The Priority Academy

As the Owner, Trainer and Coach at The Priority Academy, I run a varied business that helps individuals and businesses. Whether that be to train as a Coach or as a Mental & Emotional Health Coach for businesses who support their employees.

Founder, Trainer and Coach

ExecOnline

As a Leadership Coach with ExecOnline I coach executives and leaders of global businesses, supporting them to achieve their key personal and business goals.

ExecOnline Leadership Coach

Graham Nicholls Strategic Coaching & Training

Strategic Life Coach, Trainer, Author

Priority Intervention Coaching

Results & Success Coaching
Anxiety, Depression & Stress Recovery

Professional Coach - Results Coaching, Anxiety Conitions Recovery

Tayto Group Limited

Interim Technical Consultant assisting with preparation for Tesco PIU Audit, responsibilities included:
- Complete HACCP System re-write
- Redevelopment of the Internal Auditing System
- Allergen Risk Assessment development

Interim Technical Consultant

Adelie Food Holdings

Full Technical responsibility for a sandwich production site including 
- QA Team
- Technical Services Team
- Process Control Team
- Hygiene Team
- Customer Management on site

Interim Technical Manager

SFQC

Working with SFQC offering my services as:

- Food Safety / Technical Consultant 
- Audit Consultant 
- Red Tractor Assurance Scheme Auditor

Consultant / Red Tractor Assurance Scheme Auditor

2 Sisters Food Group

Full Technical responsibility for a Poultry cutting and packing site, including:
- Managing the restructure of the Technical Team to achieve business KPI's
- Ensure Green Tesco PIU Audit
- Ensure A Grade BRC Audit
- Manage multiple retail customer relationships on site
- Write and Impliment Quality Improvement Plan
- Team Management & Coaching

Freshcook (Bakkavor)

Interim QA Manager

Weetabix

•	Complete Technical Management for 2 factories producing wheat biscuit & flake products
•	Audit, review and improve Quality & Technical Systems
•	Complete overhaul of Hygiene systems during tender and transition process 
•	Management of complaint reduction programme
•	Drive improvement standards 
•	Preparation for unannounced BRC Audit

Interim Quality & Compliance Manager

Making Coaching Training Accessible. Founder - CoachHive & The Priority Academy. Over 150,000 people trained. Follow me for posts on Coaching, EQ, Mental Health, Mindset and more.

What the world won't tell you....

Is that training and personal development doesn't have to cost the earth!

Follow my Step-by-Step Coaching Newsletter for regular updates on how to improve your coaching and grow your business and get your free copy of my Coaching Session Success Strategy Cheat Sheet:

GO HERE -> www.coachhive.com/newsletter

I help people help other people! 

An international best-selling training provider in the areas of Coaching, Mental Health, Emotional Intelligence and Mindset.

Coaching Coaches:
Expert guidance from someone with 20 years experience as a coach. 
Coaches, if you need help please get in touch. I'll bring my 20+years knowledge and experience with me to help you thrive!

Training:
Over the last 7 years I have trained over 150,000 people in 190+ countries in the areas of mental health, mindset, strategic life coaching, NLP, CBT, meditation, mindfulness and more.

I help coaches master their skills and build their sustainable and ethical coaching business.

My portfolio:
=> I'm the founder, trainer and head coach at The Priority Academy & CoachHive
=> I have produced hundreds of hours of training content
=> I have thousands of hours of coaching experience under my belt
=> I have 7 training programs that are international best sellers in their field
=> I've coached leaders at all C-Suite levels of their business

My results:
=> Hudreds of hours of training material produced
=> 150,000 people have been trained or are training
=> A rating of 4.7 out of 5 across over 32000 reviews
=> A community of over 36,000 people
=> I have trained people in 190 countries around the world

GO HERE: https://www.coachhive.com/newsletter
To sign up for my newsletter and get your free copy of my Coaching Session Success System Cheat Sheet.

GO HERE: https://www.thepriorityacademy.com/courses-individual/
To check out my courses and super value course bundles

Wishing you success in all you do.
Graham

Graham Nicholls

She thought AI was destroying her coaching business.
But it was really her all along.

Not because she wasn't good enough.

Because fear had convinced her
to shrink before the world ever asked her to.

I coach many coaches who 
Have the same quiet dread:

"What if AI replaces me?"

AI only replaces the coaches
Who don't adapt to it.

She began doubting her value
In a way she never had before.

But fear rarely tells the truth.

Then something shifted.

Her client walked in overwhelmed

carrying a story she'd told no one else.
  
That special moment a human soul 
trusts another enough to fall apart.

That session woke her up.

Transformation is human-first. 
Tools second. Always.

She realised AI didn't replace her work 

It replaced the parts that weren't her work.
 
And what remained was all her:

The presence, emotional intelligence,
The intuition, the humanity 

Here's what she embraced 

And what every coach I work with embraces 👇

→ AI can produce answers
✅ Only humans produce meaning.

→ AI can analyse language 
✅ Only humans can feel emotion.

→ AI can map behaviour
✅ Only humans truly understand identity.

→ AI can automate tasks 
✅ Humans create trust and space.

→ AI can challenge patterns 
✅ Humans challenge stories.

→ AI can speed up preparation 
✅ Humans slow down for presence.

→ AI can support the coach 
✅ Humans help create transformation

Support is scalable.
Transformation is personal.

She didn't lose her business to AI.

She almost lost it to the story she was telling herself.

AI isn't the end of coaching.
It's the beginning of a new chapter. 

Where the most human coaches will rise the highest.

💾 Save this to remind yourself: AI can enhance coaching, but it will never replace humanity.
♻️ Repost it so that all coaches know they can adapt and thrive

➕ Follow me Graham Nicholls for more coaching and mindset insights

Founder. Coaching Coaches & Leaders who coach. Coaching Training that doesn’t cost the earth! Over 150,000 people trained. OUT NOW - Burnout Coach & Trainer Certification. See Featured section below!

This story still hurts him.
And it changed how he would lead forever.

She was the kind of person every team needs. 

She'd been with the company for years.
When she resigned, he was shocked.

He offered everything he could
But her answer cut deep.

"It's not about that. 
I just don't feel like I matter here anymore."

In my coaching work, I see this pattern constantly 
Leaders don't lose people; they lose connection.

He'd focused on performance. But not the people.

He assumed people knew they were valued,
But he rarely said it. Rarely showed it.

Rarely made them feel it.
And that's why good people leave.

Show your people they matter.
It's the least expensive part of leadership,

But it delivers the highest return.

Here are 7 simple ways to do that 👇

(you'll know these if you're a good leader)

1️⃣ Notice effort before outcome.
Catch people doing something right 
Even when the result isn't perfect. 
Recognition builds trust.

2️⃣ Ask questions that show care.
Not "How's the project going?" 
But "How are you doing with the project?" 
Small difference, huge impact.

3️⃣ Be consistent in your presence.
Leaders who show up only when things go wrong
Teach people to fear visibility. 
Be there in the calm too.

4️⃣ Give credit publicly.
Shine light on others' contributions. 
What you celebrate, you multiply.
And people notice.

5️⃣ Listen without fixing.
Sometimes people don't need answers. 
They need to feel heard 
Not managed.

6️⃣ Protect their wellbeing as much as performance.
A culture that values rest and respect
Outperforms one that glorifies exhaustion.
Make people the priority.

7️⃣ Say thank you and mean it.
Never underestimate the power of genuine appreciation. 
It costs nothing but changes everything.
Thank you.

That day he learned the simplest leadership truth: 

People don't leave jobs; 
They leave when they stop feeling they matter.

So if you lead others
Remember this: 👇 

Show your people they matter.

It's free to give,
But it's priceless to receive.

💾 If this hits home, save it for your next 1:1.
♻️ Repost to help another leader remember what really matters.

✅ Follow me, Graham Nicholls for more on leadership, mindset, and emotional intelligence.

Coaches: your new unfair advantage is right here.

And it will cost you nothing.

What breaks my heart is this:

Some of the best coaches I know

Are one good system away

From changing their entire career.

Most coaches are building their business 
the hardest way possible.

And I say that with love. 

Because I did it too.

When I started coaching over 20 years ago,
I had to figure everything out the slow way.

Coaching wasn't the hard part.

Building my coaching business was.

I wish I had these 20 years ago! 👇

Here are 10 ChatGPT prompts 
every coach should be using right now 

These 10 alone replace months of trial and error.

And there are 10 more in the infographic.

1️⃣ "Create a clear value proposition 
for my coaching business based on my niche: [insert niche]."

2️⃣ "Write 10 high-converting social media hooks 
tailored to coaches who want [insert client result]."

3️⃣ "Analyse my current offer (describe it) 
and suggest how to make it more irresistible."

4️⃣ "Create a step-by-step 30-day content plan 
for attracting my ideal coaching clients"

5️⃣ "Write a compelling bio for my coaching business 
for use on social media and my website."

6️⃣ "Draft a simple sales funnel for my coaching program 
with top, middle, and bottom-of-funnel messaging."

7️⃣ "Create 10 niche-specific lead magnets 
I could offer to attract ideal clients."

8️⃣ "Rewrite my coaching offer 
to clearly communicate transformation instead of features."

9️⃣ "Write a week's worth of authority-building posts 
that position me as an expert in [your niche]."

🔟 "Create a client onboarding sequence 
including emails, forms, and touchpoints."

Save yourself:
 
Thousands of hours,
Thousands in cash.
 
And years of frustration.

Today?

You get them for free.

Because as a coach,

Your time should go into transforming people. 
Not fighting through marketing overwhelm.

💾 Save this post. These prompts will decide how fast you grow.

