NYT Bestselling Author of The 5 Types of Wealth

Sahil Bloom is the New York Times Bestselling author of The 5 Types of Wealth: A Transformative Guide to Design Your Dream Life.

Sahil is an inspirational writer and entrepreneur, captivating millions of people every week through his book, social insights, and bi-weekly newsletter, The Curiosity Chronicle.

His debut non-fiction book, The 5 Types of Wealth, was an instant New York Times, USA Today, and Sunday Times Bestseller. Apple CEO Tim Cook called it "a powerful call to action to think deeply about what lights you up—and a guide for how to build a life of meaning and purpose around those things." The book is a unique blend of strategies, tactics, and actionable insights, enabling readers to make real, positive changes and lead healthier, wealthier lives.

Sahil is also an entrepreneur and owner of SRB Holdings, a personal holding company, and the Managing Partner of SRB Ventures, a $10 million venture investment firm committed to investing in and accelerating the most compelling startups in the world. Prior to launching SRB Ventures in January 2022, Sahil was an early-stage investor in 40+ startups across the technology landscape, including multiple unicorns.

Previously, Sahil spent seven years as a private equity investor and served on the board of several middle market companies during that period.

Sahil graduated from Stanford University with an M.A. in Public Policy (2014) and a B.A. in Economics & Sociology (2013). While at Stanford, he was a four-year member on the Stanford Baseball Team (2009-2013), twice helping to guide the team to NCAA Super Regional appearances (top-16 finishes). Additionally, Sahil earned two PAC-12 All-Academic Team awards and twice received the Bruce R. Cameron Memorial Award, given annually to a student-athlete exhibiting excellence in athletics, academics, and leadership. Academically, Sahil was advised in his pursuits by former Secretary of State Dr. Condoleezza Rice.

Sahil Bloom

The smartest people I know think like this.

(It pays off for a lifetime):

The most impressive people I know change their minds often in response to new information. It’s like a software update. The goal isn’t to be right. It’s to find the truth.

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NYT Bestselling Author | Entrepreneur | Investor

The biggest skill no one trains:

(Your progress depends on this)

The ability to quickly reset and recover.

From a bad interaction. From a bad day. From a missed workout. From a poor decision.

You can start over whenever you want. You can’t always control what happened, but you can control how long you carry it.

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I’m starting to believe this is the real cheat code:

Being unapologetically yourself.

When you edit your personality, you attract relationships that need constant maintenance.

Stop filtering yourself to be liked. Right ones will stick. Wrong ones will walk. That’s a blessing.

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The older I get the more I realize…

The long way is the right way.

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The Djokovic Rule:

Do you like hitting the ball?

In 2015, Novak Djokovic was asked what drives his success.

His answer wasn’t complicated:

“I can carry on playing at this level because I like hitting the tennis ball.”

A few years later, I felt the same lesson in real life.

I was having breakfast with Tim Cook and he walked me through his daily routine:

3:45am alarm.
Critical emails.
4:45am workout.
Then a jam packed day at the office.

And the entire time, he had this glint in his eye.

A day that would make most people’s head spin was lighting him up.

I remember thinking one clear thought:

Good luck competing against this guy.

Tim likes hitting the ball.

Then I looked around and noticed something uncomfortable:

Other people had that same glint for the work I dreaded.

And it clicked:

I’ll never be one of the best at this over the long term…
Because I don’t like hitting the ball.

That’s the Djokovic Rule.

Not “Are you good at it?”
Not “Can you tolerate it?”
Not “Does it pay well?”

Just one question:

Do you like the core, repetitive actions the work is made of?
Do the mundane parts feel weirdly satisfying?
Do you feel energized on Monday… because you get to do the thing?

If not, you may still succeed.
You may do well.
You may even do great in the short term.

But over a long enough timeline, it’s almost impossible to beat someone who genuinely enjoys the work itself.

And when you find that thing, I’ll say the same thing I said about Tim:

Good luck to anyone trying to compete with you.

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The Djokovic Rule - Do you like hitting the ball?

Nobody is thinking about you.

So, go do the damn thing.

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The #1 golfer in the world just exposed a brutal truth:

Success won't make you happy.

Scottie Scheffler admitted that winning major championships no longer fulfills him.

He discovered what Jim Carrey tried to warn us about: "I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer."

It's called the Arrival Fallacy—the false belief that reaching your goal will create lasting satisfaction.

We tell ourselves:
• "When I make six figures, then I'll be happy"
• "Once I get promoted, then I'll feel successful"
• "If I lose 20 pounds, then I'll feel confident"

We reach the top. We get the thing. And then? We reset to the next mountain.

