Meghann Misiak

Hi, I'm Meg 🔮 You've officially entered the weird, witchy, & colorful side of LinkedIn.

When I'm not delivering snarky sales takes, anti-hustle energy, & a whole lotta magic to your feed...

I'm helping salespeople absolutely crush their goals... without crushing their soul in the process.

And yeah... I get it.

I used to believe success meant staying later, pushing harder, & sacrificing everything for the number on the board. That a bigger paycheck, fancier title, & president's club would finally make me feel happy.

But instead, I burned out. HARD.

😮‍💨

So I've spent the last 5+ years rethinking everything I thought I knew about success, sales, & the corporate ladder.

Now... I work with sellers who are doing really well on paper, but deeply, *existentially* exhausted. Who are wondering if & when it gets any easier. Who are at the top of the leaderboard & trying to figure out why they don't feel confident or proud.

I help those sellers on 3 things:

→ Tactical, client-centric, & deeply human sales strategies to make selling effective AND fulfilling
→ A mantra of "effort-LESS abundance" to figure out how to win more with less effort
→ The tools to regulate your nervous system & regain your life, hobbies, & ability to manage stress

The results tend to surprise people.

Yes, my clients hit #1 on their team, get promotions, & become legends at their company. But they also close their laptops earlier. Have energy for their relationships & hobbies again. Write books. Speak on stages. Launch creative side projects they didn't think they had space for.

💜

If these sound like goals you can get behind, feel free to book a no-pressure consult with me (linked in the featured section) to explore.

Director of Enterprise Sales

Working to help the New Retirement team & our clients find new levels of success through elite, enterprise sales strategies at an organizational level. Building a team & results that are predictable, scalable, & repeatable. Maintaining the organization's incredible culture while redefining what's possible.

I'm so happy I could cry...

(ok I probably will cry, bc its me.)

🥹 

This week, a lot of big changes...

→ Moving in with my partner
→ Slow walks around my new neighborhood
→ Speaking allllll of the Spanish
→ Getting the COZIEST comforter

And of course...

Finding my new fav matcha spot.

🍵 

Things are still not fully setup...

There's little piles of things to unpack EVERYWHERE.
I have a full AI apartment redesign in a presentation.
And my stress & anxiety are um, a lil high.

But...

It feels so exciting to step into a new space, a new phase of life & my relationship, a new opportunity to grow & love & build community.

Sometimes change is just so... freaking... good.

💜 🤩

Meghann Misiak 🔮

F*ck Hustle Culture 💜 | The Sales Witch 🧙‍♀️ | Coaching Top Sellers to Win More & Work Less 🧘‍♀️ | Big Fan of Flowers, Fiction, Matcha, & Cats 😸 | LinkedIn Lunatic ™️

Now I'm no robot but um....... WTF IS THIS????

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I think I should start a new sales series called "WTF Wednesdays"

I didn’t celebrate hitting 15k followers (!!!!) soooooooo.....

I guess it's time for one of those "let me re-introduce myself" posts.

Bc I actually *do* like things other than matcha.

💃

A few fun & ridiculous facts about me:

- I’m obsessed w karaoke & have a full “sing” playlist on Spotify which I BELT out when I’m feeling blue. Also I was in “show choir” in high school (like Glee 🤣)

- I freaking love cats & cat memes are my love language (please flood my DMs, no like… seriously). And I am regularly wearing like 3 different (often clashing) cheetah print items. All cat errrthang.

- I love anything crafty… right now I’m super into collage, watercolor, oil pastels, & pickle-ing (??) & my apartment looks like I have kids bc it’s covered in my often very bad art.

- I cannot stand mornings or the cold & am under a heated blanket for 99.9% of my Zoom calls. My happy place is anywhere WARM. I also am NEVER looking for advice for how to wake up earlier. I am owl.

- I absolutely geek out on sci fi & speculative fiction… from classics like Asimov to modern gems like NK Jemison & I have watched Star Trek Deep Space 9 THREE times. Jadzia Dax is my fav character.

Oh and I'm a Capricorn Sun, Virgo Moon (send halp), & Taurus rising (explains the heated blankets) bc like do we even know each other if we don't know our 3 signs???

