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I'm an operator documenting what I've learned building revenue engines over the past decade.

CEO @ MSP Sales Partners. Managing Partner @ Repeatable Revenue. Former PE-backed CEO. Former Managing Director at the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. Spent six years building sales systems for Robin Robins (TMT, sold to PE). Built revenue engines for 100+ service businesses.

I write about what I've learned: how sales systems actually scale, the difference between activity and productivity, why hard choices matter more than hard hours, building a business without burning out.

This isn't guru content. It's lessons from the work... what I got wrong, what finally clicked, patterns I see across businesses, frameworks that actually held up under pressure.

I write for three types of people: Strategists thinking about exits and scale. business owners stuck at a plateau trying to break through. Thinkers who want to build intentional lives, not just businesses.

If you're one of those (or all 3), follow along.

Ray J. Green

6 years ago I started posting on LinkedIn because I actually enjoyed creating content. 

I also had a decent amount experience turning around sales teams & businesses using some unorthodox practices. 

So, I wrote about it. 

And wrote about leaving the C-Suite, moving my family to Cabo, and figuring out how to generate income from a Mexican beach. 

My wife and a couple friends were the only people who liked my posts. Sometimes not even them. 

But I actually enjoyed the process. And I wrote just about every day. It was easy. It was light. It was enjoyable. 

With just 3 or 4 likes per post (I don't have many friends), I even managed to get a couple clients from content. They saw a post, looked at my half-assed "optimized" profile, and hired me to give them advice. 

Shortly after that, creating content became a task. Something I had to do every day to be seen and known. To generate some business. 

Sit down. 
Think of something to write. 
Hammer out a post. 
Make it look pretty with descending lines. 
Post. 
Every day at the same time. 

It started to consume every morning. 

Then I learned that commenting on everyone else's posts helped my posts get more reach. So I'd block time every day to "engage" with people's content. A couple hours a day... on a slow day. 

Then I decided to start "batching" content, sitting down and hammering out 6 or 7 posts in one setting and scheduling them all out in advance. 

Then I started recycling content, taking old stuff, refreshing it, and adding it to a second publishing slot for the day. 

Before long, I was cranking out 21 posts a week and racking up who knows how many hours of commenting. 

For all intents and purposes, I was a machine. 

And that's before AI got added to the mix. 

But along the way, I stopped enjoying the process. 

I managed to systematize the joy out of writing. 

Content was forced. Engagement was forced. 

I wasn't sharing a viewpoint I felt strongly about. I wasn't enjoying the process. I was just "building an audience" and generating leads. 

And to some extent, that's perfectly fine. It's LinkedIn. We're all here to do business in one way or another. Myself included. We all gotta eat. 

But today I made a decision: I'm going to start spending more time doing things I genuinely love doing. And one of those things is writing for the sake of writing. 

Not for leads. Not to check a box. Not at a specific time. Not on a schedule. Not in conjunction with 7 hours of commenting on other people's posts. 

But for the joy of it. 

And hoping it adds value in one way or another to someone else here. Even if it's back to 3 or 4 likes per post. 

This post is the first stab at that. And I'm already enjoying this process a hell of a lot more. 

If you want to follow along, comment "WRITING" to receive my.... kidding. 

You'll never see another handraiser post like that from me again. But that's a post for anther day. Maybe tomorrow. But then again, maybe not. 

See you around.

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OCAS 2.0

It took me 40 months to break $40k/month as an independent consultant. If I started again, I'd do it in a fraction of the time. I created this course - and share it for FREE - to help others do exactly that: https://www.rayjgreen.com/digital-course

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Chief Executive Officer

Managing Partner

Writer & Podcaster 

Expert In Residence: Sales & Sales Management

CEO @ MSP Sales Partners | Man. Partner @ Repeatable Revenue | Ex-PE Backed CEO | Former U.S. Chamber Man. Director

When people say, “just stay consistent” or “it’s about volume,” what I hear is: work hard, cross your fingers, and hope you get lucky. 

Just read a post from a popular ghostwriter on how to go viral. His hack? Just have to keep posting. 

Over the weekend watched a YouTube video from a popular business guru on how to find the right growth strategy. Solution? You just have to keep trying new things until it works. 

But if you take this advice literally, and completely, you’re essentially saying “Just keep doing shit until you get lucky.”

And if you’re wired anything like me, that’s not going to fly. Not is it going to be sustainable. 

Volume does matter. Consistency does matter. 

But just like driving to the office everyday doesn’t train you to be an F1 race car driver, volume and consistency aren’t enough. 

It’s intentional volume. Combined with focused reflection and aggressive iteration. 

A critical mass of effort done on purpose. Then regularly reflected on to discern what’s working and what isn’t. And adjusting accordingly. 

Volume without intentionality and iteration is wasted energy. Or lottery ticket-type betting. 