There's a scene in Cool Runnings that haunts me. The coach tells his star athlete: "A gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it."

Read that again.

The truth nobody wants to hear: Happiness isn't at the top of the mountain. It's not in the having. It's in the becoming.

This week, write down your biggest goal. The thing you think will finally make you happy.

Now ask: "Who will I need to become to achieve this?"

Focus on becoming that person. Not getting that thing.

Because the person you become is the only prize you get to keep.

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Your gut is right more often than you admit.

Your mind just knows how to argue with it.

My grandfather said something I’ve carried for years:

“The worst decisions in life are made when you allow your head to talk you into something when your gut already said no.”

I’ll never forget that.

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Most people stay stuck for one reason.

They think “this is who I am.”

You can reinvent yourself as many times as you need.

New habits.
New standards.
New people.
New career.

You’re never stuck.

You’re allowed to change.

Today, tomorrow, and as many times as it takes to create the life you want.

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This is the key to life:

Show up.

My grandfather once told me that you'll achieve much more by being consistently reliable than by being occasionally extraordinary.

People who only show up when they feel like it are destined for failure at worst, mediocrity at best.

So, show up.

Show up when it’s hard. Show up when it’s messy. Show up when no one’s watching. Show up when you don't feel like it. Show up when the rewards are uncertain. Just show up.

You can never bet against the person who just keeps showing up.

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I just turned 35 years old.

Here are 35 life lessons from my 35 years:

1. You can reinvent yourself whenever you want.

2. Tolerance for uncertainty is the most valuable human trait.

3. Energy is the most attractive human trait.

4. Nobody cares.

5. Always get your dopamine from action.

6. Your professional success is proportional to your ability to figure it out.

7. Never let your head outsmart your gut.

8. Showing up is the key to life.

9. Fear comes from inexperience, not incapability.

10. Learn to work without validation.

11. Anything above zero compounds.

12. Take pride in finishing things.

13. Life improves when you embrace your inner extremes.

14. The most important things take a long time to build.

15. Be unapologetically yourself.

16. Do what most people avoid.

17. Life will test you with the same challenge until you learn the lesson.

18. Your standards decide your future.

19. Choose a partner you actually like being around.

20. If you want people to believe in you, start carrying yourself like someone worth believing in.

21. Don’t wait.

22. Confidence isn’t about knowing you’ll win.

23. Stress and anxiety feed on idleness.

24. Working out will rewire your brain

25. Energy fuels growth.

26. Nobody is thinking about you.

27. You have to know when to stop.

28. Do hard things every single day.

29. Reliability is more important than talent.

30. Don’t complain about anything.

31. Emotional control is the ultimate sign of personal growth.

32. You can just do things.

33. You’re going to miss this.

34. Nobody is coming to save you.

35. You’re one year of focus away from people calling you lucky.

When I was 25, I thought 35 was very old.

Now that I am 35, I have to admit, I feel young—like I’m just getting started.

I hope you saw yourself in one or more of these lessons—and I hope they spark a positive ripple in your life.

Cheers to a beautiful, hard, growth-filled year ahead.

— Sahil

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♻ Repost to remind someone: small choices compound for decades.

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35 Life Lessons From My 35 Years

This idea completely changed my life…

The Empty Boat Mindset:

Here’s a story I come back to when I’m feeling stressed or frustrated…

A monk goes out on a boat in a small lake to meditate. After a few hours of uninterrupted silence, he suddenly feels the jarring impact of another boat bumping into his.

While he does not open his eyes, he feels the irritation and anger building within him.

“Why would someone do that? Can’t they see me here? How dare they disturb my meditation?”

He opens his eyes, ready to shout at the person in the other boat, only to realize that it is empty. It had come untied from the dock and was floating in the middle of the lake.

In that moment, his anger and frustration disappears.

After all, you cannot be angry at an empty boat.

The story offers a powerful lesson, which I call the Empty Boat Mindset:

In life, you’re going to experience countless collisions. With people. With environments. With chance circumstances outside your control. Each of these collisions will threaten to derail you. To stoke the fire of anger, stress, and frustration. To knock you off your path.

The truth is that the negative emotions that grow inside you are rarely from the collision itself, but from your perception of the negative intent behind the collision.

If you convince yourself that every collision is a deliberate action by a bad actor, negative emotions will control your entire life. In others words, your interpretation of the collision creates your own poison.

The Empty Boat Mindset is the reminder that most of these collisions you experience in life are with an empty boat. There is no negative intent. There is no desire to harm. They are simply the random collisions of objects floating along on the lake of life.

