Non-wanky SEO and SEO Content. They say you can't know Technical SEO AND copywriting - I can. And do.

You're probably only here to see what type of person uses the word 'wanky' in a business profile, and that's OK.

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I help B2B business owners get found on Google with non-wanky SEO. Because there's a lot of wanky SEO advice out there. I explain it in proper English, I don't promise miracles, and I won't try to sell you a course on optimising for traffic sources that account for less than 1% of your visitors.

If you're fed up with SEO advice that makes your brain hurt, I've spent 30 years learning what works and what's complete bollocks. While everyone else is losing their minds over AI search or "GEO" , I'm over here focusing on the stuff that brings in actual traffic and actual enquiries..

WHAT I OFFER:

♦️On-page and technical SEO for businesses that need to show up in Google searches that matter. From £750

♦️SEO copywriting for websites and blogs. The kind that brings in leads, not just people who click away after three seconds. From £450

♦️The Non-Wanky SEO Course (£750, payment schedules available) if you want to learn this stuff properly without someone talking at you like you're five.

♦️The Non-Wanky On-Page SEO Toolkit (£200, payment schedules available) for the quick wins you can sort out yourself.

♦️The SEO Fucking What? Newsletter - weekly -  and Podcast, where I spend 15 minutes a week ranting about whatever's currently annoying me in the SEO world (and telling you what to do instead). Free.

WHAT I WON'T DO:

♦️Promise you'll be ranking number one by next Tuesday.

♦️Charge you hundreds for tactics I could explain in ten minutes.

♦️Talk in jargon when normal words exist.

♦️Take your money if I don't think I can help.

My mornings start with SE Ranking and Google Search Console, because guessing is for people who like wasting money, and data is where the insights come from.

I've been doing this since before SEO was even called SEO, and I can tell you what drives traffic versus what gets sold in flashy courses that cost £3000.

Whether you need someone to sort out your SEO, want to learn it yourself, or just need to know why Google's ignoring your website, drop me a message.

Fair warning: if you don't need my help, I'll tell you that too.

Nikki Pilkington

Website Owner: "We made the URLs more SEO friendly."

Me: "How?"

Website Owner: "Changed them from stuff like /page123 to proper words. /services, /about-us, that kind of thing."

Me: "Good idea. Where do the old URLs redirect to?"

Website Owner: "What do you mean?"

Me: "If someone clicks an old link, or Google tries to crawl the old URLs, where do they go?"

Website Owner: "They'd go to the old page."

Me: "The old page doesn't exist anymore. You changed the URLs."

Website Owner: "..."

Me: "So they go nowhere?"

Website Owner: "I suppose."

Me: "Every backlink you've ever earned. Every page Google had indexed. Every link from your social posts. All pointing to pages that don't exist."

Website Owner: "But the new URLs are better."

Me: "..."

#SEOFuckUps2026

non-wanky SEO. Yes, non-wanky. Yes, I know - it’s OK if I’m not for you. Thanks.

Me: "What happened to your website?"

Website Owner: "My nephew made some updates."

Me: "What kind of updates?"

Website Owner: "He knows about websites. Does it at college."

Me: "What did he change?"

Website Owner: "Just tidied a few things up."

Me: "Your H1s are gone. Your meta titles all say 'Home.' Half your pages are returning 404s. And your site's running on a theme from 2014."

Website Owner: "He said it looked better."

Me: "You've lost 60% of your traffic."

Website Owner: "He only charged us fifty quid."

Me: "..."


#SEOFuckUps2026

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?

...

RIGHT?

#LinkedInFuckups2026

Website Owner: "We deleted our case studies."

Me: "Why?"

Website Owner: "They were a few years old. Made us look outdated."

Me: "How many?"

Website Owner: "Twelve of them."

Me: "Were they ranking for anything?"

Website Owner: "I don't know. Maybe?"

Me: "Did you check before you deleted them?"

Website Owner: "..."

Me: "Did you redirect them to anything?"

Website Owner: "No, they're just gone."

Me: "So twelve pages of real project examples, with client names, locations, and industry terms that Google loved..."

Website Owner: "Gone."

Me: "Because the dates looked old."

