DeHamer Landscaping

Sales Manager

Realvesco Properties

Commercial Property Manager & Database Administrator

Soul City Church

Director of Operations

JumpForward

Account Executive

Liberty University

Compliance Coordinator & Database Administrator

Director of Operations Liberty University Track and Field

Riverside Runners

Sales Associate

Hi there! Thanks for stopping by!

Here is a little about me.

I have 15+ years of experience in higher education, tech, non-profit , real-estate, and Landscaping.

My Jam?

Tech: I really enjoy nerding out on new tech.

Sales: I love the chase and helping businesses win.

Operations: Streamlining systems and process is my superpower!

Outside of work: I love hanging with my wife and (4) kiddos, sunny days at the beach, following college football (Hook'em Horns), and teeing it up for a round of golf as much as I can.

Let's chat! I'm always down to connect.

Brandon Hoskins

Evan Patterson 💅🏻

GTMadness

Co Host

Evan Patterson Consulting

Providing go-to-market marketing consulting, influencer marketing management and services, affiliate marketing management and services, product advising, social media marketing and management services and training, community marketing and management services and training, social selling and personal branding coaching, ghostwriting, copywriting, and public speaking services for B2B SaaS startups and adjacent businesses.

Freelance Digital Marketer

The Slaybook 😻

The Slaybook is a sassy, fun, educational podcast filled to the martini glass brim of high-energy conversations with natural innovators and friendly industry disruptors who bring both expertise and charisma to every episode.

Season 1 premiers Summer 2025!

Host

TerraRossa Impact Advisors

Executive Branding Consultant

SDR Leaders of USA

Partnerships Manager

SDR Leaders of EMEA

Fractional Head of Marketing

Rocket Science Branding

Fractional VP of Sales & Marketing

Inclusive Agile

Marketing Consultant

Worklyfe

Fractional Content & Community Marketing Leader

Across the Pond & Over the Rainbow

Co-Founder & Co-Host

Hire Me & Win In The Attention Economy💥 I Help Founders & Startups Grow Audiences 🔥 Ghostwriting • Personal Branding • Social Selling • Community Marketing • Content Strategy • B2B Influencers • Affiliate Programs

CURRENTLY BOOKING NEW FRACTIONAL MARKETING CLIENTS 👋🏻 You should really click the "...see more" button over there. 👉🏻

😉

👉 If you’re a B2B SaaS founder, CMO, or GTM lead looking to grow brand and pipeline without hiring a bloated marketing team—I’m your person.

🧠 I build and run lean, high-impact marketing machines for startups that want to punch above their weight.

Whether you need:

- A ghostwriter who can make your LinkedIn presence explode 💥
- A social-led content engine that actually drives pipeline
- A partner to launch influencer, affiliate, or co-marketing campaigns
- Or someone to figure out why your content flops harder than a 2008 Vine star…

🎯 I’ve got receipts and repeatable playbooks.

💡 Specialties (aka how I turn chaos into conversions):

- Fractional CMO / Head of Content & Community
- Founder/ELT Ghostwriting & Personal Brand Strategy
- B2B Social Media + Community Management (LinkedIn, Bluesky, Reddit, YouTube & more)
- Influencer & Affiliate Marketing for B2B
- Co-Marketing, Channel, & Strategic Partnerships
- Social Selling Enablement for Sales Teams
- Podcasts, Carousels, Shorts, Oh My 🎙️
- Making B2B Actually Fun (not a felony)

👥 Who I work with:

- B2B SaaS startups (Pre-Seed to Series B)
- GTM leaders ready to invest in visibility + growth
- Founders who know they need a marketing expert yesterday
- Impact-driven businesses
- Professional services and communities

📊 Why me? Glad you asked.

✅ Booked 70+ meetings/month via social selling as a BDR
✅ Ghostwritten for 100+ execs (without sounding like ChatGPT)
✅ Coached 500+ reps to increase booked meetings by 20%+
✅ Built a 26K+ audience from scratch—no bots, no BS
✅ Led 300+ influencer campaigns that generated millions of views and real pipeline
✅ Have a waiting list for my personal branding coaching (yes, it’s that good)

If we work together, we’re gonna laugh, grow fast, and make some damn good content while we’re at it.

DM me or comment on one of my posts—let’s chat. Worst case? You leave with 3 new ideas for free.

Ditch the gift cards, scrap the underutilized benefits package, and focus on the individuals in your organization instead.

Companies looking to improve performance and retention should care about helping people get further faster towards what matters most in their life. We make this easy with tools to create personalized incentives, meaningful recognition & self-defined benefits that help their people unlock "sacred funds" towards their personal life goals.

Employee Motivation Simplified.

Evan Patterson

I am never offended if your pet interrupts our call.

I'm offended if you don't show me the pet.