Interestingly, when you embrace the Empty Boat Mindset, you reassume control over your own boat. You’re no longer prone to the spiraling emotional effects of chance collisions. You are a seasoned explorer, ready to adapt to whatever the seas throw your way.

So, the next time you feel a collision and find your negative emotions growing, pause and ask yourself a simple question:

Am I just getting angry at an empty boat?

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The Empty Boat Mindset

My honest advice to someone who feels “fine” but not fulfilled.

(I wish I knew this sooner):

I read a research paper I can’t stop thinking about.

It was titled:

“The Peculiar Longevity of Things Not So Bad.”

A Harvard and UCLA team discovered a fascinating truth:

We’re worse at escaping mild pain than deep pain.

They called it:

The Region-Beta Paradox.

If a destination is close, we walk.

If it’s far, we bike.

So paradoxically, we reach farther places faster.

This paradox applies well beyond modes of travel. 
It shows up in the most impactful realms of our lives.

The researchers ran a series of experiments to see whether our predictions of the intensity and duration of negative feelings match our experienced reality.

In one experiment, participants imagined painful life events:
→ Getting turned down for a date
→ A friend hooking up with their ex

They were asked:
How intensely would they feel the pain? How long would that pain last?

Here’s what they found:
People believed that more intense pain lasts longer.

But interestingly, this isn’t true in practice, because people respond to their circumstances.

We act quickly to resolve intensely negative or painful experiences with a series of built-in adaptive processes.

So, our predictions for how long a negative state will last are wrong:
Intense negative experiences often resolve faster than mild ones. 

Because we act, consciously or subconsciously, to resolve them.

This has a variety of meaningful implications for your life.

The 3/10 job.
The 3/10 relationship.
The 3/10 life.

Those break you open.
They force change with the intensity of pain.
You hit a threshold that activates every mechanism you have.

But the 6/10? That’s the trap of good enough.

It’s not painful enough to trigger action. So you drift. You tolerate. You wait. You stay in jobs you’ve outgrown. 

In relationships that don’t nourish. In routines that feel hollow. 
Because they’re just good enough.

The worst thing in the world isn’t being on a bad path. 
It’s being on a good path that isn’t yours.

The bad path screams for change. The good one sits in silence.

It takes courage to escape the trap. You have to force action. You have to choose uncertainty over comfort. You have to make the cost of inaction feel higher than the cost of action.

And here’s an important truth to remember:
Courage isn’t courageous because it works out. 
Courage is courageous because you act without knowing that it will.

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♻ Repost to help someone escape the “good enough” trap.
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The "Good Enough" Paradox

Your comfort zone is charging interest.

 And you’re paying it daily.

Taking no risk is the biggest risk you can take.

Regret from inaction is always more painful than the regret from action.

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Hot take: There’s no such thing as a loser who wakes up at 5am and works out.

Why?

Because it’s hard.

It requires intense discipline—and it creates evidence of your power and control over your world.

That has ripple effects into every other area of life.

This is NOT to say that you have to wake up early to be successful, but it is to say that waking up early is the fastest way to rewire your brain.

To remind yourself that you can do anything. That you are capable. That you are a winner.

Remember: Confidence is built, not born. It is built through keeping promises to yourself.

Say what you’re going to do—do it. When you’re feeling stuck, that can provide the spark to get you out of it.

A lot of problems are solved by waking up early and working out.

So with that in mind, I’m off for my morning run. Who’s with me?

This is a powerful idea from my NYT bestselling book, The 5 Types of Wealth.

It was just named one of the Best Books of the Year (So Far) by Amazon. You can order it now on a huge 50% sale!

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The 10 most powerful paradoxes of life…

(most people never learn these):

1. The Persuasion Paradox
Have you noticed that the most argumentative people rarely persuade anyone?
The most persuasive people don’t argue—they observe, listen, and ask questions.
Argue less, persuade more.

2. The Effort Paradox
You have to put in more effort to make something appear effortless.
Effortless, elegant performances are often the result of a large volume of effortful, gritty practice.
Small things become big things. Simple is not simple.

3. The Wisdom Paradox
“The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know.” — Albert Einstein
The more you learn, the more you are exposed to the immense unknown.
This should be empowering, not frightening.
Embrace your own ignorance. Embrace lifelong learning.

4. The Growth Paradox
Growth takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you ever would have thought.
Growth happens gradually, then suddenly.

5. The Productivity Paradox
Parkinson's Law says that work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
Work longer, get less done.
When you establish fixed hours to your work, you find unproductive ways to fill it.

