Performance Coach to Enterprise Sellers | I help you drop the mindset trash, and optimize your daily routines to eliminate procrastination | AI Obsessed | Favorite movie: Hunt for the Wilderpeople

I'm Amber, a Performance Coach dedicated to helping elite enterprise tech sellers break through their mental barriers, upgrade their habits, and skyrocket their success.

With over 800 paid coaching sessions under my belt, I’ve helped hundreds of top-performing sellers to exceed their quotas and reclaim control of their workdays. I understand the unique challenges faced by enterprise tech sellers. 

Having climbed from a blue-collar background to the fast-paced world of tech, I've experienced imposter syndrome firsthand.

I worked my way up to find myself living and working in downtown San Francisco for a unicorn tech startup. I felt like a major Imposter -- At any minute people would realize that a person with my background was not supposed to be there.

One of my favorite quotes is by Ricky Gervais: “The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.” If other people can make it up, we can too.

I came up with my own system for overcoming self doubt, and I’ve used it to help thousands of people overcome their own imposter syndrome and mindset junk.

It drives me nuts to see someone with massive potential standing in their own way. I’m obsessed with finding the right tactics that work for every different kind of person. There’s nothing more rewarding for me than seeing someone break through their barriers and realize what they’re capable of.


Outside of coaching, I enjoy:

🏊 Swimming
🚴 Mountain and road biking
🏃 Running
📽️ Documentaries - specifically about top performers
📚 Avid reader of non-fiction -- business and self-help
🏆 I’m a 2x State Champ:
💃 Once for Competition Dance (we won with a routine on Pogo Sticks!)
🎭 The other for the State Drama Competition - we won in Pantomime (professional hand talker)
👯 I love a good dance party
🎶 Constantly on the hunt for new music 
🧠 Diagnosed with ADHD later in life 
🤖 Obsessed with AI and the endless possibilities it brings


My personality:

✅ Strengths Finder: Woo, Developer, Empathy, Individualization, Competition

✅ StandOut: Provider, Advisor (I can intuitively see how someone feels, and I’m a wealth of information from experts)

✅ Kolbe A: 3-3-9-4 (Simplify, Adapt, Innovate, Restore)

✅ Myers Briggs: ENFP (Enthusiastic, Creative, and Sociable Free Spirit)

✅ Enneagram: 3 - The Achiever

Amber Deibert

Sales Performance Speaker and Coach for Enterprise Sellers | Mindset & Productivity | Creator of the Work Like You Workout™ Framework for pain-free productivity 💪

#1 in helping women become VPs and thrive in leadership | Former Exec | Certified Coach | Forbes.com contributor | Host of More Women Promoted Podcast

Ladies, we've been lied to about each other

There's a narrative that all women are competitive and catty,

That we hold each other back,
Sabotage one another,
Tear each other down,

That we're all just a bunch of mean girls

And honestly, I don't see it

I've spoken to so many successful women 
Who credit female mentors and sponsors for their success

It was almost always other women who helped them reach the C-suite

And my experience with women is no different

Sadly, when I was in leadership I didn't really know any more senior women to be my mentors and sponsors

But when I was new to the world of entrepreneurship
I had no network. Nada. So I put myself out there....

And I've met so many new women over the last few years
Who have helped me create a successful business

They've all been inspiring, supportive, and encouraging

In fact, I'm friends with women who are technically my direct competitors
And we help one another!

We cheer each other on
And we all grow

I've built a community of women in my private membership
And these women are one another's biggest cheerleaders

So let's stop spreading this narrative

Because most women want to lift one another up

Are there some bad apples?
Of course!

There will always be some women (and men) who don't support
Who sabotage each other or hold others back

But it's a minority

And this narrative isn't helping anyone
Certainly not women

So I vote we change it

Who's with me? ✌️💜

PS. If you haven't been lucky enough to have supportive women to guide your career, you're in the right place. 

A bit part of my mission is the communities of women I create - communities that let you level up, hit your goals AND find your tribe. If you want to learn more, send me a DM. 

*I didn't know any of the women in these photos 4 years ago!

You think you’re stating facts. You’re not. Enterprise sellers do this all the time:

“My manager hates me.”
“This economy is killing my deals.”
“I’m definitely getting laid off.”

Those aren’t facts. They’re interpretations. 

Story: “I’m in trouble.”
Fact: “My manager asked to meet.”

Story: “This year is a disaster.”
Fact: “I’m at 37% in Q3.”

Old Way: Treat the story like truth ↠ spiral.

New Way: Strip it to neutral ↠ choose your response.

Nothing is wrong with you. Your brain is predicting, not reporting.

In this week’s episode, I break down:
↳How to use the “court of law” test
↳ Why past layoffs distort current performance
↳ And how top sellers think differently in the same economy

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

What’s one “fact” you’ve been carrying that might actually be a story?

I grew up poor, and part of me is still trying to prove I belong.

I've been thinking a lot about what makes life meaningful.

There's a part of me who grew up poor who wants to belong. 

She's striving for any kind of status she can have: the car, the house, the title, the money, the vacations. She wants to know that she belongs with "that" crowd.

But there's another part of me who's been researching what makes humans happy. 

And that part of me knows that status is fleeting. Status will never actually create the happiness that you're looking for.

One filter that's been incredibly profound for me comes from Morgan Housel's book "The Art of Spending Money". 

He says: If you were on a deserted island, what choice would you make? 

