Non-wanky SEO and SEO Content. They say you can't know Technical SEO AND copywriting - I can. And do.

You're probably only here to see what type of person uses the word 'wanky' in a business profile, and that's OK.

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I help B2B business owners get found on Google with non-wanky SEO. Because there's a lot of wanky SEO advice out there. I explain it in proper English, I don't promise miracles, and I won't try to sell you a course on optimising for traffic sources that account for less than 1% of your visitors.

If you're fed up with SEO advice that makes your brain hurt, I've spent 30 years learning what works and what's complete bollocks. While everyone else is losing their minds over AI search or "GEO" , I'm over here focusing on the stuff that brings in actual traffic and actual enquiries..

WHAT I OFFER:

♦️On-page and technical SEO for businesses that need to show up in Google searches that matter. From £750

♦️SEO copywriting for websites and blogs. The kind that brings in leads, not just people who click away after three seconds. From £450

♦️The Non-Wanky SEO Course (£750, payment schedules available) if you want to learn this stuff properly without someone talking at you like you're five.

♦️The Non-Wanky On-Page SEO Toolkit (£200, payment schedules available) for the quick wins you can sort out yourself.

♦️The SEO Fucking What? Newsletter - weekly -  and Podcast, where I spend 15 minutes a week ranting about whatever's currently annoying me in the SEO world (and telling you what to do instead). Free.

WHAT I WON'T DO:

♦️Promise you'll be ranking number one by next Tuesday.

♦️Charge you hundreds for tactics I could explain in ten minutes.

♦️Talk in jargon when normal words exist.

♦️Take your money if I don't think I can help.

My mornings start with SE Ranking and Google Search Console, because guessing is for people who like wasting money, and data is where the insights come from.

I've been doing this since before SEO was even called SEO, and I can tell you what drives traffic versus what gets sold in flashy courses that cost £3000.

Whether you need someone to sort out your SEO, want to learn it yourself, or just need to know why Google's ignoring your website, drop me a message.

Fair warning: if you don't need my help, I'll tell you that too.

Nikki Pilkington

Website Owner: "We made the URLs more SEO friendly."

Me: "How?"

Website Owner: "Changed them from stuff like /page123 to proper words. /services, /about-us, that kind of thing."

Me: "Good idea. Where do the old URLs redirect to?"

Website Owner: "What do you mean?"

Me: "If someone clicks an old link, or Google tries to crawl the old URLs, where do they go?"

Website Owner: "They'd go to the old page."

Me: "The old page doesn't exist anymore. You changed the URLs."

Website Owner: "..."

Me: "So they go nowhere?"

Website Owner: "I suppose."

Me: "Every backlink you've ever earned. Every page Google had indexed. Every link from your social posts. All pointing to pages that don't exist."

Website Owner: "But the new URLs are better."

Me: "..."

#SEOFuckUps2026

non-wanky SEO. Yes, non-wanky. Yes, I know - it’s OK if I’m not for you. Thanks.

Me: "What happened to your website?"

Website Owner: "My nephew made some updates."

Me: "What kind of updates?"

Website Owner: "He knows about websites. Does it at college."

Me: "What did he change?"

Website Owner: "Just tidied a few things up."

Me: "Your H1s are gone. Your meta titles all say 'Home.' Half your pages are returning 404s. And your site's running on a theme from 2014."

Website Owner: "He said it looked better."

Me: "You've lost 60% of your traffic."

Website Owner: "He only charged us fifty quid."

Me: "..."


#SEOFuckUps2026

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?

...

RIGHT?

#LinkedInFuckups2026

Website Owner: "We deleted our case studies."

Me: "Why?"

Website Owner: "They were a few years old. Made us look outdated."

Me: "How many?"

Website Owner: "Twelve of them."

Me: "Were they ranking for anything?"

Website Owner: "I don't know. Maybe?"

Me: "Did you check before you deleted them?"

Website Owner: "..."

Me: "Did you redirect them to anything?"

Website Owner: "No, they're just gone."

Me: "So twelve pages of real project examples, with client names, locations, and industry terms that Google loved..."

Website Owner: "Gone."

Me: "Because the dates looked old."

