet. That'll hurt your career."

So I tried to become louder.
More visible.
More like everyone else.

Eventually I realized something important.

I wasn't the problem.
The environment was.

Today I'm a CHRO.
Still quiet.
Still thriving.

Not because I changed who I am,
but because I focused on changing the system.

If you're doing this:
❌ Telling introverts to speak up more
❌ Requiring constant collaboration
❌ Assuming quiet means disengaged
❌ Defining culture through happy hours
❌ Rewarding visibility over value

Try this instead:
✅ Send agendas in advance so they can prepare
✅ Start meetings with quiet time for written input
✅ Offer multiple ways to contribute, not just talking
✅ Create quiet zones for focused work
✅ Recognize the impact, not just who talks the most

The most innovative companies don't try to fix introverts.
They build environments where introverts can shine.

Quiet-friendly cultures boost productivity.
Written brainstorming surfaces better ideas.
And your next big idea might be sitting silently in the corner.

The companies losing top talent right now?
They're still trying to make introverts louder.

The ones winning?
They're creating spaces where every style can thrive.

If someone seems too quiet,
maybe the system is too noisy.

Stop trying to change them.
Start changing what's actually not working.

Because a culture that works for introverts
works better for everyone.

💬 What's one small change that could make your workplace more inclusive for quieter thinkers?

♻️ Share if you believe quiet leadership deserves more respect

📩 Join 100K+ ambitious introverts who get free weekly career tips: https://lnkd.in/e7xQPNtn

Introverts aren't broken.
They're built differently.

This isn't opinion.
It's neuroscience.

Swipe through the data:
10 slides. 1 perspective shift. 👇

What resonates most?

Mine is Slide 5.
(The leadership stat changed everything for me.)

What's yours?

💾 Save this & ♻️ share it with an introvert who needs to see the science

📩 Want more like this? Subscribe to The A+Introvert newsletter (link in profile)

Your Brain On Introvert Mode (the shocking truth)

Burnout isn't about working too hard.
It's about pretending too much.

For introverts, the real crisis is not the workload.
It's performing extroversion 40 hours a week.

7 signs you're burning out from the performance:

1️⃣ Hiding in your car between meetings. 
→ This is not odd. It's survival mode.

2️⃣ "I'm fine!" when you're clearly not. 
→ The mask stays on. Always.

3️⃣ Your best work happens after everyone leaves. 
→ Because finally, you can stop performing.

4️⃣ Sunday night dread about people, not tasks. 
→ Your nervous system already knows what Monday brings.

5️⃣ Social battery dies by Tuesday. 
→ You're not weak. You're drained from acting all day.

6️⃣ Calls drain you more than the actual work. 
→ It's not the content. It's the constant "on" that kills you.

7️⃣ Recovery takes the whole weekend. 
→ Two days to recover from five is not a sustainable equation.

After 20 years in HR, I've watched this pattern destroy talented people.
Not because they weren't strong.
Because they were never given permission to stop pretending.

What helps (for you):
→ Block 10 minutes between meetings. Non-negotiable.
→ Replace one call with async. Protect your voice.
→ Batch high-contact tasks on specific days. Guard one deep-work block.
→ Stop apologizing for needing quiet to think.

What workplaces need to change:
→ Create meeting-free blocks for real work.
→ Default one weekly update to async instead of live.
→ Train managers to lead introverts: advance agendas, written input options.
→ Design offices with actual quiet spaces, not just open-plan buzz.

Your energy is real.
Your limits are legitimate.
Your need for space is not weakness.
It's wiring.

Which sign hit closest to home?

♻️ Repost to help introverts burning out in silence.

💌 Want to thrive without burning out: https://lnkd.in/eSdKpkMs

Being "always available" destroyed my best work.

My sharpest thinking happened at 6am before anyone could reach me.
My worst decisions came from back-to-back calls with no space to process.

For years I wore it like a badge of honor.
Responding within minutes.
Never missing a meeting.
Always on.

As a CHRO, I thought that's what leadership looked like.

I was wrong.

7 truths about introvert productivity:

🔋 90 uninterrupted minutes beat all-day availability
Research shows it takes 23 minutes to regain focus after an interruption.
This is where real work happens.
Not in constant collaboration.

🔋 Transition time is not optional
15 minutes between meetings to reset is not luxury.
It's how your brain works.

🔋 Alone time is strategic
Your brain recharges in quiet, not chaos.
Biology, not antisocial behavior.

🔋 Saying no is a productivity strategy
Three meetings with real substance beat twelve status updates.