If it were just you and your family and nobody could see what you did, would you still buy that car? Would you still buy that house? Would you still go for that title?

Using this filter to judge my decisions has been really interesting and really helpful. 

It helps me tune into what I actually want and what is going to bring me actual happiness instead of doing things because of how I think other people will perceive me.

The fact of the matter is, people might be impressed by your decisions for one day. But after about 48 hours, they're no longer impressed.

If you're chasing status, you're going to be chasing it forever.

If you're chasing what makes you genuinely happy, you create more of what gives you fulfillment in life.

We took my kindergartner to the ER this weekend, and I learned an incredible life lesson.

Thankfully, it wasn't anything life-threatening. 

They needed to do some blood work, so they had to put in an IV. 

This pediatric hospital had a wonderful person come in and explain to my daughter what was going to happen. She gave my daughter options on how to make the process a little more comfortable.

I could tell this woman was exhausted. The ER was super busy, and she seemed like she was running on fumes.

As she offered these different options to my daughter, in my head I was thinking "no, she doesn't need those things, she's fine, we don't want to be a burden. This woman could clearly use a break!"

But thankfully, she was asking my daughter directly. And (thankfully) my daughter hasn't soaked up my people-pleasing tendencies.

It was fascinating to watch. This woman would offer an option, and my daughter would just vouch for herself and say, "Yes, I want that." Another option. "Yes, I want that." Another option. "Yes, I want that."

It was so wild to see what was happening in my head. 

I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to make anybody else feel any kind of discomfort because of my needs.

But this woman was just offering options. My daughter wasn't asking for anything above and beyond. She was just saying "yes" to what was offered for her.

I wonder how often we put ourselves at a deficit because we think we're being a burden, when we're not? 

How often do we people-pleasers worry that we're being a burden when, genuinely, it's not a burden to the other person? This woman never would have offered those options unless she wanted my daughter to be able to take them (!!).

I'm setting a goal for myself to try to vouch for myself and ask for what I need. My smallest first step is that this month, when somebody offers me something I want, I'm just going to say "yes."

Like if I'm at the hair salon and they ask if I want some water, instead of saying "no, I'm fine," I'm going to say "yes, I would love some water."

It feels like the stupidest smallest change, but it is genuinely going to be so uncomfortable for me.

I've come so far in releasing my people pleasing, and moments like this help me realize I've got a lot further to go.

Thank heavens for honest and transparent kids for being an inspiration of how we can all behave.

Does anybody want to try this experiment with me? What if we just say yes when someone offers us something? LIVE LIFE ON THE WILD SIDE!

It was the third time that week a seller whispered this confession to me.

If I had a dollar for every time a seller secretly told me that time boxing doesn't work for them, I'd have a lot of dollars.

I want you to know that if time boxing doesn't work for you, it's okay.

You're not broken.

Time boxing is just one technique among a plethora of techniques to help you with your time management.

If it works for you, fantastic. If it doesn't, you're not wrong. You just don't fit into that box.

Everybody needs a slightly different technique based on your idiosyncrasies, based on your quirks, based on who you are, based on how your energy flows.

If some technique doesn't work for you, that's okay. There are so many other techniques to get to the same outcome.

If time boxing doesn't work for you, you're in such good company, and you can still be wildly successful.

I share more ideas like this in my newsletter for sellers who want to work smarter without fighting their own nature. Link in comments.

The most important thing you can do as an enterprise seller is give yourself white space in your calendar.

When you're in commercial, SMB, or mid-market, you can get better results from working more hours.

But once you get into enterprise and strategic sales, you're going to get better results by using your brain and allowing yourself to be strategic.

That strategic thinking does not happen when you're constantly sitting at your desk.

I have a seller who loves woodworking but feels guilty leaving his desk to go to his woodworking garage. I told him to think about time woodworking as time on the clock.

It's some of the most strategic time you can have.

When you're out there woodworking and you're exerting some of your nervous energy, it frees up your mind to actually think about your deals. To be strategic. To think about what you want to do next, how you want to approach things, and the point of view you want to create for a particular client.

Step away from your desk. Walk your dog. Work in the woodshop. Go exercise. Wash the dishes.

Something where you are moving your body to free up your mind to be able to think.

Thinking is the highest value activity you can do as an enterprise seller.

Don't feel guilty about stepping away from your desk to allow yourself to be strategic.

I write about mindset and productivity for enterprise sellers in my newsletter. Sign up if you want more like this.

Stop doom-scrolling by doing this one uncomfortable thing for 90 seconds.

The longer I coach, the more fascinating it is to me what we as humans do to avoid feeling our feelings.

It's so wild how society has taught us that feelings are a problem. That feelings aren't okay. That feelings are somehow a moral failing.

In reality, we are mammals. Every mammal feels feelings.

Whales feel feelings. Dogs feel feelings. Cats feel feelings.

What makes us think that we're above the rest of the animal kingdom and somehow shouldn't feel feelings?

It's amazing to me to see all the ways our brain tries to protect us from feeling as a way to create belonging.

In reality, if you just allow your feelings and let yourself feel them, they last for 90 seconds.

Once those 90 seconds are over, you feel free and clear.

You don't have to distract yourself.
You don't have to numb yourself out.
You don't have to avoid.
You don't have to react.

You can just be, and you will have moved through that feeling.

I'm pretty sure you can feel a feeling for 90 seconds.

Just think of all the time you'll save by not doom-scrolling, having not given in to your vices, by just letting yourself feel your feelings.