6. The Money Paradox
You have to lose money in order to make money.
Every successful investor & builder has stories of the invaluable lessons learned from a terrible loss in their career. Sometimes you have to pay to learn.
Put skin in the game. Scared money don't make money!

7. The Failure Paradox
You have to fail more to succeed more.
Our greatest moments of growth often stem directly from our greatest failures.
Don’t fear failure, just learn to fail smart and fast.
After all, getting punched in the face—a few times, but not too many—builds a strong jaw.

8. The Say No Paradox
Take on less, accomplish more.
Success doesn’t come from taking on everything that comes your way. It comes from focus—deep focus on the tasks that really matter.
Say yes to what matters, say no to what doesn’t. Protect your time as a gift to be cherished.

9. The Taleb Surgeon Paradox
Looking the part is sometimes the worst indicator of competency.
The one who doesn’t look the part has had to overcome much more to achieve its status than the one from central casting.
If forced to choose, choose the one that doesn’t look the part.

10. The Icarus Paradox
Icarus crafted wings out of feathers and beeswax to escape an island. He began to fly—the wings working wonders. But he quickly became blinded by his own engineering prowess and flew too close to the sun, which caused the beeswax to melt and sent him plummeting to his death.
What makes you successful can lead to your downfall.

—

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The 10 Paradoxes of Life

I used to carry stress from morning to night.

Until I learned this…

The Water Glass Effect.

Most of the burden we feel in life comes not from the weight of what we’re holding, but from how long we choose to hold it.

I recently came across an old video of a professor sharing a powerful lesson with his classroom of students.

He holds up a glass of water and asks the students how heavy it is.

The students answer with a variety of figures:

8 ounces. 12 ounces. 16 ounces.

The professor shakes his head:

The absolute weight of the glass doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold onto it.

If I hold it for a minute, nothing happens. If I hold it for an hour, my arm will begin to ache. 

If I hold it all day long, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed.

Well, the weight of the glass hasn’t changed, but the longer I hold onto it, the heavier it becomes.

The students lean in, and the professor continues with the deeper lesson:

The stresses and the worries of life are like this glass of water.

If you think about them for a little while, there’s no problem. 

Think about it for a little bit longer, it begins to hurt. 

If you think about them all day long, you’ll feel paralyzed, incapable of doing anything.

Always remember: Put the glass down.

Pause to think about this in your own life:

It’s not the weight of the argument itself that bears down on you. 
It’s the weight of replaying it again and again.

It’s not the weight of the mistake itself that cripples you. 
It’s the weight of revisiting it again and again.

It’s not the weight of the regret itself that stops you. 
It’s the weight of ruminating over it again and again.

Stress, anxiety, fears, and tension. They all get heavier with time. 
And the harder you squeeze the glass, the faster it happens.

As you hold onto them, they compound the weight of their burden on you.

So, take a moment today to notice what water glass you may still be holding.

What has your arm trembling under its increasing weight?

The burden is not from the weight of what you’re holding, but from how long you choose to hold it.

Put the glass down.

—

♻ Repost to remind someone: stress gets heavier the longer you hold it.
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The Water Glass Effect

One tiny mistake shouldn’t get to rewrite your identity.

But that’s what most of us let happen.

Imagine I hand you a white piece of paper with one small black dot on it and ask what you see.

Most people say:
“A dot.”
“A flaw.”
“A spot.”

Almost nobody mentions the massive white space around it.

That’s the Domino Mindset.

It’s the cognitive trap where one small negative creates a chain reaction of negative conclusions:

“I made a mistake” becomes “I’m terrible at my job.”
“That convo was awkward” becomes “Everyone thinks I’m weird.”
“The commute was stressful” becomes “My whole day is ruined.”

It’s the quiet thief of perspective.

It convinces you a temporary challenge is a permanent truth.

That a single bad gets to erase an entire stack of good.

The antidote is simple:

When you hit your dark spot, pause. Breathe. Zoom out.

Remember the size of the page that surrounds it.

—

♻ Repost to help someone ask the right question.

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Avoid this cognitive trap!

They’ll say you’re doing it wrong.

That’s just the Critics Tax at work.

There’s a quote I always come back to:

“If you absolutely can’t tolerate critics, then don’t do anything new or interesting.” – Jeff Bezos

It’s a powerful reminder:

No matter how you choose to live, someone will tell you you’re doing it wrong.

That it won’t work.
That you’re not qualified.
That your values are broken.
That you’re destined to fail.

But here’s the truth:

That criticism isn’t proof you’re off track.
It’s the Critics Tax—the price you pay for walking a path that’s yours.

