After three years coaching engineers and leaders on mindset and wellbeing, I’m now combining that experience with my deep software engineering background as a Software Engineering Manager at OVO Energy.

Our work empowers customers to transition to greener energy by guiding them through the process of selecting and installing EV chargers. With ChargeAnytime, they benefit from cheaper, smarter charging, and through partnerships with industry leaders like Volvo and VWG, we extend this even further—offering new EV owners thousands of free miles alongside ongoing cost savings on their EV charging.

I work closely with my head of engineering to help shape our engineering strategy and model architecture. Through continuous improvement and a strong engineering culture, we continue to move toward our vision.

I’ve grown my fully remote team from four to ten engineers. This involved hiring and onboarding top talent and ensuring the right balance of technical expertise, mindset, and collaboration. 

I employ strategies such as dysfunction mapping to highlight areas for improvement within my teams. We also hold weekly continuous improvement sessions to provide feedback, engage team members, and track progress toward our technical and behavioural goals.

I focus on a coaching approach for my engineers, encourage taking responsibility and insist on fostering a psychologically safe environment were we can give and receive feedback, talk about mistakes and learn from them without the blame and judgement.

I work closely with nearshore partners, seamlessly integrating them into our work processes to extend our capabilities.

I recently represented OVO at Volvo’s Stockholm HQ, taking part in a two-day kickoff workshop for a multi-business collaboration project.

Contributed to ISO acreditation process for ChargeAnytime.

Software Engineering Manager

RD Coached Ltd

As the director of RD Coached Ltd, I provide mindset workshops and talks to software development teams and I provide 1-2-1 coaching to software developers and software development leaders.

Delivered a 2-hour workshop and delivered a talk on the main track at the C3 Dev Festival 2024 held in Amsterdam and the TechLead Conference 2024.

I also provide software development consultancy services via outside IR35 Contracts.

As part of my role, I continue to build automation systems to streamline my business, including integrating Notion and LinkedIn to save time scheduling and posting social media content.

I've also built a wellbeing hub for software developers and leaders with tools to help with mental and physical wellbeing. One of my tools integrates with the OpenAI Api.

Key technical skills:
C# Net 7, .Net Core, EF, ASP.NET, MVC, WebAPI, Microservices, HTML, CSS, Javascript, JQuery, OO design, SOLID principals, Design patterns, Azure DevOps, Azure Services, Docker, SCRUM, Agile, Apps Script, SQL Server, coaching, training, speaking

Director

Mindspan

As a Peak Performance Mindset Coach, I delivered Talks, Workshops and 1-2-1 coaching based on Mindspan's Peak Performance Mind Programme.

Peak Performance Mindeset Coach

Department for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy (BEIS) 

During my time with BEIS, I wrote a support application in React to streamline queries from the Government's Help To Grow programme, often reducing the effort from hours to minutes.

I saved the department nearly £20k by reviewing their caching strategy of the main Help to Grow system and providing feedback.

I later moved to the initial stages of the government's Energy Support scheme, in which I communicated with cross-functional teams to solidify the team's understanding of requirements as well as guided those less technical teams on the art of the possible, given the requirements and the time pressures we were under.

I onboarded and mentored new team members and took an active role in ensuring everyone had a voice in our meetings.

Senior Software Engineer

Aviva

Technical:
As part of a small team of software architects, I was responsible for overseeing the work of up to 200 developers who delivered our suite of digital online applications globally. 

I introduced consistent patterns and practices to ensure efficient and consistent development across our teams. 

I defined and implemented coding standards, peer reviews and integrated new technologies into the ecosystem.

Key projects include:
Migration to .NET Core and a containerized, cloud-based architecture.

Migration of our source control and build system from Atlassian Stash and Jenkins to Microsoft Azure DevOps, introducing comprehensive CI/CD processes

Developed and maintained a microservice-based API layer using .Net Core 3.1/Net 5.

Full re-write of a legacy payment application into .NET Core 3.1.

Key Skills:
C# Net 5, .Net Core, ASP.NET, MVC, HTML, CSS, Accessibility, Javascript, JQuery, OO design, SOLID principals, Design patterns, Azure DevOps, Docker, SCRUM, Agile

Thoughts:
I recognised the struggles I'd had during my career, in the developers I worked with, and started to think in terms of positively impacting those around me.

I realised that mindset and mental health were being overlooked, and companies didn't seem to be aware of the specific challenges developers face on a daily basis. 