And a good way to burn out.

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My inner critic is a loud SOB.

Good workout? 
You could've gone harder. 

Eating okay? 
Could be cleaner. 

Time with your kids? 
Could be more present. 

Productive at work? 
Could've done more.

It never stops.

I used to fight it. Try to quiet it. Tell myself that I should be easier on myself, like everyone says you should.

And you know what happened?

It made things worse.

Because then I had the critic AND a voice criticizing the critic. 

Layering noise on top of noise.

So I stopped fighting.

I realized my inner critic is a feature. Not a bug.

That voice... the one constantly pushing me... is what I credit for jumping literal generations for my family.

Growing up with divorce. Absent father. Broken homes. In a foster home at one point. Not a lot of money. Or formal education. And layers of other challenges. 

Today? Happily married. Two healthy boys who know nothing of that instability. MBA from a top school. Living in Cabo. Traveling the world.

That tough critic that pushed me said "This is not for you. You can do better. You will do better."

And I did.

Here's the nuance though.

I've learned to allow the critic to push my actions. My habits. My standards.

Without allowing it to define my worth.

I can accept that my actions will never be "enough" while also knowing that I am enough as a person.

And that's a big effing difference.

One keeps you sharp. 

The other keeps you whole.

Dropped a podcast expanding on this a bit if you're interested: https://lnkd.in/eAm7GyPn

Most salespeople treat discovery like a podcast interview.

"Tell me about your business. How many users? What's your current setup? Walk me through your IT history."

Like you're only there to gather information and collect facts.

And I promise you it's costing you deals. 

Something that's helped the hundreds of consultative sellers I've coached: 

Discovery isn't information gathering.
It's the first step of a strategic close. 

Run a bad discovery and the rest of the process is going to pay the price. 

Example for IT companies:

Bad discovery: "How many servers do you have?"

Good discovery: "How is IT accelerating your growth or holding it back right now?"

One gets you data. The other gets you business impact—the ammunition you need when you're actually trying to close the deal 3 weeks later.

The same thing happens in assessments.

Example for IT companies: 

You find cracked passwords. You find too many O365 admins. You document the vulnerabilities.

Then you present them like a checklist: "You have X problems."

But the MSPs who close? They explain why that matters: "You have cracked passwords on essential systems. Let me tell you what happened to a company last month when a disgruntled employee knew they were leaving…"

Every step in your process—from first call to final proposal—has one job: move the deal forward.

Not educate. Not inform. Not "let them think about it."

Move. The deal. Forward.

I shared a podcast on this, and why despite the stigma attached to it, it really is Always Be Closing. 

I explain why and how here: https://lnkd.in/e7SVFiVx

Years ago I gave my wife terrible business advice.

Not because it didn't work.

But because it did.

She had a custom baby bedding business doing $25K/month on Etsy. Six-month waiting list. Countless 5-star reviews. People literally begging her to make "just one more."

She asked for my input.

I looked at all the indicators and told her what any business advisor would say: "It's time to scale."

She had some resistance. "Yeah, but I love sewing."

But she pushed on.

She hired people. Built systems. Went from spending her days doing what she loved—talking to customers, designing patterns, creating with her hands—to managing quality control and dealing with employee issues.

The advice worked. The business scaled.

And she fucking hated it.

Her initial resistance? That gut instinct she had?

Spot on.

She didn't want to build a business. She wanted to do the thing she loved and get paid well for it. Those are two completely different games.

My advice was biased by what I believed a business should be. Not what her business could be for her.

I see this happen quite a bit. And I'm more aware of it having gone through my wife's experience with her. 

I recorded a podcast breaking down: 

→ Why you should pick advisors carefully (even if you love them)
→ Why product-market pull doesn't mean you should scale
→ How to filter advice so you build the right thing (for you, not for them)

Listen in here: https://lnkd.in/eCtMPwpn

I wish there were more 'right' and 'wrong' calls in business. But what I've learned from 20 years of leading teams, divisions, and businesses? 

It's a lot more "good bet vs bad bet' and a lot less 'right decision vs wrong decision.' 

Regardless of whether you're running $500K business or a $500M business, when you're making high level decisions about where the business should go, you're operating with uncertainty. 

You may be 55% sure on some days. 90% sure on a good day. But that's the job description. 

The problem is, I see this crush a lot of founders. 

They go this direction. Then that direction, Start this project. Change to that project. Pick this priority. Then that priority. 

It's exhausting just to watch. 

Even more exhausting to do. I know from experience. 

I recorded a 10 min podcast for any founder or business leader that's felt overwhelmed by uncertainty. And anyone that's let that uncertainty lead to perpetual pivots and indecision. 

You can tun in here: https://lnkd.in/eVNUZDuY

The thing you're most certain about in your business is probably the exact thing keeping you capped.