♻️ And repost it to help another coach unlock the advantage you now have.

A terrible fear crashed in on him 
One he'd never admitted to anyone...

"Did any of this actually matter?"
(and that hurt a little more than he expected)

His leadership legacy didn't just fade
It disappeared without a trace.

Your true legacy as a leader

Isn't in what you leave behind
It's in the people who lead because of you.

Leadership convinces you to measure your value.

→ In targets hit, 
→ In goals achieved, 
→ In fires extinguished.

Someone asked him...
"How do I know if I'm becoming a good leader?"

The easy answer was performance metrics.
Deadlines. Output. KPIs.

But in that moment
The answer came to him...

And it's an answer he should have known
many years before. But didn't.

"You'll know you're leading well when
the people you lead become leaders themselves"

Jack Welsh said it better than anyone:

"Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. 
When you become a leader, success is all about growing others."

A true leadership legacy is built quietly, 
in moments like:

• The mistake you turn into a lesson
• The opportunity you give not guard
• The encouragement that unlocks confidence
• The conversation that changes their direction
• The belief you hold until they hold it themselves
• The trust you extend when they doubt themselves

If you want to understand the true strength of your leadership,

Don't look at what you've achieved.
Look at who is rising because of you.

Legacy isn't the work you complete.
It's the leaders you leave behind to continue the work.

Who will carry on because of you?
Who will lead because you believed in them?
And what part of your leadership will live on in others?

That is legacy.
And it's the only kind that lasts.

💾 Save this as a reminder of the legacy you're building today.
♻️ Repost to help other leaders focus on what truly endures.

✅ If you want more on human-centred leadership, I share practical lessons every week. Follow me here => Graham Nicholls

I said yes to something...
And it scared the hell out of me.

I felt wildly unqualified for it

But dived in anyway.

Most people think growth begins when you feel ready.

It doesn’t.

It begins the second you commit
to something that scares you.

On the outside, I smiled. Said “yes.”

But inside? Pure fear.

I questioned everything:

→ My experience,
→ My competence,
→ My right to even be in the room.

That’s the part no one talks about:

It’s not the opportunity that hurts 
It’s the voice that tells you you’re not worthy of it.

That voice feels like a punch in the gut!

And then the moment came.

I wasn’t perfect. 
But I was present. 

I stopped waiting to become
the person who belonged there

And started behaving like I already did.

Here’s what I learned 👇

And what I now teach every coaching client
who faces a moment they feel unqualified for 👇

7 Actions To Say Yes Before You Feel Ready

1️⃣ Take the smallest possible step today

Don’t wait for readiness, build it.
Choose one tiny action that moves you forward.

2️⃣ Turn fear into fuel

Your anxiety is proof the moment matters.
Ask yourself: “If I wasn’t afraid, what would I do?”

3️⃣ Practise in real conditions

You grow faster through doing than planning.
Start messy and improve as you go.

4️⃣ Interrupt the self-doubt loop

Doubt spikes before growth.
Replace “I’m not enough” with “This feeling means I’m stretching.”

5️⃣ Say yes publicly to create accountability

Fear hates commitment.
Commit to someone you trust

6️⃣ Behave like the person you’re becoming

Identity forms through action.
How would the future you act?

7️⃣ Make bravery a daily habit

Courage grows with repetition.
Do one brave thing every day. 

Your potential expands with every brave choice.

Looking back, I wasn’t ready for that moment.

But saying yes forced me to grow 
into the person who was.

You don’t rise because you feel qualified.
You rise because you show up anyway.

I’ve seen this shift change 
careers, confidence, and entire identities.

💾 Save this for the next time fear convinces you to play small.
♻️ Repost it to show others how to thrive

✅ Follow me Graham Nicholls for insights into leadership and growth

Your team feels your emotions before your words
And I got taught a powerful lesson.

Your emotions arrive
before your words ever do.

It was supposed to be a simple check-in.

But I walked into that room 
carrying a storm inside me.

I didn’t say anything negative.
I didn’t raise my voice.
I didn’t snap.

But the team shifted instantly.
A heaviness settled over the room

And I remember thinking:
“Why is everyone so off today?”

They weren’t off. I was.
And that would change how I lead.

One of my team members pulled me aside.
Quietly. Gently. Bravely.

“When you walked in, we all felt something was wrong… 
so we held back.”

Because my emotional energy filled the room
before my agenda did.

That moment hit me hard
Harder than any feedback I’d ever received.

Your emotional state is the loudest voice in the room 
even when you’re silent.

I had to change. I had to change me.

My state.
My regulation.
My awareness.

I had to rebuild how I lead
One pattern at a time.

Here are the 7 emotional leadership behaviours 
I now teach every leader 

The ones that rebuild trust, stability, 
and psychological safety 👇

1️⃣ Regulate before you communicate
Your emotions transfer before your message lands.
“Is the state I’m in helping or hurting the room?”

2️⃣ Enter the room with intention
Leaders set the tone... consciously or unconsciously.
“What energy does my team need from me today?”

3️⃣ Acknowledge pressure without projecting it
Honesty builds trust; emotional dumping breaks it.
“How can I share the truth without shifting the burden?”

4️⃣ Slow your pace to calm the space
When you rush, others tense. Pause.
“What changes if I take a breath before I respond?”

5️⃣ Stay emotionally consistent
Predictability creates safety. Safety creates performance.
“Would my team describe me as steady?”

6️⃣ Create space for emotional honesty
The quieter the room, the more people hold back.
“Who needs permission to speak today?”

7️⃣ Reflect on your impact daily
Leadership isn’t about perfection; it’s about responsibility.
“How did my presence shape the room today?”

The moment you stop leading from pressure
and start leading from presence...

Your team didn’t just perform better…
They trusted you more.

Leadership isn’t what you say.
It’s who you are.

💾 Save this for the moments your state matters more than your strategy.
♻️ Repost this for a leader who needs it

✅ Follow for more emotional leadership frameworks => Graham Nicholls

7 leadership behaviours that give you an advantage

I hated it
But leadership isn’t about being liked…

It’s about being trusted.

I had to make a decision the team didn’t want.

Not because it was easy.
Not because it was popular.

But because it was the right one.

The thought hit me:
“They’re going to hate me for this.”

Part of me wanted to soften it.
To compromise. To choose harmony.

But leadership isn’t about avoiding discomfort.
It's about embracing it.

Leadership can feel brutally lonely
When carrying a decision others don’t yet understand.

Then…
Someone from the team pulled me aside:

“I didn’t like your decision at first…
But I see now why you made it.”

This is what leadership means.

Being liked is optional.
Being trusted is essential.

Here are 7 behaviours every leader needs:

1️⃣ Communicate the “why,” not just the “what.”
People can accept hard decisions 
When they understand the purpose behind them.

2️⃣ Hold your nerve when things get uncomfortable.
Confidence is contagious 
Your steadiness becomes their anchor.

3️⃣ Stay consistent in your actions.
Trust grows when your behaviour doesn’t change 
With the room you’re in.

4️⃣ Admit what you don’t know.
Vulnerability builds credibility, 
Not weakness.

5️⃣ Listen to the frustration, not just the feedback.
Emotions are data 
They reveal what people truly need from you.

6️⃣ Make decisions based on values, not popularity.
Favourite leaders come and go. 
Trusted leaders endure.

7️⃣ Follow through on every promise.
Nothing strengthens trust 
Faster than reliability.

Leadership isn’t about being liked today.
It’s about being respected tomorrow.

It’s the quiet trust
that forms long after the noise of disagreement fades.

Sometimes, the decision they resist
becomes the decision they thank you for.

💾 Save this if you’re navigating a hard leadership decision.
♻️ Repost to help other leaders choose trust over approval.

✅ For more human-centred leadership insight, follow Graham Nicholls

Leaders don't need to be liked

One action gave her more respect
Than any promotion ever did.

Respect has nothing to do with other people.

For years, she thought respect came from results.

→ Deliver more.
→ Work harder.
→ Say yes to everything.

But it didn't.
It came from one simple shift. 

How she showed up.

Like many professionals, 
she thought effort was enough.

So she stayed late, stayed quiet, and stayed agreeable.

She wanted to be helpful.
Instead, I became overlooked.

Because when you don't protect

→ Your time, 
→ Your energy, 
→ Or your voice
 
People stop valuing them too.
And I see it every day with my coaching clients.

Here's what she learned 👇

Respect doesn't start with how others treat you.
It starts with how you treat yourself.

🔥 Behaviours that destroy respect:

(I bet you recognise some of these)

→ Saying yes when you mean no.
→ Apologising for things you didn't do wrong.
→ Avoiding conflict to keep the peace.
→ Over-explaining your decisions.
→ Letting deadlines drift without communication.
→ Taking credit from fear, or avoiding it from doubt.
→ Staying silent when you disagree.
→ Complaining instead of leading change.
→ Waiting for permission to act.
→ Treating everyone's priorities as more important than your own.

But there is another way.

💪 Behaviours that build respect:

→ Speaking with calm conviction, even when challenged.
→ Saying no with clarity and yes with commitment.
→ Taking ownership of your time, results, and growth.
→ Listening deeply before you respond.
→ Communicating early and honestly.
→ Giving credit freely and owning mistakes fully.
→ Holding boundaries without apology.
→ Following through every single time.
→ Asking for feedback and using it to grow.
→ Leading through consistency, not control.

I was taught to respect everyone,
no matter their position.

Remember this: 👇 

You can't earn respect from others
Until you respect yourself.

Because your actions tell the world
What you believe about your own worth.

And when that belief is strong 
Respect follows naturally.

✅ Follow me Graham Nicholls for more on mindset, leadership, and growth.