I wanted to change this. It started with the impact that technical decisions could have and later moved into a focus on mindset, wellbeing and engineering excellence.

Software Architect

Technical:
Many developers and BAs were just starting an agile transformation and struggled to grasp the benefits. 

By building trust and showing rather than telling, I brought them along on our agile journey.

A big turning point was gaining the trust of the Product Owner, who had been very sceptical under the previous leadership. 

The team was growing fast, which meant I had to improve at delegating and trusting my team, too.

With so many engineering teams across the organisation, communication was a struggle. 

To improve the situation, I arranged a bi-weekly meeting for team leads to discuss upcoming work and share technical best practices or concerns.

The result was improved communication and collaboration across teams, better reuse of code and designs, a more consistent code base, and improved knowledge sharing.

Key skills
C#, ASP.NET MVC, JQuery, HTML, CSS, Accessibility, SQL Server 2012, OO design, SOLID principals, Design patterns, TDD, Moq, LINQ, Structure Map, BDD, Selenium, SCRUM, Agile, Javascript, Knockout, CSS

Thoughts:
Having recently been made redundant, I struggled with my self-belief and confidence when I started this role. I felt like I bundled my way through the interview, and when I actually started my role, I had massive feelings of imposter syndrome. 

I doubled down on areas of mindset and mental health to improve self-belief and confidence. Very quickly I was leading by example and driving the team to the successful completion of two major projects.

Team Lead

BGO Studios

Technical:
As a Senior Software Engineer at BGO Studios, I was the lead server developer on the Remote Gaming Server (RGS) project.  

The team: 3 server-side developers, 2 mathematicians and 4 front end developers based in London. 

My responsibilities:
• Design and implement the Remote Gaming Server roadmap
• Report project status to senior management 
• Distribution of development tasks 
• Interpret complex math models and create server-side implementation
• Integrate with an admin system to view spin data
• Create simulation programs to spin the slot machine up to 500 million times to generate statistics 
• Liaise with internal and external QA teams
• Expose a REST API to be consumed by Flash/HTML5 client
• Consume REST services of gambling platform to provide user account and wallet facilities.

Games released to live::
•	Jurassic Island 
•	Jungle Trouble 
•	Satsumos Revenge 
•	Murder Mystery 
•	Aladdin and The Wild Genie
•	Jekyll & Hyde 

* Slots engine was subsequently sold.

Key skills
HTML, CSS, C#, ASP.NET MVC, SQL Server 2014, OO design, SOLID principals, Design patterns, DDD, SOA, WCF Services (REST/Soap), Test Driven Development, Rhino Mocks, LINQ, Structure Map

Thoughts:
In this role, I was once again tested from a mental strength and mindset perspective. It was both very stressful and extremely technical. I key part of dealing with the pressure and stress of this role was prioritising my physical health and really leaning on my mindset.

This helped me massively in dealing with what started out as some quite challenging relationships. I gained a great appreciation for the importance of relationships in work and also in my personal life.

Proteo

Technical:
I was responsible for delivering the product road map, defining product architecture and the functional design of new product capabilities. 

I produced technical specifications, development estimates and participated in implementation, overseeing the work of the team. 

Key skills included object-oriented design, asynchronous programming, design patterns and database design. 

I also got involved in pre-sales by providing product demonstrations to potential new clients.

Key skills
C#, ASP.NET Webforms/MVC, JQuery, SQL Server 2012, OO design, SOLID principals, Design patterns, SOA, WCF Services (REST/Soap), Entity Framework, LINQ, Bing Maps/Virtual Earth, Active Reports.NET, Telerik controls and reporting, Silverlight, MVVM, JavaScript

Thoughts:
I was the  Team Lead/Architect of the Proteo product development team. 

This was the first time I had led a team and I really started to see the importance of patience, support and the massive significance of mindset and mental health. 

This was both from my own perspective and from the perspective of my team members too. 

Leaning on my mentors, I started to develop my leadership style but more importantly, I started to develop my self-belief, confidence and communication skills.

Team Lead / Architect

Tournament.com

Technical:
Tournament.com was an online gaming site where customers paid to compete and potentially win money based on their performance in the game. 