🔋 Email beats video calls for most things
Async communication protects time for work that actually matters.

🔋 Morning energy is sacred
Give your peak hours to hard thinking.
Not admin.

🔋 Your calendar should reflect your nervous system
Not everyone else's expectations.

Productivity is not about doing more.
It's about protecting your energy for what actually matters.

♻️ Repost for the introvert doing real work after everyone leaves
📩 Weekly introvert career insights → https://lnkd.in/e2Yn259g

Stop forcing yourself to be "on" all day.

Your boss sees quiet.
Your close team sees hilarious.

Your network sees reserved.
Your best friend? Sees you acting like an extrovert.

And here's the thing.
Everyone holds a different version of you.
That is not broken. That is strategic.

➡️ When you are around people who give you energy, you show up fully. 
➡️ When you are around strangers or high-stakes rooms, your battery drains faster than you'd like.

This is not two people.
This is one person with limited energy making intentional choices about where to spend it.

Most introverts sabotage themselves trying to be the same everywhere.

So they either:
➡️ Exhaust themselves performing for everyone
➡️ Hide completely and wonder why nobody knows what they can do

Here is the breakthrough:

➡️ Stop trying to be consistent.
➡️ Start being intentional.

You are not broken because you go quiet at a conference.
➠ You are smart because you know the return on your energy investment.

You are not unfriendly because you skip happy hour.
➠ You are protecting your ability to show up fully in the meetings that actually matter.

You do not need to be the same version in every room.
You need to decide which rooms deserve your full energy.

What is one event or meeting you are going to skip this week, guilt-free?

♻️ Repost this for the introvert who needs permission to stop performing

Quiet leaders rarely get the spotlight.
But research from Harvard shows they lift team performance by 28% when their people take initiative.

As an introverted CHRO, I've witnessed what calm, focused leadership can achieve.

🔴 When introverts feel forced to act loud:
❌ Chasing visibility over substance
❌ Rushing decisions to appear confident
❌ Talking more, absorbing less
❌ Building wide networks without real connection
❌ Reacting quickly and missing the deeper point
❌ Filling silence because it feels uncomfortable
❌ Offering fast answers to seem sharp
❌ Prioritizing attention over understanding
❌ Overlooking signals from the team
❌ Burning out from playing a character

The cost adds up.
Leaders lose their sharpness.
Innovation stalls.
Morale fades.

That's not leadership. That's performance.

🟢 When introverts lead on their own terms:
✅ Staying grounded and leading with presence
✅ Deciding with clarity, not speed
✅ Listening before responding
✅ Cultivating deep trust
✅ Thinking first, acting second
✅ Leveraging silence strategically
✅ Making room for others to contribute
✅ Catching what others miss
✅ Remaining steady when pressure rises

This approach works.
Teams flourish.
Voices emerge.
Outcomes improve.

Extroverts bring momentum.
Introverts bring depth.
Both are essential.
But quiet leadership still gets undervalued.

I've led this way for two decades.
It works because it's real.

💾 Save this & ♻️ share it to remind others that quiet leaders belong at the table

📩 One introvert career insight per week in The A+Introvert Newsletter: https://lnkd.in/e2Yn259g

We promote the loudest voice.
Then wonder why teams burn out.

I've spent 20 years in leadership.
And I've watched brilliant introverts get overlooked again and again.

They didn't fall short.
They quietly pulled ahead.

Harvard and Wharton research tells us something most companies ignore. Introverted leaders drive:
➜ 28% higher productivity
➜ 84% more engagement
➜ 50% lower turnover

So why do we still mistake quiet for weak?

Because we've built systems that reward volume over value.
Visibility over results.
Performance over substance.

This carousel breaks down:
➜ What the data really says
➜ Why introverts make elite leaders
➜ How to lead with quiet confidence

The quiet ones in your meeting today?

They're not disengaged.
They're processing at a level most leaders never reach.

💾 Save this for your next leadership conversation.
♻️ Share if your culture still mistakes noise for leadership.

Your Team Thinks Quiet Means Weak (The Data Disagrees)

I stayed quiet in meetings for years.

Then one CEO told me:
"When you speak, I know it matters."

I'd spent years thinking my silence was a liability.
Turns out it was my edge.

Most communication advice for introverts?
"Just speak up more."

But more communication does not equal better communication.

⬇️ Swipe to learn how introverts turn quiet into influence.

💾 Save & repost this before your next meeting.
📩 Get my newsletter The A+ Introvert → link in carousel last page

Stop Apologizing For Not Speaking Up Immediately (Really)

Last year I collapsed on December 26th.
This year? I said no to three Christmas gatherings.

