Performance Coach to Enterprise Sellers | I help you drop the mindset trash, and optimize your daily routines to eliminate procrastination | AI Obsessed | Favorite movie: Hunt for the Wilderpeople

I'm Amber, a Performance Coach dedicated to helping elite enterprise tech sellers break through their mental barriers, upgrade their habits, and skyrocket their success.

With over 800 paid coaching sessions under my belt, I’ve helped hundreds of top-performing sellers to exceed their quotas and reclaim control of their workdays. I understand the unique challenges faced by enterprise tech sellers. 

Having climbed from a blue-collar background to the fast-paced world of tech, I've experienced imposter syndrome firsthand.

I worked my way up to find myself living and working in downtown San Francisco for a unicorn tech startup. I felt like a major Imposter -- At any minute people would realize that a person with my background was not supposed to be there.

One of my favorite quotes is by Ricky Gervais: “The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.” If other people can make it up, we can too.

I came up with my own system for overcoming self doubt, and I’ve used it to help thousands of people overcome their own imposter syndrome and mindset junk.

It drives me nuts to see someone with massive potential standing in their own way. I’m obsessed with finding the right tactics that work for every different kind of person. There’s nothing more rewarding for me than seeing someone break through their barriers and realize what they’re capable of.


Outside of coaching, I enjoy:

🏊 Swimming
🚴 Mountain and road biking
🏃 Running
📽️ Documentaries - specifically about top performers
📚 Avid reader of non-fiction -- business and self-help
🏆 I’m a 2x State Champ:
💃 Once for Competition Dance (we won with a routine on Pogo Sticks!)
🎭 The other for the State Drama Competition - we won in Pantomime (professional hand talker)
👯 I love a good dance party
🎶 Constantly on the hunt for new music 
🧠 Diagnosed with ADHD later in life 
🤖 Obsessed with AI and the endless possibilities it brings


My personality:

✅ Strengths Finder: Woo, Developer, Empathy, Individualization, Competition

✅ StandOut: Provider, Advisor (I can intuitively see how someone feels, and I’m a wealth of information from experts)

✅ Kolbe A: 3-3-9-4 (Simplify, Adapt, Innovate, Restore)

✅ Myers Briggs: ENFP (Enthusiastic, Creative, and Sociable Free Spirit)

✅ Enneagram: 3 - The Achiever

Amber Deibert

Sales Performance Speaker and Coach for Enterprise Sellers | Mindset & Productivity | Creator of the Work Like You Workout™ Framework for pain-free productivity 💪

#1 in helping women become VPs and thrive in leadership | Former Exec | Certified Coach | Forbes.com contributor | Host of More Women Promoted Podcast

Ladies, we've been lied to about each other

There's a narrative that all women are competitive and catty,

That we hold each other back,
Sabotage one another,
Tear each other down,

That we're all just a bunch of mean girls

And honestly, I don't see it

I've spoken to so many successful women 
Who credit female mentors and sponsors for their success

It was almost always other women who helped them reach the C-suite

And my experience with women is no different

Sadly, when I was in leadership I didn't really know any more senior women to be my mentors and sponsors

But when I was new to the world of entrepreneurship
I had no network. Nada. So I put myself out there....

And I've met so many new women over the last few years
Who have helped me create a successful business

They've all been inspiring, supportive, and encouraging

In fact, I'm friends with women who are technically my direct competitors
And we help one another!

We cheer each other on
And we all grow

I've built a community of women in my private membership
And these women are one another's biggest cheerleaders

So let's stop spreading this narrative

Because most women want to lift one another up

Are there some bad apples?
Of course!

There will always be some women (and men) who don't support
Who sabotage each other or hold others back

But it's a minority

And this narrative isn't helping anyone
Certainly not women

So I vote we change it

Who's with me? ✌️💜

PS. If you haven't been lucky enough to have supportive women to guide your career, you're in the right place. 

A bit part of my mission is the communities of women I create - communities that let you level up, hit your goals AND find your tribe. If you want to learn more, send me a DM. 

*I didn't know any of the women in these photos 4 years ago!

I grew up poor, and part of me is still trying to prove I belong.

I've been thinking a lot about what makes life meaningful.

There's a part of me who grew up poor who wants to belong. 

She's striving for any kind of status she can have: the car, the house, the title, the money, the vacations. She wants to know that she belongs with "that" crowd.

