Ryan Rouse

MALK Organics

President

Self Employed

Growth Advisor

HighKey 

Chief Executive Officer (acquired)

Board Member

Chief Marketing & Ecommerce Officer

Tasseo Consumer Ecosystem

Operating Partner

Serenity Kids

Head of Growth

Factor_

Co-Founder (Acquired by Hello Fresh)

Chief Marketing Officer

Chief Operating Officer

Merrill Lynch

Vice President of Sales

Growth advisor to consumer businesses with a focus on every line of the P&L | Previously, Co-Founder at Factor Meals (acquired), CEO at Highkey

Growth-minded CPG leader with deep experience across finance, brand building, and operational leadership.

After more than a decade in finance—culminating in an eight-year tenure at Merrill Lynch—I co-founded Factor_, a ready-to-eat meal delivery company that went on to be acquired by HelloFresh for $277M in 2020.

I joined HighKey Snacks as Chief Marketing Officer and later CEO, guiding the low-sugar snack brand through rapid expansion and an acquisition in 2024.

I'm currently the President of MALK Organics, a fast-growing, near nine-figure brand redefining the plant-based milk category with its commitment to clean, organic ingredients and uncompromising quality.

And I write a newsletter about what it really takes to grow—your company, your mindset, your tolerance for chaos:
​
​• The unfiltered truth about building a brand
• Why “strategy” isn’t always strategic
• What to do when everything feels on fire
• Mindset shifts that keep you sane(ish)​
• Founder mistakes, market moves, and lessons I’m still learning​
​
​Part playbook, part perspective shift.
For anyone trying to grow something—and keep their head on straight.

Sign up using the link here (or below my profile pic above): https://ryanrouse.me/

Vice President | Partner

Data driven investors in early stage consumer brands. 

I don't know a single truly successful person with a scarcity mindset.

Not one.

The ones who make it big? They're cheering everyone on, even their competitors. 

Sounds backwards. 

But the pie's not fixed. When the category grows, everyone grows. So their success doesn't shrink yours.

And when you operate from that place, you stop playing defense and start playing offense.

That's when you really win.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Never Been on a Forbes List | President at MALK Organics | Daddy at Rouse House | Previously: Co-Founder & CMO at Factor_, CEO at Highkey

The most expensive person in your company isn't your highest-paid employee.

It's the one who loses their shit when things don't go their way.

The person who stays calm when shit hits the fan doesn't just solve problems faster.

They become the anchor everyone else holds onto.

When you're the one not freaking out, something magical happens.

People think clearer around you.
They bring solutions instead of panic.
They match your energy, not your emotions.

Being offended is a choice.
Getting emotional is a choice.
Losing your cool is a choice.

And every time you make that choice, you're choosing to make your team weaker.

The competitive advantage isn't in being right when everyone's wrong.

It's in being calm when everyone's not.

Because emotions are contagious.

Choose which ones you're spreading.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Everyone thinks they're ready for their boss's job.

Until they get promoted.

And realize the job they thought they understood was maybe 30% of it.

The other 70%? 

Managing up while managing down.
Making decisions with incomplete data.
Taking heat for choices they didn't make.
Navigating politics they didn't know existed.

As well as the additional context. 

Board dynamics.
Investor relationships.
Internal politics.
Historical baggage.

All the shit you can't see from one level down.

Instead of assuming you know the role, assume you don't and seek to understand. 

Ask questions.
- Why'd you phrase it that way?
- What aren't you saying in this email?
- Who are you really managing here?

Not just in meetings - in the prep. In the follow-ups. In the calls that "weren't important enough to mention."

The real education isn't in the meetings you're invited to.

It's in the ones you're not.

Want that next role? Stop assuming you're ready for it.

Start learning what it actually is.

Because the gap between where you are and where you want to be isn't about skills.

It's about context you don't have yet.

And, likely, soft skills you need to refine. 

Get curious about what you can't see.

That's how you get ready.

Not by waiting.

By studying.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Stop trying to motivate people.

You can't.

I wasted years at Factor_ thinking I could inspire people to care about our mission. Gave passionate speeches. Shared the vision until I was blue in the face.

Know what I learned?

Everyone's already motivated. Just not by what you think.

So your job isn't to motivate them.

It's to figure out what already drives them.

Then connect the dots.

I thought I was a shitty motivator at Factor_.

Turns out I was just a shitty listener.

Once I started asking "What matters to you?" instead of assuming everyone wanted what I wanted?

Everything changed.

People started crushing goals. Not because I motivated them.

Because I finally understood what motivated them.

And showed them how to get it.

Stop pushing your agenda.

Start pulling theirs.



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If you liked this post, you'll love my emails. No BS observations and advice from 12+ years in the trenches building brands. 

Link in the comments 👇

The best deals happen when you're willing to lose them.

The best partnerships form when you're not desperate for them.

The best opportunities find you when you're not frantically searching.

I can't explain the mechanics of it.

But I've lived it.

The tighter you squeeze, the less you hold.

The more you relax, the more flows to you.

Sounds backwards.

Works forwards.

The difference between good leaders and great ones?

Good leaders hit their numbers.

Great leaders make everyone believe they can hit theirs.

Leadership isn't about being the hero of your own story.