For years, I treated December like a survival marathon:
Every party. Every dinner. Every "quick drink" that drained three hours of energy.

I was everywhere. Present nowhere.

This year, I'm doing something radical for an introvert who spent 20 years performing "fine."

I'm protecting my energy like it actually matters.

—

What I'm DOUBLING DOWN on:

→ Strategic presence over constant visibility
2 gatherings. Inner circle only.
3-hour windows with recovery time. Not 6 events in 4 days.

→ Micro-recharge moments
Even during events, I step out.
10 minutes. Fresh air. Reset.

→ Saying no without guilt
"I'd love to, but I'm protecting my energy so I can show up fully where it matters."

—

What I'm STOPPING:

→ Showing up just to be seen
Exhaustion isn't a love language. Presence is.

→ Socializing out of obligation
If it's a "should," it's a no.

→ The myth of the holiday hero
They don't need me everywhere.
They need me present. Not performing.

—

Your energy isn't infinite.
Protecting it isn't selfish.
It's strategic.

What's one event you're skipping to protect your peace this season?

♻️ Share this with an introvert who needs this reminder.
🎄 Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating.

Happy New Year to the ones who did not make a highlight reel.

The ones who didn't launch the side hustle.
The ones who skipped the grind to protect their peace.
The ones who chose silence over sprints.

After 20 years in HR, I saw the same pattern every January 1.

Loud success gets rewarded.
Quiet progress gets overlooked.

If you didn't broadcast your wins, they didn't count.
If you took your time, you were "slow."

But here is what performance reviews still don't measure:

↳ The anxiety you carried into every meeting.
↳ The boundaries that protected your energy.
↳ The one hard conversation you finally had.
↳ The quiet leadership that changed someone's year.

If you ended 2025 exhausted instead of celebrated, this is for you.

You don't need a "New Year, New You."
You need more you.

↳ More aligned decisions.
↳ More intentional no's.
↳ More places that fit your nervous system.

In 2026, the goal is not to be louder.
It is to be truer.

You are not behind.
You are playing a game that was never built for you.

This year, build your own.

Happy New Year.

You as you are is enough to build on.

♻️ Know an introvert who needs this? Pass it on.

I bring engineers, innovation teams, and leaders from disengaged to thriving - DM me if this is you 🐲 Techie, Liberator, Complexity Buster, Motivator, Engineering Director @ Novoda

I’m an Engineering Leader, Leadership Strategist, and author dedicated to helping technical minds grow into confident, value-driven leaders who create meaningful impact.

I’ve spent 15+ years leading engineering teams across Europe, from Senior Engineering Manager to Director, guiding organizations through scaling, transitions, architecture evolution, culture change, and cross-team collaboration. My approach blends deep technical experience with psychology, values-based leadership, and neurodiversity-informed insight.

Alongside my engineering leadership work, I founded Avagasso Coaching and wrote The Leadership Leap and Breath of the Dragon to translate the human side of engineering into practical, empowering tools. Through my programs, writing, and mentoring, I help engineers, managers, and innovation teams lead with clarity, courage, autonomy, and integrity.

Through Avagasso, I support organizations with:
💚 Engineering leadership development
🔥 Leadership mentoring for new and emerging leaders
🐉 Team culture, motivation, and communication
💎 Values-driven conflict navigation and trust-building
🪽 Neurodiversity-aware leadership practices

In addition to my engineering leadership role, I take on select consulting engagements related to leadership development, engineering culture, and team transformation.

If you’re passionate about building high-trust, high-impact teams or developing leaders who can navigate complexity with courage and humanity, I’d love to connect.

www.sarahgruneisen.com
www.avagasso.com


Sarah G.

Unfortunately, my time at Last Mile Solutions has come to an end.
Due to a restructuring of the engineering department, my position was made redundant.

I am therefore immediately available and open to work.

I’m pleased to share that I am leaving with a letter of recommendation, which can be made available upon request. I wish the company well and look forward to staying in touch. I will be following its next steps with interest.

⸻

What I’m looking for next

I’m looking for a long-term leadership role, Sr. Engineering Manager, Head of Engineering, or Director level (in the Netherlands or remote).

I work best in environments where human leadership capabilities are treated as core engineering competencies, not as “soft” extras.