People don’t judge the merit of your path.
They judge how well it matches theirs.
And when it doesn’t, they project.

They take their map of the world—shaped by their fears, experiences, and incentives—and lay it on top of your terrain.

The problem?

Those two maps rarely align.

What looks risky from their view might feel obvious from yours.
What seems naive from their lens might be values-driven through yours.

So yes, listen to feedback.

Sometimes there’s truth buried in it.

But never let someone else’s map dictate how you feel about your own path.

It’s your terrain.

You make the rules.

—

♻ Repost to remind someone: criticism is just the tax.

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The Critics Tax

Science found the most stressful type of relationship.

(It’s not the one you think):

A few years ago, I read a study that permanently changed how I think about relationships.

Researchers once studied how different relationship types affect your long-term health.

They grouped relationships into three buckets:

Supportive: consistently positive

Demeaning: consistently negative

Ambivalent: sometimes supportive, sometimes demeaning

Then they ran a simple experiment.

104 healthy young adults brought a friend to a lab and labeled the relationship as either supportive or ambivalent.

Each participant had to deliver an impromptu speech in front of a group (a high-pressure task designed to trigger stress).

After the speech, the friend gave feedback—randomly assigned as positive, negative, ambivalent, or ambiguous.

Researchers measured heart rate and blood pressure before, during, and after.

Here’s what they found:

Participants who said the relationship was ambivalent had higher blood pressure response, higher anxiety, and higher heart rate reactivity.

And here’s the part that should stop you in your tracks:

That stress response stayed high even when the ambivalent friend gave positive feedback.

In other words:

It wasn’t the moment that did the damage.
It was the unpredictability.

Your nervous system is anticipatory.

When a relationship is sometimes good, sometimes bad, your body never fully stands down.

It stays alert. On edge. Guarded.

That constant, low-grade vigilance takes its toll.

So what can you do about it?

Start with a simple exercise from my book that I call the Relationship Map.

Place your core relationships on a 2x2 grid:

Relationship Health (demeaning → supportive)

Relationship Frequency (rare → daily)

This creates four zones:

Green Zone: high support, high frequency

Opportunity Zone: high support, low frequency

Red Zone: demeaning, high frequency

Danger Zone: ambivalent, high frequency

Then the move is simple:

Lean into Green and Opportunity relationships.
Lean away from Red relationships.
And beware the Danger Zone.

Communicate actively. Try to improve it.

But if the unpredictability continues, don’t be afraid to minimize the energy you give to it.

Because the quality of your relationships may be the single most important predictor of your long-term health and wellbeing.

Choose your people wisely.

—

♻ Repost to remind someone: peace is a relationship choice.

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The Hidden Cost of Ambivalent Relationships

💪Girl dad 🛋️Psychologist 🌅I pulled back from a prestigious (but overworked) clinical path to design a 6-figure career around my family 🤝🏾I help therapists build and make money from their online courses and podcasts

I didn’t grow up around business owners.
To be honest, I thought I’d do therapy and testing forever.

Then, in 2014, a snowstorm shut everything down. 

The power went out.
The roads froze.

I canceled 21 therapy sessions in one week.

We were saving for our first home.
And just like that, my income was gone.

So I started asking better questions.

A few months later, in March 2015, I launched a small podcast called Selling The Couch. 

No hype. Just showing up each week (and recording from a TV dinner stand from Walmart!).

Over time, it became:

• 🌍 A top 0.5% podcast worldwide
• 📊 1.92M+ downloads in 100+ countries
• 💛 A trusted space for thoughtful builders

Then life changed again.

Our daughter was born 7.5  weeks early.
The sounds of the NICU stayed with me as she struggled to make it.

That season taught me this:

How you build matters as much as what you build.

⸻

Today, I help thoughtful professionals grow without burning out.

So far:
• 🎧 245+ therapists launched podcasts
• 🧠 50+ founders built online courses
• 💰 $1M+ earned—while building around family and health

My own business is built around:

🥾 Hiking
🧩 Deep work
⛪ Church
⛳ Golf
💬 Time with the people I love

Because success that breaks your nervous system
isn’t success.

⸻

In fall 2025, I started learning to play golf. ⛳
I was 43.

It was a dream I’d had since I was eight.

I'm committed to weekly lessons with a PGA coach, hours of practice, and more hip mobility training that I know what to do with. 😅

Golf teaches me patience, pressure, and staying calm when it matters.

⸻

What I’m focused on now

Haven — a calm community for therapists building:
• 🎙️ Podcasts
• 📘 Courses
• 🎥 YouTube
• 🎤 Speaking + writing

No hustle culture.
Just steady progress.