It's about making everyone else the hero of theirs.

Your job isn't to cross the finish line first.

It's to make sure everyone believes they belong in the race.

Don't create followers.

Create more leaders.

Do it by making every single person feel like they're writing the story, not just reading it.

Your victories should feel like their victories.

Because they are.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Nobody wants your advice.

They want to know what you did when you were in their shoes.

Huge difference. Took me years to learn it.

When I was at Merrill Lynch, an employee came to me. Struggling with a toxic coworker. Asked what to do.

I launched into this whole speech about "professional communication" and "setting boundaries."

Watched their eyes glaze over.

Know why?

Because I was talking like a management textbook. Not like someone who'd actually been there.

So I stopped. Started over.

"Had the same thing happen to me years ago. Guy constantly undermined me in meetings. Here's what I did: Started documenting everything. Every interaction. Every slight. Not to be petty - to see the pattern. After two weeks, I realized he only did it when the CEO was around. Insecurity. So I started praising his ideas publicly before meetings. Killed him with recognition. Stopped within a month."

Their whole posture changed.

Not because my story was brilliant.

Because it was real.

When someone asks for advice, they're not asking for wisdom.

They're asking for proof that someone survived what they're facing.

Your theoretical framework means nothing.
Your "5 steps to success" means nothing.
Your generic best practices mean nothing.

But that time you royally screwed up a product launch and recovered?
That matters.

That time you had to resolve an issue with your co-founder?
That matters.

That time you lost your biggest client and rebuilt?
That matters.

Stop playing guru.

Start sharing scars.

People don't need another expert.

They need someone who's been in the mud and made it out.

Next time someone asks for advice, skip the lecture.

Tell them about the time you faced the same shit.

What you tried. What failed. What finally worked.

That's the only advice worth giving.

Everything else is just noise.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Stop writing novels before you get to the point.

• Slack messages with 2 paragraphs of context before asking if you can move a meeting.
• Emails that bury the budget approval request in paragraph 4.
• A "quick update" that takes 5 minutes to find the actual update.

You think you're being thorough. But you're burying the lead. 

Every second someone spends hunting for your point increases the chances that they miss it. 

Always. Lead. With. The. Ask. 

"Need budget approval for X. Details below."

"Meeting conflict - can we move to 3pm? Here's why..."

"Update: We're 2 weeks behind. Here's what happened..."

When you do that, speed of decision making increases.

People actually read the context because they know why they are reading it. 

Your high school English teacher was wrong.

Don't build to the conclusion. Start with it.

Don't provide context first. Give them the point, then explain.

People aren't reading your messages like novels. They're scanning for what you need.

Make it easy for them.

Or watch them start ignoring you.

I've never met a successful founder who was in a hurry to be happy.

But I've met plenty who were in a hurry to be successful.

And most were miserable.

Here's the thing about hurrying... 

Every time you rush through now to get to later, you're telling yourself this moment doesn't count.

That happiness is waiting for you somewhere else.

Spoiler: It's not.

The disease isn't being busy.

The disease is believing that busy gets you somewhere better than here.

Your next meeting isn't more important than this moment.
Your next milestone won't make you happier than you can be right now.
Your future success won't fix your current inability to be present.

Happiness isn't waiting at your next revenue or income threshold. Or an exit. 

It's sitting right here. Right now.

Even if here isn't where you thought you'd be.

Especially if it isn't.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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One of the biggest turning points in an early stage business is when you stop thinking it's cute that the business "flies by the seat of its pants."

And start realizing that it's limiting growth.

"We're scrappy."
"We move fast."
"We figure it out as we go."

All code for: We don't have our shit together.

And it works. Until it doesn't.

Process is not about control. It's about freedom.

Freedom from:
- Solving the same problem 47 times
- Having every decision escalate to you
- Losing your best people to preventable burnout
- Watching quality tank because "everyone does it differently"

There's a fine line between startup energy and startup chaos.

But one you have to be on the lookout for. 

Because chaos doesn't scale.

Doing things that are hard will change how you see yourself.

They don't just build skills. They rebuild identity.

When you do the shit that scares you, you stop being the person who's scared of it.

When you tackle what you suck at, you stop being the person who sucks at it.

Each hard thing I've tackled in business changed the story I tell myself.

From "I'm not a numbers guy" to "I can figure this out."

From "I don't do operations" to "I'll handle it."

From "That's not my strength" to "Not yet."

The hard things you're avoiding?

They're not obstacles.

They're identity upgrades waiting to happen.

You think you know who you are.

But you're just who you've been so far.

Do the hard thing.

Meet who you could be.

This is cliche as hell. 

It's also true.


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There are two types of people at startups.

The ones waiting for their manager to tell them what to do.

And the ones who've already done it.

Take two employees side by side. 
Same title. 
Same experience. 
Completely different trajectories.

One keeps asking "What should I work on next?"

The other is already shipping solutions to problems nobody had assigned yet.

Guess which one has a steeper trajectory?

At early stage companies, your task list is a suggestion.

The real work? It's everything that's not on it yet.

The stuff nobody's noticed is broken.
The process that takes 10 steps but could take 2.
The customer complaint that "isn't your department."

Everyone's busy at startups. That's not special.