🥹

And most of all...

 I freaking LOVEEEE growing this lil community of cool, witchy, & wonderfully weird people on this platform!

Thanks to every single one of you for following along.

Petition to normalize saying "I don't have the bandwidth" when what you really mean is "I don't want to."


🔮 💜 🧙‍♀️

I publicly committed to filling 12 coaching spots in 2026. It's been messy, surprising, & kind of terrifying in the best way...

 
 
🫠 💜 

Last year, I shifted from $30K+ consulting gigs to my real passion: coaching. 

And while that sounds like a nice LinkedIn post...

No one really talks about the absolute *eclipse of the soul* that happens when you move away from social norms to follow your dreams.

→ questioning everything
→ my bank account absolutely draining
→ convincing myself I'd ruined my career
→ thinking I might have to get another W2 job (ew)

😅 

But also...
 
→ clients sharing so deeply & vulnerably with me
→ growing my audience of soulful sellers & clients
→ helping people get new jobs & have major breakthroughs

(I'm not crying, *you're* crying.)

🥹 

And if that wasn't scary enough, I posted about my goals regularly on LinkedIn.

(bc hey, failing in front of 15k+ people sounds FUN, huh?)

But... y'all CAME THROUGH.

On Friday, I filled my *final slot* for 1-1 coaching.... !!!!

30 COACHING SPOTS. FULL ROSTER. WAITLIST STARTING.

Thank you for trusting me with your careers, your burnout, your messy middles, and your dreams of doing sales differently.

This is just the beginning. 💜

My week: show up like a girl boss, leave like a feral raccoon.

 
🔮 💜 🧙‍♀️

Not to be dramatic. But I want to nap forever.
 
 
 
🔮 💜 🧙‍♀️

Me looking through my notes app where I write post ideas for LinkedIn...

Ok um, cool.

Maybe we’re not behind. Maybe the pace is just inhumane.

🔮 💜 🧙‍♀️

Nobody talks about the specific exhaustion of having to perform enthusiasm for things you do not care about.

Every single day.
With a smile.
On a Zoom call.

While absolutely & existentially spiraling, wondering WTF you're doing it all for.

🔮 💜 🧙‍♀️

Things harder than owning your own business....
 
  
(and um, it's pretty freaking hard.)

😬

→ Staying professional while being actively gaslit
→ Being too exhausted to have hobbies or interests
→ Explaining to your family why you're never at dinner
→ Choosing between speaking up and keeping your job
→ Realizing your "promotion" is just more work w less pay
→ Losing yourself to a job that would replace you in a week
→ Keeping a straight face during "we're like a family" speeches
→ Staying in a job that's killing you because of health insurance
→ Being told you're "resilient" when you're actually just burnt out
→ Not laughing when leadership says "we value work-life balance"
→ Realizing you've spent your entire life building someone else's dream
→ Explaining why you need a mental health day without saying "I hate it here"

🫠

Corporate will really convince you that freedom is the risky choice.

WILD.

I would simply like to be paid for all the thinking I do about work while not at work.

🔮 💜 🧙‍♀️

The person in my feed that makes me laugh AND inspires me to be better....???
 
 
🤷‍♀️ 

*drummmmmmrooolllll*

Israa Alrawi

Y'all...

This creator has it ALLLLLL.

→ absolutely *impeccable* memes
→ ridiculous jokes about life & marketing

(The first post that got me: "When I say we’re in the era of protecting your data…I mean Putin-poop-suitcase level protection." IYKYK)

🤣 💩 

But the thing I love MOST??

She is 100% unafraid to share her beliefs.

As someone who feels a little exhaustion when it comes to figuring out how to balance light-hearted positivity (or snarky satire) with how I truly feel & what I believe in...

Israa Alrawi is a beautiful example that I'm personally learning from.

Such a good follow, y'all!!

💜 

PS... This is part of my #OnSundaysWeStan series!

Follow for more up & coming creators to fill your feed with positivity, humanity, soul in 2026... and yes, sometimes our beliefs!!

How would you like to be remembered when you die?
 