By just letting yourself be a mammal.

I write about mindset, productivity, and the real inner work of selling in tech. Join my newsletter if you want more like this in your inbox. {Link in comments}

You hit quota for 6 years straight. January hits. Attainment resets to zero. And your brain goes:
“What if I can’t do it again?”

Nothing is wrong with you. Your nervous system is reacting to a number, not reality.

Here’s the reset: 
Separate facts from stories.

Stories sound like:
↠ “I’m slipping.”
↠ “This year feels different.”
↠ “What if I can’t repeat it?”

Facts sound like:
↠ My attainment reset to 0.
↠ I’ve hit quota 5 of the last 6 years.
↠ I’ve closed deals this size before.

Anxiety doesn’t mean danger. It means your brain is predicting.

Old Way: Feel ↠ Spiral ↠ Hesitate.
New Way: Feel ↠ Check facts ↠ Take action.

Keep going.

In this week’s episode, I break down:
↳The cognitive distortions that sabotage enterprise sellers
↳Why your brain spirals at the start of the year
↳How to retrain your brain through action (the gym story changed everything)

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

When your number resets… what story does your brain tell you?

Slumps are not the problem. Fighting them is.

I used to think it was a really big problem anytime I found myself stuck in a slump.

Whenever I was in one, I would be like "oh no, here we go again." I'm the worst. Why does this keep happening to me? I'm gonna be stuck here forever.

Now I am not bothered by slumps at all.

I've realized that everything in nature goes through cycles of growth and decay. 

There's nothing except for cancer that grows continually without stopping. 

Everything has cycles of growth and cycles of decay, and humans are no different.

So if I just normalize that sometimes I'm in a decay cycle, it doesn't feel so bad.

By not fighting against that decay, I actually get out of that cycle faster. 

Whenever I fight against it and still try to push myself and get myself to perform, that's when I make the decay cycle last longer because I'm not giving myself the rest that I need.

The other reframe that has been really helpful is realizing that rest is just as important as exerting effort. 

The rest you take can actually be even more profound in improving your performance than exerting effort.

So now I don't see it as a problem when I am in a slump. 

I just notice, "Oh man, I guess I'm feeling tired today. I wonder what I can do that could be supportive for myself. How can I do favors for my future self? What can I take off my plate? How can I lower expectations for myself so that I can really, truly rest and then rejuvenate?"

So that when I come back to working, I'm fired up and ready to go.

I'm no longer in a place where I'm willing to push myself to burnout. It's not gonna be helpful for me or anyone else.

This year is the year of rest and spaciousness.

How about you?

Follow along if you want more posts about sustainable performance and getting out of your own way.

Slumps

I'll be like, "yeah, I'll just look at Instagram for 20 minutes, and then three hours later I'm still stuck scrolling."

It's so hard for me to stop. I can't always trust myself to get out.

And so, rather than expecting myself to be something different than what I am, I've just decided to put guardrails in place so that I can make it easy for myself to be the version of myself that I want to be.

One of the best hacks that has been game-changing for me is plugging in my phone in the bathroom.

Rather than charging my phone on my nightstand, where it's within reach and easy to get to, I put it in my bathroom to charge at night. That way, I can't easily grab it.

It also helps because then my alarm goes off in the bathroom and I have to get out of bed to turn it off, which makes it more likely that I stay out of bed.

I heard another funny hack that was, if you want to scroll in your bedroom, you have to do it standing up. You can't sit down or lie down. Because then if you're standing up, you won't do it for as long.

I tried it, and I hated it. So I just plugged my phone in the bathroom and left it.

I do have my Kindle on my nightstand now so that whenever I'm feeling like I need some kind of stimulation and I want to look at a screen, I read books. Usually they're non-fiction, and they're boring, so they put me to sleep, and then I just go to bed, and then I wake up early and go to the gym, and everyone wins.

If you're having trouble with your phone, try charging it in the bathroom.

Anyone else have useful hacks like this for reducing your screen time?

Why do we doomscroll instead of taking care of the one task that would relieve our minds?

You might be procrastinating because you're overwhelmed, not because you're an inferior human who can't get work done.

The thing with overwhelm that's super interesting is that when any human feels overwhelmed, instead of fixing the thing that's causing their overwhelm, they just stop in their tracks and distract themselves.

Over this past holiday break, my kids were home 24/7, and I love to have a clean, organized house. 

For me, inner order equals outer calm.

But having my kids home 24/7 meant there were disasters everywhere. 

I would clean off the counter, and pretty soon, there would be a craft covering the entire counter that had been abandoned.

You would think I would look at that messy kitchen and take care of it, so I didn't feel overwhelmed anymore.

But instead, I would just go lie on the couch and doom scroll until I felt horrible about myself.

This is what happens to anybody who feels overwhelmed. 

Instead of taking action on the things you want to be doing or need to be doing, you just stop in your tracks and probably doom scroll or distract yourself by seeking dopamine.

The solution to overwhelm is so simple.

Rather than stopping in your tracks, you can just break down the tasks smaller. 

Start with the next smallest thing you can do. 

Add more clarity for yourself on what actually needs to happen.

My funny hack for cleaning: Whenever I am cleaning my kitchen, I tell myself, "I'm not cleaning, I'm just moving things from one place to another."

It tricks my brain into getting into action in a small way instead of feeling super overwhelmed that I have to clean the entire thing.