What's special is being busy with the right shit.

The ones who wait for permission to level up never do.
The ones who just start fixing things become indispensable.

I used to think initiative was about working harder.

Wrong.

It's about working on what matters before someone tells you it matters.

Your boss isn't your career GPS.

Stop waiting for directions.

Start building the map.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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The biggest sales job you'll ever make isn't to your customers.

It's to yourself.

Because it's the stories in your head determine the stories you tell the world.

If you're telling yourself you're an imposter, that's exactly what you'll project in every meeting.

If you're telling yourself you're not a "numbers person," guess what? You won't be.

If you're telling yourself you need one more certification, one more mentor, one more anything before you're ready...

You're right. You'll never be ready.

Because readiness isn't something you acquire.

It's something you decide.

The most successful people I know aren't the ones with the best credentials or the smoothest pitch.

They're the ones who changed their internal narrative first.

From "I'm figuring it out" to "I know my shit."
From "I hope this works" to "Watch me make this work."
From "I'm not that type of person" to "I'm becoming that type of person right now."

Your business can only grow as fast as your self-concept allows.

Change the story. Change everything.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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When emotions run high, intellect runs low.

Your IQ literally drops when you're heated. The part of your brain that handles logic? It checks out. 

Leaves you with the part that wants to fight or flee.

That's when we make our worst decisions.

Break trust with a team member.
Send the relationship-ending text.
Make the deal-killing move.

Now when I feel that heat rising, I do nothing.

No emails. No calls. No Slack messages. No decisions.

Just breathe. Stand up. Walk away.

The problem will still be there in the morning.

But I'll have my full brain back to solve it.

Because I now know that the most expensive words are the ones you say when you're emotional.

In those times, the most powerful thing you can do is absolutely nothing.

At least not until tomorrow.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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You can't be friends with people who work for you. 

I don't buy into this philosophy. 

I think you can. And believe it can an advantage in leadership. 

You just have to be willing to piss off your friends (who are also team members) more often then you do with people who are just friends.

We all want to be in good standing with our friends at all times. There's a weight that comes with being in conflict with people we care about that we'd rather not carry. 

But if you are going to be friends with people you lead, you have to get comfortable with that weight. 

Because you won't be in good standing with them all the time. 

Not if you're doing it right.

The best operators aren't the ones who can take the most punishment.

They're the ones who refuse to.

I used to pride myself on being the guy who could handle anything. Any timeline. Any ask. Any amount of chaos.

Until I realized I wasn't scaling the business.

I was enabling its dysfunction.

Real scaling happens when you make heroes unnecessary.

When you build processes that work without someone sacrificing their weekends.
When you invest in infrastructure before you're drowning.
When you say "this timeline isn't realistic" instead of "I'll figure it out."

Being irreplaceable isn't job security.

It's a trap.

The constraint of limited capital forces clarity.

When you can't throw money at problems, you have to actually solve them.

When you can't hire your way out, you have to execute your way through.

When every dollar matters, bullshit dies fast.

But at some point that constraint is a net negative on the business.

Because the "bootstrappers mindset" is established but company growth is stunted by a lack of cash.

When you can't invest in proper infrastructure, you pay in time.
When you can't hire the right people, you pay in mistakes.
When you can't test at scale, you pay in missed opportunities.

This is why experienced operators raise money differently. 

Not because they're greedy. Because they've lived through the hidden cost of being too lean.

They know when to be scrappy and when to invest.
They know which constraints sharpen you and which ones slow you down.
They know that sometimes the most expensive thing is being cheap.

Investors get this. That's why experienced operators raise bigger rounds sooner and often times operate in the red for longer.

Not because they have better pitch decks.

Because they've already paid the tuition on when capital constraint stops being an asset and starts being a liability.

The impact of your ability to connect with other human beings cannot be understated.

That skill alone unlocks more opportunities than everything else combined. 

This has nothing to do with the number of social media followers you have. Follower count is a terrible measure of the skill. 

I'm talking about your ability to find common ground with other people below all the surface level shit.

Which lives and dies with how early in a conversation you're willing to take off your mask and be honest about things. 

When I am real with people, I can literally see their face and body relax.  

The type of relief that only comes with the realization that you're in a conversation with someone you don't have to fake it with. 

Because faking it is exhausting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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When it comes to brand, positioning matters the most.

There are many positioning frameworks out there. 

I personally like one from McKinsey consultant Victor Cheng.

Cheng says that the best positioning makes a “Unique Compelling Credible Promise to a potential buyer”.


1. Your promise must be unique. 

The first step in winning a customer is being unique in a field of sameness. 

To achieve uniqueness, riff on the Who / What / Where / Why / When / How of your offering:

- Who do you serve?
- What do you offer?
- Where are your sales happening?
- Why do you do what you do?
- When do you fulfill?
- How do you do what you do?

All can be unique and differentiators in the market relative to your competition.


2. Your promise must be compelling.

Whatever you are promising has to solve a customer problem in an overwhelmingly compelling way. 

Review your customer feedback. What are their searing problems? 

Not their surface level problems.

Do they want to be healthier? (Surface level)

Or are they disgusted by how they feel and can't play with their kids because they are low on energy. (Searing problem)

Make your promise compelling. Address the searing problem head-on. 