But there's another part of me who's been researching what makes humans happy. 

And that part of me knows that status is fleeting. Status will never actually create the happiness that you're looking for.

One filter that's been incredibly profound for me comes from Morgan Housel's book "The Art of Spending Money". 

He says: If you were on a deserted island, what choice would you make? 

If it were just you and your family and nobody could see what you did, would you still buy that car? Would you still buy that house? Would you still go for that title?

Using this filter to judge my decisions has been really interesting and really helpful. 

It helps me tune into what I actually want and what is going to bring me actual happiness instead of doing things because of how I think other people will perceive me.

The fact of the matter is, people might be impressed by your decisions for one day. But after about 48 hours, they're no longer impressed.

If you're chasing status, you're going to be chasing it forever.

If you're chasing what makes you genuinely happy, you create more of what gives you fulfillment in life.

You think you’re stating facts. You’re not. Enterprise sellers do this all the time:

“My manager hates me.”
“This economy is killing my deals.”
“I’m definitely getting laid off.”

Those aren’t facts. They’re interpretations. 

Story: “I’m in trouble.”
Fact: “My manager asked to meet.”

Story: “This year is a disaster.”
Fact: “I’m at 37% in Q3.”

Old Way: Treat the story like truth ↠ spiral.

New Way: Strip it to neutral ↠ choose your response.

Nothing is wrong with you. Your brain is predicting, not reporting.

In this week’s episode, I break down:
↳How to use the “court of law” test
↳ Why past layoffs distort current performance
↳ And how top sellers think differently in the same economy

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

What’s one “fact” you’ve been carrying that might actually be a story?

We took my kindergartner to the ER this weekend, and I learned an incredible life lesson.

Thankfully, it wasn't anything life-threatening. 

They needed to do some blood work, so they had to put in an IV. 

This pediatric hospital had a wonderful person come in and explain to my daughter what was going to happen. She gave my daughter options on how to make the process a little more comfortable.

I could tell this woman was exhausted. The ER was super busy, and she seemed like she was running on fumes.

As she offered these different options to my daughter, in my head I was thinking "no, she doesn't need those things, she's fine, we don't want to be a burden. This woman could clearly use a break!"

But thankfully, she was asking my daughter directly. And (thankfully) my daughter hasn't soaked up my people-pleasing tendencies.

It was fascinating to watch. This woman would offer an option, and my daughter would just vouch for herself and say, "Yes, I want that." Another option. "Yes, I want that." Another option. "Yes, I want that."

It was so wild to see what was happening in my head. 

I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to make anybody else feel any kind of discomfort because of my needs.

But this woman was just offering options. My daughter wasn't asking for anything above and beyond. She was just saying "yes" to what was offered for her.

I wonder how often we put ourselves at a deficit because we think we're being a burden, when we're not? 

How often do we people-pleasers worry that we're being a burden when, genuinely, it's not a burden to the other person? This woman never would have offered those options unless she wanted my daughter to be able to take them (!!).

I'm setting a goal for myself to try to vouch for myself and ask for what I need. My smallest first step is that this month, when somebody offers me something I want, I'm just going to say "yes."

Like if I'm at the hair salon and they ask if I want some water, instead of saying "no, I'm fine," I'm going to say "yes, I would love some water."

It feels like the stupidest smallest change, but it is genuinely going to be so uncomfortable for me.

I've come so far in releasing my people pleasing, and moments like this help me realize I've got a lot further to go.

Thank heavens for honest and transparent kids for being an inspiration of how we can all behave.

Does anybody want to try this experiment with me? What if we just say yes when someone offers us something? LIVE LIFE ON THE WILD SIDE!

It was the third time that week a seller whispered this confession to me.

If I had a dollar for every time a seller secretly told me that time boxing doesn't work for them, I'd have a lot of dollars.

I want you to know that if time boxing doesn't work for you, it's okay.

You're not broken.

Time boxing is just one technique among a plethora of techniques to help you with your time management.

If it works for you, fantastic. If it doesn't, you're not wrong. You just don't fit into that box.

Everybody needs a slightly different technique based on your idiosyncrasies, based on your quirks, based on who you are, based on how your energy flows.

If some technique doesn't work for you, that's okay. There are so many other techniques to get to the same outcome.