💾 Save this as a reminder to respect yourself daily.
♻️ Repost to help someone strengthen their professional presence.

Blind to her own potential
Something was lying to her...

She almost rejected the opportunity 

Not because she lacked the skills...
Because fear sounded more convincing than fact.

Imposter syndrome is lying to you
And it was lying to her as well.

She stared at the job description for hours.

"I've never done that."
"I only meet about 60% of this."
"Someone else would be a better fit."

"They'll see right through me."

→ It didn't matter that she was talented.
→ It didn't matter that people believed in her.

After coaching many through imposter syndrome
I've learned this truth:

Imposter syndrome doesn't shout.
It whispers. Quietly. Persistently.
 
When she gathered the courage to apply...
They didn't hire her résumé.

They hired her possibility.

Someone, right now, already sees something in YOU.
If you've doubted yourself, this is for you 👇 

The 5-Step Reframe for Imposter Syndrome

1️⃣ Recognise the Real Voice
Separate your fear from your ability.

2️⃣ Reclaim Your Evidence
List what you have achieved.

3️⃣ Redefine "Qualification"
Define success in your own terms
 
4️⃣ Reframe the Gap
Write where you meet the criteria.

5️⃣ Respond With Action
Confidence comes because you leapt.
 
Someone out there sees your potential.
Your job is to catch up to the version of you they see.

So ask yourself:

Who took a chance on you?
When you were convinced you weren't ready?

You're far more qualified than your fear suggests.

Don't wait to feel ready 
Act, and readiness follows.

💾 Save this for the days your imposter syndrome gets loud.
♻️ Repost to help someone who deserves more belief than they currently hold.

➕ PS: I write about confidence, coaching and overcoming self-doubt. Follow for more => Graham Nicholls

Reframing Imposter Syndrome

I used to mistake activity for advancement.

And it cost me dearly.

"The scariest place to be
is the same place as last year."

I convinced myself I was progressing.

→ My days were busy.
→ My calendar was full.
→ My to-do list was endless.

And I told myself the biggest lie 
high performers often believe:

"If I'm active… I must be advancing."

But I wasn't.

Founders, coaches and leaders 

I've coached them all.

And we all fall into this trap.

Busyness becomes our badge.

What makes it worse is:

Zero growth has its own kind of pain.
 
It's the stagnation that hurts. 

And I felt that deeply.

This isn't about urgency…

It's about alignment.

Pay attention if you want to
step intentionally into 2026 

Here are the 7 steps that 
helped me stop confusing effort with evolution 👇

(The infographic expands this to 12 frameworks)

1️⃣ Audit where you truly are 

Honesty beats hustle.
Look at what's really progressing.

2️⃣ Identify your 2026 identity

Name the version of you who achieves next year's goals.
Lead from that identity now.

3️⃣ Choose one defining priority

Not 15 goals.
One direction that moves everything else forward.

4️⃣ Replace busyness with strategy

Ask yourself daily:
"Is this activity moving me closer to who I'm becoming?"

5️⃣ Remove the biggest drag on your growth

A habit. A task. A fear.
One thing slowing you down more than you realise.

6️⃣ Set standards that make old patterns impossible

Growth is built from boundaries, 
not willpower.

7️⃣ Start now, not in January

Momentum isn't created by a date.
It's defined by a decision.

I'll say it again:

The scariest place to be
is the same place as last year.

But the most powerful place?

Standing at the end of a year and knowing:

You didn't wait for change, you created it.

2026 won't change... unless you do!

💾 Save this so you can thrive in 2026, take the next steps!
And ♻️ repost so others can follow your lead

✅ Follow me Graham Nicholls for more on helping you thrive in the years to come.

His choices felt quiet and lonely.

And it hurt.

It's not the loud moments that change us.

The quiet ones do.

He was waiting for something...
Special.

But that moment never came.

I've seen this pattern in hundreds
of my clients

They don't understand 

That the quiet choices mattered.

And he didn't either.

They felt too ordinary. Too soft.
 
He realised the truth far too late:

You know you're capable of more,
But you're quietly choosing less.

That's where the real pain lives.

The harsh truth hit him:

"It's my quiet choices and actions
that make the big impacts"

In over 20 years of coaching
I've seen how these choices change lives.

Here are the 7 quiet choices that shape your life
and how to make them positively 👇

1️⃣ Choose discipline over convenience

• Reduce friction
• Prep the night before

2️⃣ Choose rest before burnout

 • Honour early signals
 • Protect your boundaries

3️⃣ Choose to walk away from what isn't right

 • Listen to discomfort
 • Name the cost of staying

4️⃣ Choose discomfort over stagnation

 • Do the thing that scares you first
 • Reframe fear as growth 
 
5️⃣ Choose honesty with yourself

 • Ask: "What's really going on?"
 • Admit what you've been avoiding

6️⃣ Choose to keep going when motivation dies
 
 • Let discipline carry you when emotion won't
 • Focus on the minimum viable action
 
7️⃣ Choose who you're becoming 

 • Act like your future self today
 • Replace old patterns with intentional ones

These are the choices that define you.

And choosing them today
Will define the direction of your 2026

The life you want won't be built in dramatic moments.

But in the quiet commitments 
you honour when no one is watching.

💾 Save this for the days you're choosing between comfort and who you're becoming.
♻️ Repost it for those in your network who need to hear it

✅ Follow me Graham Nicholls for insight on mindset and life

My biggest growth happened in silence 
Long before anyone knew what I was doing.

The truth? 

If you're quietly growing in your career or leadership
You're in the right place to thrive.

When I first started training as a coach over 20 years ago,
I didn't tell a single person.

Back then, I wasn't confident.

I wasn't "a coach."
I wasn't anything special.

I just knew something needed to change.

So I started alone.
Quietly. Privately.

I doubted myself constantly.
I questioned whether I was good enough.

And because no one knew, there was

No reassurance.
No encouragement.
No accountability.

Just me and my doubts.
But that was the gift.

Those months of studying, practising, failing, learning
Changed me.

Not just as a coach. As a person.
And it built the foundation

For every client success I've seen since.

So, if you're in that unseen season right now,

Here are 7 ways to grow when nobody is clapping yet
That I've learned in all my years of coaching 👇

1️⃣ Learn deeply, not loudly.
Grow from curiosity, not from the need to be seen.

2️⃣ Practise even when it feels pointless.
Repetition without applause builds mastery. 

3️⃣ Build self-trust by showing up for yourself.
When no one is watching, consistency becomes identity.

4️⃣ Track your progress privately.
Keep a simple daily log; it compounds quickly.

5️⃣ Use your doubts as data, not judgment.
Every insecurity reveals your next layer of growth.

6️⃣ Set boundaries to protect your focus.
You don't grow in chaos. You grow in intention.

7️⃣ Celebrate the small wins
Quiet milestones are the foundations.

Your private growth becomes your public strength.

If you're growing quietly right now,
wondering if it's enough…

Believe me:
You're not behind. You're being built.

Because quiet growth...
That's where coaches and leaders are forged.

💾 Save this for the days when you're growing quietly.

Follow me Graham Nicholls for practical, experience-backed tools to grow your impact as a coach or leader.

"I'll try" => the expensive lie we tell ourselves.
For her, that one sentence shattered her story

For years, she lived in "almost."
"Almost ready."

(Sound familiar?)

It became her comfort zone.

In one of our coaching sessions 
The truth became clear.

And in 20 years of coaching I've seen it many times.
It was hesitation dressed as effort.

Deep down, she knew it.

She'd been offered an opportunity.
Her first reaction?

"I'll try my best."

But the truth hit her just as quickly:
Trying meant nothing would change.

Trying was survival.
But deciding?

Deciding was identity.

She realised she wasn't waiting for confidence.
She was waiting for courage.

Here are 12 things to stop saying today:
You'll start to notice them everywhere.

❌ I'll try...
❌ I'm not sure yet…
❌ Maybe later…
❌ Let me think about it...
❌ What if this doesn't work?
❌ I just need a little more time...
❌ I'll wait for the right time...
❌ I don't feel ready…
❌ I'll see how things go…
❌ Let me get back to you…
❌ I need more information...
❌ It might be better if I wait.

12 things to kickstart your decisions:

✅ I've decided…
✅ This is the direction...
✅ I'm moving forward with this.
✅ Here's my next step.
✅ I choose progress.
✅ I'll create clarity via action.
✅ I don't need to feel ready...
✅ I'm making space for this.
✅ I'm choosing this option.
✅ This is worth the discomfort 
✅ I trust myself to figure it out.
✅ I'm getting started

Your life doesn't change when you try harder.
It changes when you decide differently.

Because your destiny
Is defined by your decisions.
(read that again)

💾 Save this for the day you need courage more than confidence.
♻️ Repost for those who want to thrive.

✅ For more actionable insights, follow Graham Nicholls

She spent 10 years helping others grow.
But was hiding the most important thing.

Because being the helper felt safer than being helped.

Here's the uncomfortable truth:

When you're always the expert, 

You get to avoid your own discomfort.
You get to keep performing.

But you also get to stay stuck.

In my 20 years as a coach,
I've seen this constantly.

→ Coaches who won't be coached.
→ Leaders who won't ask for support.
→ Helpers who refuse to be vulnerable.

They'll guide 50 people through transformation.

But the moment someone offers them feedback?

Walls go up.

I did this for years.

Helped hundreds of people.
Avoided being truly seen myself.

The helper role became my hiding place.

Growth always requires what you're avoiding:

Letting someone else see you clearly.