What's one task you've been avoiding that might actually just need to be broken into smaller pieces?

You’re not “too nice.” You’re a master of survival.

If you’ve ever felt like being adaptable helped you succeed, but now it’s burning you out, you might be dealing with people pleasing.

Here’s how it starts (and why it sticks):

↠As a kid, chaos felt safer if you believed you were the cause
↠Blaming yourself = a sense of control
↠So you got really good at reading the room, adjusting, absorbing emotion

That helped you win… until it didn’t

Old Way: Be everything for everyone

New Way: Be yourself and trust it’s enough

In this week’s episode, I break down:
 ↳ Why people pleasing feels safe
 ↳ The identity crisis that comes with letting it go
 ↳ A real story that slapped me in the face (in a good way)

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. 

What’s one way people pleasing shows up for you at work?

Feeling your feelings is the fastest productivity hack no one talks about.

It's always wild to me how much our emotions hold us back.

And I don't mean in the toxic way where we shouldn't feel our emotions, and emotions are pointless.

I mean that we let the emotions drive the show rather than just feeling them and allowing them and processing them.

Once you learn how to process your feelings, you realize that it only takes about 90 seconds to let that emotion leave your body.

The emotion is processed when you:

↳  Honor the feeling (there's good information in this feeling)
↳  Allow the feeling (it's just a physical sensation)
↳  Tell yourself that it's totally fine that you feel this way. (Anybody would feel this way. You have to normalize your experience.)

And then once you do, you just let yourself feel the physical sensation of that emotion. 

You notice it, become really curious about it, and watch to see what happens.

After about 90 seconds, the sensation passes, and you'll feel so free and so clear and so focused and ready to take on anything.

So rather than:

↳  shoving down your emotions
↳  bottling them up
↳  avoiding them
↳  neglecting them
↳  telling yourself that you shouldn't be feeling them
↳  telling yourself that there's something wrong with you that you feel that way…

Try allowing them.

Try letting yourself feel that way.

Give yourself 90 seconds to process that emotion, and you'll find that they're no longer driving the show.

You're free and clear and ready to take action on the things that are important to you.

I write about managing your mindset and energy so you can work with more clarity and less resistance. Join my newsletter if that sounds helpful. {Link in comments}

Last week, someone asked where I'm from, and I froze.

"Where are you from?" is such a loaded question.

Are you asking where I grew up?
Where was I born?
Where did I discover my identity?

Because those are all different answers.

I'm in a weird spot because the place where I live right now isn't a reflection of who I am. If you stereotype the kind of person who lives where I live, I don't fit that stereotype.

Sometimes I claim a different place. I tell people where I'm living now, but then I explain that I'm really from the place where I found myself, where I uncovered myself, where I discovered who I was.

If you want to stereotype me, do it based on the place where I feel most at home.

Sometimes people ask me what high school I went to, which is even trickier. 

I went to high school in the poor part of town, but I don't like to be judged on that.

It wasn't my decision to live there. It wasn't my choices that caused me to grow up in poverty.

Don't judge me or stereotype me based on where I went to high school. Judge me based on the choices I've made, the decisions I've made, and the success I've achieved.

Am I the only one who feels this way, or are there other people who have a hard time answering this question, too?

Wow. Terry Rice, I'm in tears, and so inspired by you. Thank you for sharing your story, and this beautiful documentary!

You really did turn the worst moment in your life into something we all get to benefit from now.

https://lnkd.in/gfJB-NSM

Open article: Documentary by terryrice.co

I’m passionate about empowering women and helping to close the gender gap in senior leadership. 

I spent 18 years in tech and biotech sales, holding positions as a VP and EVP, Sales. Along the way I introduced many brand new technologies to market, built a commercial organization from scratch, and scaled a hyper-growth team to achieve 9 digit revenue growth in 2 years.

Despite this success, I struggled for years with my transition from Manager to Director to VP, and even asked myself if I was cut out to be a senior executive.  

Finally, I ‘figured it out’ and had the confidence, knowledge and skills that I needed to be an impactful leader. 

My mission at Insights to Action is to help others get there by sharing what I’ve learned.

I want to use my passion to help more women transition to senior leadership and help leaders make that leap from unsure and unfocused to strategic, decisive and outcome driven - all without burning out. My goal is to help women thrive as executives, instead of merely surviving. 

I would love to work with you on your journey and look forward to connecting!

Read about what some of my clients are saying: https://www.insightstoactioncc.com/testimonials

Katy McFee

I help women become execs and thrive in leadership - Former Exec | Certified Coach | Forbes.com contributor

At Insights to Action I help female execs and aspiring female leaders become the leaders they want to be and thrive as executives all without burning out. 

I offer group coaching programs for women looking to break through to executive leadership and 1:1 immersive executive coaching for current execs who want to level up and show up as the amazing, effective leaders they know they can be, while still living a life they love.

Things I didn't do this morning:
- read
- meditate 
- cold plunge
- visualizations
- intermittent fast
- start my day with lemon water instead of coffee

And despite my less than perfect morning…

I'm still ‘successful’. 

Don't get me wrong, all of the things on that list are wonderful ways to start your day

If you start your day like this, kudos to you!

But we're all in different seasons...

In this season of my life, 
I exercise and meditate in the morning 5 days a week

And one day a week I take a total break from my routine (usually Sunday)

As for the rest of the list....
Maybe one day, but for now 3 kids and 2 dogs keep me busy enough ;)

And here's the thing:
For almost all of my professional career
I didn't do ANY of these things in the morning

My only goal was to get everyone fed and out the door alive

And yet, I've been able to build a great life that includes professional success.