 
🤷‍♀️ 

Ian M. told me about an exercise he did to write his eulogy.

And WOW what a beautiful way to think about your life, your goals, your habits, & how you're spending this one beautiful life we've been given.

(unless you believe in reincarnation like I do, & then it becomes how you want to GROW in this lifetime!!)

Here's what's on my list...

→ I want to be a beacon of light to those around me... helping them grow & inspiring them to live a rich & full life.

→ I want to be a good daughter, sister, friend, partner, & cat mom... supportive, generous, thoughtful, & caring.

→ I want to be healthy in the last years of my life... active, eating well, taking care of my body & mind, & feeling GOOD.

→ I want to lead a creative life... not just owning a business, but leaving this world with an apartment FULL of bad art & fun experiments.

→ I'd like to build enough wealth to give back... I don't need a mansion, but I'd love to be able to donate regularly & be generous with my community.

(and rich enough to afford all the matcha my lil heart desires)

💜 

Nobody's going to remember the promotions. The all-nighters. The emails you sent at 11pm to prove you were dedicated. The fancy title that made you miserable.

They're going to remember if you made them feel seen. If you showed up. If you were kind. If you were present enough to create core memories with them.

And that feels SO much more meaningful.

I don't alwayssss review Prospecting Sequences, but when I do...

Most of the time they SUCK.

Here are the most common issues I see.

😬 

1. They're too generic
You're sending the same message to a CFO & a Head of Sales. They have different problems, different priorities, different pressures. One email doesn't work for both.

2. They sound like a robot wrote them
"I hope this email finds you well." "In today's landscape." "Circling back to see if this is on your radar." NOBODY talks like this. And if a human didn't write it, a human won't respond to it.

3. They're too long
If I have to scroll on my phone to read your email, I'm deleting it. 75 words max. Use line breaks. Get to the POINT.

4. They're about you
"I wanted to reach out." "We help companies." "Our solution."
Cool. What does any of that have to do with me?

5. They trigger spam filters
And I don't mean the email spam filters... I mean human beings' eyes. "Just checking in." "Quick question." "Sorry to bother you." The second I read those phrases, I think SPAMMM! and I'm gone.

🤷‍♀️ 

PS: If you want to skip the 10 years it took me to learn this sh*t, DM me. I turned all of my knowledge into an AI prompt that builds BETTER sequences in 5 min.

LinkedIn is like the most toxic boyfriend you've ever dated...
 
 
 
😵‍💫 

You finally get ready to leave (aka stop caring about impressions) & it goes "but wait, I love you!" (your posts go viral).

And the cycle starts alllllllllllll over.

My ideal work-life balance is 20% work, 80% pretending I didn't see that Slack message.

🔮 💜 🧙‍♀️

Here's how Oprah helped me be better at sales...
 
 
😜 

Not that she knows AT ALL who I am hehehe.

But... I used to be pretty bad at slowing down, asking questions, not interrupting  on sales calls.

(ok I'm still working on that last one.)

So... I chose an alter-ego to channel on my calls.

For a LONG time, it was Oprah Winfrey.

Oprah was really good at things I wasn't.

→ She lets other people be the star
→ She listens actively & thoughtfully
→ She owns her magic & is confident AF
→ She hypes up people around her
→ She asks insightful, DEEP questions
→ She jumps in to ask questions vs. talk about herself

Before every single sales call, I would literally ask:

"What would Ophah do?"

And wow did it shift things for me.

Buyers started opening up more. Sharing things they wouldn't normally say.

Kind of like.... a coolest daytime talk show.

And WOW did that feel better than sales conversations.

🤩 

PS I only have TWO spots until I'm moving to a waitlist for 2026 sales coaching.

DM me if you'd like to learn how to sell more like Oprah & less like a freaking ROBOT.

Doxel

Recruited by former Planet leadership. Secured net-new enterprise ($B rev) customers.

Enterprise Account Executive

Planet

20+ net-new enterprise customers. Multi-year expansions. New market vertical success. Command of the Message cert. SPAC IPO

Collaborative Solutions, LLC

Workday implementation partner. Drove 225% net-new regional customer growth. Acquired by Cognizant.

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The Battle

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