👉 sellingthecouch.com/haven

I also write The Quiet Builder ✍️
A paid newsletter for people who want to build their careers around their lives and health.

⸻

Starting in Fall 2026, I'm working privately with people who make
high-stakes decisions under pressure—

where lives, capital, or influence
are on the line.

🩺 Doctors, Lawyers, and Surgeons
📈 Investors
🏗️ Founders
🏌️ Elite performers

The work is about one thing:

🧘 Identifying your unique performance blocks + staying calm when mistakes are costly.

⸻

If you’re building something meaningful and want to stay whole while doing it—let’s connect =).

Melvin Varghese, PhD

Burnout doesn’t start with exhaustion.

It starts when we ignore the early signals.
👀 Skipping meals
📱 Scrolling too much
😮💨 Feeling distant from work you used to love

In today’s episode of Selling the Couch, I’m joined by clinical psychologist,  author, and my friend, Dr. Emily Anhalt, whose work on emotional fitness is helping therapists, founders, and helpers build resilience—without self-sacrifice.

We talk about:

✅ Emotional fitness vs emotional intelligence
✅ How to know when burnout is around the corner
✅ A powerful “emotional push-up” you can try today
✅ Why boundaries are blueprints for sustainability—not barriers

This conversation is honest, practical, and such a refreshing reframe for anyone in the helping professions who’s tired of white-knuckling their way through it all. 🙂 

🎧 Listen here: https://lnkd.in/ezzpAn2w

📘 Get Emily’s book Flex Your Feelings: dremilyanhalt.com

Let me know what lands for you—and feel free to share this with a therapist or leader who might need it. We all need a little more emotional fitness in our lives.

Melvin Varghese PhD

💪 Girl dad + Psychologist + New Golfer ⛳ Helping therapists & quiet builders grow calm, strong businesses ✍🏽 Sharing slow growth lessons since 2015

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I used to think the goal was to be everywhere.
Instagram. Facebook. LinkedIn. 

Always posting. Always showing up.

And for a while, it worked.

My Facebook group grew to nearly 10,000 therapists.
I had a few posts go viral on Twitter (180k+ views). 

LinkedIn brought in opportunities I couldn’t have imagined.

From the outside, it looked like momentum.

But something else was happening underneath. 😔

I stopped measuring the depth of my work.
And started measuring how many likes it got.

I started measuring how I felt on the inside by how my posts were doing.

A few years ago, I shut down that Facebook group + stopped posting on Twitter.

And lately, I’ve been pulling back here on LinkedIn, too.

Not because I hate social media.

But because I'm starting to tune in to how my nervous system feels when I'm always on social (not great).

I'm also (very slowly) realizing that I do much better with 1 on 1, small group chats, and actually meeting up with people.

It's a big reason why this year I'm focusing a lot more on in person meetups + phone calls.

Recently, I recorded a Quiet Builder episode on this idea of "growing without always being on social media."

https://lnkd.in/eViuDyiM

Would LOVE to hear how you're thinking about this. 🙂

I sat down this morning to write a post about our latest Quiet Builder episode...but I can’t finish it without acknowledging what’s been happening in Minnesota.

In just the past few weeks, federal immigration agents have shot and killed at least two U.S. citizens in Minneapolis, including a 37‑year‑old ICU nurse who was described by family and friends as someone who cared deeply about helping others. 

This isn’t just news on a screen.

It’s real people.
Real grief.
Real fear.

And truthfully... it’s left me reeling.

⸻

As someone who has lived in this country as an immigrant, who wants to show up for others, and who believes in service and community, I find myself struggling with two things at once:

1️⃣ 𝗠𝘆 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗰𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗰𝘁‑𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗻𝘁

When events like this happen, there’s a part of me that just wants to turn away — to protect my peace, to focus on work, to stay safe.

2️⃣ 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝘀𝗵 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆

Because part of building platforms like this — slow, deep, relational platforms — is exactly to be a voice for people who don’t feel heard.

⸻

My heart breaks for my country right now.
It breaks for Minneapolis.

It breaks for those who are scared, uncertain, and hurting.

And it breaks for the therapists and clinicians I know — the ones who will hold other people’s pain and their own.

This is heavy work.
Emotionally. Humanly. Spiritually.

If you, too, are having a hard time with what’s unfolding — in Minnesota or anywhere suffering violence and fear — you’re not alone.

It matters that we care.

It matters that we feel.

It matters that we don’t look away.