Website Owner: "We were going to write new ones."

Me: "When?"

Website Owner: "..."

#SEOFuckUps2026

Some people really don't like women, do they?

Someone (who shall remain un-named unless he wants to out himself) put one of my LinkedIn posts into an AI system and asked it if it was written by AI or human. 

Obviously (thankfully!) it said it was human. 

I tried it myself - put the same post he mentioned into ChatGPT to see what it said. 

It said the things that made my post human were:

1) Consistently strong voice and personality
2) Messy, uneven rhythm
3) Specific, unglamorous metaphors
4) Genuine motive mixed with mild self-sabotage*
5) Tone consistency with personality, not “brand voice”

My un-named "checker of posts to see if they're AI but not in a bad way" then tried to get AI to use the things it had said made my post human to write him a similar (he used the word copy, I'm being nice) post - and it couldn't. In his words, "it was bad".

And honestly, I should probably be annoyed by the fact he even bothered checking in the first place, and should definitely be annoyed by him trying to use my post to get one of his own, but I just find the whole thing kind of amusing. 

Because if AI can't copy me, and people feel the need to try to copy me, then I guess I'm doing something right, right?



*Genuine Motive Mixed With Mild Self-Sabotage is going to be the title of my autobiography one day.

I can't tag the person involved as he has blocked me, and even naming him made LinkedIn remove the post as harassment, so, you wonderful people will have to comment or DM me to find out who it is.

Please DON'T tell any one that the person I am speaking about is an idiotic plagiarist who copied every word of at least 2 of my posts (I mean who leaves the hashtag that only I'm using in the post FFS?).

Oh, and also, DON'T think that him pouting and blocking me because I refused his connection request is a bit childish.

Oh, and then writing a post about me, thinking no-one would send it to me - DON'T automatically assume that he's a bit of a twit. (I do see the irony, yes.) 

Oh, and as I don't use AI to write my LinkedIn posts, DON'T assume that him claiming that he got the exact same words because we both used AI is a lie, because it must be possible for that to happen (it's not).

Oh, and DON'T think anyone is a coward for deleting his plagiarised posts, especially not him.

(Finally, and I'm serious here - FEEL FREE to think I am stupid in so very many ways, but please DON'T ever, ever call me a fucking guru.)

#LinkedInFuckups2026
#SEOFuckups2026
#StupidSEOGurus

P.S. Probably best NOT to repost this, or click the hashtags above to find out who it is.

Did you make your whole site password protected "just while we made a few updates"?

For six weeks?

Google tried to crawl your site. Got a login page. Assumed your site was gone. Dropped your pages from the index.

The updates look great though.

#SEOFuckUps2026

Did you add pop-ups to every page to "capture more leads" and now your site takes 12 seconds to load?

Google stopped waiting after 3 seconds. So did your visitors.

But hey, at least that newsletter sign-up box nobody wanted is working great.

#SEOFuckUps2026

Google chaos (again zzz), pages that earn nothing but still matter, and the GEO rant that made a few people uncomfortable.

Hey hey! Google's been having another wobbly week. Rankings jumping around, visibility shifting, the usual chaos that happens more often than not thes

Open article: Google wobbles, zero-traffic pages, and why I'm disappointed in SEOs by Nikki Pilkington • 3 min read

Google wobbles, zero-traffic pages, and why I'm disappointed in SEOs

"You know what Google needs? To be a different colour. Not better documentation for website owners. Not AI results in GSC, oh no, not those useful things.  Colour options, that's what we want."

said no-one ever...

Open article: Google Search - Add Splash Of Color by f.mtr.cool

The Digitech Marketer

Hi, I'm Megan, a freelance writer with over 6+ years of digital marketing experience. 

Since becoming self-employed in August 2021, I've been lucky to work with a variety of, brands mostly in the B2B space, from Agtech, Fintech, and the manufacturing industry. 

I've also worked with other agencies and freelancers to produce original content across multiple digital marketing channels, with an emphasis on web content, social media posts, and email marketing. 