If time boxing doesn't work for you, you're in such good company, and you can still be wildly successful.

I share more ideas like this in my newsletter for sellers who want to work smarter without fighting their own nature. Link in comments.

The most important thing you can do as an enterprise seller is give yourself white space in your calendar.

When you're in commercial, SMB, or mid-market, you can get better results from working more hours.

But once you get into enterprise and strategic sales, you're going to get better results by using your brain and allowing yourself to be strategic.

That strategic thinking does not happen when you're constantly sitting at your desk.

I have a seller who loves woodworking but feels guilty leaving his desk to go to his woodworking garage. I told him to think about time woodworking as time on the clock.

It's some of the most strategic time you can have.

When you're out there woodworking and you're exerting some of your nervous energy, it frees up your mind to actually think about your deals. To be strategic. To think about what you want to do next, how you want to approach things, and the point of view you want to create for a particular client.

Step away from your desk. Walk your dog. Work in the woodshop. Go exercise. Wash the dishes.

Something where you are moving your body to free up your mind to be able to think.

Thinking is the highest value activity you can do as an enterprise seller.

Don't feel guilty about stepping away from your desk to allow yourself to be strategic.

I write about mindset and productivity for enterprise sellers in my newsletter. Sign up if you want more like this.

Stop doom-scrolling by doing this one uncomfortable thing for 90 seconds.

The longer I coach, the more fascinating it is to me what we as humans do to avoid feeling our feelings.

It's so wild how society has taught us that feelings are a problem. That feelings aren't okay. That feelings are somehow a moral failing.

In reality, we are mammals. Every mammal feels feelings.

Whales feel feelings. Dogs feel feelings. Cats feel feelings.

What makes us think that we're above the rest of the animal kingdom and somehow shouldn't feel feelings?

It's amazing to me to see all the ways our brain tries to protect us from feeling as a way to create belonging.

In reality, if you just allow your feelings and let yourself feel them, they last for 90 seconds.

Once those 90 seconds are over, you feel free and clear.

You don't have to distract yourself.
You don't have to numb yourself out.
You don't have to avoid.
You don't have to react.

You can just be, and you will have moved through that feeling.

I'm pretty sure you can feel a feeling for 90 seconds.

Just think of all the time you'll save by not doom-scrolling, having not given in to your vices, by just letting yourself feel your feelings.

By just letting yourself be a mammal.

I write about mindset, productivity, and the real inner work of selling in tech. Join my newsletter if you want more like this in your inbox. {Link in comments}

You hit quota for 6 years straight. January hits. Attainment resets to zero. And your brain goes:
“What if I can’t do it again?”

Nothing is wrong with you. Your nervous system is reacting to a number, not reality.

Here’s the reset: 
Separate facts from stories.

Stories sound like:
↠ “I’m slipping.”
↠ “This year feels different.”
↠ “What if I can’t repeat it?”

Facts sound like:
↠ My attainment reset to 0.
↠ I’ve hit quota 5 of the last 6 years.
↠ I’ve closed deals this size before.

Anxiety doesn’t mean danger. It means your brain is predicting.

Old Way: Feel ↠ Spiral ↠ Hesitate.
New Way: Feel ↠ Check facts ↠ Take action.

Keep going.

In this week’s episode, I break down:
↳The cognitive distortions that sabotage enterprise sellers
↳Why your brain spirals at the start of the year
↳How to retrain your brain through action (the gym story changed everything)

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

When your number resets… what story does your brain tell you?

Slumps are not the problem. Fighting them is.

I used to think it was a really big problem anytime I found myself stuck in a slump.

Whenever I was in one, I would be like "oh no, here we go again." I'm the worst. Why does this keep happening to me? I'm gonna be stuck here forever.

Now I am not bothered by slumps at all.

I've realized that everything in nature goes through cycles of growth and decay. 

There's nothing except for cancer that grows continually without stopping. 

Everything has cycles of growth and cycles of decay, and humans are no different.

So if I just normalize that sometimes I'm in a decay cycle, it doesn't feel so bad.

By not fighting against that decay, I actually get out of that cycle faster. 

Whenever I fight against it and still try to push myself and get myself to perform, that's when I make the decay cycle last longer because I'm not giving myself the rest that I need.

The other reframe that has been really helpful is realizing that rest is just as important as exerting effort. 