Website Owner: "We were going to write new ones."

Me: "When?"

Website Owner: "..."

#SEOFuckUps2026

Some people really don't like women, do they?

Someone (who shall remain un-named unless he wants to out himself) put one of my LinkedIn posts into an AI system and asked it if it was written by AI or human. 

Obviously (thankfully!) it said it was human. 

I tried it myself - put the same post he mentioned into ChatGPT to see what it said. 

It said the things that made my post human were:

1) Consistently strong voice and personality
2) Messy, uneven rhythm
3) Specific, unglamorous metaphors
4) Genuine motive mixed with mild self-sabotage*
5) Tone consistency with personality, not “brand voice”

My un-named "checker of posts to see if they're AI but not in a bad way" then tried to get AI to use the things it had said made my post human to write him a similar (he used the word copy, I'm being nice) post - and it couldn't. In his words, "it was bad".

And honestly, I should probably be annoyed by the fact he even bothered checking in the first place, and should definitely be annoyed by him trying to use my post to get one of his own, but I just find the whole thing kind of amusing. 

Because if AI can't copy me, and people feel the need to try to copy me, then I guess I'm doing something right, right?



*Genuine Motive Mixed With Mild Self-Sabotage is going to be the title of my autobiography one day.

I can't tag the person involved as he has blocked me, and even naming him made LinkedIn remove the post as harassment, so, you wonderful people will have to comment or DM me to find out who it is.

Please DON'T tell any one that the person I am speaking about is an idiotic plagiarist who copied every word of at least 2 of my posts (I mean who leaves the hashtag that only I'm using in the post FFS?).

Oh, and also, DON'T think that him pouting and blocking me because I refused his connection request is a bit childish.

Oh, and then writing a post about me, thinking no-one would send it to me - DON'T automatically assume that he's a bit of a twit. (I do see the irony, yes.) 

Oh, and as I don't use AI to write my LinkedIn posts, DON'T assume that him claiming that he got the exact same words because we both used AI is a lie, because it must be possible for that to happen (it's not).

Oh, and DON'T think anyone is a coward for deleting his plagiarised posts, especially not him.

(Finally, and I'm serious here - FEEL FREE to think I am stupid in so very many ways, but please DON'T ever, ever call me a fucking guru.)

#LinkedInFuckups2026
#SEOFuckups2026
#StupidSEOGurus

P.S. Probably best NOT to repost this, or click the hashtags above to find out who it is.

Did you make your whole site password protected "just while we made a few updates"?

For six weeks?

Google tried to crawl your site. Got a login page. Assumed your site was gone. Dropped your pages from the index.

The updates look great though.

#SEOFuckUps2026

Did you add pop-ups to every page to "capture more leads" and now your site takes 12 seconds to load?

Google stopped waiting after 3 seconds. So did your visitors.

But hey, at least that newsletter sign-up box nobody wanted is working great.

#SEOFuckUps2026

Google chaos (again zzz), pages that earn nothing but still matter, and the GEO rant that made a few people uncomfortable.

Hey hey! Google's been having another wobbly week. Rankings jumping around, visibility shifting, the usual chaos that happens more often than not thes

Open article: Google wobbles, zero-traffic pages, and why I'm disappointed in SEOs by Nikki Pilkington • 3 min read

Google wobbles, zero-traffic pages, and why I'm disappointed in SEOs

"You know what Google needs? To be a different colour. Not better documentation for website owners. Not AI results in GSC, oh no, not those useful things.  Colour options, that's what we want."

said no-one ever...

Open article: Google Search - Add Splash Of Color by f.mtr.cool

Adam Gray

DLA ignite

At DLA Ignite we empower individuals and organisations to cut through the digital noise to forge truly meaningful connections that drive tangible business results. In a world saturated with information and superficial interactions, we believe that authentic human engagement is not just a desirable quality, but the fundamental differentiator and bedrock of success.

I, shaped by the discipline of aiming for the concert hall and the dynamic, ever-changing landscapes of retail, sales, and marketing, has consistently underscored this truth.