Just took my kids to a Museum of Illusions in Utah. Your brain swears things are true that aren't—by design.

Same thing happens in business. 

I've spent a lot of time this past year with founders of $200M businesses. And founders of $2M businesses. 

Biggest difference between them? 

A few simple beliefs. 

I break down what this looks like in a 10 min podcast. 

Tune in to listen here: https://lnkd.in/eCpt5-i7

Our 4th graders were begging for cell phones. 

Parents made a pact: rewind the clock & meet 'em halfway. 

No smartphones... 

But they were genuinely thrilled to get these retro beauties instead. 📞✨

You know why so many salespeople waste 10 minutes talking about the weather?

Because they think being liked is the same as being trusted.

It's not.

Here's how I think about it:

If I needed brain surgery, I wouldn't pick the surgeon who makes great small talk.

I'd pick the one who asked questions that prove they've seen my exact condition 50 times before.

Likability gets you in the door. Credibility gets you the deal.

(If you are selling anything of high importance.) 

But there's the psychological trap a lot of reps fall into:

Small talk feels safer. It's comfortable. It doesn't require you to demonstrate expertise or challenge assumptions or risk saying something that might make the prospect uncomfortable.

So you hide behind it.

You talk about dogs and football teams instead of asking the question that might make them think: "Wait, maybe our current IT setup isn't as solid as we thought."

Real rapport is built on confidence, not comfort. 

Confidence that you know their industry. That you've done your homework. That you're not afraid to respectfully push back when they tell you something that's not accurate.

I recorded a podcast breaking down: 

→ Why people confuse likability with trust (and how to fix it)
→ The preparation work that builds real credibility
→ How to show up as an expert, not an order taker

Listen to the whole thing here: https://lnkd.in/eDs2mfSZ

There's a name for what happens in a business when leaders have no spine. 

You know what I'm talking about. When the people responsible for making the tough calls... just don't. 

They ignore underperformance. 
Avoid difficult conversations. 
Procrastinate making hard decisions. 
Or just never make them at all. 

From a business standpoint, it's called 'management debt.' 

'Management debt' compounds just like financial debt. 

It destroys cultures. And it can stunt growth just as much as irresponsible financial debt can. 

I recorded a quick podcast breaking down: 

→ What management debt is (vs. real leadership)

→ The compounding impact it has on companies 

→ How to keep it from accumulating in yours 

Tune in here: https://lnkd.in/eT3aBrt2

One of the biggest challenges with digital marketing is remembering that the people in your feed aren’t the people buying your stuff. 

(Unless you sell products and services to online creators.) 

I’m guilty of forgetting this myself. 

I scroll here and see a bunch of people using AI in really cool, new ways. 

That gets baked into my head when creating a podcast or YouTube video on AI. 

Then I go to an event and talk to my actual customers and prospects and realize, they’re not using AI in their sales process in some of the simplest ways. 

But it’s not just with AI. It’s with all our messaging. 

We have what’s called “the curse of knowledge.” 

When we forget what it’s like to not know what we know so well. It’s a trap a lot of experts fall into. 

So, reminder (to myself as much as anyone) to spend a little more time creating for the people we want to listen. 

Not other creators.

I'm on Facebook the other day and see an ad: "Every sales expert is telling you the same lie—you need to build rapport before you sell."

The pitch? Buy my $37 course to learn how to sell without rapport.

If you read on, you'll see this supposed sales expert was making a common mistake: 

Confusing rapport with small talk. 

Rapport = trust & credibility. 

Small talk = likability. 

Talking about the weather. The local football team. The family pictures on the desk.

That might make you likable. But it doesn't make you credible.

And if you're selling anything of real importance to someone, likability only goes so far.

Think of it this way: If you need brain surgery, are you going with the doctor you like most, or the one you trust to get the job done? 

I recorded a podcast breaking down the common misconception. 

In it, I break down:

→ Why small talk doesn't equal rapport (and what does)

→ How to establish credibility in the first 5 minutes

→ The questions that prove you're an expert, not just likable

→ Why rapport is an ongoing process, not a one-time event

Listen now: https://lnkd.in/eDs2mfSZ

We all have beliefs that aren’t true. Every single one of us. 

The question is: How much are those beliefs holding us (or our business) back? 

Last week we took our beach kids on a ski trip to Utah for a few days. 

(“Dad, is that real SNOW?!?!) 

We had an unexpected delay in Salt Lake City and stopped by the Museum of Illusions—which is basically an hour and a half of mind bending experiences. 

It’s display after display of, “How in the hell is that happening?” 

And what it comes down to is your brain creates shortcuts with limited data. It stitches information together in a way that makes sense… but isn’t true. 

Like this picture. 

The tops of both of these boxes are the same size. Hard to see. But they even give you a block to hold over it to confirm. 