As a software engineer, I was responsible for the full development life cycle of the Tournament.com client, a downloadable windows forms application. The purpose of the application was to register and launch third party games. It also provided a wealth of information to customers about services available including promotions, offers and tournaments. It allowed users to chat and join scheduled tournaments for their chosen game.  My key responsibilities were:

Producing technical specifications for the Tournament.com client.
Designing and implementing a multi-threaded application.
Usage of design patterns.
Usage of object oriented design to streamline the application code and ensure that it was concise and maintainable.
Release management.

Key skills 
C#, Winforms, ASP.NET, SQL Server, OO design, SOLID principals, Design patterns, Multi-threading

Thoughts:
This role turned out to be a technically challenging and high pressure job. I learnt a lot about how not to achieve work/life balance. Luckily, the work was really interesting and the people were good fun.

Software Engineer

Homeserve

Reward Scheme project

Key skills 
VB.NET, Winforms, ASP.NET, SQL Server, OO design, SOLID principals, Design patterns

The aim of this project was to motivate engineers to reduce remedial call outs by awarding\deducting points which translated into a regular bonus. This saved the company significant costs and increased productivity in 75% of the depots up and down the country. Key aspects of my role were:

Object orientated programming, n-tier architecture.
Adhering to strict coding standards, participating in peer code reviews.
Transformation of functional requirement documents into technical specifications and designs.
Accurate time keeping as all time was logged to monitor costs of different projects.
Communicating effectively with depot users, other developers and senior management.
To provide regular statistical analysis of the performance of all aspects of the job tracking system.

IT Systems Developer

💚 Helping Developers & Leaders Balance Wellbeing and Success 🚀 | Software Developer | Leader | Mindset Coach | Personal Trainer | Mental Health First Aider

With over 24 years of software engineering experience and 3 years spent coaching software engineers and software engineering leaders on their mindset and wellbeing, I'm currently combining this skill set as a Software Engineering Manager.

I aim to positively impact the Software Engineering industry by highlighting the importance of mindset, mental health and wellbeing within high-performing teams.

My ambition is to run the software engineering function for a huge company so that I can shape the culture and ways of working on a large scale and hopefully gain wider traction across the industry.

I've spoken at an international tech conference about the importance of mindset, wellbeing and mental health in the software engineering industry.

In my teams:

I value great communication, collaboration and empathy.

A growth mindset, a positive attitude, and a thirst for continuous improvement are key qualities I look for.

Taking responsibility for our thoughts as well as our actions is extremely important.

I encourage my team to prioritise their wellbeing and their physical and mental health.

We focus on what we CAN do, not what we can't...

We focus on small individual habits...

And small team-level habits...

That compound over time...

The direction of travel is the most important thing. 
Always improving, even by the smallest amount. 
The speed at which we improve can vary massively, but we consistently move in the right direction.

Richard Donovan

bd buddy

Co-Founder & CTO

Delivery Hero

Company:
As the world’s leading local delivery platform, we work with a large global ecosystem of riders, restaurants, shops, and partners. From prepared meals to groceries, flowers, coffee, and medicine… we deliver whatever you need – fast, easy, and to your door.

Responsibilities:
* Refactored part of the platform to gain product effort and increase revenue by 65% YoY.
* Created a project and then led a team with innovative solutions to reduce time to market(10x) and achieve ambitious business goals about scaling and adding new products.
* Reduced go-to-market time by up to 2 times by new infrastructure, CI/CD optimization, and new architecture/solution according to business needs.
* Created initial version of SDKs(iOS, Android, Web. Flutter) for partner integration.
* Participated in guilds to drive new and innovative solutions/best practices.
* Built the front-end and back-end chapters in the department.
* Aligned observability, monitoring, and alerting tools across the tribe.
* Created tribe-level rules and best practices for frontend and backend engineers.
* Worked with C-level executives on hiring process improvements.
* Supported customer requests including on-call and incident management.
* Coached and mentored engineers about technical and personal growth.

Stack: JS/TypeScript, ReactJS, NextJS, MobX, TravisCI/DroneCI/GH Actions, ES6+, TypeScript, Bash/Shell, Webpack, jest/@swc, Swift, Android, Golang, k8s, Terraform, Docker, Cloudflare, GCP, AWS.

Staff Software Engineer

EIS Ltd

Company: 
EIS is an insurance software company that enables many of the world’s leading insurers to innovate and operate like a tech company: fast, simple, agile. Our cloud-native platform for high-velocity insurance enables insurers to grow by realigning their business model around the customer.
"Speed to market is more important than ever in the insurance industry. Insurers with core systems that are able to support rapid introduction of new products and new ventures have a distinct competitive advantage."