Use the language your customers use. Mirror your solution back at them. 

Take this approach in all your sales copy, your ads, and your site.


3. Your promise must be credible. 

A unique and compelling offer means nothing if your potential customer doesn't believe you. 

It is asking a lot for a brand-spanking new visitor to take out her credit card and buy from you on the first visit to your site. 

This lack-of-trust is a big reason why conversion rates are so low.

You have to build credibility around your brand, fast. Here are some ways to do it:

- Customer testimonials
- Specificity
- Guarantees
- Research reports / Trials

Credibility is king. Without it, the first two don’t go very far.


You're gonna have a really tough time building and scaling a business without solid positioning. 

I love the approach above, but there are others. 

Pick one and do the thinking involved to carve out your own positioning. 

Every other aspect of running your business will become easier.

Action is the great equalizer.

It doesn’t care about your background, where you went to school, or how old you are. 

While everyone has things they want to do, significantly fewer people take action on them. 

Which presents an opportunity for those who do. 

Here's a simple formula for taking action on something new:

1/  Determine what the absolute smallest first step you can take looks like. 

2/  Take that step.

That’s it.

That one baby step will do a few important things for you. 

First, it will reveal the next step. There’s value in mapping out a step by step plan, but the step you actually take is the only thing will bring the next one into focus.

It will also help you decide if you want to take the next step. You don't have to.

Lastly, it will build momentum and internal belief. 

There’s nothing more powerful in the universe than the combination of these two things. 

This works for everything from a new business idea to a new hobby. 

Taking action, as imperfect as it may be, wins every time.

The Art of Charm, Inc

We teach and train professionals around the globe science-based communication, leadership, and persuasion skills. You'll be able to leverage the expertise and experience of world-class coaches when it comes to sales, persuasion, and social engagement. Need to align your team and drive a unified front toward your vision? We've helped Fortune 500 CEOs with this. Need to amp up your sales game? Our team has developed proprietary sales frameworks to support just that. 

Whether you listen to our globally-recognized podcast, join our Network+ program, or come on-site for our Hollywood Bootcamp, you're joined by millions of men and women trying to accomplish the same things: increase leadership and persuasion skills, reduce social awkwardness, and optimize your ability to communicate.

Chief Executive Officer

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Host, 'The Art of Charm presents: Game On' the only show completely devoted to helping you get (and keep) the girl. From 8-10pm EST on Sirius 108, XM 139.

On-Air Talent (Talkshow Host)

Build your social capital and influence ◼ Over 10,000 clients served in 17 years ◼ Co-Host and Founder, Art of Charm

🔥 Command Presence. Real Influence. No Fluff.

Already invested in coaching or leadership programs… but still feel like something’s missing?

You’ve got the credentials. The hard skills. Maybe even the title.

But if your career growth is slowing because your communication hasn’t caught up — you’re not alone.

Most professionals hit a ceiling when soft skills become the differentiator.

And that’s where I step in.

❌ The truth about most coaching:

Leadership courses? Too generic.

Corporate training? Too political.

Communication books and TED Talks? Great in theory, useless in high-stakes rooms.

You need targeted, practical coaching built around your professional world — not some academic framework.

✅ What You’ll Get Working With Me

10 hours. One-on-one. Personalized. Intensely practical.

We’ll work together to:

Decode high-stakes conversations and make your communication hit harder.

Amplify your influence in rooms filled with executives, engineers, investors, or stakeholders.

Build your “X-Factor” — a powerful personal presence that earns trust fast.

Unleash your Social Intelligence — command the room, influence anyone, and forge relationships.

You’ll never watch a video or sit through fluff. This is tactical training designed for results.

💥 Plus: Join the X-Factor Accelerator

An exclusive, implementation-based group for high performers. Inside:

Get real-time feedback from other driven professionals.

Practice frameworks in live drills.

Build executive presence and influence with accountability.

👊 My Credibility
19+ years in influence, leadership, and communication development.

10,000+ clients across tech, finance, military, and consulting.

Coached U.S. Military Special Forces & Intelligence Units.

Host of a podcast with 450M+ downloads featuring world-class scientists and performance experts.

For the Analytic Mind Turned Leader.
For the Founder Now Fundraising.
For the Operator Who Needs Buy-In Fast.

If you’ve already tried “the other stuff” and still aren’t getting the results — let’s fix it.

DM me.

Let's turn communication into your competitive advantage.

AJ Harbinger

Why smart leaders fail to motivate their teams.

The fix takes 30 seconds and increases productivity instantly:

Most technical leaders believe having answers makes them effective.

This costs companies millions in turnover and wasted potential.

Last week, I watched a brilliant engineering director shut down innovation with one common mistake. During a critical project meeting, when a senior engineer raised concerns about technical debt, the director immediately jumped to solutions.

Brain research reveals what happened next: The engineer's amygdala activated, triggering the same neural response as physical danger. The problem-solving parts of his brain literally went offline.

After coaching 10,400+ leaders at Google, Microsoft, and Meta over 18 years, I've identified what separates exceptional leaders from the rest.

The difference comes down to this: Leadership presence stems from making people feel understood, not from providing answers.