It’s harmless in this controlled environment. 

But what if the tops of these boxes represented a critical belief you held about something of importance that was holding you back. 

You know, the belief that: 

— “This business just doesn’t have the potential.”

— “That idea will never work.”

— “I’ve got to have [money, experience, connections, etc]  before I can do that.”

— “I’m too [young, old] to do this.” 

— “That channel doesn’t work anymore.” 

And what if it was just completely… wrong? 

An illusion that was holding you back from a monumental shift and achieving what you wanted. 

I've spent a lot of time this past year with entrepreneurs who've built $50M, $100M, $200M businesses.

I've also spent a lot of time with entrepreneurs who are struggling to get there. 

And the biggest difference I see is their belief systems. 

Founders who struggle to get to the next level typically have a belief that’s holding them back. Something they know to be true… that simply isn’t.  

A common one being that they are more essential to day-to-day operations than they really are. 

The question I’m asking myself today: What am I dead certain is true… that isn’t?

How about you?

The MSP owner on the phone with me sounded defeated.

His sales rep had just spent three weeks and 20+ hours on what looked like a perfect fit.

Discovery had uncovered real pain points. The assessment was thorough. The proposal meeting went well—good questions, engagement, positive energy.

Then... nothing.

Not a “no thanks.”
Not a “we’re going with someone else.”
Not even a “we need more time.”

Just complete radio silence after weeks of investment.

“This keeps happening,” he told me. “How do we stop bleeding time on deals that were never going to close?”

This was my response:

mspsuccess.com

Stop Chasing Dead Deals: How to Read Your MSP Prospects Before They Ghost You

Build your social capital and influence ◼ Over 10,000 clients served in 17 years ◼ Co-Host and Founder, Art of Charm

🔥 Command Presence. Real Influence. No Fluff.

Already invested in coaching or leadership programs… but still feel like something’s missing?

You’ve got the credentials. The hard skills. Maybe even the title.

But if your career growth is slowing because your communication hasn’t caught up — you’re not alone.

Most professionals hit a ceiling when soft skills become the differentiator.

And that’s where I step in.

❌ The truth about most coaching:

Leadership courses? Too generic.

Corporate training? Too political.

Communication books and TED Talks? Great in theory, useless in high-stakes rooms.

You need targeted, practical coaching built around your professional world — not some academic framework.

✅ What You’ll Get Working With Me

10 hours. One-on-one. Personalized. Intensely practical.

We’ll work together to:

Decode high-stakes conversations and make your communication hit harder.

Amplify your influence in rooms filled with executives, engineers, investors, or stakeholders.

Build your “X-Factor” — a powerful personal presence that earns trust fast.

Unleash your Social Intelligence — command the room, influence anyone, and forge relationships.

You’ll never watch a video or sit through fluff. This is tactical training designed for results.

💥 Plus: Join the X-Factor Accelerator

An exclusive, implementation-based group for high performers. Inside:

Get real-time feedback from other driven professionals.

Practice frameworks in live drills.

Build executive presence and influence with accountability.

👊 My Credibility
19+ years in influence, leadership, and communication development.

10,000+ clients across tech, finance, military, and consulting.

Coached U.S. Military Special Forces & Intelligence Units.

Host of a podcast with 450M+ downloads featuring world-class scientists and performance experts.

For the Analytic Mind Turned Leader.
For the Founder Now Fundraising.
For the Operator Who Needs Buy-In Fast.

If you’ve already tried “the other stuff” and still aren’t getting the results — let’s fix it.

DM me.

Let's turn communication into your competitive advantage.

AJ Harbinger

Most people think first impressions are about confidence.

They're dead wrong.

People form a judgment about you in 3 seconds.

Before you finish your sentence. Before your credentials matter.

And it's not what you think.

I've trained thousands of leaders on this.

The ones who command rooms don't walk in looking confident.

They walk in, making others feel seen.

Here's what they do:

1. They acknowledge people before they need something from them

2. They remember small details from past conversations

3. They make others feel heard, not impressed

The irony?

Trying to look confident makes you look nervous.

Making others feel important makes you look powerful.

First impressions aren't made by what you project.

They're made by how you make people feel.

What's your first impression strategy?

A client lost a $2M deal because he was too confident.

He came to me frustrated. Perfect slides. Every answer rehearsed. 

Complete certainty in his solution.

The competitor who won? 

Spent the first 15 minutes just asking questions.

"I had the better product," he told me.

"I knew exactly what they needed."

That was the problem.

He knew what they needed.

He never asked what they wanted.

Influence isn't about having answers. It's about asking questions that make people feel understood.

I coached him for months after that loss. 

Same thing kept happening. 

Executives prepare their pitch. 

Leaders rehearse their points. 

Everyone focuses on projecting confidence.

Nobody prepares to be curious.