Responsibilities:
* Collaborate closely & efficiently with product management and other departments to build new products(including PoC) and features according to the business requirements with technical solutions with best practices;
* Experience in consulting internal and external teams about technical questions(8 teams at least);
* Experience in maintaining and improving stability, performance, scalability & security of the systems and services you own;
* Strong analytical and problem-solving skills with clear business focus, refactoring legacy, provide efficient solutions and approaches;
* Experience in mentoring and growing your people and teams on a daily basis to form an excellent engineering organization and culture, introduction for engineers in the company from Zero to Hero;
* Experience in creating documentation, guidlines, workshops for engineers to keep focus on business value instead spread it on tech debs;

Stack: JS, ReactJS, MobX, Jenkins, ES6+, TypeScript, Bash/Shell, Webpack, Storybook, Lerna(Microfrontends), enzyme.
Sub-Stack: JavaCodeGen, RxJS.

Team's size: 8+

Lead Software Engineer

Skywind Group

Company:
Successful international mobile and social gaming software development company. Minsk office is a part of a vast multinational group of companies that has offices worldwide and employs thousands of professionals in IT technology, design and marketing

Responsibilities:
* Experience with building teams from scratch as well as joining established teams as a tech/team/architect leader.
* Experience in maintaining and improving stability, performance, scalability & security of the systems and services you own;
* Experience in creating documentation, guidlines, workshops for engineers to keep focus on business value instead spread it on tech debs;
* Experience in mentoring and growing your people and teams on a daily basis to form an excellent engineering organization and culture, resolving conflicts;
* Collaborate closely & efficiently with product management and other departments to build our products and features.

Project 1:
Details: New version of lobby for customers.
Team size: 4
Stack:
 ReactJS, NextJS, Redux, Redux-saga, Docker, socket-io, REST API, TypeScript, NPM packages, Jest, Mocha, Enzyme, NodeJS, Storybook.


Project 2:
Details: Gambling widget for help our business make users game-time effectively.
Team size: 4
Stack:
 ReactJS, PReact, Svelte, Redux, Redux-zero, MobX, Docker, socket-io, REST API, TypeScript, JFrog, Jest, Mocha, Enzyme, NodeJS, Python(v3)

Technical Lead Developer

Full-stack engeener
Project #1
Position: Full-stack engeener.
Team size: 13

* Created UI.
* Developed Back-end(Node.js).
* Worked with proxy on NodeJs.
* Developed Api for exchange data with ServerApi.
* Api for back-end NodeJS.
* Created integration with different providers.

Stack: ReactJS, Redux, jest, mocha, NodeJs(+proxy), firebase, socket.io, riot, svelte, docker, jenkins, typescript.

Project #2
Position: Full-stack engeener.
Team size: 7

* Created UI(landing page, BO, features).
* Create integration with API.
* Developed Back-end(Node.js).
* Developed Api for exchange data with ServerApi.
* Developed new features.

Stack: ReactJS, Redux, jest, mocha, NodeJs, socket.io, PReact.js, redux-zero, docker, story-book, typescript, redis, kafka, jfrog, kubernetis, mongoDB.

Full Stack Engineer

SourceZon

SourceZon is a supply chain sourcing and networking platform focused on sourcing and marketing.

We help buyers to source exactly what they are looking for as well as help suppliers to market their products and find new customers or business partners in new markets. 

Please follow and signup for upcoming early release. Please send all your questions and requirements to support@sourcezon.com

Should you like to be listed in our database please request access to our platform via the same email.

Mission
To make sourcing the most effortless and joyful process in supply chain

Vision
To create opportunities for every business in the global market

Software Developer

SivinTech

Company:
Software development company with a strong team of senior experts, catering for its global clientele with innovative cost-effective solutions across different industry verticals.

Responsibilities:
* Collaborate closely & efficiently with product management and other departments to build new products(including PoC) and features according to the business requirements with technical solutions with best practices;
* Strong analytical and problem-solving skills with clear business focus, refactoring legacy, provide efficient solutions and approaches;
* Proven ability to think innovatively, problem solve systematically, collaborate cross-functionally, and work through to a solution to ambiguous problems.