Top-performing leaders follow this sequence:

1. Listen completely before attempting to solve problems

2. Acknowledge emotions with phrases like "I understand why this feels frustrating"

3. Confirm understanding with "What I'm hearing is..."

Most leaders reverse this order. They solve first, listen last.

An engineering manager we coached implemented these principles and saw immediate productivity increases across his team.

The science explains why: People who feel heard become invested in solutions.

People who feel dismissed become resistant to them.

Your technical expertise got you promoted. Your listening skills will determine if you succeed.

Stop solving. Start hearing. Watch performance soar.

The holiday season isn’t a break—it’s a goldmine. 

But only if you know this system.

Most people waste the holiday season.

They show up to parties. Exchange pleasantries. Collect business cards.

Then wonder why nothing changes.

Here's what they miss:

November and December aren't just social months.

They're compressed decision windows.

The CFO who ignores your emails in March? Standing next to you at the holiday mixer.

That connector everyone wants access to? Actually shows up in December.

And here's what matters:

People make decisions during these eight weeks.

New partnerships. Advisory roles. Speaking opportunities.

Intros that reshape your entire Q1.

But they don't decide based on your resume.

They decide based on a five-minute conversation.

The operators who turn this window into real opportunities don't wing it.

They run a system.

Not pushy. Not salesy.

Three simple moves:

Spark genuine interest.

Surface what actually matters to them.

Convert to a specific next step.

Repeatable. Predictable. Effective.

While others hope for lucky breaks, they create warm intros and build pipelines that carry them through Q1.

The difference isn't charm or charisma.

It's structure.

A framework that turns short moments into leverage without scripts or auditioning.

You have sixty days.

Eight weeks of open calendars and full rooms.

Will you wing it or install a system?

If you want the system we're running this November, comment "SYSTEM" and

I'll send the details.

Three-week implementation. Built for this exact window.

But only if you're ready to make these eight weeks count.

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Personal branding sounds exhausting for introverts.

Another thing to add to your plate. Another way to put yourself out there when you'd rather stay behind the scenes.

But here's what Goldie Chan taught me:

Your personal brand exists whether you create it or not.

Every Google search.

Every AI query.

Every time someone looks you up before a meeting or interview.

The question isn't whether you have a digital footprint.

The question is whether you control the narrative.

Goldie spent over a decade behind the scenes in digital marketing before creating 800 consecutive daily videos on LinkedIn.

That commitment opened doors she never anticipated.

Forbes columnist.

Adobe partnerships.

Speaking opportunities across the country.

But it started with a simple decision:

Stop letting your digital presence be defined by what others post about you or what AI scrapes together.

Start defining it yourself.

For introverts, this is your advantage.

You don't need to network a room of 200 people. You don't need to cold call strangers. You don't need to be loud.

You need to speak to one person at a time through your content.

Share one insight per month. Document what you're learning. Talk about the problems you're solving.

That's it.

Three months of consistency beats three years of hoping someone notices your work in a Zoom meeting.

The digital world rewards people who show up. Not perfectly. Not with massive production budgets.

Just consistently.

Your next career opportunity won't come from your resume alone.

It will come from the story you tell about yourself online.

Start small. Start messy. But start.

Want to fast-track your promotion?

Shift your mindset before your title changes.

The transition from IC to manager is often the most difficult to navigate because you have to move beyond your own goals and performance to be successful.

Recognize that managing requires…

👉 Effective communication

👉 Time management

👉 Team building

👉 Conflict resolution

👉 Big picture thinking

Start demonstrating these key communication skills to your manager before your promotion, and you stand out immediately as the next obvious choice for promotion.

That means…

🔑 Participate in meetings by sharing relevant information and perspectives

🔑 Deliver your results ahead of deadlines and seek to support other team members on their deadlines

🔑 Appreciate team members for their contributions and support

🔑 Actively resolve issues before seeking support from management

🔑 Increase visibility by supporting other team members

Seek feedback in these areas and watch your performance reviews improve immediately.

Be honest about your intentions for promotion and growth.

Being good at your job is not enough to get you promoted.

Chances are you need to level up your communication skills to reach the next level.

Why the most magnetic people are not the most successful.

I used to believe charisma was the ultimate career weapon.

Then I watched the most charismatic person I know lose everything.

This guy could walk into any room and own it.

Thousand-watt smile. Perfect timing. Stories that had everyone leaning in.

He built a network of 10,000 LinkedIn connections.

Meanwhile, his quiet business partner barely spoke at events.

Awkward handshake. Zero stage presence. Maybe 200 connections total.

Guess who's running a $50M company today?

The quiet one.

Here's what the charismatic one missed:

He collected admirers. Not allies.

People loved being around him. But when he needed capital?

When he needed introductions?

When his startup hit crisis?

His 10,000 "connections" went ghost.

The quiet partner?

He had 12 people who'd take his call at midnight.

Here's what master relationship builders do differently:

They prioritize depth over width

Not "How many people know my name?"

But "How many people would I call in crisis?"

Quality compounds. Quantity evaporates.

They invest in boring conversations

Charismatic people entertain.

Connected people engage.

One creates fans. The other creates family.

They remember the small things

Your kid's soccer game. Your mom's surgery. Your side project nobody else cares about.