My point is this:
If you've yet to master the 'perfect' morning routine, 
Don't beat yourself up.

There are many ways to start your day and still be successful, 
Whatever that may mean to you.

In case you need to hear this, I’m officially giving you permission to cut yourself some slack 

You're allowed to choose a huge coffee and couch hang over being productive on this beautiful Sunday
✌️💜

Let's normalize a max number of meetings a day

Let's make it 4. Maybe 5. MAX. 

If someone already has 5 meetings in their calendar, you can't book another one

Because if we REALLY want to promote mental health and avoid burnout

We can't also ask people to do workdays with 10 back-to-back meetings

I've been there.

12-16 meetings in a single day

No time to eat. 
No time to get your actual 'work' done.
And when the day is over, your head is spinning.

Too many women I know spend their whole day in meetings
And do their actual work in the evenings

That's bullshit.

Let's just stop doing that to people.

Who's in? ✌️💜

Hit 'repost' to spread the word

It's easy to forget just how far you've come

Because too often, as soon as you hit a goal,
You create a new one... a little further away

You celebrate for a moment
And then you're back at it

I was thinking about my own journey recently and it really hit me

I grew up a shy little girl who just wanted people to like her
In highschool, I couldn't give a speech in front of my class without turning beet red and losing my breath

When I think about how proud past me would be if she were here,
It puts things in a whole new perspective

What if we measured our success by how much we've grown,
And everything we've accomplished in our own life...

Instead of worrying about what other people are doing?

That little girl in you doesn't care that your neighbour has a nicer car,
Or that you're not everything in life perfectly.

That little girl in you is just so damn proud of what you've become ✌️💜 

____________________________________________________

I'm Katy McFee, former VP and EVP turned leadership coach. I help women smash the glass ceiling and thrive as senior leaders. DM me to learn how I can help you, too.

I flew to Dublin from Canada for the weekend 

Seems crazy for a weekend, but it was 100% worth it to me

Why? Because there is nothing like spending time with the right people

There's nothing more valuable than finding your tribe
And allowing them to challenge and support you

It's been hard for me to find these people
Most of my longtime friends can't relate to my business, ambitions or challenges

And you may wonder why that matters
But I really believe it does. Especially for women

Because there are so few of us:
- With big ambitions
- In senior levels of leadership
- Running 7-figure businesses

And not only is that lonely AF
It also puts us at a disadvantage strategically

I came home from the weekend with new clarity into what I needed to do
And answers to some of the challenges that I've been struggling with

Not only that - my cup was overflowing ❤️ 

I'm curious - have you found your tribe?
Give a shoutout to your work or business besties!
✌💜 

__________________________________

I'm Katy McFee, former VP and EVP turned leadership coach. I help women land first-time VP roles and thrive as senior execs. 

If you're a VP or C-level executive who's been trying to find your tribe, DM me to learn more about a unique, invite-only group I'm creating.

Red flags I ignored for YEARS:

- Getting sick regularly, and getting VERY sick at least 1-2 x a year
- Needing coffee to wake up and wine every night to decompress
- Dry skin patches on my face
- A 10cm ovarian cyst

The writing was on the wall... I was headed for burnout,

And I didn't even realize it.

Because I didn't recognize that these were all signs of too much stress in my life

When I eventually did burn out, it was brutal
I was not my normally happy, energetic self
 
In fact, I was more mentally fragile than I'd ever been
And I didn't know how to snap out of it.

This was not something that could be cured with a week in Mexico. 
In fact, it took over a YEAR to get back to myself.

I'm sharing this so you don't make the same mistake I did and ignore the signs.

Other common signs to watch for are:
- having difficulty sleeping
- heart palpitations
- GI issues

Was it worth sacrificing my health just to make someone else a bunch of money and hope for a promotion?

No, my friends, it was not.

Life is short. Your career is long. 
Put yourself first. ✌️💜

Follow me Katy McFee for more posts on women in leadership

__________________________________________________

Hi, I'm Katy. I'm a former VP and EVP who's on the mission to close the gender gap by helping women land their first VP role and thrive as executives. Follow me for more posts on women in leadership

My friends, here's the cold, hard truth:

No one cares about your career as much as you do.

Certainly not your manager. 

Yet I still hear people complain that their manager isn't helping them get promoted.

If you leave your future in someone else's hands,
You'll likely end up disappointed.

It's up to you to make the future you want happen. 

But here's the silver lining:

No one else SHOULD be deciding your path, 
because you're the one who has to live it!

I've had smart, talented people working for me, who wanted ME to map out their career path

That's just NOT a good idea

Because you and I may be passionate about very different things.
You may hate doing the same things that light me up
And vice versa

Can your boss help you identify strengths and weaknesses?

You bet.

But you are the one who needs to create the vision for your career 
AND make it happen.

That may mean investing in your development outside of work
It may mean finding a new mentor or coach
It may even mean a new job

The first step is to take radical accountability for your career.
The second is to aim as high as your heart's desire.

And if landing a director or VP role is part of that vision, 
And you're not sure where to start
Book a free strategy call with me personally here: https://lnkd.in/dqAvbyu9 
✌️💜

PS. I rarely offer these calls, but my salesperson is on mat leave, so here's your chance ;)

_____________________________________________

I'm Katy, former VP and EVP turned executive coach. I'm #1 in helping women land that first-time VP role and thrive there, without burning out. Follow me for all things women in leadership.