Today was a big day in my golf journey. 🙂

After a few weeks of lessons…practice....
a lot of slow-motion swings in the lab (and lots of "what the heck am I doing learning this game at 43?" moments)…

I finally made it out to the range. 🏌🏾‍♂️

I have no idea if what I’m doing is “good” —
But it felt great to see the ball fly.
Even if it wasn’t always straight. 😅

Feels like Day 1 all over again.
And I’m here for it.

Any fellow golfers here?
Would love to connect . 🙂

26 days after I launched my podcast, it ranked higher than Snoop Dogg’s new podcast. 😅

It’s funny to look back on now.
But at the time, it meant 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙩.
I needed it to mean a lot.

In my 20s and 30s, I tied my worth to success.
If I wasn’t achieving, I felt like I was failing.
That feeling ran deep.

Over the years, therapy, brainspotting, and my faith helped me see something else:
𝗜 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜’𝗺 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴.

That’s been hard to accept.
But also freeing.

Now in my 40s, I’m making some changes.

Starting in 2026:

• I’ll work just 2 days a week on Selling the Couch
• I’ll spend 1 day playing golf and another day practicing
• And I’ll spend another day in a new experience called A Quiet Approach

It’s for people who need to stay calm under pressure—
like surgeons, investors, and founders.

We’ll use golf as a playground to see how stress shows up and brainspotting to help reset the nervous system.

But here’s the big question I’ve been sitting with lately:

𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝗮 𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗯𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 “𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗳𝘂𝗹?”

I think the answer is yes.
But it’s a shift I’m still learning to live.

I made a short video about this if you want to watch. 🙂
📽️ https://lnkd.in/eXEuWQy2

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⛳ Any fellow golfers out there?! Let's connect. 🙂

Open Question

❓ Would love to hear...how are you navigating chasing vs being content with enough?

Last week, we launched something new.
It’s called 𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯.

A calm, steady space for therapists building online courses, podcasts, YouTube channels, speaking, and writing—without the whole hustle vibe.

We kicked things off with a live accelerator on:
𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗔𝗜-𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲.

15 thoughtful colleagues joined me.
We’re exploring what it means to build a course that lasts—
even in a world where AI changes everything.

I’ll be honest...
Every time I launch something new, I still feel it.

That quiet voice:
“Will this work?”
“Will it help?”
“Will anyone say yes?”

But they did.
And I’m so grateful. 😭

We’re keeping this first cohort small—
not to create hype or scarcity,
but to serve deeply.

To listen.
To build something that actually supports.

Next up?
A short pause,
then our 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗧𝘂𝗯𝗲 𝗙𝗹𝘆𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗲𝗹 accelerator in April—
how to use AI + quiet strategy to turn one video into many.

The part means a lot to me?

We’ve set aside 10% of every sale from Haven
to create a scholarship fund for girls and women rescued from brothels in the commercial sex trade.

To support their education.
To help rebuild lives that deserve more than survival.

This is something our family has wanted to do for a long time.

Now, with Haven’s potential to scale, it finally makes sense to start.

Because this isn’t just about business.

It’s about asking:
What does generational impact actually look like?
And how do we quietly build toward it?

💬 If you’re a therapist building something meaningful online,
DM me and I’ll keep you posted when Haven opens again.

“This sounds NOTHING like me.” 
This is what I said when I started AI early last year to create content. 😅

You type a few prompts into ChatGPT or Claude...
It spits something out that kinda works...
But it sounds robotic, flat, and not like you.

Like it has no soul or depth.

The problem isn’t you.
The problem is how most of us were taught to use AI.

𝗪𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗰 𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗸—𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿.

⸻

Here’s what changed everything for me:

✅ I stopped asking AI to replace my voice
✅ I started teaching it how I speak, think, and create
✅ Dan helped me build a brand voice doc so my team could use AI without sounding like AI

Now we use AI to:

— Write podcast scripts
— Repurpose transcripts
— Draft LinkedIn posts like this…all without me micromanaging or burning out.
⸻
I recently sat down with my friend, Dan Cumberland 🚀, to talk about using AI for content creation without losing your voice. 

What I most loved about this chat is that it's full of practical things we can all do.

If you’ve ever thought, “𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗔𝗜, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲…”
This new episode is for you. 🙂

https://lnkd.in/eUwE9jM6

Before I became a dad, I recorded podcasts at 3:50 a.m.

I thought that was what success looked like—
stacked calendars, always “on,”
doing everything, every day.

But something shifted.

A NICU baby.
Aging parents.

And a quiet inner voice asking:

“What if you built around energy, not ego?”

So I made a change.

I cut Selling the Couch to two days a week.
I opened space to rest, for prayer, to golf, and to be present.

And one day, this sentence came out of my mouth:

“𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚.”