To change this and thrive, you must:

1. Receive feedback as openly as you give it

2. Prioritise your own growth with the same urgency

3. Embrace being a work in progress

4. Let yourself be truly known, not just needed

5. Invest in support without rationalising it away

6. Model the vulnerability you ask for from others

7. Share your struggles as part of your learning

8. Lower the shield and let people see the real you

9. Create space for your own development

10. Choose evolving over performing

"I don't want to be coached because I'm afraid."

That honesty changed everything for her.

She needed permission to not have all the answers.

The best coaches and leaders I know stay coachable. 

They invest in their growth daily.

You can't guide others through territory you refuse to walk yourself.

💾 Save this if you've been hiding behind helping.
♻️ Repost for the coach or leader who needs this.
------
✅ Follow me Graham Nicholls for more on coaching, mindset, and emotional intelligence.

I took control and my best people left.

I broke the trust I thought I’d built.

A great leader's job isn't to shine...

It's to make sure everyone else can.

I learned the hard way.

Instead of helping

They left because of me. 

That cut deeply.

The shift I needed?

Real leaders don't create followers.

They create other leaders.

I changed.

My management became leadership, 
not control.

And my team thrived.

When you step back, you don't fall.

Your impact multiplies.

Here are 5 ways to start empowering your team this week:

1️⃣ In each meeting, ask someone else to share first

Wait 10 seconds after asking. 
Their ideas need space before yours fill the room.

2️⃣ Delegate with all the info.

Explain the required outcome.
When people see the full picture, they make better decisions.

3️⃣ Name a specific team member in your next leadership update

Credit them by name to senior leadership 
Visibility creates momentum for their career.

4️⃣ Build and share a simple decision framework 

Write down how you evaluate options. 
Give them the same tool so they can use it as well.

5️⃣ Assign ownership of decisions you'd normally make

Tell them you trust their judgment. 
Then step back and let them lead it fully.

The greatest leaders aren't remembered for their brilliance.

They're remembered for the light
that they helped others discover.

Great leaders don’t stand in the spotlight

They shine it on others

📑  Save this for when you need clarity in your leadership purpose.
♻️ Repost this if you want more leaders, not more followers.

✅ Follow me Graham Nicholls for insights on leadership and mindset.

Back then, we didn't call it burnout.
We just called it "pushing through."

25 years ago, my body gave up before I did.
Stress. Depression. Anxiety. All at once.

It was the worst time of my life!
I'd been living at full speed for too long.

→ Chasing goals 
→ Ignoring rest
→ Pretending I was fine.

And somewhere in between, 
I lost myself completely.

For a long time, I felt ashamed.
How could I have fallen apart?

But burnout isn't weakness.
It's the body's emergency brake 

The final act of self-preservation.

I promised myself that if I ever made it through,
I'd help others do the same.

That promise became my purpose.

Over the last 20 years as a coach,

I've worked with countless professionals 
Travelling between ambition and exhaustion.

Now, I've created something 
I wish I'd had back then

The Burnout Recovery Roadmap 

→ Here's the first thing every client realises in Phase 1: 
Burnout isn't failure, it's feedback.

Here's what that journey looks like 👇
(There's more info in the carousel)

✅ Phase One: Awareness & Recognition 
The moment you stop pretending.
Accepting that you're burning out 
is the first brave step.

✅ Phase Two: Stabilisation & Rest
You can't heal at the same pace that broke you.
This phase is about slowing down, rebuilding energy, 
and creating space to breathe again.

✅ Phase Three: Inner Work & Identity
Here, you begin to explore what led you here
The patterns, the pressure, the beliefs.
It's where self-awareness becomes clarity.

✅ Phase Four: Rebuild & Redesign
You start to rebuild from the inside out.
Values, priorities, and boundaries.
You learn to work with yourself, not against yourself.

✅ Phase Five: Integration
This is where recovery transforms into resilience.
You rediscover purpose, energy, 
and a new, sustainable way to succeed.

Burnout once broke me.

But it also rebuilt me 
Stronger, softer, and infinitely more self-aware.

And if you're there right now, feeling lost, drained, or defeated,
Please know this:

You're not broken.
You're being asked to rebuild.

💾 Save this if you're in recovery or know someone who needs it.
♻️ Repost to help someone else begin their recovery journey.

✅ Follow me, Graham Nicholls for more on burnout recovery, mindset, and emotional wellbeing.

Creating a Burnout Recovery Roadmap

He didn't come looking for a breakthrough.

He came because he was stuck.

This happens to leaders so often
And it boils down to one thing.

Most people don't like hearing it 
They hate this question.

Only the strongest leaders answer it honestly.

This transformative question
is only three words long.

He kept telling his team, his peers, even himself:

"I'm trying my best."
"I'm doing everything I can."
"I'm just under a lot of pressure."

He wasn't failing because of a lack of talent.
He was failing because of a lack of honesty.

And this is where so many careers stall.

Halfway through our coaching session, 
something cracked.

He whispered:

"I'm scared I'm falling behind... 
and I don't want anyone to see it."

That was the moment I asked him the question
That I reserve for the turning points in someone's career:

"What's the truth?"

He thought vulnerability was a weakness.
Once he confronted it,

His leadership sharpened.
His confidence returned.

Because here's the uncomfortable truth:

Leaders don't grow by trying harder.
They grow by being braver with themselves.

Here's my 5-step leadership breakthrough framework

The same one I use with executives, founders, 
and senior leaders worldwide 👇

1️⃣ Name the truth
Growth demands honesty 
long before it demands action.

2️⃣ Identify the cost of not changing.
Leadership stagnates when comfort wins. 
Progress requires discomfort.

3️⃣ Own what's yours
Accountability accelerates careers. 
Self-blame destroys them.

4️⃣ Choose one courageous action today.
Movement breaks fear faster 
than motivation ever will.

5️⃣ Commit before doubt returns.
Decisions shape identity. 
Identity shapes leadership.

You might be one honest answer away
from your next level.

Because clarity never destroys
It builds strength and resilience.

💾 Save this for the moment honesty becomes your turning point.
♻️ Repost to show you know the truth

➕ Ready for more leadership and mindset insights? Follow Graham Nicholls

What blindsided me most wasn't the decision
to make me redundant.

It was what happened next.

They invited me back a year later.

It felt like rejection.

But it was really a redirection.

Twelve months later, my phone rang.

I said no because,

I'd learned this truth:

Some people don't understand the value you bring to the table

Until they see you at another table.

At my new place, they didn't just see my worth.

They invested in it.

The difference wasn't me.

It was them.

If your workplace can't see your value, 

Here's exactly what helped me rebuild my confidence

1️⃣ Track your impact weekly
Write down specific results you delivered.
Revenue generated. Problems solved. Time saved.

2️⃣ Schedule quarterly value conversations
Don't wait for annual reviews.
Ask: "Where can I create the most impact next quarter?"

3️⃣ Collect feedback beyond your manager
Reach out to colleagues who benefit from your work.
Their perspective reveals your broader value.

4️⃣ Solve tomorrow's problems today
Study industry trends affecting your company.
Build skills for challenges they don't see coming yet.

5️⃣ Make your work visible to decision makers
Share wins in team meetings.
Send brief update emails to stakeholders.

6️⃣ Interview elsewhere every 6 months
Not to leave, but to stay sharp.
You'll discover how others value your experience.

7️⃣ Build your exit plan while you stay
Update your network. Refresh your skills.
Ready doesn't mean leaving - it means choosing.

When you become someone who 
knows their value, everything changes.

The right environment doesn't just use your talents.

It grows them.

A table that doesn't value you isn't a table.
It's a waiting room

💾 Save this for when you need the reminder
♻️ Repost this for anyone questioning their value right now

✅ Follow me Graham Nicholls for insights on career growth and leadership

I stopped telling myself BS excuses...

And gave my potential the room to thrive.

Everything changes when 
You stop giving yourself a way out

I had a routine I knew mattered to me
Morning reading, mindset work, and coaching practice.

But every morning, 
I’d still tell myself the same quiet lies

I now coach clients through this
Every day.

“It won’t matter if I skip just once.”
But “once” always becomes twice and more.

High performance doesn’t collapse overnight.
It erodes quietly.

Eventually, 
You forget you ever had standards.

My excuses weren’t the problem.
My negotiations with them were.

So I made a decision
“No more negotiations.”

And within weeks, everything shifted:

My energy. My focus.
My discipline. My consistency.

Your identity strengthens
Every time you follow through on a promise to yourself.

Here are the 7 insights that will help you
Because they help my clients to level up:

1️⃣ Decide your non-negotiables in advance

Never decide in the moment.
Choose your standards before the day begins.

2️⃣ Reduce the friction, not the goal

Make the habit easier, not smaller.
Create an environment where success wins.

3️⃣ Start with “the minimum viable win”

Five minutes of consistency 
beats one hour of inconsistency.

4️⃣ Recognise your most common excuse pattern

Is it time? Fear? Fatigue?
Knowing the pattern helps you stop falling for it.

5️⃣ Anchor your behaviour to identity, not emotion

Don’t ask, “Do I feel like it?”
Ask, “Who am I becoming?”

6️⃣ Use accountability that protects your standards

A partner, a journal, a routine
Something outside your emotions that keeps you aligned.

7️⃣ Track only one thing: Did you show up today?

Not perfectly. Not impressively.
Just truthfully. Yes or no.

Consistency is what unlocks 
every level of high performance.

When I stopped negotiating with my excuses,

I didn’t become someone new 
I became someone consistent.

If you’re tired of being stuck between who you are

Start where I did:
Stop negotiating with the voice that wants you comfortable

Discipline isn’t loud. It’s the quiet choice you keep.

💾 Save this for the days your excuses feel louder than your potential.
♻️ Repost to show you are quitting the negotiations with yourself

✅ Follow me Graham Nicholls for insights that help you thrive.