The long-term impact of a toxic boss is SCARY

The problem is, you keep telling yourself:

"6 more months and I'll look for something else"
"It's really not that bad..."
"I can't make this kind of money anywhere else"

But you don't realize that the impact of working in this type of environment follows you long after you leave

Even once you're in a new job with a great boss...
Or you have that promotion you've dreamed of...

You're doubting yourself.

You're holding back from making decisions and wondering if you're any good at your job.

What's going on?

All of those times your boss made you feel inadequate left a mark,

Each time you were undermined or devalued... 
Those events chipped away at the confidence you once had.

And now you - the person who used to be so confident - wonder if you're cut out for this...

I have seen this happen to SO MANY people.
And it takes a lot of work to get that confidence back again.

This is a friendly reminder that if you're in an unsupportive, toxic work environment, 
It's not worth sticking it out for another year.

Your self-worth is just more important.

And if you're in the scenario I've described above, know you're not alone.

Recognizing the root cause is the first step to working through this and regaining your confidence ✌️💜

♻️ Hit repost to spread the word.

There are 2 types of people in this world:

Those who end the year with 20 unused vacation days
And are constantly being told they need to use them or lose them

And those who use every single vacation day they get

I, my friends, am the latter

I always have been

I remember talking to a friend of mine, also in leadership

She was talking about how her company was going to pay out her vacation because she had far too many days that she was never going to able to use them

I was sharing that I often used my days faster than I accrued them
I had a young family, and it was important to me to take time off and create memories with them

And here's the thing: we BOTH ended up becoming executives
And we both had successful careers

The reason I share this, is that as women, we put WAY too much pressure on ourselves

We think we need to do it all, and never get a break
We try so hard to ensure we're seen as committed

But ladies, depriving yourself of time off or vacations does not guarantee you an exec role

In fact, I'd argue they aren't even related

You can go through life like my friend did, never taking a day off
Or you can take every day you get

And you can be successful either way
So choose what's right for you ✌️💜

I'm headed to Mexico today with one of my besties - we do this girls trip every year and it is SO worth it! I'll be back in a week, walking slower, cup full.

My friend's uncle died within a year of retiring
My client's dad - the same thing

It's actually not an uncommon story...
I've heard countless versions, but they are all similar.

This person worked their entire life without really enjoying it
They scrimped and saved, never taking a real vacation

All in the name of finally enjoying the fruits of their labour once they retired...

And then, boom. They get cancer or have a heart attack
And that future they put on hold is suddenly gone

I learned an important lesson from this:

Don't wait for retirement to enjoy your life
In fact, decide what your ideal life looks like, and start living it TODAY

That doesn't mean being financially irresponsible,
It's being intentional about your priorities and the way you spend your time

Here's a simple exercise that has helped me a ton:
1. Visualize your ideal 'one day' life
- Consider all of the elements of this life: people, hobbies, travel etc...

2. Determine which of these elements you can start bringing into your life today

Eg. Maybe you want to retire in Hawaii... could you start working there for 2 months of the year now? Or even taking an annual vacation there?

Or maybe your vision of retirement includes a strong community, 
But today, you work 80-hour weeks and barely see friends. 

Can you put a recurring event on your calendar to see friends once a week?

The details will be different depending on your priorities
But the theme is the same: Start living your best life now

And the small things we do every week are what make up that big life. 

I started this a couple of years back and the result has been dramatic
In many ways, I'm living my dream life

What does this look like for you??
✌️💜

My boss thought I'd never be a VP

Guess what? He was wrong.

6 months later, I was rocking a VP role. 
And doing it well. 

What changed?

3 things changed my trajectory:

1. I worked with a coach

This person was ultimately the one who helped me see that I was in the wrong place.

I've learned over the years that coaching almost always gives me a 10X return. 
This is just one example of it. 

2. I changed my mindset

By that point, my confidence was shot. I had stopped believing that I was a great executive, and that was impacting how I was showing up. 

I needed to work through that before it was going to happen for me.

Once I did that, a new opportunity practically fell into my lap.

3. I got support

I didn't try to figure this out on my own. I asked for help. I asked for feedback.

I created my own 'personal board of directors' so I could bounce ideas and get support. 

The company I joined as a VP was already crushing it, but needed sales culture, some good processes, and the right people and structure.

This is where I came in. 
And we achieved 9-digit growth over 2 years.

Imagine I had given up...

This is your friendly reminder that sometimes you're just in the wrong place.

And also, that coaches are awesome ;) ✌️💜

You'll never get promoted to VP with director-level habits
 
This is something many people miss
Because when we think 'habits' we usually don't think about our habits at work
 
But these small, automatic behaviours may be communicating that you're not ready for that next level
 
Things like:
Documenting decisions vs. documenting logic
 
Or asking for resources vs. framing the trade-off
 
In today's newsletter, I share 5 habits that signal you're VP-ready (or not)
 
And I break them down to clearly explain the difference between the director-level habit and the VP-level habit
 
If you're looking to step into a VP role
This may be game-changing for you
 
Happy reading ✌️💜

The following is an excerpt from my FREE Weekly Insights Newsletter. Subscribe now, and you’ll immediately get the full article delivered to your inbo

Open article: 5 Habits That Signal You're VP-Ready by Katy McFee • 3 min read

I was successful on the outside, but a trainwreck inside

I had a nice car. A great title. A good 6-fig salary. And ZERO balance in my life.