Charisma makes people feel good for an hour.

Connection makes people feel seen for life.

Carnegie taught us to be interested, not interesting.

But here's what Carnegie missed:

Being interested isn't enough if you're performing interest.

Real connection happens when you stop trying to be memorable and start trying to be useful.

The charismatic founder?

He's now working for one of those 200 connections his partner cultivated.

Stop building an audience.

Start building an army.

Your career depends on which one shows up when you need them.

Most professionals are instantly forgettable.

Not because they lack credentials or experience.

But because they use abstract language nobody can visualize.

I just interviewed behavioral scientist Richard Shotton on The Art of Charm Podcast, and he shared research that changes everything about how you introduce yourself:

People are 10x more likely to remember concrete phrases than abstract ones.

Why?

Vision is your most powerful sense for memory.

Apple didn't say "256 megabytes of storage."

They said "a thousand songs in your pocket."

Red Bull didn't say "gives you energy."

They said "gives you wings."

When you say you're a "strategic consultant" or "help companies optimize operations," you sound like everyone else.

But when you translate what you do into concrete, visual language?

You become the only person they remember the next day.

Richard also breaks down:

→ The "von Restorff effect" - why breaking meaningless conventions makes you appear higher status

→ How a CPA wearing bow ties dominated his competition

→ Why giving people even superficial control increases motivation by 400%

If you want to stand out in networking situations, stop using industry jargon.

Start painting pictures people can see in their minds.

Technical skills don't get you promoted.

Your emotional intelligence determines your career ceiling:

I coached Sam, a senior developer at Microsoft. Perfect code. Flawless technical reviews. Zero promotions in five years.

The diagnosis took minutes during our first session.

Sam solved problems through pure logic. He viewed workplace dynamics as inefficient distractions. He delivered criticism with surgical precision, regardless of how it landed.

His manager later told me: "Sam's brilliant, but meetings feel colder when he's in the room."

This pattern appears across thousands of technical professionals I've coached.

Your expertise hits a ceiling when your emotional intelligence fails to match it.

The research confirms this. TalentSmart analyzed over 33,000 professionals and found EQ predicted 58% of success in all job types.

Your technical skills get you hired. Your emotional intelligence gets you promoted.

Here's what separates the promoted from the perpetually overlooked:

• They read rooms before speaking
• They influence across departments without authority
• They navigate conflict without creating casualties
• They show appropriate emotion rather than rigid logic
• They build alliances before needing them

Sam focused on three EQ skills:

1. Relationship mapping: Identifying who influences decisions regardless of title

2. Empathetic disagreement: Challenging ideas without attacking people

3. Emotional visibility: Showing appropriate enthusiasm rather than constant neutrality

Four months later, he received his promotion with a $31K salary increase.

His manager's feedback: "Same technical skills, completely different impact."

Technical professionals who master emotional intelligence don't just get promoted.

They get chosen for opportunities others never know existed.

Stop developing what already works. Strengthen what's holding you back.

Most people think listening makes them influential.

Wrong.

MIT research tracked 2,500 workplace conversations. The highest-rated influencers spent 43% of interactions challenging what they heard.

Silent listeners were rated forgettable.

I watched this play out with a client who couldn't get promoted for three years.

Great listener. Took meticulous notes. Never missed a detail.

Also never got invited to strategy meetings.

Then we changed one thing.

Instead of nodding through presentations, he started asking the questions everyone was thinking but wouldn't voice.

Six months later, he's running the division.

Here's what shifted:

Forgettable people say:

"Thanks for sharing that." "Great point." "I'll think about that."

Influential people say:

"Walk me through the part where your data conflicts with the execution timeline." "What happens when we test that assumption?" "Help me understand why we're solving yesterday's problem."

You're not attacking. You're excavating.

That shift transforms you from audience to authority.

Here's what creates real influence:

Ask the question everyone avoids

The elephant in the room isn't hiding. Everyone sees it. Be the one who names it.

Expose the gap between claim and evidence

"The numbers look great. Show me what they looked like before you adjusted for seasonality."

Force clarity where there's ambiguity

Fuzzy language hides fuzzy thinking. Make people define their terms.

Challenge assumptions without attacking people

"I'm curious about the premise here" beats "You're wrong" every time.

Carnegie taught us to listen more than we talk.

But he missed the next level.

Influence doesn't come from absorbing information.

It comes from shaping how people think about that information.

When you do this, you stop being furniture in the room.

You become the person they need at the table before making decisions.

The voice they seek when stakes are high.

The perspective they can't afford to miss.

Stop trying to be liked.

Start being necessary.

Your influence will explode.

Most people think team players are the ones who say yes to everything.

Wrong direction.

Instead of saying yes, do these 5 things:

1. They make their boss look like a genius

Not by being a yes-person. By solving problems before they become fires.

The in-demand engineer sends weekly emails: "Spotted this issue. Already fixed it. Here's what I learned."

His manager looked prescient in every executive meeting.

2. They translate between tribes

Engineers speak to designers. Designers speak to sales. Sales speaks to executives.

Most people stay in their lane.

The person everyone wants? They become the bridge.

"Let me explain this in a way that makes sense for your team."

