Evan Patterson 💅🏻

Hire Me & Win In The Attention Economy💥 I Help Founders & Startups Grow Audiences 🔥 Ghostwriting • Personal Branding • Social Selling • Community Marketing • Content Strategy • B2B Influencers • Affiliate Programs

👋🏻 You should really click the "...see more" button over there. 👉🏻

😉

I’m Evan Patterson.

Fractional CMO. Personal CMO.
LGBTQ+. AuDHD. Two cats who have main-character energy and paperwork opinions.
Metro Detroit-raised, Chicago-thriving, seeking a EU-husband for dual citizenship (kind of not joking...)

A small but vocal group of humans — plus my mother — call me the Joan Rivers of Marketing. I didn’t ask for that title, but I also didn’t give it back.

My work focuses on helping founders, CEOs, and operators stop sounding like they were assembled by committee. When people understand you quickly, everything gets easier: sales, hiring, partnerships, even that awkward moment when someone pretends they’ve heard of your company before.

My entire approach runs on feral specificity.
Egregiously unique. Audaciously effective.
Ideas with teeth. Narratives with posture. Writing that doesn’t need a spotlight to command attention.

I work in two lanes.

Evan Patterson Consulting
The Fractional CMO lane.

This is where companies finally get a marketing function that isn’t held together by vibes, hope, and a Google Doc last updated during the pandemic. I rebuild the structure, the sequencing, and the decisions that keep revenue steady instead of seasonal.

The second lane
The executive identity work.

Voice extraction. Narrative architecture. Brand presence that doesn’t wobble when the market does. There’s more coming in this lane; something I’m building quietly; and it’s shaping the way I help leaders show up with clarity and actual gravitational pull.

I build systems with staying power.
I build brands people remember without squinting.
I build marketing that earns attention because it deserves attention.

People who work well with me tend to appreciate speed, accuracy, and a sense of humor about the chaos they built before I arrived. People who want a polite museum tour of marketing usually exit early.

My goal is consistent: make you unmistakable.

Fractional Content & Community Marketing Leader

Ditch the gift cards, scrap the underutilized benefits package, and focus on the individuals in your organization instead.

Companies looking to improve performance and retention should care about helping people get further faster towards what matters most in their life. We make this easy with tools to create personalized incentives, meaningful recognition & self-defined benefits that help their people unlock "sacred funds" towards their personal life goals.

Employee Motivation Simplified.

Evan Patterson

Hi, I'm Shanna (sh-anna, rhymes with 🍌, short a)! 

I help companies turn customer and employee education into strategic, high-impact ecosystems that drive adoption, engagement, and retention. I thrive on designing scalable programs that balance business objectives, user needs, and elegant design, translating complex challenges into clear, actionable learning experiences.

I’m a systems thinker at heart—whether building onboarding journeys, certification programs, or product education experiences, I focus on designing sustainable, human-centered learning solutions that scale globally. Collaboration is my superpower: I partner with product, engineering, marketing, and operations teams to bring learning strategies to life without relying on authority alone.

Some career moments I’m proud of:

🚀 Architected complete LMS rebrand across three production environments, writing 10,000+ lines of custom code, designing templates for multiple authoring tools, and migrating 81+ courses—solo technical and creative execution with zero downtime.

🚀 Directed the educational strategy for a critical post-acquisition customer migration, achieving a perfect 100 NPS on a new certification and outperforming video engagement averages by over 40%.

🚀 Scaled a 450+ asset video learning library at Rippling, driving 86% YoY growth in active learners and creating contextual, in-app product education for multiple user personas.

🚀 Transformed a key certification program, overhauling curriculum to boost NPS by 40 points and issuing 3,800+ industry-recognized credentials.

🚀 Led a complex platform migration and content sunset at Stripe, protecting $16M+ in annual revenue for 7,000+ users.

🚀 Built TaxJar’s first customer education program from the ground up, scaling to 30,000 global users with a 93% satisfaction rating.

🚀 Rebranded and redesigned a customer-facing LMS, increasing traffic by 32% and course completion by 78% while improving UX and visual design across the platform.

🚀 Pioneered an award-winning podcast format to solve a critical student engagement problem, transforming a low-performing video series into an accessible, on-the-go learning experience.

I love solving problems, improving experiences, and making learning enjoyable and effective—and I’m always excited to explore how smart, human-centered design can drive results for both people and business.

taplio

The Battle

Evan Patterson

Shanna Seyer

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