We're not just teaching the mechanics of social media platforms; we're architecting a  shift in how businesses interact and build lasting relationships. I'm dedicated to translating years of experience into actionable strategies that enable our clients to move beyond tactics and build genuine rapport with their ideal customers. This involves a deep understanding of the nuances of online behaviour, the art of crafting resonant content often leveraging AI tools in authentic ways to enhance, NOT replace, human creativity, and fostering a mindset of genuine engagement.

At DLA Ignite, I develop the core methodologies, intellectual property, and strategic insights that underpin our success, creating a comprehensive framework that empowers individuals and teams to confidently navigate the complexities of the digital world, build connections that foster trust and spark meaningful conversations, and achieve their business objectives. We focus on equipping our clients with the knowledge and skills to not only use social media effectively, but to do so in a way that amplifies their humanity and builds lasting relationships.

We're in the business of enabling a more human-centric approach to business development. This extends to how we approach technology, ensuring that even powerful tools like AI serve to enhance, not replace, the essential elements of genuine connection, empathy, and trust that are core to successful business relationships.

Co-Founder - Head of Intellectual Property

That Album

Music has been a central part of my life for as long as I can remember so I set-up That Album with a friend during covid as a weekly chat show about great albums over the years that have shaped our lives.

Now, approaching our 150th show, I have a roster of guest hosts who join me to discuss albums that are important to them and things that were going on in the world and the band at the time. We chat about what might have been the inspiration, which songs we like and which we don't.

Come along for a bit of Friday fun and join the chat, become part of a community of people who love classic music and its power to create a shared experience. 

Why not join our LinkedIn group https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12790560/ and talk about music.

Podcast Host

Institute of Sales Professionals

The ISP are a Government-backed professional body representing sales in the UK and around the world.
We are proud of our profession and passionately believe that sales should be a chartered body - this is part of our mission.

We are bringing sales into parity with other professions by providing qualifications and lettered accreditation, underpinned by life-long learning, for those who choose a career as a sales professional.
We uphold the quality, ethics and standards of professional selling and are here to celebrate everything that is great about being a sales professional.

Leader 

The Digital Download

Contributor, occasional chair, and regular panelist on the longest running weekly business LinkedIn Live show.

We talk about business issues, the digital world and the latest trends and how the effect you in your business.

Our regular guests are leaders in their fields and give their time to help the viewers rather than to promote themselves.

Why not join ournewly formed LinkedIn group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12829604/

Mear & Gray Guitars

For almost 20 years I have been a keen amateur guitar player and collector. I am very definitely not interested in quantity but in quality and this has led me through various purchases/sales/trades to have a small collection of exceptionally fine instruments. 

Through chance on LinkedIn as the result of posting occasionally about this, I was approached by someone whose partner had decided to make a career change to become a luthier.

Seldom have I seen someone with a natural talent for woodworking as obvious as this. The level of precision is what you would expect of someone who has dedicated their entire life to this art rather than someone who has dabbled in it until now.

The first three instruments they made were exceptional in construction and in sound but as they have made more the vision has developed.

Now the instruments mainly replicas of golden era instruments such as the Martin OM-18 or OM-28 from the 1930s. These instruments are nothing short of breathtaking in feel, attention to detail and sound.

You can see some of the eye-candy here: https://www.instagram.com/mearandgray/ or on our website https://mearandgray.com

Fast-forward 6 months and this person not only asked my to advise on how to take the instruments to market but has placed my name alongside theirs on the label. This truly is a dream come true for me!

As our customer instruments have started to be delivered the feedback has been universally positive. Everyone who has played an instrument has loved them, many have ordered on the spot and a number of those have become advocates and champions for us.

Co-Founder

The RSA (Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce)

Usually I would write a description of my “role” in this section…however, the RSA has a strong mission which is written by people far more eloquent than I and they say:

The mission of the RSA (Royal Society for the encouragement of Arts, Manufactures and Commerce) is to enrich society through ideas and action. We believe that all human beings have creative capacities that, when understood and supported, can be mobilised to deliver a 21st century enlightenment.

By sharing powerful ideas and carrying out cutting-edge research, we build networks and opportunities for people to collaborate - creating fulfilling lives and a flourishing society. Through our nearly 30,000 fellows we are a source of capacity, commitment and insight in communities from the global to the local.