We changed one thing.

He started writing down 3 questions about each person before every conversation. 

Not questions that lead to his solution. 

Questions about their actual situation.

What are they really trying to solve?

What have they already tried?

What would success look like from their perspective?

He won the next 4 deals in a row. 

Same product. Same company. 

Different approach.

The most influential people I've coached aren't the most confident.

They're the most curious about other people's worlds.

What's your take on this?

Most people think being smart gets you promoted.

They're dead wrong.

I've coached 400+ executives. The ones who advance?

They're not the smartest in the room.

They're the most visible.

Here's the frustrating truth:

Your coworkers aren't too busy to help you.

They just don't see you as someone worth helping.

Your ideas aren't being stolen.

They're being credited to whoever speaks up first.

Your boss doesn't know your value.

Because you haven't made it visible.

Smart people assume quality speaks for itself.

It doesn't.

Visibility speaks.

The executives who get promoted do 3 things:

1. They speak in the first 5 minutes of every meeting

2. They share credit publicly (which makes people want to give them more)

3. They make their work visible before it's finished

Being smart is the entry fee.

Visibility is what gets you the seat at the table.

Which of these do you need to work on?

Some of the smartest people I know never get promoted—and it has nothing to do with skill.

I started working with a brilliant engineer, Daniel, who kept getting passed over for leadership roles.

He had the technical skills.
He worked insane hours.
Yet consistently watched less qualified people climb the ladder above him.

Sound familiar?

I've found the hidden factor that determines who rises and who stagnates has 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 to do with your technical abilities or work ethic.

It's emotional intelligence.

And here's the thing most "career experts" won't tell you: 𝐄𝐐 isn't some touchy-feely concept. It's a concrete skill set that can be methodically developed like any other.

I watched Daniel transform his career in just a few months after focusing on this 𝐎𝐍𝐄 area.

We worked on reading the emotional temperature in meetings, growing his influence on the team and across departments, and not letting stress get the best of his communication.

Three months later?

Promoted with a $34K raise.

Why does this work so powerfully?

Because careers aren't built on skills - they're built on 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒. And relationships are built on emotional intelligence.

The cold truth:
• Your technical brilliance means nothing if people don't want to work with you
• Your hard work goes unnoticed if you can't effectively communicate its value
• Your leadership potential remains invisible if you can't connect with others

Want to stop watching less qualified people get promoted above you?

Focus on these three 𝐄𝐐 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐬:
1. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 to read the emotional undercurrents in any room
2. 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩 the ability to influence without authority
3. 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 composure under pressure (this alone separates leaders from workers)

The professionals who master these elements don't just succeed - they create opportunities that others never even see.

The fastest way to grow your network isn’t asking—it’s giving.

And it's not just about being generous.

Giving is essential for building strong connections.

It transforms the way you interact with others,
so you can create meaningful relationships.

Studies show the impact of giving:

• It leads to stronger networks.
• It creates loyalty among contacts.
• It boosts your reputation.
• It opens up new opportunities.
• It's essential for building trust.

If you want to expand your network...

Be generous, don't hold back,
and practice giving.

Here's how:

1. Offer help without expecting anything in return.
Small favors can make a big difference.

2. Share your knowledge.
Provide valuable insights to those who need them.

3. Connect people.
Introduce contacts who can benefit from knowing each other.

4. Give your time.
Spend a few minutes assisting someone in need.

5. Follow up.
Show that you care about their progress.

Giving is doing, not just saying.

Network with it.

You'll see your connections grow stronger.

The loneliest people I coach are the most successful.

A private equity partner came to me after closing a $200M deal.

He had 10 direct reports, sat on three boards, and couldn't name a single person he trusted enough to be honest with.

Success had isolated him completely.

Here's what happened.

He spent 15 years optimizing for external validation. 

Promotions. Deals. Recognition. 

Every choice prioritized career advancement over connection.

The moment he hit his goal, he looked around and realized he had no one to celebrate with.

His friends from business school had families now. Different priorities. His team respected him but feared him. His partners were competitors wearing friendly masks.

This is what I see with executives who break through to senior leadership. The skills that got you there are the exact ones that keep you isolated.

Independence. Self-reliance. Working harder than everyone else.

You were rewarded for it. Now it's killing you.

The fix isn't another networking event or executive mastermind. Those add contacts, not connection.

The fix is propinquity. Showing up to the same place with the same people until familiarity builds trust.

One client joined a weekly trail running group. Zero professional angle. Just showed up every Saturday morning at 7am. Six months later, three of those runners became his closest advisors. One introduced him to his next business partner.

Another client started hosting monthly dinners at his home. Same eight people. No agenda. Just conversation. Within a year, that dinner table became his personal board of directors.

The pattern is simple.

Consistency over time creates the safety needed for real relationships. You can't force depth. You build it through repeated exposure in low-pressure environments.