My typical day in 2019:
- Wake up to an alarm feeling rough. Hit snooze.
- Check email and Slack from bed
- Chug coffee and rush to get everyone out the door (chaos)
- Commute to work - spend all day in my office. 
- Drink too much coffee. Eat lunch at my desk.
- Eat some cheese and crackers or popcorn for dinner
- Drink 1/2 bottle of wine to feel a little better
- Work on my phone while watching the kids
- Go to bed later than I wanted to
- Repeat

The result: Eventually, I completely burnt out.
I wasn't happy. I wasn't healthy.
I felt totally out of control.

My typical day now:
- Wake up before the family (and before my alarm) to work out and meditate
- Spend quality time with my kiddo
- Work from home, taking a full hour at lunch to eat something healthy and go for a walk
- Make a healthy dinner
- Skip the wine. Skip working on my phone.
- Get into bed early, read my book, write in my gratitude journal and do some affirmations
- Sleep by 10pm at the latest

I can not stress what a 180 my life has taken and how much I will NEVER go back

I thought I loved the hustle. 

I thought it was cool to drink wine and eat popcorn for dinner every night. 
To neglect myself in the name of my 'big' career.
To work hard and play harder. 

But it wasn't. It was bullshit and I ended up in a really bad place.

If you're like me... addicted to the hustle, my message for you is this.

When it finally catches up with you, it really sucks.
And you create 10x more success when you feel GOOD

Life is short. Your career is long. 
Put yourself first. ✌️💜

Follow me Katy McFee for more posts on women in leadership


__________________________________________________

Hi, I'm Katy. I'm a former VP and EVP who's on the mission to close the gender gap by helping women land their first VP role and thrive as executives. Follow me for more posts on women in leadership

Being too 'productive' held me back from promotions

And most of the women I know get caught in this trap too.

I get it... You're the person who gets sh!t done!

When something needs to get done, 
Everyone knows they can give it to you 
And trust that you won't drop the ball...

You crank out work like no one else
And take pride that your output is so much more than that of your colleagues

So then, why did that last promotion not go to you??

This was me, and it's so many of the women I know.

Here's what I learned (the long and painful way):

Output doesn't get you promoted

Sharing the right insights and demonstrating exec-level judgement does

And a big part of that is ensuring people know the value you're bringing

When the women in my program learn this
They quickly go from indispensable and appreciated (but stuck)
To getting tapped for that next VP role

Want to learn how? 
I'm doing my most-loved workshop live, one week from today:
From Invisible to Influential: The 4-step recognition framework

Grab your spot here: https://lnkd.in/dkkusymd 

You're doing the work, so let's get you recognized. ✌️💜

I've been there. 
Staying in a role, 
Working my a$$ off
Hoping for a promotion that never comes.

If you're wondering whether to stick it out or move on, there are 5 signs your boss isn't planning to promote you:

1. Limited feedback
If you ask for feedback and all you get is, "Keep doing what you're doing" this is probably not a good thing!

If your boss sees potential in you, they'll share constructive feedback to help you get better 

Tip: Ask your boss to provide you with more specific feedback about what they see as your next role, and how ready you are. 

2. No stretch assignments
Stretch assignments are often a way for your manager to see how you operate at the next level. 

If you aren't getting anything outside of your scope, this might be a sign that they aren't thinking of you. 

Hint: Ask for a stretch assignment if it's not being offered. 

3. Absent career conversations
If you aren't talking about your career progression, there's a good chance they are not thinking about it. 

Tip: Take the initiative and bring up this conversation. 

4. Short-term focus
A lack of long-term focus can mean that you're seen as temporary and not as a long-term prospect within your organization or team. 

Tip: Have a conversation about your longer term goals at the company, and engage your manager in supporting you. 

5. No investment in your development
If your manager is not investing in your growth and providing resources or training to help you get better, it may be a sign that they aren't trying to develop you for the next level.

Tip: Take matters into your own hands! If your manager won't invest in you, invest in yourself. 

Remember, you don't have to wait for your boss to decide your future. 

You can take control and initiate a career development conversation. 

You might not be on their radar today, but you can change that! 

✌️💜

5 signs your boss is not going to promote you

You speak up, volunteer for high-profile projects and present confidently
 
You're known and liked... but still getting passed over
 
What the heck is going on??
 
I was thinking about this recently, because I talk a lot about the importance of creating visibility
 
And I realized that there's a key element I've been leaving out:
The type of visibility matters
 
Most women toggle between reactive visibility and performative visibility
 
And neither of these are going to get you what you want
 
In today's newsletter, I break down the 3 types of visibility
And explain why visibility itself isn't the goal - leverage is
 
Happy reading ✌️💜

Open article: Visibility Is Not the Goal - Leverage Is by Katy McFee • 2 min read

Want to do something meaningful on International Women's Day?

Here are 3 ways you can actually make a difference:

1. Connect a future female leader with a potential sponsor (bonus points if the sponsor is another woman)

2. Speak up for a female colleague when she’s interrupted in a meeting, or when someone echos her idea and gets the credit

3. Like, engage, or share posts from strong female creators to give them more visibility

And for the leaders out there, here are 3 just for you:

1. Look at your team and ask yourself whether it needs more diversity. If it does, make a commitment to fix it. 

2. Review your mat leave policy and ask yourself if you can make it better. Or, think of one way you can support mothers transitioning back from mat leave better.