The RSA Fellowship is a powerful national and international network of accomplished individuals. Fellows are encouraged to engage with a wide range of the RSA’s work and to develop their own local and issue based initiatives.

Fellows have access to the brightest new ideas, innovative projects, a diverse network of like-minded people and a platform for social change.

Fellow

Oracle

Out of the blue one day I had a call from one of Oracle’s recruiters saying “we have been online looking for a social media expert and everything points to you”! The process of joining Oracle was an exhausting one, but eight interviews finally yielded a job offer.

Once there I was fortunate to have an exceptional team around me and the best boss I have ever had who, even within a huge organisation, enabled me to be entrepreneurial by “flying air cover” for me. 

This was a fantastic opportunity for me to test all of my thinking from the small and medium sized business arena on global enterprises.
 
Whilst there I worked in London, Madrid, Istanbul, Oslo, Copenhagen, Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Bahrain, Riyadh, Kuwait City, Amsterdam, Utrecht and San Francisco with some of the biggest and most well respected companies in the world.

Always, my role was to help these clients to become more innovative through embracing social media so that they could better engage their clients, help them gain competitive advantage and be more profitable. This was largely a job of education and helping them to see social media as a strategic tool.

My internal responsibility was to help support the sales process (at both a strategic and an operational level) and as an evangelist for social media in the business world so the sales teams could talk to their clients with confidence and passion about the importance of social media.

Specialities:
- keynote speaker
- social media strategy
- internal team alignment & sell-in
- process engineering
- KPI identification and benchmarking
- ROI analysis

Ultimately though, Oracle creates and sells software it doesn't create change, and both Tim and I left because we wanted to make a difference. To quote Steve Jobs "we wanted to make a dent in the universe!"

My time at Oracle taught me how to navigate the enterprise environment (both within Oracle and my clients) to get the job done. This was a vital learning and one which I have used often since leaving.

Head of Client Social Media, EMEA

Adam Gray Social Media Ltd

By this time it was clear to me that that social media was going to be a major force in communications. I provided expert advice and support to help organisations through the digital and social transformation process.

My role usually required me to work closely with senior management and marketing teams to help them devise, then implement a social/digital strategy. In the early days of this there was no such thing as “best practice” per se, so creating an environment which was effective at delivering increased engagement, improved profitability and competitive advantage was always a leap in to the unknown for clients.

Even at this point though, the challenges of “socialising” an organisation were apparent;
- organisational inertia
- lack of understanding
- fear of change
- holding-on to old practices 

These were all obstacles which needed to be overcome.

My working relationships often centred around finding a way to integrate social media with client’s existing marketing processes and up-skilling the team to the various social networks, tools and campaigns that were necessary for a successful implementation. Typically this encompassed such diverse things as; safety & security, key performance indicators, goal setting, moderating and tracking & measurement.

Sometime, clients with an established presence sought more rigorous examinations of their success, ROI and social analytics.

Specialities:
- social media strategy
- digital transformation 
- social media marketing
- social media ROI analysis 
- digital marketing strategy

This was a very exciting time for me as I felt that I was a pioneer, there was little in the way of documented process around how social media could be used for business and may of the things that I developed became part of my best selling book Brilliant Social Media (published by Pearson) which you can see more about in the publications section at the bottom of my profile page.

Social Media Marketing Director & Owner

Lemon

For 6 years Lemon worked with clients from start-ups through to blue chips, to deliver creative and targeted marketing.

We helped our clients understand why their existing marketing often didn’t work well, and then changing this to deliver big improvements through the application of the “new” social media marketing and digital marketing world which was opening up.

I was predominantly responsible for digital marketing, social media marketing, business development, client retention, strategic planning.

Our clients included:
- Hertfordshire Constabulary
- Epson
- Starbucks
- Clerical Medical 
- The Canadian High Commission
- CCLA

Specialities:
- social media marketing
- digital marketing
- marketing change strategies
- maximising marketing ROI
- branding
- focused communication

Running Lemon taught me a huge amount about delivering excellence to clients. The better the work that we did and the better we presented this work to clients, the more successful both our clients and Lemon were. This “under promise - over deliver” mentality has been with me ever since and it in part defines who I am.