Growth felt like he was falling backwards.
And that's why he almost quit.

At the time, he felt like a failure.

Every effort was heavy.
Every step forward felt like sliding back.

And he thought, 
"If it's this hard, maybe I'm not cut out for it."

One thing I've learned
From 20 years as a coach:

No one warns you that progress 
Rarely feels like progress.

→ You doubt your ability.
→ You question your choices.
→ You feel resistance and assume it's a sign to stop.

He still remembers sitting in his car 
Wondering why trying so hard felt so impossible.

And that's when the truth hit him 
Growth always feels wrong before it feels right.

You feel:

 📉 Weak before you feel strong.
 📉 Confused before you feel clear.
 📉 Terrified before you feel brave.

It's the same in every area of life:

💪 The gym makes you sore before it makes you strong.
🧠 Learning makes you doubt before it makes you confident.
💎 Investing in yourself feels risky before it pays off.
🦁 Facing your fears feels terrifying before it sets you free.

What part of your growth journey has felt the hardest?

Growth hides behind friction.
Yet every breakthrough demands it.

He didn't know it then,

But those moments of discomfort 
Were proof that he was growing.

Here's what he discovered 👇

→ Start before you feel ready.
Courage is built in motion, not in waiting.

→ Learn before you feel confident.
The lessons arrive after the leap, not before it.

→ Stretch before you feel certain.
Growth never happens in the comfort zone. 

He kept going.
Falling. Rising. Repeating.

Because the only true failure
is letting temporary discomfort stop permanent growth.

One day the struggle will make sense.

Not because it was easy, 
But because it shaped who you became.

💾 Save this for the next time resistance makes you doubt yourself.
♻️ Repost to help someone else keep going when it hurts.

✅ Follow me, Graham Nicholls for more stories on mindset, resilience, and growth.

White Oak Media

Storytelling workshops for sales teams and executives.

Founder

Level Up Newsletter

Write daily posts and a weekly newsletter on communication, personal branding and strategic thinking.

🔸 Built a newsletter to 11,000+ subscribers
🔸 300,000+ weekly post impressions
🔸 52,000 followers

Writer

VMware

Senior Delivery Leader, Enterprise Transformation Engagements

Stirling Consulting

Director, Digital Transformation

York University

Senior Delivery Lead, Software Engineering, LCS

Flow State

Led a software development team building enterprise-grade system integration software.

Clients included: Danone, Red Flag Deals, the University of Montreal, Concordia, etc.

Engineering Team Lead 

Emerge Ahead, Inc.

Senior Software Engineer

Microsoft

.NET Evangelist

Want to grow your business? Craft and share a story that connects with your customers. DM me to learn how.

This is what happens when you learn something new. 

It’s 6:25 am. I am sitting in my green chair.

I get my phone out of my pocket and put it in front of my face.  It tells me that it can't recognize my face, so I type in my pass code. The home screen is full of apps, and I take a second to find the app I want to open. 

It’s the Kindle app.  It opens to page 263 of 481. I am about 57% done. 

The book I am reading is called Very Good Copy, by Eddy Shleyner. It’s about copywriting. Copywriting is the discipline of writing ads, advertisements, and website content to sell products. 

The chapter I am about to read is called Writing Immersive Stories.  It begins with a story about a hospital visit. Eddie talks about his experience just before and right after surgery. He then breaks down a technique for writing stories called “realism.” 

He offers two more examples. I read them. I can’t stop. The technique is so effective that my mind won’t let me put my phone down. 

I finish the chapter, and I feel empowered. Inspired.  Excited.  I learned something new today.

Learning something will make you feel that way, excited, empowered. But that is not the end of it. When you apply what you learn and get results, the feelings of success and accomplishment can often overwhelm you and send you jumping up and down like a little kid. 

The key is to apply the learning.  And over the years, that’s what I’ve done. 

When I learned communication and writing, I:

🔹 Improved the lives of thousands of my readers
🔹 Built an audience of 55k+ people 
🔹 Written 850+ posts

When I learned product management, I: 

🔹 Led $10M + enterprise software modernization projects
🔹 Mentored and coached dozens of product managers
🔹 Build 18+ software products

When I learned strategic thinking, I: 

🔹 Reduced time-to-market from months to weeks for a Fortune 500 client
🔹 Saved companies over $100M+ in operating expenses
🔹 Enhanced customer service efficiency by 30%

And much more. 

Learning can transform you and your career in unimaginable ways. All you need is an open mind and a willingness to put what you learned into practice.

If you want to: 

→ Upgrade your career without sacrificing your sanity or personal life
→ Own the room with executive presence and unshakable clarity.
→ Earn respect, recognition, and rewards at work

🔥 Then sign up for my weekly newsletter at terrydanylak.com/the-vault

Terry Danylak

15 questions you should ask in a job interview,
to stand out from other candidates. 

📌 Asking boring questions makes you anonymous. 

Top candidates evolve the interview into a conversation that stays with the interviewers after the interview.

Here they are: 

1/ How would you describe the culture here? 
How people work and interact with each other will affect your performance.

2/ What makes people stay in this company?
Uncover the hidden work culture signals to help you make your decision. 

3/ What does failure look like in this role? 
Learn what they think about failure and whether they prioritize learning from it. 

4/ What is this team's communication style?
Figure out whether you will fit in easily with your future colleagues and boss. 

5/ What are the weekly success metrics for this position?
Every high-performing team tracks metrics to help them improve over time. 

6/ Is there someone who’s left this role before, and why? 
Uncover potential turnover problems that could lead to your future exit.

7/ What do the first 90 days look like?
Show them that you are looking forward to getting started. 

8/ How does the company support learning?
It is crucial to know if they offer continuing education opportunities. 

9/ Describe this company’s culture in three words.
Use it to extract the true values that underpin the work culture there. 

10/ What's a typical career progression in this role?
Figure out if there is a future for you here, beyond this role. 

11/ What do you value most in your team members?
Get insight into everyone’s work style and the qualities they prefer. 

12/ What skills would help me excel in this role? 
Learn the key factors that could help you be a success here.

13/ What is the company’s biggest goal this year?
Discover the main goal the company is dedicating all its resources to. 

14/ What concerns do you have about me and my skills?
Address any objections and doubts early on in the interview process.

15/ What’s the next step? When can I expect to hear back?
Close the interview by identifying next steps and inviting them to call you back. 

✨ Asking questions is as much about standing out as it is about finding out if this is the right job for you. 

—

♻️ Repost this if you learned something, and follow Terry Danylak for more.

Helping overwhelmed team leaders establish processes that deliver high-impact results • Fortune 500 coach • Delivered $100M+ in savings for enterprises

10 Habits That Make You Look Unprofessional
(and how to fix them!)

🔥 Being a professional is more than just showing up.  
It’s about how you show up.

Here’s the harsh truth:
Small, seemingly harmless habits can quickly undermine your reputation.

Master these fixes to elevate your confidence and improve your image:

1/ Not proofreading
Typos make you look careless and unprepared.

➟ Double check the spelling
➟ Read the email or document again
➟ Ask others to check if it’s important

2/ Cutting people off
Cutting people off is very rude and extremely disrespectful.

➟ Wait to respond
➟ Let the other person finish
➟ Think about your answer, then talk

3/ Being late, a lot
Lateness demonstrates your poor time management skills.

➟ Arrive early when you can
➟ Send a message if you’re late
➟ Apologize and don’t repeat it again

4/ Missing deadlines
Constant delays damages trust and your relationships.

➟ Keep communications open
➟ Ask for help before it’s too late
➟ Let people know if you’re behind

5/ Oversharing
Sharing too much personal information puts you at risk.

➟ If in doubt, don’t say it
➟ Keep conversations professional
➟ Stop others from oversharing too

6/ Being defensive
Being overly defensive creates tension at work.

➟ Cool down before reacting
➟ Wait to hear the full idea first
➟ Take a breath before responding

7/ Being messy
Your cluttered desk suggests you’re disorganized.

➟ Tidy your space daily
➟ Keep your documents organized
➟ Use a system like the PARA method

8/ Playing favourites
Being overly partial to certain colleagues can create tension. 

➟ Treat everyone fairly
➟ Make sure everyone is participating
➟ Respect other’s skills and experience

9/ Ignoring feedback.
Dismissing feedback shows a lack of self-awareness.

➟ Listen to advice
➟ Act on advice if it is useful
➟ Say thank you for people’s help

10/ Gossiping.
Talking behind people’s backs creates a toxic work culture.

➟ Don’t spread rumours
➟ Don’t listen to others gossiping
➟ Don’t share if you’re not allowed

📌 Remember:
What you do consistently will shape how people see you. 
Personally and professionally. 

What habit do you see the most in the workplace? 
Share in the comments. ⬇️

—

Get access to my best infographics. 
https://lnkd.in/geecrqWp

—

❤️ Repost to help someone you know level up.
🦁 Follow me for more content like this!

Habits that make you look unprofessional

You don't need to be 100% qualified. 
You need to be 100% prepared.

There is no perfect candidate.
There is a perfectly prepared candidate.

Meet most of the criteria? Apply for the job.
Make yourself stand out by answering this question.

🔥 What do you bring to the table?

It could be:

🆕 New Ideas
⛳ Leadership skills
🎙️ Personal branding
📝 Communication skills
💼 Wisdom and experience
⚒️ Getting sh*t done attitude
💲 Connections to funding sources
☕ Building relationships with clients
🚧 Ability to fix problems under deadlines

Answering this question helps you narrow down your unfair advantage.