After coaching thousands of executives on social capital, I can tell you this:

The professionals who break through isolation don't add more events to their calendar. They commit to fewer places with higher frequency.

Your third place matters more than your office or your home. Find it. Protect it. Show up.

The influence you're chasing doesn't come from accumulating contacts. It comes from people seeing you as familiar, trustworthy, and consistent over time.

That PE partner? 

He joined a BJJ class. 

Made zero professional connections. 

Gained three real friendships. 

Said it saved his mental health.

Your network isn't built in a weekend.

She walked into the board presentation with perfect posture.

Designer suit. Every answer rehearsed.

Bombed it completely.

The senior director came to me confused.

"I did everything right. I looked confident. I sounded confident. What happened?"

I asked her what the board members cared about most.

She couldn't tell me.

Executive presence isn't about how you show up.

It's about how you make others feel when you're there.

I've coached hundreds of executives over 18 years. The ones with real presence aren't the most polished.

They're the most present with other people.

That director was so focused on appearing confident, she forgot to make anyone feel heard.

We shifted everything.

Instead of rehearsing her answers, she researched each board member. What they cared about. What questions they'd likely ask. What mattered to them specifically.

She was surprised by how much that changed her preparation.

Next presentation, she didn't perform confidence. She demonstrated understanding.

The board stayed 20 minutes past the scheduled end time. They asked follow-up questions. They leaned in.

They invited her to strategy sessions she'd been trying to get into for 2 years.

When you walk into a room worried about your presence, people feel your anxiety.

When you walk in genuinely curious about their perspective, they feel seen.

That's executive presence. Not polish. Connection.

How do you show up in high-stakes moments?

The most important skill to develop in 2026 isn't AI fluency or data analysis.

It's validation.

And I don't mean fake compliments or empty praise.

Here's what I mean.

Your colleague shares a frustration about a project timeline. Most people immediately jump to solutions or worse, minimize the concern.

"That's not that bad."

"You should see what I'm dealing with."

"Have you tried just working harder?"

None of that is validation.

Validation means acknowledging another person's experience as real and legitimate. Not agreeing with it. Not solving it. Just recognizing it exists.

Watch what happens when you master this.

Someone shares a challenge. You respond: "That sounds genuinely difficult. Walk me through what happened."

That's it.

No advice. No comparison. No minimizing.

You just acknowledged their reality.

What's really important is this creates psychological safety. People feel seen. And when people feel seen, they trust you.

Trust opens doors that credentials never will.

I tested this with a client who kept getting passed over for leadership roles despite exceptional technical skills. His feedback was always the same: "Not ready for executive presence."

We focused entirely on validation in meetings.

Instead of immediately proposing solutions, he learned to say: "Help me understand the constraint you're working with."

Instead of defending his ideas when challenged, he'd respond: "That's a fair concern. What would make you more comfortable?"

Three months later, he got the promotion.

Nothing changed about his technical abilities. Everything changed about how people experienced talking to him.

Here's what validation does that most people miss.

It reveals information others won't share. 

When people feel validated, they tell you what they're actually thinking. Not what they think you want to hear.

It builds influence without authority. 

You don't need a title to make people want to work with you.

It creates opportunities. 

The most valuable connections come from people who feel genuinely understood by you.

Let's be honest. 

Most executives are terrible at this because they were rewarded their entire career for having the right answer fast.

But leadership isn't about having answers. 

It's about making people feel safe enough to share the real problem.

Stop trying to prove you're the smartest person in the room.

Start trying to make others feel heard.

Your opportunities will multiply.

People aren’t ignoring you because they’re busy.

They’re ignoring you because you lack influence.

If you're putting in effort — reaching out, inviting people, following up — and getting little back… It's not bad luck.

It's a low Influence Index problem.

I had a client last month. Senior software architect. Smart guy. He'd invite colleagues for drinks after work.

Radio silence.

He'd suggest team lunches.

"Maybe next time."

He'd organize weekend events.

Two people showed up. Out of 15 invited.

His first thought? 

"People are just busy."

Wrong diagnosis.

Here's what was really happening:

People didn't see value in connecting with him. 

Not because he wasn't valuable — he was brilliant. But because he hadn't built influence.

Influence is what makes people want to come to you.

Without it, effort gets wasted.

Think about it:

→ When certain people invite you, you clear your calendar

→ When others invite you, you find excuses

Same invitation. Different response.

The difference? Your Influence Index.

High influence people don't work harder at invitations. 

They work smarter at relationships.

They:

→ Add value before asking for time

→ Connect people to each other first

→ Build reputation through consistent actions

→ Make others feel important, not impressed

My client started applying this. Within two months, he was getting invited to events.

Same person. Same invitations. Different influence.

The invisible skill you're missing isn't more effort. 