Managing Director, Owner & Head of Digital Marketing

On Sabbatical

I had become a dad 6 months earlier. Restructuring meant that I was able to take a severance package from Asylum which gave me the opportunity to take 12 months away from work, which I spent with my wife and daughter - without a doubt the most rewarding year of my life so far!

being a dad!

My journey has been a rather unconventional one, starting with a singular focus on mastering the violin and a clear vision of a life on stage. When injury redirected that path, it led me through a fascinating and varied landscape of retail, sales, design, and marketing. What I've come to realise is that the core desire – to connect with an audience and make an impact – has remained a constant thread throughout. It's about understanding what resonates with people and building bridges of communication.

That inherent drive to connect and understand has manifested in unexpected ways. Whether I was trying to understand customer needs in retail, articulate a design vision, or navigate the ever-evolving world of marketing, it always came back to the human element. This curiosity about how people interact and what motivates them has always been been with me.

That's why my work at DLA Ignite feels so aligned. We're not just teaching businesses how to use social media; we're fundamentally changing how they connect with their customers and drive revenue.

Away from the professional sphere, my hands find a different kind of harmony in crafting guitars. This isn't just a pastime; it's a deep dive into the artistry and precision of creating instruments inspired by the golden era of American luthiery. There's a tangible connection to quality and a profound respect for the craft – a desire to build something enduring and resonant, much like the connections I strive to foster in my professional life. The focus is on the details, the integrity of the materials, and the ultimate sound produced.

This appreciation for craftsmanship and connection extends to how I approach the world. I'm drawn to understanding the underlying principles, whether it's the mechanics of a perfectly constructed guitar or the dynamics of effective communication. My experiences have taught me the value of authentic engagement and the power of truly understanding an audience, whether it's a concert hall, a customer base, or a group of fellow music enthusiasts.

Ultimately, what drives me is a fundamental curiosity about people and a desire to create meaningful connections. My path may have taken a few unexpected turns, from the concert hall to various industries, but the underlying purpose – to understand, to connect, and to build something of lasting value – has always been the guiding principle.

We are Modern Digital Commercial Advisors for our clients. We help them shape and execute strategies to succeed today.

The reason this matters today is that from our conversations with a huge number of organisations there are a repeating series of themes to the challenges they’re facing:

- visibility
- credibility
- pipeline & revenue
- attracting talent
- motivating and retaining talent

Most organisations know that the tools and techniques they are using no longer solve these problems. The challenge seems most acute in the sales and marketing function where the KPIs for impressions/impacts/calls/emails do not to relate to forecast and revenue in the way that they once did.

Simply tweaking existing processes won’t achieve the result that’s needed. Broadcasting to an audience that isn’t listening (and probably won’t believe even if they are) isn’t going to make your organisation look like “the obvious choice.”

If organisations wish to appear relevant to their prospects, clients and future hires they must stop using behaviours and narratives that drive people away and start to behave in a different way, a way that encourages people to walk towards them rather than back away.

This requires an innovative and brave approach to tackling these challenges but it is an approach that we have developed, implemented and refined on our own business and for a number of organisations so it CAN be done and YOUR organisation can do it.

Ask yourself “who looks like the obvious leader in my space?” if the answer isn’t you then you need to do something differently because it should be. In a world where everyone is empowered and educated and can find the answer to any question by simply tapping it in to their phone ask yourself “why would they choose the second best organisation or person?” The answer is that they won’t.

You need to have a strategy which acknowledges that the challenges are different today and they the solutions to overcome these challenges are also different.

taplio

The Battle

Nikki Pilkington

Adam Gray

Followers

Posts

Engagements

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Performance ScoreNikki Pilkington's LinkedIn Performance

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taplio

The Battle

Nikki Pilkington

Adam Gray

Followers

Posts

Engagements

Likes

Performance Score.css-goub6s{font-size:var(--chakra-fontSizes-md);font-weight:500;color:var(--chakra-colors-gray-600);display:block;margin-top:var(--chakra-space-1);}Nikki Pilkington's LinkedIn Performance

Ready to grow your LinkedIn presence?

Performance ScoreNikki Pilkington's LinkedIn Performance