You can find your unfair advantage in one of these categories:

1. Money
2. Intelligence
3. Location
4. Education
5. Status
6. Vision
7. Resourcefulness
8. Grit
9. Leadership

📌 Remember!

Most people don’t get hired because they fit 100%.
People get hired because they stand out 100%.

—

♻️ Find this helpful? Repost for your network.
🦁 Follow Terry Danylak for more content like this!

“What are your weaknesses?”
How to answer the most dreaded interview question:

❌ The answer most people usually give:

• I’m a workaholic
• I’m a bit of a perfectionist
• I’m not good at managing multiple tasks

✅ What the hiring manager wants to know:

• Are you self-aware?
• Are you an honest person?
• Do you have a plan to improve?

Use this Self-Aware Reply formula to answer this question. It has three parts that help you communicate that you are a dependable candidate.

🔥 The Self-Aware Reply:

• The Positive Trait
• The Skill To Improve
• The Plan To Improve it

Let’s break it down:

1️⃣ The Positive Trait
Lay the foundation for the area you want to improve.

I am … → Describe your positive trait.

(Check out the example in the carousel.)

2️⃣ The Skill To Improve:

I tend to… → your weaker skill.
I realized that… → your realization about what to improve.
My goal is… → your improvement goal.

3️⃣ The Plan To Improve It:

I’ve been… → the steps you’re taking.
I’m reading… → the books you’re reading.

Finish with this statement:

I am also open to being coached and would be grateful to develop a mentor/mentee relationship with you.

📌 Write out and memorize your answer.

When you answer this question using this formula, you demonstrate that you are:

• Self-aware
• Coachable
• Driven to improve yourself
• A reader who likes to learn

🔸For your interview, prepare an answer for two weaknesses.

Check out the carousel for more examples.

—

❤️ Repost to help someone you know.
🦁 Follow Terry Danylak for more content like this!

How to answer the most dreaded interview question

The secret to unstoppable self-confidence:
Believe in yourself.

But it’s easier said than done.

🔺 What kills self-confidence?
It starts in the morning, with your thoughts:

• I don’t like how I look
• I am exhausted
• I am not ready

It continues during the day:

• I am shy
• I can’t do it
• I don’t belong here
• I am not good enough
• I will never learn how to do it

⛔ STOP IT.

Self-confidence is about belief, but that belief is built on these five pillars.

1️⃣ Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.
If you don’t feel confident about doing something, you haven’t done it enough times.

How confident were you:

• When you first started driving a car?
• After driving hundreds of times?

2️⃣ Self-Talk
Stop telling yourself you are not good enough because every else already does.

Change what you say to yourself:

Don’t pick me! ⇒ Pick me!!!
I can’t do it ⇒ I will learn quickly
I’m nervous ⇒ I am excited

3️⃣ Celebrate Your Victories
Small victories, big victories. Any victories. 

A fertilizer for confidence is called celebration.

Said hello to a clerk ⇒ Celebrate
Asked for a discount ⇒ Celebrate
Spoke up at a meeting ⇒ Celebrate
Took charge of a project ⇒ Celebrate

4️⃣ Become Delusional, Just A Little
Interpret negative feedback in a positive way. But don’t go overboard.

You have to believe you’re good enough to feel that you’re good enough.

Audience was quiet ⇒ They were enthralled
Didn’t get the deal ⇒ Wasn’t a good one
Didn’t get hired ⇒ Overqualified

5️⃣ Believe In Yourself
No one will believe in you unless you do.

—

The only thing that is ever in your control is what you think about.

When you think about yourself, make it a positive thought.
This is how you will build unstoppable confidence.

—

Get my best infographics and cheat sheets. 
https://lnkd.in/geecrqWp

—

❤️ Repost to help others build confidence.
🦁 Follow me for more content like this!

Unstoppable Self-Confidence

10 Japanese concepts that will change how you work. 

Japanese culture is rich in ways we can use to improve ourselves at work and at home. ⛩️ 

Ancient wisdom, gathered through thousands of years of experience and reflection, can serve as your beacon as you navigate our busy and always-on lives. 

Here are 10 Japanese concepts that will change how you live:

1️⃣ Ikigai: Find your purpose and passion
People who have a purpose live longer.
↳ Your ikigai is what gets you up in the morning
↳ Find what you love and what others will pay for

2️⃣ Omoiyari: Show sincere compassion
Try to make life easier for others. 
↳ In what you do and how you act
↳ In how you work and what products you create

3️⃣ Wabi-sabi: Strive for excellence, not perfection
A way of life that embraces imperfection & simplicity.
↳ Eliminate clutter in how you work and how you speak
↳ Embrace things as they are

4️⃣ Mottainai: Work sustainably
Be intentional with your actions and your work.
↳ Don’t waste your talent in the wrong place
↳ Eliminate unnecessary processes 

5️⃣ Shin-Gi-Tai: Mind, technique, body
The three elements of maximum performance.
↳ Meditate to clear your mind
↳ Learn new skills to stay sharp
↳ Exercise to live a healthy life

6️⃣ Kaizen: Improve continuously
Make small, incremental changes continuously.
↳ Pick a skill or a process to improve every week
↳ Review your successes and failures  

7️⃣ Shuhari: Learn the basics, improve, improvise
Learn the techniques, make improvements, and adapt.
↳ Mastery begins with learning the rules
↳ Mastery is achieved when rules don’t matter

8️⃣ Shoshin: Be curious about everything 
Adopt a beginner’s mindset when solving problems.
↳ Ask lots of questions, even the dumb ones
↳ Be open to challenging your understanding 

9️⃣ Shokunin: Become a master craftsman
Go on a lifelong journey towards mastery.
↳ Cultivate a deep understanding of your craft
↳ Develop a sense of pride in your work

🔟 Ho-Ren-So: Over-communicate
Report, communicate, and consult as much as you can.
↳ Gain trust and authority by sharing information
↳ Improve decision-making and speed of execution 

I’ve applied these principles in my work and seen 10x improvement in my output and my outcomes. 

📌 But more importantly, these concepts helped me find the right path in our chaotic world. 

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10 Japanese Concepts

How to answer the most sensitive interview question:
“Why did you leave your last job?”

❌ The answer most people want to give:

• You didn’t get paid enough
• You didn’t like the people
• You weren’t happy there
• You weren’t challenged
• You were laid off

✅ What the hiring manager wants to know:

• Will you be cynical about them?
• How you answer this question?
• Why did you leave the company?

Use this Tactful Response formula to answer this question.

It has three parts that help you show that you have accomplished a lot and are ready to grow.

🔥 The Tactful Response:

• Your proudest achievement
• Your gratitude for your job
• Your readiness to grow

Let’s break it down:

1️⃣ Your Proudest Achievement
Show that you’ve achieved what you set out to achieve.

I’ve enjoyed … → *years working at the company.*
Where I … → *describe your proudest result.*

(Check out the example in the carousel)

2️⃣ Gratitude For Your Job
Explain that you’ve enjoyed working with the people, learning and growing.

During this time, I’ve … → *describe what you learned.*
I’ve met … → *describe who made a difference in your life.*

I am thankful for all that I’ve achieved and to all that have helped me achieve it.

3️⃣ Readiness To Grow:
Show you ready to grow.

I am ready for more. I am ready to take on new challenges. I am ready to grow.
I am looking for … → describe the challenge you are looking for.

Finish with this statement:

Joining your company feels like the right move for me.

📌 Write out and memorize your answer.

When you answer this question using this formula, you demonstrate that you are:

• Professional
• Respectful of others
• Thankful for opportunities

Check out the carousel for a complete example.

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Why did you leave you last job.

Got an interview coming up? 
Does it make you feel nervous?

It won't if you prepare for it.

🔥 Save this cheat sheet and crush your next job interview.

1️⃣ What’s the hardest problem you’ve ever worked on? 
↳ This is a test for your problem-solving skills. Pick a hard problem, explain why it was hard, and show how you’ve solved it. 

2️⃣ Tell me about a time when you had to handle an ethical dilemma.
↳ An example could be how you stopped someone from stealing or doing something that would be harmful to a client or the company.

3️⃣ Tell me about a problem you found that others missed. 
↳ Explain what you found and why others may have missed it. Show what you did to fix it. Finally, describe how you shared what you learned with the team.

4️⃣ Describe a situation where you had to manage multiple projects at once 
↳ This question is about your ability to prioritize and delegate work. Explain how you organize your work and your team. Show how you get things done. 

5️⃣ Tell me about a time you missed a deadline. What did you do?
↳ Be honest about it, admit that you’ve missed a deadline. Highlight how you communicated with stakeholders throughout the process.

6️⃣ What motivates you at work?
↳ The interviewer is looking to understand you at a deeper level. Identify your motivation and show how it aligns with the company’s mission and values.

7️⃣ When was the last time you changed your opinion about something big?
↳ To answer this question well, show that you have a growth mindset. Tell a story and describe how new information made you reevaluate your opinion.

8️⃣ What’s the most constructive feedback you’ve received? 
↳ Explain how it was difficult to take, but you kept an open mind. Show how you applied the advice.

9️⃣ Describe a time you had to learn a skill quickly
↳ Describe the skill you had to learn. Explain your plan for learning. Show the result and how long it took.

🔟 Can you describe when you had to give difficult feedback?
↳ This is a test of your ability to improve others. If you’ve never done it, describe a method you would use.

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17 worst career mistakes
(And how to fix them to boost your career)

1/ Overstaying
Staying too long at a job because it feels comfortable. 

2/ Not having friends outside of work
Thinking that your colleagues are your real friends.

3/ Not building a network at work
Believing that you can get promoted on merit.

4/ Thinking you’re irreplaceable
Telling everyone that if you leave the place, it’s toast. 