Project 1:
Team size: 5 developers
Role: Full-stack developer
Stack: ReactJS + Redux / React-native
Sphere: Education

Project 2:
Team size: 2 developers
Role: Full-stack developer
Stack: ReactJS + GraphQL

Project 3:
Team size: 2 developers
Role: Full-stack developer
Stack: GraphQL + Node.js

Project 4:
Team size: 2 developers
Role: Full-stack developer
Stack: Node.js

Senior Engineer Software

Softarex Technologies, Inc.

Project 1th
Team size: 2 developers
Role: Backend developer
Stack: Node.js, ReactJS + Redux, socket-io
* Refactoring and develop modules on Node.js
* Create socket intagration
* Work with q-loud API sensors

Project 2th
Team size(Frontend): 2 developers
Stack: ReactJS +  Redux, Socket-io, Java(backend), Swagger, Jenkins, Docker
* Create business logic layer on front-end
* Created socket integration + notification
* Create architecture and refactoring started bad way code
* Create modules and components
* Integrate with server API by REST API

Project 3th
Team size(Frontend): 3 developers
Stack: ReactJS +  Redux, AngularJS 2, Jenkins, Docker
* Create business logic layer on front-end
* Created socket integration + notification
* Create architecture and refactoring started bad way code
* Create modules and components
* Integrate with server API by REST API
* Facebook integration
* Code review

Other duties:
* Write professional article
* Go to conferences
* Technical interview 
* Mentoring

Middle Full Stack Engineer

Resilio, Inc.

Full stack Developer. 
* Developed modules on BackBone
* Supported and create modules on NodeJS 
* Developed and support UI(using SASS, HTML5, CSS3 BackBone templates) 
* Worked with sockets 
* Worked with fileStorage 
* Created modules with C3.js, D3.js 
* Worked with datatables.net 
* Created flexible layabouts 
* Worked with handlebars.js
* Worked with Gulp
* Created API Documentation 
* Implemented API Documentation in the project
* Created test on python(full-test), tests for UI logic with Chai and Mocha
* Created services and middleware for REST API and working with Client side
* Worked with migrations to the new database version
* Worked with SQLite
* Worked with JIRA, Git, Jenkins
* JSON, AJAX, etc..

Frontend developer

HQSoftware

* Created UI
* Developed Back-end(Node.js)
* Developed Api for exchange data with ServerApi
* Worked with Streamer Server
* Project on react-native for mobile
* Api for back-end NodeJS
* Worked with Mongodb.

Web Development Engineer

Co-Founder @BD Buddy | Author of The Engineering Edition Newsletter | Staff Software Engineer @ Delivery Hero

I am a results-driven Staff Software Engineer with over 8 years of extensive experience in the software development field. My entrepreneurial spirit, coupled with a passion for solving complex problems, has driven me to excel in developing large-scale systems and creating innovative solutions.

Throughout my career, I have been dedicated to building high-performing engineering teams and fostering a collaborative environment. Leading by example, I strive to inspire and empower team members to reach their highest potential, driving them toward success. I am a firm believer in the power of effective teamwork and constantly work towards building cohesive and efficient teams that deliver exceptional results.

One of my core strengths lies in my ability to develop and implement robust systems architecture. With a strong background in computer science, I bring a solid foundation of technical knowledge to every project I undertake. This enables me to design solutions that are not only scalable but also sustainable, ensuring long-term success for the products and services I develop.

I am equally proficient in both backend and frontend technologies, allowing me to address challenges and deliver end-to-end solutions. Additionally, my experience in infrastructure has provided me with the necessary skills to streamline development processes and ensure smooth deployments.

As a proactive problem solver, I thrive in dynamic environments, tackling challenges head-on and unblocking others along the way. I am constantly seeking opportunities to apply critical thinking and creativity to find innovative solutions, pushing the boundaries of what is possible.

Moreover, my passion for knowledge sharing has driven me to actively contribute to the engineering community. Through mentoring, conducting workshops, and speaking engagements, I aim to inspire and educate others, helping them grow their skill sets and excel in their careers.

If you are seeking a highly motivated and adaptable Staff Software Engineer with a strong focus on problem-solving, team building, and knowledge sharing, I would love to connect with you. Let's collaborate and drive impactful results together.

Areas of Expertise:
- Computer Science;
- Frontend Development;
- Backend Development;
- Infrastructure;
- Systems Architecture;
- Problem Solving;
- Team Building;
- Leadership;
- People management;
- Knowledge Sharing;
- Collaboration;
- Public speaking;
- Mentoring;
- Coaching;

Anton Churyn

I had a realization that changed how I see myself.