It's the influence that makes effort work.

Build influence first. Invitations second.

A VP came to me with 2,000 LinkedIn connections.

Couldn't get a single person to take his call.

He thought he had a network.

He had a contact list.

Networking advice tells you to meet more people. Collect more cards. Grow your connections.

I coached him for a year while he did exactly that. Three events per week. Twenty new connections per event. Generic follow-ups to everyone.

Zero meaningful relationships.

He was frustrated and didn't realize why. "I'm doing everything right. I show up. I connect. I follow up."

You know what changed everything?

We cut his networking in half.

One event per week instead of three. Five real conversations instead of twenty surface-level ones.

And the follow-ups?

Instead of "Great to meet you" to everyone, he sent personalized messages referencing actual conversations he had.

What they discussed. What stood out. What he remembered.

Within 90 days, 3 of those 5 people became clients.

One introduced him to what became his biggest account.

He was relieved by how much simpler it became.

Most people chase breadth. Successful people go deep with the right people.

Quality over quantity sounds obvious until you realize you're collecting contacts instead of building relationships.

Depth beats breadth. Every single time.

What's working for you in networking?

Your network isn't the problem, it's who you're keeping around.

The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.

Invest in your peers and colleagues and watch your career flourish.

Develop high-value relationships and watch your dreams become reality.

Find the right partner and achieve more than you ever imagined.

Never settle for less in relationships.

When you index your relationships on…

❌ Proximity

❌ Length of time you have known each other

❌ Fear of being alone

❌ Or convenience

You sell yourself short.

Instead focus on forging relationships on…

🤝 Shared values

🤝 Emotional support

🤝 Big dreams

🤝 And quality time spent together.

Building relationships is the lifeblood of your success.

The longest study of human happiness, The Harvard Study of Adult Development, linked your well-being to deep relationships.

Build better relationships and watch your health, wealth and success follow.

Which raises the question…

How satisfied are you with your relationships?

You're in your head and everyone knows it.

A client told me he dreaded networking events.

Every conversation felt like work. He'd run out of things to say within minutes.

I asked what he was thinking during those conversations.

"What should I say next? Do I sound interesting? Should I tell that story about the client project or is that too much?"

He rattled off the entire internal monologue.

"Is this going well? They seem bored. Maybe I should ask about their job. But that's generic. What else can I..."

All internal.

Nothing about the other person.

Conversations feel forced when you're worried about your next line instead of noticing what's actually happening.

Great conversation isn't about what you say.

It's about what you notice.

Their energy shift. 

What topics make them lean in. 

Where they actually want to go deeper.

We practiced a simple shift.

Stop planning your next point. 

Focus entirely on them.

What made their eyes light up just now? 

What topic did they gloss over that might be more interesting if you asked about it?

Next event, he was surprised by the difference.

Conversations lasted 20 minutes instead of 5. 

People asked for his contact. 

They actually followed up.

Forced conversation happens when you're performing.

Natural conversation happens when you're participating.

The difference is where you put your attention.

What helps you stay present?

After years of leading change, I’ve learned this the hard way.

Data doesn’t drive buy-in. Stories do.

During a coaching session last week, she confessed to me the 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 reason her digital initiative suddenly took off after months of resistance:

"𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘢. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘴𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘕𝘦𝘵𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘹 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬."

Let me explain what happened...

After countless failed attempts to get buy-in on a major digital transformation project, one team member casually compared their journey to Netflix - you know, the company that started with those red envelopes in the mail?

The room fell silent.

Then something magical happened.

Suddenly, 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄 could see the vision. 

The same executives who had bored in previous meetings were now enthusiastically on board.

All because of a 30-second story about Netflix's evolution from mail-order DVDs to streaming dominance.

Here's why this works like nothing else:

✅ 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞: Everyone knows Netflix. It's like explaining quantum physics through football. Instant clarity.

✅ 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞: Complex ideas need simple vehicles. Netflix's journey from mail to mobile is the perfect metaphor for transformation.

✅ 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥: Stories bypass logical resistance. They stick because they make us FEEL something.

This isn't just nice-to-have fluff. It's the difference between brilliant ideas that die in PowerPoint hell and ones that get implemented.

Look around your organization - I guarantee the most influential leaders aren't just the smartest. 

They're the best storytellers.

The good news? 

Unlike technical skills that take years to master, you can deploy this technique in your very next meeting.

What transformation are 𝐘𝐎𝐔 trying to lead? 

What familiar story could make it click?

AICI Certified Image Consultant

Elevate Your Professional Communication and Influence

Struggling to enhance your professional network and social capital? I understand the challenge of building genuine relationships that propel your career forward.

Here's the reality:

❌ Traditional networking tactics often fall flat.
❌ Generic leadership courses rarely deliver personalized results.
❌ Many coaches provide incomplete skillsets, leaving you with gaps in your professional development.