The rest you take can actually be even more profound in improving your performance than exerting effort.

So now I don't see it as a problem when I am in a slump. 

I just notice, "Oh man, I guess I'm feeling tired today. I wonder what I can do that could be supportive for myself. How can I do favors for my future self? What can I take off my plate? How can I lower expectations for myself so that I can really, truly rest and then rejuvenate?"

So that when I come back to working, I'm fired up and ready to go.

I'm no longer in a place where I'm willing to push myself to burnout. It's not gonna be helpful for me or anyone else.

This year is the year of rest and spaciousness.

How about you?

Follow along if you want more posts about sustainable performance and getting out of your own way.

Slumps

I'll be like, "yeah, I'll just look at Instagram for 20 minutes, and then three hours later I'm still stuck scrolling."

It's so hard for me to stop. I can't always trust myself to get out.

And so, rather than expecting myself to be something different than what I am, I've just decided to put guardrails in place so that I can make it easy for myself to be the version of myself that I want to be.

One of the best hacks that has been game-changing for me is plugging in my phone in the bathroom.

Rather than charging my phone on my nightstand, where it's within reach and easy to get to, I put it in my bathroom to charge at night. That way, I can't easily grab it.

It also helps because then my alarm goes off in the bathroom and I have to get out of bed to turn it off, which makes it more likely that I stay out of bed.

I heard another funny hack that was, if you want to scroll in your bedroom, you have to do it standing up. You can't sit down or lie down. Because then if you're standing up, you won't do it for as long.

I tried it, and I hated it. So I just plugged my phone in the bathroom and left it.

I do have my Kindle on my nightstand now so that whenever I'm feeling like I need some kind of stimulation and I want to look at a screen, I read books. Usually they're non-fiction, and they're boring, so they put me to sleep, and then I just go to bed, and then I wake up early and go to the gym, and everyone wins.

If you're having trouble with your phone, try charging it in the bathroom.

Anyone else have useful hacks like this for reducing your screen time?

Why do we doomscroll instead of taking care of the one task that would relieve our minds?

You might be procrastinating because you're overwhelmed, not because you're an inferior human who can't get work done.

The thing with overwhelm that's super interesting is that when any human feels overwhelmed, instead of fixing the thing that's causing their overwhelm, they just stop in their tracks and distract themselves.

Over this past holiday break, my kids were home 24/7, and I love to have a clean, organized house. 

For me, inner order equals outer calm.

But having my kids home 24/7 meant there were disasters everywhere. 

I would clean off the counter, and pretty soon, there would be a craft covering the entire counter that had been abandoned.

You would think I would look at that messy kitchen and take care of it, so I didn't feel overwhelmed anymore.

But instead, I would just go lie on the couch and doom scroll until I felt horrible about myself.

This is what happens to anybody who feels overwhelmed. 

Instead of taking action on the things you want to be doing or need to be doing, you just stop in your tracks and probably doom scroll or distract yourself by seeking dopamine.

The solution to overwhelm is so simple.

Rather than stopping in your tracks, you can just break down the tasks smaller. 

Start with the next smallest thing you can do. 

Add more clarity for yourself on what actually needs to happen.

My funny hack for cleaning: Whenever I am cleaning my kitchen, I tell myself, "I'm not cleaning, I'm just moving things from one place to another."

It tricks my brain into getting into action in a small way instead of feeling super overwhelmed that I have to clean the entire thing.

What's one task you've been avoiding that might actually just need to be broken into smaller pieces?

You’re not “too nice.” You’re a master of survival.

If you’ve ever felt like being adaptable helped you succeed, but now it’s burning you out, you might be dealing with people pleasing.

Here’s how it starts (and why it sticks):

↠As a kid, chaos felt safer if you believed you were the cause
↠Blaming yourself = a sense of control
↠So you got really good at reading the room, adjusting, absorbing emotion

That helped you win… until it didn’t

Old Way: Be everything for everyone

New Way: Be yourself and trust it’s enough

In this week’s episode, I break down:
 ↳ Why people pleasing feels safe
 ↳ The identity crisis that comes with letting it go
 ↳ A real story that slapped me in the face (in a good way)

You can watch the full episode on YouTube (@amberdeibertcoaching) or listen on The Achievers Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. 

What’s one way people pleasing shows up for you at work?