“He’s the Joan Rivers of Marketing” 😎 Ghostwriter for Executives ✨ Freelance Marketer 🤖 Fractional CMO 😍 Personal Branding Services 👻 Growing B2B Brands 📈 AuDHD 🧠 LGBTQ+ 🏳️‍🌈 Cat Dad 🐈

I had a potential client tell me that they didn't want to hire a fractional CMO for $10k-15k/mo per brand they own, totalling $20k-30k/mo because they claim they can find a full-time CMO for one brand for less than the price of a fractional CMO.

That's literally not how math works.

Half of LinkedIn is doing community theater. (and not a single person with taste on the costume, hair, and makeup crew)

Everyone quoting the same three reports.
Everyone trying to “add value” without having a single original thought.

Thought leadership is not about sounding smart. I mean, look at our current President here in the USA: clearly sounding smart isn't the strategy.

On a less fascist note, thought leadership is about saying something that nobody else is willing to say out loud. 

(Like, for example, releasing the Epstein files.)

If your post reads like it was written by a panel moderator, people will scroll right past it.

Here’s how to be remembered:
• Say the thing you actually think.
• Be specific.
• Bring proof.
• Don’t over-polish it until it sounds fake.
• Release the Epstein files.

The loudest people usually have nothing to say.
The sharpest ones don’t need to yell.
Mike Johnson is protecting a predator.

Stop trying to be a thought leader.
Start being someone worth thinking about. 
And release the Epstein files.

Look. I’m not working with people who support Donald Trump or what he’s doing to this country. Period.

This isn’t politics anymore. It’s about human rights, decency, and basic survival.
We’ve watched him publicly threaten to hold food assistance hostage by telling 42 million people who rely on SNAP that full benefits come only “when the Radical Left Democrats open up government.” Two federal judges ordered his administration to keep SNAP running; the administration still moved to only partially fund the month and warned of delays. States and food banks are scrambling to keep families fed. That’s cruelty as leverage. 

We’ve watched “law and order” morph into punishment politics: ICE tactics, mass detentions and deportations, even a journalist deported after 100 days in ICE custody. We’ve seen courts stepping in over aggressive federal tactics in cities. Free speech isn’t free if the price is your visa, your job, or your safety.

We’ve watched attacks on the press and protest rights: new rules restricting White House press access, crackdowns around the country, and millions taking to the streets because people feel their voices are being squeezed.

We’ve watched him talk about using lethal force without Congress by boasting that he doesn’t need a declaration of war and saying, on camera, “we’re just gonna kill people” bringing drugs into the country. That should scare anyone who cares about the Constitution or basic human life.

And yes, there are still-unfolding revelations about Epstein’s finances. Senate Finance ranking member Ron Wyden has pressed DOJ with new “follow-the-money” leads; reporting shows prosecutors probed Epstein for money-laundering alongside the sex-crimes investigation. Meanwhile, the House fight over seating Arizona’s Adelita Grijalva became entangled with a discharge petition to force a vote to release Epstein-related files — Democrats argue the delay blocked that petition; Speaker Johnson says the delay wasn’t about Epstein at all. However you slice it, the public deserves the full record. Sunshine is not optional.

So no, I’m not taking money from people who cheer this on. If you still support him, you’re not “just voting your conscience.” You’re enabling cruelty and chaos.

I don’t want your money.
I don’t want your business.
I don’t want your energy anywhere near my work.

My work is about empathy, connection, and truth. Building things that lift people up. Not helping anyone profit from hunger, fear, or intimidation.

This isn’t me being “political.” This is protest. This is refusing to pretend that cruelty is just another strategy.

If that offends you, we’re not a fit and you're not even in the proximity of meeting the basic criteria to consider yourself a minimally decent human being. I won't say I wish you harm, but I sure as hell can't say I wish you well either.

If it makes you feel seen, we probably are a fantastic fit.

The phrase “best practice” should be thrown into the sun.

It’s not best. It’s someone else’s. Usually someone with way more people and way more money.

Startups copy “best practice” from companies with entire departments for things they’re duct-taping together in Notion. Then they wonder why it breaks.

You don’t need best practice. You need something that doesn’t collapse when someone takes PTO.

Real operators don’t collect playbooks like hangovers like I did in my 20s. They build simple systems they can actually run.

Checklist for avoiding corporate cosplay like an anime convention (aka the "sans deodorant" festival):
• Ask what you can support with your current team.
• Stop forcing enterprise toys on small teams.
• Build what’s repeatable, not what’s shiny.
• Ignore every “best practice” post with stock photos of whiteboards.

Best practice is a marketing funnel. For consultants. Not for you.

taplio

The Battle

Brandon Hoskins

Evan Patterson

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taplio

The Battle

Brandon Hoskins

Evan Patterson

Followers

Posts

Engagements

Likes

Performance Score.css-goub6s{font-size:var(--chakra-fontSizes-md);font-weight:500;color:var(--chakra-colors-gray-600);display:block;margin-top:var(--chakra-space-1);}Evan Patterson's LinkedIn Performance

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Performance ScoreEvan Patterson's LinkedIn Performance