Here is what I used to believe:
Self sabotage meant I was broken and needed fixing.

I would watch people try to break themselves down and wonder why some fell apart while others became incredibly strong.

What I did not realize?

I was trying to destroy a fundamental value: 
The very foundation from which all my other values, talents, and best qualities grow.

For me, it was family. 
This value was rooted in me since childhood.

After a conversation with a friend, I understood something profound:

Each parent carries a unique set of personal values formed throughout their life. 

A child becomes a blend of these two systems.

That is why we see people who combine traits that do not naturally match, like calmness paired with big ambition.

This is not a contradiction. 

It is a working together of two parts.
It is the creation of a new core made of two parts. 
And from these two basic parental value sets, new personal values emerge.

The reframe that changed everything:

→ "I need to destroy my old self"
↳ "I need to understand my foundational values"

→ "My contradictions are flaws"
↳ "My contradictions are the blend of two value systems"

The mindset shift that creates clarity:

↳ Your core values are not obstacles, they are your foundation.
↳ Understanding where your values come from is understanding yourself.
↳ That understanding becomes the foundation for change, strength, and growth.

Stop trying to destroy the foundation you are standing on.

What is one value shaped by your family that you have been fighting without realizing it?

Co-Founder @BD Buddy | Shaping the Leaders of Tomorrow | Author of The Engineering Edition Newsletter

Your negative habits compound too. 

Silently. Dangerously. 

Everyone tracks their goals and wins. 

But what happens when you audit the micro-behaviors draining your potential? 

Your bad habits don't just waste time.

↳ They rob your destiny.

- A life where invisible leaks sink your ship.
- A life where phone addiction steals 1,825 hours yearly.
- A life where procrastination patterns delay dreams indefinitely.

Consider this: 
Checking your phone 100 times daily seems harmless. 

But that's 30 seconds × 100 × 365 days. 
That's 304 hours. 
That's 12.6 full days scrolling into the void. 

Your future isn't destroyed by dramatic failures. 

It's eroded by microscopic choices you ignore.

Did you ever stop to think about living your life?

We are constantly busy living for others,
making someone else happy.

Helping them rise despite our own goals and needs.

It hit me hard when my coach asked:

"Are you happy?"
I was speechless.

Then came the thought that turned everything around?

"What makes you happy?"

We are so caught up in comparing ourselves,
living as servants to others,
that we lower our own bar of happiness.

Don't fall into this trap.

All you give to others should come from within,
not the other way around.

Avoid this foolish mistake :

→ Define the harsh truth
→ Set clear boundaries

There's a world of difference between:
Doing X for Y vs Doing X with Y.

Remember:
The more you do for others,
the less happy you become if you are not taking care of yourself.

Instead:

→ Do together.
→ Rise together.
→ Honor your deepest values.

Curious how to start?

Make a reflection list:

→ What I want to do.
→ What I don't want to do.

Begin small:
Each week, choose one from each list.

You will see the difference.
You will feel it.

P.S. When was the last time you put yourself first?

I used to think love meant saving people. 

Now I know it means something different.

Here is what I used to believe:

Good relationships meant protecting people from their mistakes.
I would see someone struggling and immediately try to rescue them.

What I did not realize?

My rescuing was stopping their growth and mine.

Coaching helped me understand I am moving in the right direction through leadership, not rescue. 

It changed my people pleasing into the ability to guide and support instead.
This changed how I view partnership.

In true partnership, you do not stop someone from making the mistakes they need to make. 

You continue to see the light in them and inspire them to move in the direction they choose, but only to the extent they trust you.

Think of it this way:
We all carry our own mental models of the world. Imagine your path as a road with walls along it.

You may see those walls as solid and impossible to pass.

Your partner may see something different: a wall that can be climbed, walked around, or passed through by finding a hidden doorway.

Sometimes what you see as an obstacle only exists in your mind, and the presence of another person helps you see that.

This is the Michelangelo effect: 
Two people who help one another become better, like shaping your best self while your partner points out where refinement is needed.

The reframe that changed my relationships:

→ "I need to fix their problems"
↳ "I need to trust their process"

→ "Love means stopping their pain"
↳ "Love means seeing their light through their pain"

Stop trying to save people from the journey that is shaping them.

What is one way you have been "helping" that might be holding someone back?