3. Make female coaches available to the women on your team, even if that means going outside your organization. Pay for that development for them. 

Let's advocate for diversity, equity, and inclusion all year long, not just this month. 

You can start with the small actions you take every day. ✌️💜

PS. To celebrate IWD, I've decided to give away my $297 digital course - Master Executive Presence - for FREE! 

Why? Because my goal is to help more women build their executive presence and land that next leadership role, and this is a great way to get started. 

Grab it here, and help me on my mission by sharing this with other women! Let's help as many women as possible get their seat at the table. 

https://lnkd.in/d-gDEepi

Here's the big secret I wish I knew as a director

When I was frustrated and headed towards burnout:

Manager and director level is the #1 place people get 'stuck'. 

The challenge for me, and so many others is that what got you here, 
Is NOT what will get you to the next level.

In fact, what got you here is exactly what will keep you stuck. 

What do I mean?

Early in your career, you're rewarded for being a strong executor. 

Work hard, 
Do the right things, 
Execute flawlessly 
And you'll be successful.

Many people continue to run this same playbook, and then wonder why they can't get promoted past a manager or director level.

But what no one has told you, is that at the director/VP level
You're expected to suddenly have a very different set of skills.

Focusing on execution is no longer what makes you successful

Now you need to think about your function on a broader level, 
You need to be strategic in how you approach ideas and exercise the right judgement.

You need to be thinking more, and doing less. 

Not everyone can make this jump
But for most people, once they learn the new way, they're able to start showing up as a leader who has space, focuses on the right things, and gets promoted. 

If you're struggling here, I want to personally invite you to my workshop happening at 12pm ET TODAY. Check out the comments for the sign up link.

Remember, executing the same playbook that got you promoted to manager is not going to get you to the next level.

Less doing 
More thinking.

You got this! ✌️💜

"I'm SO busy!" "Back-to-back meetings all day!" "Work's crazy!"

These statements have become a badge of honour.

Can we talk about healthy boundaries?

As someone who was not always great at this, I get it.

It's easy to feel like you just need to push through this next month or quarter, 
And then things will start to ease up.

I told myself the same thing for years.

But here's the thing, they never actually ease up.

Just as in your personal life, it's important to set boundaries in our professional lives.

This may look different for different people - the key is to decide what works for you

Here are a few ideas:

- Blocking off your lunch hour to take a walk outside
- Starting your morning intentionally and not looking at email until 9am
- Fully unplugging from work on the weekends to focus on yourself
- Setting a maximum # of meetings per day and sticking to it
- Eating dinner with the family every night, no phone

Life is short. Your career is long. Put yourself first. ✌️💜

Which of these are you implementing?

_____________________________________________
♻️ Repost to help others!

I'm Katy, former EVP turned leadership coach. I help women get their seat at the table and thrive there. Follow me for all things women in leadership.

I went from never unplugging to multiple vacations a year

And let me tell you, I'll never go back!

But for years, I was so afraid to unplug.
Although I took vacations, I was constantly on Slack and email.

I was rarely fully present.

If this sounds familiar, I get it.
I see you. I WAS you. 

It can feel as though priorities are never-ending 
And there's never a good time to take a vacation.

So, here are 5 things I learned in the last 20 years that I hope will make you think:

1. No one at work notices when you spend your whole vacation working. Seriously. 

And even if they do, it's soon forgotten. 

2. No one remembers the length of your mat leave. If you choose to cut it short out of guilt (I'm mostly thinking of my Euro and Canadian ladies here), no one will really remember long-term. 

So take the time you want.

3. The only people who will remember you working that whole vacation? Your family. 

And guess what? They're the ones who care more about you than anyone in the world. 
And they'll never lay you off.
Prioritize them. 

4. People who are rested and take breaks/ vacations are more focused, creative, and productive. 

Believe it or not, showing up as your best self at work is easier when you take breaks.
Take breaks daily. Schedule vacations.
Consider it a strategy. 

5. Delegating to your team not only frees up your time, it also allows them to gain visibility and recognition.

Make work better for both of you and give up some damn control. 

Tomorrow I fly home from my favourite place to vacation in Mexico
I spent the week doing a bit of work, but mostly doing:
- Yoga
- Meditation
- Sound baths
- Cacao ceremonies
- Eating amazing food
- Hanging with my bestie

And I have my next 3 trips planned already
Some business, some pleasure, and all because I love it.

Anyone else? ✌️💜

__________________________________________________

Hi, I'm Katy. I'm a former VP and EVP who's on the mission to close the gender gap by helping women land their first VP role and thrive as executives. Follow me for more posts on women in leadership

taplio

The Battle

Amber Deibert

Katy McFee

Followers

Posts

Engagements

Likes

Performance ScoreAmber Deibert's LinkedIn Performance

Performance ScoreKaty McFee's LinkedIn Performance

Ready to grow your LinkedIn presence?

taplio

The Battle

Amber Deibert

Katy McFee

Followers

Posts

Engagements

Likes

Performance Score.css-goub6s{font-size:var(--chakra-fontSizes-md);font-weight:500;color:var(--chakra-colors-gray-600);display:block;margin-top:var(--chakra-space-1);}Amber Deibert's LinkedIn Performance

Performance ScoreKaty McFee's LinkedIn Performance

Ready to grow your LinkedIn presence?

Performance ScoreAmber Deibert's LinkedIn Performance