That was it.
That was the shift.
The moment I realized this was enough.

👉 I shared the full story in this short video.

Would love for you to watch. 🙂

🔗 https://lnkd.in/erfZgMGk

Online courses feel risky right now. 😩

I’ve been creating them for 11 years — through the 2008 crash, COVID, and now AI.

But lately I’ve been wondering:

❓ Will anyone even buy my course?
❓ Is all this effort worth it?

𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗚𝗣𝗧 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗚𝗿𝗼𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀...
𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲?

That fear is real. And valid.

⸻

But here’s the shift I’m seeing 👇

𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻’𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗱.
𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲.

People no longer want just content.
They want belonging.
They want something made for them.

⸻

What’s working now 🧭

1️⃣ 𝗚𝗼 𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗵𝗲.

One of our students is building a course + support experience for
 South Asian caregivers whose parents are facing Alzheimer’s, cancer, or terminal illness.

It’s personal. Needed. Deeply human.

⸻

2️⃣ 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴.

People aren’t looking for information.

They’re looking for community.
Somewhere they feel seen.

⸻

3️⃣ 𝗔𝗱𝗱 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 

Not gimmicks. 🎯
Just small wins that build momentum.

⸻

4️⃣ 𝗕𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 

Position your course in a blue ocean 🌊 —
where students either choose you...
or choose nothing.

⸻

🎙️ I recently recorded a STC podcast on
𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗧𝗼 𝗔𝗜-𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗢𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲 (𝗡𝗼𝘄 + 𝗜𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗙𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲)

I walk through these 4 strategies — with examples. 

🔗 https://lnkd.in/ePSwg3jj

If you’re launching (or reworking) a course in 2026…
this will help. <3

P.S. We're wrapping up our soft launch of Haven, our new community for therapists building and growing their courses, YouTube, podcasts, speaking, and writing.

𝗪𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝟮-𝟯 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝘁𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸'𝘀 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝗻 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗧𝗼 𝗔𝗜-𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗖𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝗙𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗢𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲.

Please DM me if you've love to chat about it. 🙂

21 years ago, I started my PhD.

I was excited. 

I knew it would be a long road—5+ years of grad school, internship, and postdoc.

But it flew by.
And now, looking back, I wish I had done some things differently.

✅ I got a lot done.
❌ But I wasn’t always strategic with my time.

If I could do it over again...
 • I’d take a basic finance and/or a storytelling class 
 • I’d start building something small on the side: a podcast, a newsletter, even a LinkedIn presence
 • And I’d invest in my nervous system—because this work is heavy 

🎧 I just recorded a podcast episode on this:

“If I Were In Grad School Again, Here’s What I’d Do.”

https://lnkd.in/eiYDxMbe

It’s honest. It’s practical. It’s from the heart.

If you’re in grad school—or mentoring someone who is—this might help. 🙂

QUESTION: If you could speak to your former self who was going through school, what would you tell them? Would love to hear. =) 

“I wish I’d known...” story.

What if you didn’t have to PERFORM your success?

I used to think success had to be loud.
That if I was doing well, people should see it.

But over time, I noticed something:

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁, 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄?
𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻’𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗮.
𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗼𝗳𝗳.
𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗲.

They value privacy over applause.
Margin over attention.
Freedom over fame.

Now I’m asking different questions:

Does this decision buy more time with my family?
Will this matter in 20 years?
Am I still free?

That’s my definition of wealth now.
Not noise. Not numbers.
But peace.

Recently, I recorded a YouTube video on building generation wealth without performing on social media. 

▶️ https://lnkd.in/ePj676ny

Would love to hear what how you're thinking about this. =)

People Are Watching—Even When You Think No One Is. 👀

When I started my podcast in 2015, I had no idea where it would go.

I was juggling clinical work, trying to understand this whole podcasting thing, and figuring out how to share content that actually helped people.

Honestly? I didn’t think anyone would listen. 😬

I was convinced I needed to be more polished, more experienced—more something—before I had the right to take up space.

But over time, I noticed something surprising...

𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻’𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀.

Not for perfection, but for 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗳—that you can start before you’re ready. That you can figure things out along the way. That you don’t need to be an expert to make an impact.

And I see this all the time with therapists who want to create a podcast or an online course. They think they need more credentials, more confidence, or more clarity before they start.

But here’s what I’ve learned: 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗶𝗴𝘂𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁.

The simple act of showing up—imperfectly, consistently—is what inspires others to believe they can do it too.

You don’t need to be an authority to lead.
You don’t need to be the best to make a difference.
You just need to be willing to start.

Because sometimes, your courage to try is the exact inspiration someone else needs.

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Melvin Varghese, PhD

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The Battle

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