That sentence built more careers than any MBA.

3. They document their magic

Brilliant work that nobody can replicate creates dependency, not value.

The engineer everyone wanted? Created playbooks for everything he touched.

When he moved teams, his old team kept winning.

That's how you become invaluable—by making yourself unnecessary.

4. They give credit like candy

"Sarah had the initial insight."

"This builds on Marcus's framework."

"I just connected the dots Jamie spotted."

People who hoard credit get avoided.

People who share it get sought after.

5. They ask the question nobody wants to ask

"What happens if this fails?"

"Are we solving the right problem?"

"Who's actually going to maintain this?"

Most people protect the peace.

The person everyone wants protects the project.

Here's what I've learned after 17 years watching teams succeed and fail:

Being wanted isn't about being liked.

It's about being the person who makes everyone else better.

Stop trying to be the smartest person in the room.

Start being the person who makes the room smarter.

That's who everyone wants on their team.

Want to know why some talented professionals 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 get the promotion they deserve?

I started working with a brilliant engineer Daniel who kept getting passed over for leadership roles.

He had the technical skills.
He worked insane hours.
Yet consistently watched less qualified people climb the ladder above him.

Sound familiar?

I've found the hidden factor that determines who rises and who stagnates has 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 to do with your technical abilities or work ethic.

It's emotional intelligence.

And here's the thing most "career experts" won't tell you: 𝐄𝐐 isn't some touchy-feely concept. It's a concrete skill set that can be methodically developed like any other.

I watched Daniel transform his career in just a few months after focusing on this 𝐎𝐍𝐄 area.

We worked on reading the emotional temperature in meetings, growing his influence on the team and across departments, and not letting stress get the best of his communication.

Three months later?

Promoted with a $34K raise.

Why does this work so powerfully?

Because careers aren't built on skills - they're built on 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒. And relationships are built on emotional intelligence.

The cold truth:
• Your technical brilliance means nothing if people don't want to work with you
• Your hard work goes unnoticed if you can't effectively communicate its value
• Your leadership potential remains invisible if you can't connect with others

Want to stop watching less qualified people get promoted above you?

Focus on these three 𝐄𝐐 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬:
1. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 to read the emotional undercurrents in any room
2. 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩 the ability to influence without authority
3. 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 composure under pressure (this alone separates leaders from workers)

The professionals who master these elements don't just succeed - they create opportunities that others never even see.

Most people think charisma requires extroversion.

Science proves them wrong.

Harvard Business Review research shows charisma drives 85% of career success, yet technical professionals often misunderstand what creates it.

The truth? People decide how they feel about you before they evaluate your competence.

I discovered this while coaching a senior engineer at Microsoft.

Brilliant mind. Technical genius. Passed over for promotion three times.

"I don't understand," he told me. "My performance metrics are better than everyone on my team."

When we analyzed his interactions with leadership, the problem became clear: he focused entirely on displaying competence and completely neglected connection.

Research confirms this is backward.

Your brain makes social judgments in 0.1 seconds. The technical analysis comes later.

This explains why average performers with social intelligence often advance faster than technical experts who neglect it.

After working with thousands of professionals, I've identified three research-backed techniques that transform how others perceive you:

• Share a small vulnerability. The Pratfall Effect proves competent people become MORE likable when they reveal minor imperfections.

• Use reflective labeling. When someone shares something, name the emotion behind it: "That sounds exciting" or "That must have caught you off guard."

• Ask for advice instead of giving praise. The Benjamin Franklin Effect shows asking for help makes people like you more by activating their investment in your success.

My Microsoft client implemented these techniques during a work trip with his boss.

Two months later, he received the promotion he'd been chasing for years.
The salary increase? $27,000.

Charisma isn't mysterious or genetic.

It follows predictable patterns you can master regardless of personality type.

Stop focusing exclusively on technical skills. Start creating connection first.

When you make others feel seen and valued, you become unforgettable.

What relationship could you transform today with these techniques?

No one taught you how to actually connect. This 4-step loop will.

You've been in this conversation before.

Coffee chat. Networking event. Team meeting.

The person across from you says something—casual, throwaway—but there's weight behind it.

A micro-signal. A bid for connection.

And you... miss it.

Not because you're not smart. Not because you don't care.

But because no one ever taught you the choreography.

The 90-Second Bonding Loop is what you're not seeing.

It's the difference between polite and memorable.

Between "nice meeting you" and "let's grab coffee next week."

Between being respected and being magnetic.

Most people think connection is chemistry—something you either have or don't.

Wrong.

Connection is choreography. A repeatable sequence you can run in 90 seconds flat.

Here's the loop:

1. Spot the Bid – Catch the micro-moment (tone shift, unusual detail, energy spike)

2. Validate – Make their feeling make sense without fixing it

3. We-Bridge – Turn "you/me" into "we" with one sentence

4. Micro-Step – Lock in something small, specific, within 72 hours

That's it.

Run this loop three times and watch what happens.

Conversations that used to dead-end suddenly have momentum.

People lean in. Remember you. Follow up.

This week inside X-Factor Accelerator, we're drilling this exact sequence.

Not theory. Not "here's a framework, good luck."