I offer a transformative solution: 10 hours of intensive, one-on-one coaching directly with me. 

No fluff, just straight talk and direct access to nearly two decades of expertise.

What sets my approach apart:

✅ We'll refine your social intelligence and amplify your influence – without tedious videos or unnecessary travel.
✅ Together, we'll craft your unique communication style to showcase your true value in any professional setting.
✅ I'll teach you to recognize and leverage subtle conversational cues, enhancing your ability to connect and persuade.

But that's not all:

Join my exclusive X-Factor Accelerator group for hands-on practice. Here, you'll:

👉 Receive real-world feedback on your communication skills.
👉 Engage in practical exercises with like-minded professionals.
👉 Participate in implementation sessions to hone both verbal and non-verbal communication.

My track record speaks volumes:

🔹 Nearly 20 years of experience in professional development.
🔹 Over 10,000 success stories from clients across various industries.
🔹 Collaborated with top researchers and experts in interpersonal relationships and leadership development.
🔹 Worked with Military Special Forces and Intelligence Agencies to enhance their communication strategies.
🔹 Our podcast boasts 400M+ downloads with cutting edge experts and scientists joining every week.

Whether you're aiming to:

🫡 Lead your team more effectively
👊 Nail that crucial presentation
🛜 Expand your professional network with ease
💼 Or simply become more influential in your field

I have the blueprint to transform you into a magnetic communicator and leader.

DM me today and become someone who is magnetic.

Want to get coached on the exact system that grew our podcast to over 400M listens and 17+ years of coaching 10,000+ professionals rapidly grow their social capital and build a high-value network?

Apply here to see if it's a good fit.

Apply to Work with Me

(These timeless laws helped me grow our podcast to over 400M downloads and 17+ years of coaching experience with over 10,000 happy clients )

[Free Training] 💰 Social Capital Networking Strategy. The 3 "Counterintuitive" Laws to Rapidly Growing Your Network Without Sleazy Tactics, Transactional Interactions or Being Inauthentic

Elite Human Dynamics Newsletter

David Goggins & The Art of Mastering Your Mindset - Art of Charm #730

Kobe Bryant This is how you be great - Art of Charm  Ep.#746

Become Dynamic

Most people think their network is too small.

They're wrong.

It's too shallow.

I watched a VP attend 50+ events last year. Hundreds of connections.

Zero meaningful relationships.

Then I worked with a partner at a top firm. Knows maybe 30 people well.

Never needs to job search. Opportunities find him.

The difference?

He goes deep. Most people go wide.

Here's what deep networking looks like:

1. You remember their problems, not just their job title

2. You solve something for them before asking for anything

3. You check in when you don't need something

Most professionals network like they're collecting LinkedIn connections.

High-influence people network like they're building a board of advisors.

Your network isn't your net worth.

Your depth is.

Who's one person you should go deeper with this week?

The harder you network, the less influential you look.

Coffee invites.
Cold messages.
Event small talk.

You’re doing all the right things — and still chasing momentum.

Here’s the hard truth: 

High-influence people don’t chase.

They generate pull.

And the difference isn’t luck.

It’s 𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘺.

Most professionals make the same mistake.

They try to create relationships through pure effort.

Cold outreach.

Aggressive networking.

Forced conversations.

This approach burns you out and repels the exact people you want to connect with.

Here's what I've learned after coaching thousands of clients:

The most connected people focus on becoming someone others want to know.

They build value first.

They solve problems consistently.

They show up as experts in their field.

This creates social gravity. 

People get pulled into their orbit naturally.

Think about the professionals you seek out.

Do you chase them?

No. 

You find reasons to connect with them.

That's the power of social momentum.

Stop chasing. Start building.

35 of 36 students in our last XFA cohort said the same thing.

"I didn't realize building rapport was this simple."

They weren't doing anything complicated. Just 4 things most people skip:

Match their energy, not yours. If someone's thoughtful and measured, don't bring high energy. If they're animated, don't stay subdued. People trust others who feel familiar.

Use their exact words back to them. They say "frustrated with the process," you reference "the process" later. This isn't manipulation. You're speaking their language instead of making them translate yours.

Ask the second question. Everyone asks "How was your weekend?" Almost nobody asks "What made it great?" The first question is politeness. The second shows you're actually listening.

Remember small details they share. Their daughter's soccer tournament. The project they're stressed about. People remember who remembers them.

Those students reported back within days that conversations felt completely different.

People opened up faster. Meetings went smoother. They got responses to follow-ups they'd been chasing for weeks.

One student was surprised by how quickly it worked. "I thought rapport took time to build."

It does if you're trying to be charming. It doesn't if you're paying attention to someone else's world instead of performing in your own.

Which of these do you already do naturally?

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The Battle

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AJ Harbinger

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