Feeling your feelings is the fastest productivity hack no one talks about.

It's always wild to me how much our emotions hold us back.

And I don't mean in the toxic way where we shouldn't feel our emotions, and emotions are pointless.

I mean that we let the emotions drive the show rather than just feeling them and allowing them and processing them.

Once you learn how to process your feelings, you realize that it only takes about 90 seconds to let that emotion leave your body.

The emotion is processed when you:

↳  Honor the feeling (there's good information in this feeling)
↳  Allow the feeling (it's just a physical sensation)
↳  Tell yourself that it's totally fine that you feel this way. (Anybody would feel this way. You have to normalize your experience.)

And then once you do, you just let yourself feel the physical sensation of that emotion. 

You notice it, become really curious about it, and watch to see what happens.

After about 90 seconds, the sensation passes, and you'll feel so free and so clear and so focused and ready to take on anything.

So rather than:

↳  shoving down your emotions
↳  bottling them up
↳  avoiding them
↳  neglecting them
↳  telling yourself that you shouldn't be feeling them
↳  telling yourself that there's something wrong with you that you feel that way…

Try allowing them.

Try letting yourself feel that way.

Give yourself 90 seconds to process that emotion, and you'll find that they're no longer driving the show.

You're free and clear and ready to take action on the things that are important to you.

I write about managing your mindset and energy so you can work with more clarity and less resistance. Join my newsletter if that sounds helpful. {Link in comments}

Last week, someone asked where I'm from, and I froze.

"Where are you from?" is such a loaded question.

Are you asking where I grew up?
Where was I born?
Where did I discover my identity?

Because those are all different answers.

I'm in a weird spot because the place where I live right now isn't a reflection of who I am. If you stereotype the kind of person who lives where I live, I don't fit that stereotype.

Sometimes I claim a different place. I tell people where I'm living now, but then I explain that I'm really from the place where I found myself, where I uncovered myself, where I discovered who I was.

If you want to stereotype me, do it based on the place where I feel most at home.

Sometimes people ask me what high school I went to, which is even trickier. 

I went to high school in the poor part of town, but I don't like to be judged on that.

It wasn't my decision to live there. It wasn't my choices that caused me to grow up in poverty.

Don't judge me or stereotype me based on where I went to high school. Judge me based on the choices I've made, the decisions I've made, and the success I've achieved.

Am I the only one who feels this way, or are there other people who have a hard time answering this question, too?

Resting feels more uncomfortable than burnout ever did.

I'm in a period of life where I am focused on allowing myself to rest and on keeping my nervous system regulated, and it feels wildly uncomfortable.

It's not uncomfortable because it's wrong. It's just uncomfortable because it's unfamiliar.

As somebody with ADHD, I've learned to motivate myself with stress, with fear, with adrenaline, with deadlines, with pressure... 

And it's gotten me to the point where I completely burned out.

I had to relearn how to treat myself, how to work, and how to motivate myself.

It's been so uncomfortable to let myself rest and to not push myself and to not grind and to not hustle and to not go beyond what I know I can do.

What I'm focused on now is every day creating the best life circumstance that I can possibly have. Instead of operating from cortisol and adrenaline, I'm trying to operate out of generosity and kindness towards myself.

It's the most foreign experience ever. And crazy enough, it's gotten better results than anything I've ever tried before.

Now my orientation is to do favors for my future self.

I think about what Amber in five minutes is going to need, what Amber at the end of the day is going to need, and what Amber in one year is going to need. And I take care of her.

Sometimes this means doing the things that I don't want to do and the things that I've been procrastinating on, but doing them because I know it's going to put me in the best situation.

That has made it more sustainable than pushing myself, forcing myself out of hatred or dislike for myself. That feeling has not been sustainable.

Can anybody else relate to this?

Allowing Rest

Wow. Terry Rice, I'm in tears, and so inspired by you. Thank you for sharing your story, and this beautiful documentary!

You really did turn the worst moment in your life into something we all get to benefit from now.

https://lnkd.in/gfJB-NSM

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Daniel Francisco Tamayo

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Performance Score.css-goub6s{font-size:var(--chakra-fontSizes-md);font-weight:500;color:var(--chakra-colors-gray-600);display:block;margin-top:var(--chakra-space-1);}Amber Deibert's LinkedIn Performance

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