5/ Solving all problems
Trying to put out all fires, no matter how small. 

6/ Avoiding office politics
Ignoring office games, hoping you won’t be affected.

7/ Waiting for others to take charge
Not taking charge when the opportunity strikes. 

8/ Playing the short game
Only thinking of your next move or next promotion.

9/ Avoiding hard work
Looking for shortcuts and quick-fix solutions.

10/ Trusting everyone blindly
Believing that others will stick up for you. 

11/ Not asking questions
Staying silent in meetings for fear of looking stupid.

12/ Chasing status
Pretending you are a bigger deal than you are.  

13/ Ignoring industry trends
Staying in the past, doing work the “old” way.  

14/ Avoiding difficult feedback
Being afraid to give truthful feedback to bad employees.

15/ Not building a personal brand
Believing others will speak for you and your work.

16/ Becoming too specialized
Focusing on one skill and ignoring others.

17/ Avoiding all risk
Not trying anything new because it is risky.

Most of our work lives are spent thinking we’re making the right moves and the right choices. 

Yet, most of our right moves often turn out to be big career mistakes. 

Agree? 

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17 Worst Career Mistakes

10 uncommon habits of high performers
(that everyone should pay attention to)

🔥 High performers stand out because they do things that other people don’t even think about. 

In today’s job market, you have to find your edge because the playing field has been levelled.

Everyone has:

• Necessary credentials 
• Certifications, awards and degrees
• Results-based experience descriptions

But that’s not what gets you results. 

What actually gets you the job you want, the career you crave, is:

➟ Being dependable
➟ Being focused on learning daily
➟ Being available when you’re needed
➟ Being someone everyone wants to work with
➟ Being ready and willing to make a real impact

📌 If you want to stand out and make a real impact, here’s what you need to focus on: 

1️⃣ Learning
Learning the skills you need to succeed. 
↳ Master one skill at a time
↳ Don’t spread yourself too thin

2️⃣ Applying
Applying skills in the right environment.
↳ Not everyone will appreciate your skills
↳ Move to a place where your skills are wanted

3️⃣ Acting
Taking action instead of waiting.
↳ Everyone can talk about doing things
↳ Don’t talk, take action

4️⃣ Creating
Creating value and being useful. 
↳ Always ask if your work adds value
↳ Reduce wasteful work to a minimum

5️⃣ Taking
Taking a stand for what you believe in.
↳ Have principles and be known for them
↳ Choose what is right instead of what is easy

6️⃣ Fixing
Fixing mistakes instead of hiding them.
↳ If you’re wrong, admit it
↳ If you’ve made a mistake, fix it

7️⃣ Showing 
Showing up no matter what, day after day.
↳ Take responsibility for your actions
↳ Lead by example, every day

8️⃣ Asking
Asking for feedback to improve yourself.
↳ Reflect on your successes
↳ Internalize lessons from your failures

9️⃣ Delivering
Delivering on your promise.
↳ Under promise
↳ Over deliver

🔟 Promoting
Promoting your work at every opportunity.
↳ Tell others what you’ve achieved
↳ Acknowledge the people who have helped you

📌 High performers focus on many things. 
But one thing that makes the biggest difference is making a big impact in the real world.  

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10 Uncommon Habits of Top Performers

The best leaders help their people feel inspired.
The best leaders help their people succeed.
The best leaders help their people grow.
The best leaders help their people win.
The best leaders help their people.

Leadership is not your title.
Leadership is your actions.

📌 Remember that.

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Give me 2 minutes, and I will teach you the framework for dealing with difficult people.

Think of a time you had to deal with a difficult person.

🔺 How did you feel?

• Stress
• Anxiety
• Anger

🔺 When your body goes into stress mode, you experience:

• A heightened state of anxiety

• Rational thought processes shut down

• Your metabolism slows down

All negative things. Which makes learning how to deal with difficult people all the more important.

👉 There are 7 types of difficult people:
(See the carousel for descriptions)

• The A**hole
• The Indifferent
• The One Upper
• The Gossiper
• The Grouch
• The Clinger
• The Know-it-all

And you have probably dealt with each one before. But now, you will have the framework to help you handle them better.

1️⃣ Assess The Situation

It is tempting to react to what people do or say. Before you do:

1. Pause
2. Take a deep breath
3. Acknowledge the type
4. Ask the Reset Question

“Why is this person acting this way?”

2️⃣ Reframe The Behaviour

To respond instead of react, you must reframe their behaviour in your mind.

Aggressive ⇒ Dedicated
Inattentive ⇒ Distracted
Stubborn ⇒ Headstrong
Clinging ⇒ Curious
Mad ⇒ Intense

Reframing helps your mind reduce the effect of your amygdala (the fear response center).

3️⃣ Reflect On The Cost

The cost of our reaction is steep. Before you respond, ask yourself these 3 questions:

• Is this stress worth the cost?
• Is this worth my heart attack?
• Is this the hill I want to die on?

In 99.999% of situations, it’s not worth getting angry or stressed out.

4️⃣ Reset The Situation

When things get heated, and you find yourself in the middle of a storm, reset the situation.

Say this:

“I noticed that both of us are getting too passionate about this.
Why don’t we take a break to reset?”

Or this:

“Why don’t we take a step back and reset? Then come back at this with clear heads.”

When you step back and reset the situation, you can clear your mind and make better decisions.

🔥 It’s On You

You can either get mad, stressed out and get hurt, or you can:

• Assess
• Reframe
• Reflect
• Reset

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How to deal with difficult people

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator. 😂

Put a joke in the comments to make people laugh: 

How to be funny in 5 easy steps.
That’s all it takes. 

All of the benefits that humour provides:

→ Improves focus
→ Aids in learning
→ Increases happiness

All backed by serious scientific research.

How to be funny…

1️⃣ Exaggerate
Take an observation about something and exaggerate it out of proportion.

Examples:

• “l literally grew this beard waiting for you.”
• “My father told me a million times never to exaggerate.”
• “The movie was so bad, people were lined up to get out.”

🔥 The more absurd the comparison, the funnier it can be.

Learning Difficulty: 💪

2️⃣ Misdirect
Lead the people in one direction and surprise them by going in a completely different one.

Examples:

• “I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs...like customs officers.”
• “Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.”
• “My grandfather started walking a mile a day when he was 70. He’s 95 now, and we have no clue where he is.”

🔥 Make a connection no one expects.

Learning Difficulty: 💪

3️⃣ Be Sarcastic
Say something that is obviously the opposite of what you are thinking.

Examples:

• “ I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to who can’t.”
• “Always remember: You’re just as unique as everybody else.”
• “Hi there, I’m human. What are you?”

🔥 Warning: Some people won’t get it.

Learning Difficulty: 💪 💪

4️⃣ Use Puns
Exploit the different possible meanings of a word or words that sound alike and have different meanings.

Examples:

• “I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.”
• “I read a book about helium once. I couldn’t put it down.”
• “I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.”

🔥 Be ready to make a “Ba Dum Tss!” sound.

Learning Difficulty: 💪 💪 💪

5️⃣ Make Fun Of Yourself
Share your quirks and vulnerabilities in a funny way.

Example:

• “Feel free to use me as a bad example. That way, I won’t be totally useless. “
• “Not to brag, but I haven’t had a mood swing in like 7 minutes.”
• “They say money talks. But all mine says is goodbye.”

🔥 Can be difficult for some to make fun of themselves.

Learning Difficulty: 💪 💪 💪

—

Bonus

🙀 Tell Funny Stories
Telling stories can be a powerful way to become better at humour.

• Use unexpected punchlines (exaggeration or misdirection)
• Tell embarrassing and funny events

—

Humour will make you feel better, happier and more confident.
Especially if you’re funny.

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The Skill of Humor

Connect The Dots.
(Lessons from Steve Jobs)

Steve Jobs was a charismatic pioneer of the personal computer era. He founded Apple and started the mobile phone revolution.

1️⃣ Follow Your Curiosity
Jobs learned about fonts by dropping in on a calligraphy class in college.

Later, he used this knowledge to create beautiful typography on the Mac.

Exploration:

• Helps you build knowledge
• Helps you find new opportunities
• Helps you innovate and create new things

🔥 Follow your intuition.

2️⃣ Trust In Yourself
You can make things happen. Dream Big.

Believe in yourself.

When you believe in yourself:

• You gain confidence
• You eliminate self-doubt
• You inspire yourself and others

🔥 You succeed at anything you try.

3️⃣ Find What You Love
The only way to do great work is to love what you do.

You have to keep looking until you find it.

How to start:

• Define your vision
• Determine your values
• Experiment, fail, learn, experiment

🔥 You’ll know when you find it. When you do, go all in.

4️⃣ Don’t Lose Faith
You will have many setbacks. Obstacles will appear out of nowhere. Don’t lose faith.

Why keep going:

• That’s how you become resilient
• That’s how you learn and grow
• That’s how you win

🔥 Do what you love, and the rewards will come.

5️⃣ Connect The Dots
You can’t connect the dots looking forward.

You can only connect them by looking backwards.

Find the connection:

• Examine your past knowledge
• Look for unusual patterns
• Connect the dots

🔥 You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future.

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Steve Jobs Motivation

The quickest way to improve anything is to reduce waste.
In business, this can save millions.

📌 What is waste?

Any work that you do that doesn't create value.

• Waiting to use the equipment
• Printing unnecessary copies
• Building too many products
• Meetings with no agenda

There are eight types of waste:

🗑️ Waste of Waiting
Waiting for the next step in the process.

🗑️ Waste of Overproduction
Producing more than is required.

🗑️ Waste of Transportation
Moving things without purpose.