We're going to:

• Give you the exact words that do the work

• Drill your personal 12-line toolkit live

• Show you how to spot bids you're currently blind to

• Practice the validation lines that make people feel seen

• Build your micro-ask library so the next step is always obvious

You'll walk out with scripts you can fire off in under 10 seconds.

And a bonding loop you can run on autopilot.

Look, you already bring substance.

You're smart. You work hard. You've earned your seat at the table.

But if people don't feel your value in the first 90 seconds, you're leaving relationships—and opportunities—on the table.

Want in?

DM me with "X-Factor" and I'll send you the details.

We're running this session live this week.

Don't wait for chemistry. Build it.

Tired of feeling awkward in conversation…

I’ve been there…

Ever find yourself fumbling for words during a chat? 

It sucks.

Once, at a networking event, my mind blanked mid-conversation. 

Awkward, right? 

But I learned something invaluable that day. 

Want in on the secret?

Here’s what to do:

👉 Ask something open-ended. Like, “What was the highlight of your weekend?”

👉 Nod or toss out a quick “cool” when they answer.

👉 Share your take. Maybe it reminds you of that time you tried skydiving. Just a bit. Don’t ramble.

👉 Chill for a sec. 

Let the convo breathe before diving in with more Qs.

This little strategy has saved more awkward small talk conversations than I can count. 

It turns weird silence into memorable convos.

Give it a shot with everyone. 

Make it yours. 

And say goodbye to awkward small talk!

Your achievements don’t make you unforgettable. 

The way you treat people does—and most high performers get this wrong.

I've worked with billionaires who can't maintain relationships and "ordinary" people who build incredible networks effortlessly.

The difference? Emotional generosity.

Emotionally generous people:

✅ Celebrate others' wins as enthusiastically as their own
✅ Give their full attention, not just their time
✅ Share credit abundantly and take blame privately
✅ Remember personal details and follow up without being asked
✅ Make others feel seen, heard and valued

Emotionally stingy people do the opposite:

❌ Subtly compete or one-up others
❌ Listen only to respond
❌ Hoard recognition and deflect criticism
❌ Treat personal details as transactional data
❌ Make everything about themselves

The truth? 

Emotional generosity isn't just nice - it's strategically powerful.

It creates loyalty that credentials can't buy and opens doors that achievements alone never will.

And the best part?

 It's completely within your control, regardless of your position, background or natural temperament.

Start by asking yourself: "Do people feel better or worse about themselves after interacting with me?"

Your honest answer will tell you everything about your current level of emotional generosity.

Stop treating meetings like status updates. 

Start treating them like strategy sessions — your visibility depends on it.

It is the biggest reason you are not advancing your career.

My client shared some feedback he received from a senior VP who was retiring.

They had worked closely together over the years and he gave my client a piece of feedback.

You need to be more visible in meetings.

My client was perplexed as he felt he had been sharing in meetings.

The problem was that in senior management meetings, he often let others share their opinions without responding.

My client valued everyone’s time in meetings and hated when he felt meetings dragged on rehashing information previously discussed.

He didn’t feel comfortable sharing his thoughts on departments he was not directly involved in.

He felt it was important to stick to an agenda and keep the meetings moving forward.

He also admitted that he was drowning in Zoom meetings as most of senior leadership is spread around the country.

The problem is that this meant he was on the sidelines more than in the game in the important meetings.

He was invisible to the most important people in the company.

When you are starting in your career, asking questions is a great way to become more visible in meetings.

As you progress in your career, you have to shift from asking questions to sharing insights and perspectives.

I asked what his pre meeting preparation was like.

He admitted he was often rushing from meetings to meetings without taking much time to prepare more than just glancing at the agenda.

We put together a meeting preparation plan so that he would always be ready to shine in the big moments.

In the fifteen minutes before meetings, we focused on three things…

👉 Getting present in the moment to become an active listener

👉 Preparing three insights he could potentially share based on the meeting agenda

👉 Highlighting one team member he could give appreciation to during the meeting

By refocusing himself before the meetings and joining them prepared, he started to find moments to bring his perspective to the group.

He shared with me that often he didn’t even share what he prepared before the meeting but that simple exercise made him more confident.

He was ready to step into the spotlight and he was even enjoying the meetings more now that he was prepared.

The hard truth to accelerating your career is that you have to step into the spotlight.

Your career isn't limited by your skills.

It's limited by the story you tell yourself.

Harvard professor Ranjay Gulati spent years studying courage in professionals and leaders.

His discovery changes everything:

Most of us carry disabling narratives without realizing it.

"I'm not that type of person."

"I've never been bold."

"I always play it safe."

These quiet stories kill opportunities before you even start.

The breakthrough?

Courage isn't an innate trait you're born with.

It's built by rewriting the narrative holding you back.

We chatted for an hour on the podcast and Ranjay breaks down:

→ Why charisma isn't about being extroverted (it's about how you make others feel about themselves)

→ How to detach from outcomes so fear doesn't paralyze you

→ The exact process top performers use to build courage like a muscle

The most powerful insight?

Change your story, change your career.

Most people never question the narrative they're living.

The ones who do?

They're the ones seizing the opportunities everyone else is watching pass by.

What story are you telling yourself—and is it enabling your success or destroying it?

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