Here are just a handful of my achievements:

✅Grew two Agtech LinkedIn pages from under 1000 followers to 6000 followers in 6+ months
✅Successfully grew an email list to 10,000 subscribers in under 6+months 
✅Helped small businesses reach the #1 position for competitive keywords 

Having worked in technical sectors, I've developed a knack for breaking down complex complex topics and creating engaging, comprehensive blog content. 

My secret? 

I use storytelling methods to craft long-form blog posts that leave readers wanting more. 

Interested in working with me? 

Check out my bio for more information.

SEO Content Manager 

AllPoints Fibre Networks

As Sales and Marketing Coordinator at APFN, I'm responsible for aligning the sales and marketing teams and providing them with assistance in the following areas:

-Order processing: Ensuring all incoming sales orders are processed accurately and in a timely manner 
-Salesforce administration: Ensuring Salesforce data is accurate and customer accounts are well-maintained according to the requirements of the sales team 
-Events planning and execution: Assisting in the planning and executing of company events 
-Campaign management: Planning, executing and reporting on the success of marketing campaigns 
-Data analysis: Providing analysis on sales and marketing data 
-Content creation: Assisting the marketing team with creating content across digital channels including blog posts, social media posts, and video content
-Netsuite administration: Processing incentives on netsuite

Sales and Marketing Coordinator 

Rock Out Stand out

Music Journalist

100 Pound Social

Blog Writer

BH&P (Becky Holland & Partners)

Content Manager

Brixx Software

Digital Marketing and Content Specialist

The Knowledge Academy

Content Writer

Direct Save Telecom

Sales Executive

Audio Addict

Metal Temple

Music Journalist 

Providing innovative content marketing solutions for creatively-minded entrepreneurs in the Fintech, Edtech, and Agtech spaces.

Hi, I'm Megan, 

A digital marketer with 6+ years of experience in B2B tech industries with a focus on SaaS product marketing. 

In 2025, I started The Digitech Marketer to help tech brands bridge the gap between technical expertise and real-world clarity in their content. 

Here's what I do:

✔ Content writing for tech brands: From blogs to white papers and case studies, I make content which makes complex topics digestible and entertaining 
✔ Thought-leadership content: I help you develop and execute digital marketing strategies, which position you as a thought leader 
✔Product & SaaS marketing copy: Landing pages and sales page that communicate value without the fluff 
✔Storytelling for innovation: Whether you're pioneering AI, a cloud solution, or next-gen hardware, I make sure your value is understood 

Why work with me?

✔Tech meets marketing: I speak both languages - the precision of technology and the persuasion of marketing 
✔Clarity without compromise - I simplify your message without dumbing it down 
✔Engagement that converts - I craft content that informs and inspires action 

Who I help 

I work with progressive and leading tech brands looking to further their presence with story-driven content: 

✔SaaS: I've spent the past 6+ years working with a range of SaaS brands in Fintech and telecoms wholesale to create content that directly contributes to business growth 
✔Wholesale tech brands: Whether you're in the telecoms industry or the FMCG space, make your product stand out with valuable, no-nonsense content 
✔Service providers: Whether you're in cybersecurity or cloud computing, I'll work with you to translate your tech into clarity-based messages 

How to work with me 

The first step to working with me is to book a quick discovery call. 

In this discovery call, we'll discuss what your needs are, what your biggest digital marketing problems are, and carve out any solutions to those problems with ideas for a brand-spanking new strategy. 

Once you've had a discovery call, I'll send a proposal which outlines the project scope, timeline, deliverables, and budget. 

When you're satisfied with everything, we'll handle the payment and get you started with onboarding. 

Sounds simple right? It's because it is. 

You can start on your path to better content today by booking a call below 👇

taplio

The Battle

Nikki Pilkington

Megan Taylor

Followers

Posts

Engagements

Likes

Performance ScoreNikki Pilkington's LinkedIn Performance

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taplio

The Battle

Nikki Pilkington

Megan Taylor

Followers

Posts

Engagements

Likes

Performance Score.css-goub6s{font-size:var(--chakra-fontSizes-md);font-weight:500;color:var(--chakra-colors-gray-600);display:block;margin-top:var(--chakra-space-1);}Nikki Pilkington's LinkedIn Performance

Ready to grow your LinkedIn presence?

Performance ScoreNikki Pilkington's LinkedIn Performance