That includes:
💚 Trust, autonomy, and psychological safety as foundations for quality
💚 Clear direction, well-defined boundaries, and shared accountability, because autonomy works best when expectations are explicit
💚 A sustainable delivery pace that supports quality and long-term outcomes
💚 A shared understanding that scaling means improving systems, clarity, and flow, not just adding people
💚 Strong collaboration between engineering, data, and business
💚 Focus on organizational impact, not just local optimization

⸻

What I bring

I’m a leader of leaders, with 20+ years in software engineering and 15+ years in engineering leadership.

I’m known for reducing complexity and unlocking motivation, across technical systems, organizations, and people.

I work with what I often describe as a golden/red thread:
ensuring strategy, values, systems, and day-to-day engineering decisions stay meaningfully connected. When that threads are clear, teams don’t need heavy control, they understand why their work matters, what value it creates, and how to make good decisions within clear boundaries and accountability.

A key part of my expertise is helping technical teams translate their needs, constraints, and ideas into business value, without forcing everything into artificial customer-facing narratives.

I don’t believe in a 50% tech / 50% product split.
I believe in 100% business value, delivered through technology and product, each measured in ways that fit their nature. Too often, engineering work is undervalued not because it lacks impact, but because it is explained in the wrong language. I help teams bridge that gap so essential work is understood, prioritized, and trusted.

Not all important engineering work produces immediate functional features. Work such as lifecycle management, platform health, reliability, and security creates value through efficiency, risk reduction, continuity, and long-term trust. For example, lifecycle management may not add a new feature, but neglecting it introduces security and operational risks that can lead to service disruption, reputational damage, and ultimately customer loss. …

( 💎 rest in comment below including my philosophy and a kind request to forward this message )

Sarah Gruneisen 🐉

Head of Engineering | Scaling Leaders, Teams & Sustainable Impact

No alternative text description for this image

49% off for 49 hours.
It’s my birthday!

Today I turn 49.

To mark the moment:
49% off for 49 hours.

🔥 My book, The Leadership Leap, illustrated version, code 4949491

https://lnkd.in/eQTSkk7K

❤️‍🔥 Leadership Landing Program (Q4 2026), code 4949492

https://lnkd.in/eMhJ2m6f

Thank you for being part of this journey.
💚🐉

Head of Engineering | Scaling Leaders, Teams & Sustainable Impact | Remote-First

A gentle weekend blessing for the season between endings and beginnings

💚 As this year softens into its final days, may you allow yourself to pause.

Not to judge what was unfinished, but to notice what you carried, survived, and learned.

🔥 May you release the weight of chasing people, places, or paths that required you to disappear to belong.

Let effort become mutual again.

🐲 As a new year opens its quiet door, may you choose to be where you are chosen.

May you invest your time, care, and energy in those who show up, not perfectly, but honestly.


❤️‍🔥 May you stop explaining your worth to rooms that refuse to listen.

And may you recognize devotion not by words, but by presence.


💪🏿 May 2026 meet you a little softer, a little braver, a little more anchored in yourself.

Not because life suddenly becomes easy, but because you decide to stand where love, respect, and reciprocity already live.


💚 Here’s to being there for people who choose to be there for you.

And to choosing yourself, gently, again and again.

You can be strong, capable, and disciplined and still be climbing the wrong mountain.

Most people assume that if something feels hard, the answer is more effort.
More grit.
More endurance.

But there is a different kind of exhaustion, the kind that doesn’t come from lack of skill, but from forcing yourself to adapt to a terrain that was never designed for you.

In a recent conversation with Sandra Dost, she named something many leaders feel but rarely articulate: we follow society’s standards, keep running with them, and one day realize we’ve been climbing a mountain we never consciously chose.

What made her insight deeper was this: the struggle wasn’t just about values or career direction. It was about fit, including neurological fit.

Some environments reward speed, constant output, and instant answers.
Others require reflection, pauses, and depth.
When the climb demands that you override how your mind works, the problem isn’t you.

As Sandra began reconnecting with her core values, something else softened alongside it, her relationship with herself. When her thoughts paused, she no longer rushed or judged. She named it. She took space. She stayed calm.

That self-acceptance changed how she could see the path.

You don’t recognize the wrong mountain while you’re busy blaming yourself for struggling on it.

Switching mountains isn’t quitting.
It’s discernment.
It’s choosing a terrain where your values, pace, and way of thinking can finally belong, without self-abandonment.

I wrote the full reflection here, weaving together direction, self-acceptance, and leadership in a way that feels deeply human:
👉 https://lnkd.in/eNNJW3BZ

If this resonates, I’ll leave you with one quiet question:

Where might you be pushing harder, when what’s actually needed is a different ascent?

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