🗑️ Waste of Processing
Redundant effort that doesn’t add value.

🗑️ Waste of Motion
Movement that takes time but adds no value.

🗑️ Waste of Inventory
Holding excess stock that can’t be sold.

🗑️ Waste of Intellect
Underuse or misuse of people’s best skills.

🗑️ Waste of Rework
Altering delivered work that shouldn’t happen.

Each type of waste creates additional drag on your processes. This directly translates into the cost of time, money or intellectual capacity.

📌 How To Reduce Waste In Your Processes?

1. Identify the process to improve
2. List the steps in the process
3. Review each step

Then, identify:

1. The value each step adds
2. The waste each step creates
3. The blockers each step encounters

📌 Reduce waste by applying one of these process improvement techniques:

1. Relocate to a new facility.
2. Reconfigure the inputs.
3. Reallocate resources.
4. Reorder the steps.
5. Reduce the steps.
6. Remove a step.

Reducing wasted effort results in immediate benefits.
Take the first step. Then take another.

You’ll be surprised how far it takes you.

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li_at

JSESSIONID

Angela Barreda

You become what you believe.
(5 Powerful Lessons from Oprah Winfrey)

Oprah Winfrey, often known simply as Oprah, is an American icon. She is a talk show host, television producer, actress, author, and philanthropist.

1️⃣ Intentions Create Outcomes
Your intention creates the will for you to make things happen.

What you intend to be will be.

Being intentional :

• Helps you create a positive mindset
• Helps you experience more clarity
• Helps you be more present

🔥 And it helps you achieve your biggest goals.

2️⃣ Go For What You Want
Don’t live in someone else's dream. Don’t talk about what others have.

Decide what you want and go for it.

Why go for it?

• You will try
• You will learn
• You will succeed

🔥 No one wins by playing someone else’s game.

3️⃣ You Control Your Fate
Don’t try to control what you can not control.

Become the master of your fate.

Overcome yourself with these questions:

• What are you resisting?
• What are you not allowing?
• What are you pushing against?

🔥 Control what you can. Ignore everything else.

4️⃣ Find Your Next Right Move
Don’t dwell on what you don’t know. Find the next step.

Find your next right move.

How to find your next move?

• Sit down
• Close your eyes
• Take a deep breath
• And let your mind do it for you

🔥 You already know the answer. Let it out.

5️⃣ Become what you believe
Take your dream and make it a reality. Believe in it.

Go for it like your life depends on it.

How to lean into your dream:

• Believe in yourself
• Ask for help
• Embrace it

🔥 Your dreams will come true if your mind is ready to work.

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Lean into your dream

10 Things You Should NEVER Put on Your Resume
(If you actually want to get interviews.)

Most resumes are ignored, not read.
Why? Because they’re filled with:

🚫 Too much fluff
🚫 Unclear and irrelevant info
🚫 Dozens of buzzwords few understand

Here are 10 resume red flags to eliminate ASAP 👇

1️⃣ Objective Statements
Objective statements add little value to your resume. 

❌ “Seeking a position where I can grow…”
✅ Use a headline that highlights what you bring, not what you want

2️⃣ Fluffy Responsibilities
Writing generic statements makes you blend in with other candidates

❌ “Oversaw multiple projects”
✅ Write: “Delivered 7 projects worth $4.2M ahead of schedule”

3️⃣ No Results
A resume without results makes it hard to judge your value.

❌ “Managed a team of designers”
✅ Write: “Led 4 designers to launch a new app, driving 20K monthly users.”

4️⃣ Paragraphs Instead of Bullets
Long paragraphs are hard to scan, and recruiters skip them.

❌ Dense walls of text
✅ Write: clean, scannable bullet points that lead with action + outcome

5️⃣ Buzzword Salad
Too many buzzwords put you in the ignore category.

❌ “Innovative, passionate, self-starter”
✅ Let your results show your drive, don’t just say it

6️⃣ Hobbies That Don’t Add Value
The right hobbies can help you get the interview.

❌ “Love hiking and Netflix”
✅ Only include hobbies that show relevant skills or traits

7️⃣ Outdated Experience
Old experience sections are irrelevant to current jobs. 

❌ 6 bullets on a job from 10 years ago
✅ Condense: “Promoted twice in 2 years; built internal tools still in use today”

8️⃣ Generic Soft Skills
Generic soft skills make you look ... generic.

❌ “Excellent communication skills”
✅ Write: “Presented monthly updates to execs; improved team alignment by 30%”

9️⃣ References Available Upon Request
Everyone knows that you can provide references if asked.


❌ Obsolete. Everyone knows this.
✅ Use that space to showcase your value and achievements

🔟 First-Person Pronouns
First-person pronouns make your resume look like a story. 

❌ “I led the team to success.”
✅ Resumes should be written without “I” or “me”. Start with strong verbs

💡 If you want your resume to stand out?

Use this bullet formula: 
Specific activity → Clear, measurable outcome

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What not to put on the resume

You can spot a toxic workplace from a mile away. 
But only after you’ve started running away from it.

🧨 Many people think that they can spot signs of a toxic workplace in their job. 

They think: 

➟ “I’ll know it when I see it.”
➟ “Toxic places just feel toxic.”
➟ “Only big corporations are toxic.”

🔥 Yet, they often spend years in their jobs only to realize how toxic their place was after they leave. 

If you’re in a toxic workplace and you don’t know it, here are the 10 signs you should look out for: 

1️⃣ Low transparency
You think you know what’s going on, but you don’t. 

▸ You don’t interact with other departments
▸ You’ve no idea if the business is profitable
▸ Departments get reorganized without notice

2️⃣ Questionable promotions
People get the job based on unfair factors. 

▸ The new guy gets promoted first
▸ The most visible people get higher pay
▸ Experienced workers get stuck in dead-end jobs

3️⃣ Micromanagement
Every little task must be documented and reviewed.

▸ The boss watches you work
▸ Every email must be cc’d to the manager
▸ You get detailed instructions on what to do, all the time

4️⃣ Mediocrity 
People spend little time improving their skills. 

▸ Few people take courses
▸ Going to conferences is discouraged or forbidden
▸ People get annoyed when you propose improvements

5️⃣ Persistent risk avoidance
No one takes on new projects because they are risky.

▸ New ideas are ignored 
▸ Managers discourage innovation
▸ No one leads high-risk, high-reward projects

6️⃣ Urgency rules
Every task is urgent, and every project is important.

▸ All tasks must be done
▸ All tasks must be done yesterday
▸ All tasks are marked as high priority

7️⃣ Constant turnover
You may be staying, but others leave fast. 

▸ New people quit quickly
▸ Everyone who’s good has left
▸ Hiring new people is a challenge

8️⃣ Politics
It’s not what you’ve done, it’s who you know.

▸ Promotions are decided over lunch
▸ Projects are allocated to golf buddies
▸ Pay raises go to the loudest jerks in meetings

9️⃣ Work weekends
Work doesn’t stop when you get home. 

▸ You get emails after work
▸ The boss calls you on Saturdays
▸ Vacations are denied for no reason
 

🔟 Culture of fear
No one is speaking up because it’s risky.

▸ Few speak their minds
▸ Problems get hidden and ignored
▸ The ship is going down, and no one cares

It’s always easier to spot a toxic workplace if you’re not in it. 
But it slowly saps you of energy and life.

The longer you stay, the harder it becomes to leave. 
But leave you must, if you want to have a future. 

Are you stuck in a toxic workplace?
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10 Signs of a Toxic Worklplace

A leader's words can make or break a team.
Authentic leaders know this instinctively.

What you say and how you speak and act sets the tone.

You can:

→ Bring energy and motivate your team.
→ Help everyone feel like they are valued.
→ Build a culture where everyone is treated fairly.
→ Show that you appreciate everyone and their ideas.
→ Encourage them to take the lead, innovate and create.

🔥 Be sincere in what you say and earn your people’s respect.

Be the leader you’ve always wanted to have.
Your words can transform your team.

—

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Phrases leaders say

When you're talking to someone, how many conversations are you having?

We think of a discussion as being one conversation.
But researchers have found that a discussion can have many conversations.

🟢 Informational Conversation
When you want to share information, like describing the news or your work project.

You can recognize this type when you hear things like:

→ Our new company policy is out.
→ Where is the nearest station?
→ We got a new pool cover installed

This conversation puts you into a decision-making mindset.

🟢 Emotional Conversation
When you want to discuss yourself and exchange deep and meaningful stories.

You can recognize this type when you hear things like:

→ I’m excited by my new project.
→ I cried by myself last night.
→ We got engaged.

This conversation helps shape your beliefs, emotions and memories.

🟢 Social Conversation
When you want to discuss who you are and your social identity.

You can recognize this type when you hear things like:

→ How do you feel being with me?
→ I notice I’m feeling anxious.
→ What’s it like to feel that?

This conversation explores how others see you and how you see yourself.

🔴 Miscommunication
Miscommunication happens when people have different kinds of conversations.

For example, when you want to talk about how you feel, but your friend wants to solve your problem with a logical solution.

🔥 The Matching Principle
Effective conversation requires recognizing what kind of conversation is occurring and then matching each other.

To recognize the conversation type, ask yourself if the other person wants to be:

Helpful → Informational
Hugged → Emotional
Heard → Social

To connect with the person, ask a deep question.

🟢 Ask Deep Questions
To build a connection and align on the conversation type, ask deep questions:

Don’t ask:

✖️ Where do you work?
✖️ How was work today?
✖️ Where did you go to school?

Connect by asking:

✔️ What makes you excited about work?
✔️ What do you love about your job?
✔️ What was high school like?

Credit: Charles Duhigg and Super Communicators Book.

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