People can tell when you are running on empty.

Here is what most people believe:
If they just work harder, push more, say yes to everything, they will eventually feel fulfilled.

Take on every project.
Help everyone who asks.
Be available whenever needed.

What they do not realize?
They are letting people use them as a personal bank while their own vault is empty.

The truth about energy and relationships:

People naturally move toward those who deposit into their vault. 
Someone who brings clarity, calm, direction, or encouragement.

There is nothing wrong with that. 
Humans stabilize one another.

Trouble begins when someone running a deficit tries to use you as their emotional bank.

You become the one supplying reassurance, organization, emotional regulation, guidance, or patience.

At first, it feels good to help.
But over time, the withdrawals pile up.

Their expectations become heavier.
Their disappointment hits harder.
Their frustration lands deeper.

The relationship becomes tilted. 
Not because anyone is wrong, but because the ledger is real.

This is true in engineering teams, families, friendships, and leadership.

A team that only withdraws through emergencies, poor communication, unclear roles, and constant firefighting eventually collapses under invisible debt.

A leader who deposits consistently through clarity, feedback, boundaries, and psychological safety creates a surplus that everyone benefits from.

Energy is always transactional, whether we acknowledge it or not.

The shift happens when you stop being everyone else's bank and start managing your own vault first.

Because when your vault is empty, you have nothing real to give anyone.

More on this soon. 

But first, check your own balance sheet today.

Are you depositing into yourself? Or only into others?

You have spent years wondering why you feel burned out despite doing all the right things.

The answer is simpler than you think.

It is the personal balance sheet.

Not one made of money or assets, but of energy, attention, patience, creativity, and health.

Picture this:
You wake up each morning with 100 coins in your vault.

Every action either deposits coins or withdraws them.

Some deposits are small: 
A five minute walk, a glass of water, a moment of stillness.

Others are bigger: 
Rest, meaningful reflection, deep connection, a workout you enjoyed.

And then there are the withdrawals:

Rushing. Arguing. Multitasking into oblivion.
Saying yes because you are scared to disappoint.
Stretching beyond your limits. Ignoring your signals. 

When you start thinking about life through this lens, everything suddenly makes sense.

You can spend the day doing positive things and still end the evening drained.

None of this is an emotional mystery. It is arithmetic.

The sneaky withdrawals cause the most damage:

→ Saying yes because you are scared to disappoint
→ Carrying problems that are not yours
→ Pretending you are fine when you are not

These are tiny leaks. 
And like a pipeline with a pinhole, they become catastrophes if ignored.

The shift happens when you ask three questions every day:

What drains me?
What restores me?
What small shift can I make today?

Remove one recurring drain, and you free more energy than you expect.

When your vault gains strength, everything changes: clarity returns, creativity comes back, patience expands.

You become your own bank again: 
Self sustaining, reliable, resilient.

Read the full article from my Newsletter edition in the comments below.

What is one small withdrawal you could remove from your life today?

You did everything right today and still ended the evening completely drained.

Morning run. Check.
Helped a friend. Check.
Productive work. Check.
Healthy meals. Check.

So why do you feel emptier than when you started?

Here is what you need to understand:

Life is not a scoreboard of good intentions.
It is a balance sheet of energy transactions.

You can do positive things all day and still end up in the negative.

Because while you were depositing energy in some areas, you were bleeding it in others without realizing it.

The constant context switching at work.

The guilt driven yeses.
The unrealistic deadlines.
The multitasking that left you scattered.
The arguments you could not walk away from.

Those withdrawals were bigger than your deposits.

And here is the part most people miss:
When your vault dips below zero, you start borrowing on emotional credit.

It works for a while. 

You push through. 
You ignore the signals.
You override your instincts. 

But credit always comes due.

The body collects. 
The mind collects. 
Relationships collect.

Think about it this way:

What if you woke up with 100 coins each morning? 
What would you spend them on? 
What would you protect them from?

More on this soon.

For now, ask yourself: 
Are you actually depositing more than you are withdrawing?

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The Battle

Richard Donovan

Anton Churyn

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taplio

The Battle

Richard Donovan

Anton Churyn

Followers

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Engagements

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Performance Score.css-goub6s{font-size:var(--chakra-fontSizes-md);font-weight:500;color:var(--chakra-colors-gray-600);display:block;margin-top:var(--chakra-space-1);}Anton Churyn's LinkedIn Performance

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